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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by anxious and sleeples on April 10, 2004, at 12:38:00
I am feeling desperate. No matter how big of a benzo Rx refill I get, I may go through within a matter of a few days. At times, I may take up to 20MG of Klonopin. I am functioning in my job and have a lot to lose. I just don't feel that I have any control over this. The withdrawals are unbearable. (by the way, I'm the one who was asking where to get benzos online the other day ;)
I do have some great doctors working with me, but I feel that I need to help myself here to get through this. Addiction is a nasty thing that I have dealt with my whole life... meth, coke, tranqs, opiates, you name it.
I would love to hear from someone who might relate.
Thanks
Posted by thinkfast on April 20, 2004, at 6:27:48
In reply to Help, posted by anxious and sleeples on April 10, 2004, at 12:38:00
hey sleepless...i'm trying to detour my own personal impulse to get some opiates from the internet..i've been trying to find someoneone besides my pdoc to get some help from...too scared to tell her...i took some vicodin last weekend and it worked a little too good...i felt almost normal...now i have a hunger for it again...just an addiction poping up...i know if i get some, i will get hooked on it for sure....this impulse is driving me nutz! anyway..hope dr.bob doesn't remove this..i'm not trying to promote getting meds without an RX, but it is very easy to do, and it's unfortunate for us addictive personality types...anyway..good luck....peace
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on April 24, 2004, at 22:41:58
In reply to Re: Help, posted by thinkfast on April 20, 2004, at 6:27:48
Hi there anxious and sleeples,
I am totally w/ you on the Vicadin thing. I have tried just about every illicit substance over my short years, and taking Vicodin was like an epiphany for me! Peaceful, tranquil and w/o the risk of going manic!
It started when a student of mine gave me some in lieu of a payment, and I *very* quickly got hooked on the stuff. Now, when I hear the word painkiller, my receptors go haywire. I have eye surgery coming up, and the only thing I am looking for are painkillers (ahem - and better vision). It's sad; these drugs are so potent. So, I know this is hypocritical, but *stay* away.
Fellow (and hopefully former user),
Man-oh-man
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on April 24, 2004, at 22:44:09
In reply to Re: Help, posted by thinkfast on April 20, 2004, at 6:27:48
Hey,
I'm sorry - this was intented more for thinkfast. It sounds like you've only dabbled in painkillers. Try, if you can, to keep it that way.
Man-oh-man
Posted by Festus on May 7, 2004, at 22:58:11
In reply to Re: Help, posted by man_oh_man1977 on April 24, 2004, at 22:44:09
Howdy Guys,I ain,t gonna get out the soapbox and start a 12-step sermon or anything,but,if I may suggest a starting point that is worth considering.First,I don,t know your situation,but mine had to do with the fact that I had developed a liking for the "warm-fuzzy"Opiate feeling early on,as a teen,when I was given Percocet for a tooth extraction.It turned out that years later,after several accidents,broken bones,vertabrae,disc trouble,etc.,I ended up HAVING to take Opiates,just to get out of bed and work.This sorta took away the"warm-fuzzy feeling"and it made everything change.I got up to over 700mg. of Oxycontin every day,just to delay pain onset.If you,ve ever heard from folks that take Oxy,it begins to wear off after several hours and the cravings start,except this time they are followed by terrible pain,as well.At near $1,800.00 a month(after my insurance got snuffed),I had no choice but to switch to Methadone.It was the best thing I coulda done.Not only does it ease my pain,it took away the Mental anguish of those awful cravings.I,m able to get a month,s worth for about 50 bucks.My Pain Doc said many of his patients lost their insurance and had begun Methadone and were doing well with it.Anyway,it is an option worth looking into.Good-Luck!Festus
Posted by Tony P on May 25, 2004, at 16:35:40
In reply to Help, posted by anxious and sleeples on April 10, 2004, at 12:38:00
I can really relate, I've tried almost everything at one time or another and abused them all, except (thank God) heroin and the newer uppers - I'd be gone. I have been on and off benzos several times, it really does take six months to get back to anywhere near normal.
The only thing that stopped me from buying benzos on the net one bad night was the cost. When I got to the checkout and saw how much I'd be paying for 3 weeks supply (if I really used them carefully - ha!), I had a brief moment of sanity (or maybe Scottish frugality), quit the site, and next morning swallowed my pride and went to the Dr. I live in Canada, so generic benzos are CHEAP if prescribed legally - I couldn't get past paying over $100 US for something that would cost me $15 at a drugstore here!
I am on far too many benzos at the moment, I've been taking the total equivalent (according to the tables) of 10 to 15 Valium 10 mg daily for the past week. All legitimately prescribed, but I did double up on two of them when I switched from Serax to Restoril at night. I think it's gotten a bit out of hand, despite having a very knowledgeable MD, and I am not looking forward to getting off them, especially since I'm STILL hyper half the time despite everything I'm taking.
The one thing I know is I can't do it on my own - I need all the people and help I can stand, and then some, being an extreme loner by nature. And arrogant as well - sometimes I think because I "know it all", been there, done that, got several T-shirts, I should be able to control my using -- after all, they're "only" Rx drugs, or "only" OTCs. Not a chance. Sure, I'm the one who has to actually stop taking the benzos (gradually of course), and I can't be around people all the time, nor is anyone going to hold my hand 24/7, but it's hopeless if I try to manage it all myself. I've proven that too often.
Case in point - after taking too many benzos all week as I said, I've been up all night, on the computer, never even got around to taking my night, morning and noon meds (benzos and Lamictal) and now here it is 2:30 PM (local PDT) and I don't know where the time went. I'm going on like the EverReady bunny and I think I'm more than a little crazy today. Do I crash and go to bed and try to get the sleep I really need, or do I tough out what remains of the day and hope I'm tired enough to _want_ to sleep tonight??Maybe I'll flip a coin. Or maybe I'll call my sponsor. Or trust my body - my mind is sure not reliable at this point!
Next time I post here I'd better set the anti- addiction limit - it doesn't actually stop me posting, but at least it's a reminder.
Now I really WILL stop posting.
Tony P
This is the end of the thread.
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