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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Roslynn on January 15, 2014, at 11:53:03
I feel stupid posting this. Is anyone else lonely? I have no friends. I don't really know how to make friends. I don't know what I would talk about with a new friend and if they would be scared away by my severe depression.
Can anyone relate?
Roslynn
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 15, 2014, at 12:33:50
In reply to Lonely, posted by Roslynn on January 15, 2014, at 11:53:03
Yes, Roslynn. I have felt quite lonely and isolated, especially in my conditions of depression and anxiety, among others. At times I can barely leave the house.
This board has been of great help to me over the years. I have made some very good friends here.
On the home front, I looked at MeetUp.org; not to find fellow sufferers, but to discover people with interests that would make me want to get out and be social. That has been a big success for me.
Your loneliness is not incurable. It may wax and wane, but I am finding people to be sociable. Taking the first step is a fright.I'd be happy to discuss this further with you. Take care.
PC
Posted by Poet on January 15, 2014, at 13:21:20
In reply to Lonely, posted by Roslynn on January 15, 2014, at 11:53:03
Hi Roslynn,
You must have been reading my thoughts. I have lost friends over the years, I email or leave voicemails that never get returned. I figure they get tired of me being depressed and/or unemployed. I know they probably have their own issues that might factor in, but as they don't come out and say why they ended the friendship I just draw my own conclusions.
That said, I swim with the same people three times a week and we sometimes get together outside of class. I consider them to be my friends and they are amazingly supportive of my unemployment and depression. In the beginning all we had in common was exercise, but now we talk about movies, books, food, etc. Maybe join a book club or some other social group? I know being social is tough when you're depressed (I also have social anxiety so I need meds to go out to dinner with even close friends).
I'm lonely right now because I've been out of work for over a year and while I never made permanent friends out of co-workers I miss being around people (even if they were annoying me).
Like PC, I have made friends through babble and have met posters in real life.
Poet
Posted by baseball55 on January 15, 2014, at 18:44:10
In reply to Re: Lonely » Roslynn, posted by Poet on January 15, 2014, at 13:21:20
Wow! What a good question. I feel lonely a lot. The reality is that I am not nearly as lonely as I used to be. I have made friends over the last several years due to attending 12-step meetings. But I have a hard time reaching out. My therapist is always telling me about meet up.com. But I feel awkward with new people and have a hard time feeling comfortable with new people. I feel I can't be honest about what I feel, but need to put on this facade of being okay and upbeat.
Yet getting out and doing things does make me feel better. I've been taking a couple of adult-ed classes and, though I doubt these will result in long-term friendships, I do enjoy being with others and learning new things.
Posted by Roslynn on January 17, 2014, at 14:40:03
In reply to Lonely, posted by Roslynn on January 15, 2014, at 11:53:03
Thank you everyone for your replies! I will post again as soon as I get some energy...thanks..Roslynn
Posted by SLS on January 17, 2014, at 15:17:07
In reply to Lonely, posted by Roslynn on January 15, 2014, at 11:53:03
> I feel stupid posting this.
That may be, but you don't look at all stupid for posting this. You are brave.
> Is anyone else lonely?
Not so much. I am very fortunate to have three or four very good friends, and manage to meet new people WHEN MY DEPRESSION IS NOT SEVERE.
> I have no friends. I don't really know how to make friends.
Are you in psychotherapy? Perhaps a life-coach familiar with severe depression would be a better fit. I don't make friends easily. I make acquaintances. But even that is a skill. As a skill, it can be learned.
> I don't know what I would talk about with a new friend and if they would be scared away by my severe depression.
>
> Can anyone relate?Yes. I was a complete hermit for over 10 years. I had no human contact except for my parents and my computer. My best friend was afraid to go near me. I was very awkward socially when I finally began to respond to treatment. It is an ongoing process to recover, not only from the depression, but from the damage it leaves in its wake.
I have no easy answers for you, Rosylynn. Even Psycho-Babble acts as social contact and is usually a healthy place to interact.
Do you ever go out of the house?
Which do you think is worse - to be lonely or to be alone?
I like you. You present yourself as a warm, kind, and caring person. I wish I could ease your suffering. It is extremely difficult to build a life when one is stuck in a chronic and severe depression. I hope you continue to be brave and go forward in trying new treatments. You never know where the key to the cage door will be found.
- Scott
Posted by Roslynn on January 18, 2014, at 15:10:51
In reply to Re: Lonely » Roslynn, posted by SLS on January 17, 2014, at 15:17:07
This is the end of the thread.
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