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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 11:59:15
The message, that I was so unhappy and ill that I was prepared to leave, has been received, and, happily, responded to. He has started his individual therapy. My own depression has improved markedly, in that I am far more functional than I had been up to this point.
Part of the improvement has been to explore new activities that we can do jointly, instead of repeatedly being disappointed by my not being able to do what he'd wanted to do (every weekend).
Sometimes it takes a crisis to find where the broken bits are. And for me, where my strengths are. I know now what I am capable of doing if I have to. It's pure empowerment.
Posted by Twinleaf on February 6, 2014, at 12:19:47
In reply to It is working out so far, posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 11:59:15
That is just wonderful PC! I do hope things continue to get better and better. It seems very promising that he finally heard what you have been saying, and had a change of heart about returning to therapy. It sounds like you are both doing your best to be flexible and open-minded - not so easy in stressful situations!
Posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 13:53:07
In reply to Re: It is working out so far » Partlycloudy, posted by Twinleaf on February 6, 2014, at 12:19:47
I would say that we both had a lot invested in this relationship, emotionally, spiritually, and in a jointly held way, economically. Though I knew I could make it on my on own, I knew what I would be leaving behind in order to create a new world.
I am grateful that he realized the same, and decided that a life without me was not what he had ever planned for. We might be able to DO it, but if we are to be happy doing it, it is a different path.
Thanks, TL.
Posted by Poet on February 6, 2014, at 18:01:55
In reply to It is working out so far, posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 11:59:15
Hi PC,
Keep that empowerment going strong and don't let anything get in your way. I'm so glad that he finally realized that his behavior was much of the reason for your unhappiness and feeling the need to leave.
Power to PC and keep it coming.
Poet
Posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2014, at 18:01:58
In reply to Re: It is working out so far, posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 13:53:07
that is great to hear pc. really, very. i'm glad you found your strength in really processing through that you totally could leave.
do you have any ideas of stuff you both like to do?
Posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 18:46:31
In reply to Re: It is working out so far, posted by alexandra_k on February 6, 2014, at 18:01:58
Sure, we both love art, music and crafts. I prefer smaller shows, having found that the same talent shows up year after year. Just like with the antique stuff. A change of stance to the same articles producikes different results. We are more focused now. A particular period in time rather than a swath. Much more of a challenge, in a modern home.
Posted by Phillipa on February 7, 2014, at 9:07:02
In reply to Re: It is working out so far, posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 18:46:31
Glad things are back on track so to speak. Do you still have the antique business? I remember when you were starting this. Walks on the beach are good also. Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on February 21, 2014, at 21:53:36
In reply to Re: It is working out so far, posted by Partlycloudy on February 6, 2014, at 18:46:31
Aw. I just keep remembering when you were on holiday and you said something about... Wishing he would quit walking so fast. Would walk next to you. Would hold your hand. And I thought that was really sweet... And you must love him, really, to feel like that. And now you turn out to have cute-sy stuff in common, too. Not to undermine some of the very real difficulties. I'm glad that the both of you value your relationship so much. How are things going? Does he need another kick in the pants, yet??
Posted by Partlycloudy on February 22, 2014, at 6:37:27
In reply to Re: It is working out so far, posted by alexandra_k on February 21, 2014, at 21:53:36
Well, we are on a short trip with a third person. Mostly it is OK. I am trying my hardest to be more assertive without being bitchy - not easy for me. The third person is aware there are issues. At one point during the conference exhibitions, spouse was calling me in one direction, and friend was pulling me on the arm in the other. I went with the friend. I stood up for myself without it coming across as a personal attack. Stressful, though.
Sigh.
This is the end of the thread.
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