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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2014, at 13:41:59
My lawyer's office needed me to fill in a really long check list, with many details, mostly financial information.
I have been just about immobilised by depression trying to pack and live in this sad household. Trapped by having only one vehicle (being rectified this week). Unable to use my room as a refuge because the phone and internet reception is non existent there.
I called and asked if they could help me with the form. The lawyer has wanted me to put my Big Girl Pants on for this, but I just can't right now. This morning the assistant patiently went through the entire multiple pages of the form with me. The gaps that remain are information I am unable to supply.A huge weight lifted. I came home and had an hour long nap.
This is so much harder when there is no hate involved. Only sadness.
Posted by Phillipa on August 26, 2014, at 17:52:39
In reply to Making it just a bit easier, posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2014, at 13:41:59
I don't recall ever having to do this. The lawyers did it for me? Was part of my retainer?
Posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2014, at 23:35:43
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on August 26, 2014, at 17:52:39
Depends on the state?
Posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2014, at 9:41:33
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier, posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2014, at 23:35:43
That also? Virginia was the same as CT. Don't know about where you are though
Posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2014, at 19:26:13
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2014, at 9:41:33
Florida. Every state has different laws when it comes to dissolution of marriage. Here separation is not recognised. ???
The things you learn. But he's been through it before, and here. I think that had a lot more to do with why he was upset at first. Now we both just bummed out, but I am starting to improve slightly as my move out day approaches. Every one has noted a change, a lightness, in my demeanour. It is like shedding a very heavy burden.
Posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2014, at 20:25:55
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier, posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2014, at 19:26:13
I know this may should crazy but after 21 years of first marriage the day I took off my wedding ring. I literally felt bricks being lifted off my shoulders. It was a good feeling. Never put the ring back on even when we tried or I tried to start over. That was seven years. Can you believe how dumb I was? Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on August 27, 2014, at 20:50:14
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier, posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2014, at 19:26:13
sometimes the heaviest burden of all is one of indecision. making a decision... having a resolve. that can lift the burden, considerably.
hope you are managing to get out, some. remembering back to when i couldn't get any peace and quiet at home... horrible to not have a refuge... i would feel a bit better managing to find something pleasant on the outside... but of course, nothing quite compares to having a refuge of home. sorry you are sort of homeless... if that makes sense.
Posted by SLS on August 27, 2014, at 23:52:12
In reply to Making it just a bit easier, posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2014, at 13:41:59
> This is so much harder when there is no hate involved. Only sadness.
Yes. Anger is a hell of a motivator.
To me, divorce is always sad, even when it is the best thing for both parties. I don't think that too many people go into marriage with the ultimate goal of getting a divorce. There are still times when I experience sadness when thinking about my divorce, even though I know that it was the only way that each of us could pursue our happiness as individuals. It has been 24 years.
Some days will be harder than others. Keep yourself focused on your goals. Remind yourself of the reasons why you chose to make such dramatic changes in your life. Acknowledge your needs and desires. As sad and difficult as all of this is for you, consider it the price you must pay for your ultimate happiness and fulfillment. Move forward towards health and away from sickness.
You'll be okay.
- Scott
Posted by ClearSkies on August 28, 2014, at 5:14:49
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2014, at 20:25:55
> I know this may should crazy but after 21 years of first marriage the day I took off my wedding ring. I literally felt bricks being lifted off my shoulders. It was a good feeling. Never put the ring back on even when we tried or I tried to start over. That was seven years. Can you believe how dumb I was? Phillipa
Not dumb. To me it is a sign of respect for the institution of the commitment you had made.
Posted by ClearSkies on August 28, 2014, at 5:17:35
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier, posted by alexandra_k on August 27, 2014, at 20:50:14
Yes, it does make sense! My refuge are my evenings, when I have classes and courses (metaphysical subjects) and group therapy. That is really the "my" time when I can be among people who are like minded, and in some cases, going through difficult transitions as well.
Posted by ClearSkies on August 28, 2014, at 5:19:01
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » ClearSkies, posted by SLS on August 27, 2014, at 23:52:12
Thanks, Scott. I know that the closer I get to my goal, the lighter my burden feels. Now THAT is a motivator.
Posted by Phil on August 28, 2014, at 11:47:16
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » SLS, posted by ClearSkies on August 28, 2014, at 5:19:01
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler
Posted by ClearSkies on August 28, 2014, at 12:09:56
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » ClearSkies, posted by Phil on August 28, 2014, at 11:47:16
> I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
>
> Elayne Boosler
>
>Irony - my husband went to high school with her.
HA!
Posted by Phil on August 28, 2014, at 20:30:06
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » Phil, posted by ClearSkies on August 28, 2014, at 12:09:56
Now that is strange.
Posted by ClearSkies on August 30, 2014, at 16:57:25
In reply to Re: Making it just a bit easier » ClearSkies, posted by Phil on August 28, 2014, at 20:30:06
> Now that is strange.
I will go so far as to say there is a message in there somewhere, because he mentions her quite often.
And Terry Gross, of public radio's Fresh Air, was his neighbour in the same apartment building. He didn't care for her.
Hmm.
This is the end of the thread.
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