Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1057211

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Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr

Posted by Poet on December 30, 2013, at 14:58:29

Since they probably won't hire me anyway, this is what I wish I had put in their on-line application which took a half hour to fill out.

April 2004-December 2004. Quit job due to stress combined with major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation. Over medicated by psychiatrist after therapist threatened to call 911. Once sane again actively looked for work, accepted boring, low paying temp job January 2005. Temp job went perm June 2005, left for new job October 2006.

November 2006 fired for absolutely no reason from new job. Collected unemployment from low paying boring perm employer until February 2007 when I got another job.

February 2008 downsized. Collected full unemployment benefits from February 2008 through May 2008. Worked part time May 2008- May 2009, few enough hours to still collect partial unemployment benefits. Despite employer being a cheapskate, finagled full time work June 2009.

November 2012 until present. Left job for what was supposed to be high paying dream job, got fired after less than 30 days. Was told I was too slow to catch on, but was treated like I had stolen everything in sight. Was handed letter and escorted out the door: I am not eligible for rehire and may not step foot on company property. Coffee cup and other personal items mailed to me two weeks later, soup bowl was chipped. Collect unemployment from cheapskate employer and have had 20 interviews and no offers. Unemployment again up for review and if not extended am screwed.

Poet

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr

Posted by alexandra_k on December 30, 2013, at 16:16:28

In reply to Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr, posted by Poet on December 30, 2013, at 14:58:29

> Since they probably won't hire me anyway, this is what I wish I had put in their on-line application which took a half hour to fill out.
>
> April 2004-December 2004. Quit job due to stress combined with major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation. Over medicated by psychiatrist after therapist threatened to call 911. Once sane again actively looked for work, accepted boring, low paying temp job January 2005. Temp job went perm June 2005, left for new job October 2006.
>
> November 2006 fired for absolutely no reason from new job. Collected unemployment from low paying boring perm employer until February 2007 when I got another job.
>
> February 2008 downsized. Collected full unemployment benefits from February 2008 through May 2008. Worked part time May 2008- May 2009, few enough hours to still collect partial unemployment benefits. Despite employer being a cheapskate, finagled full time work June 2009.
>
> November 2012 until present. Left job for what was supposed to be high paying dream job, got fired after less than 30 days. Was told I was too slow to catch on, but was treated like I had stolen everything in sight. Was handed letter and escorted out the door: I am not eligible for rehire and may not step foot on company property. Coffee cup and other personal items mailed to me two weeks later, soup bowl was chipped. Collect unemployment from cheapskate employer and have had 20 interviews and no offers. Unemployment again up for review and if not extended am screwed.

hmm. can you get some help with that?

'personal leave' is an acceptable thing to say. people expect women to have family stuff. kids etc. even if they assume wrong... that is their business.

can the unemployment people give you some (actual, genuine, proper) help? or are there mental health advocacy / support services (maybe volunteers or something). they might well have mental health friendly employers. people who can get you in on something stimulating and appropriate via more word of mouth?

my cv... is an abomination. i'm unemployable. because i didn't keep up part time work (aside from teaching) as a student i really have nothing to say to non academic employers. aside from the little stint i did in hospitality... but i can't do that kind of work again because of my feet. and i had all kinds of anxiety about not being rude... or making bad coffees... even though policies and demanding employers conspired against me...

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr » alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on January 1, 2014, at 15:47:46

In reply to Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr, posted by alexandra_k on December 30, 2013, at 16:16:28

My therapist doesn't think it would be wise for me to "play the crazy card" and try to get a job through a mental health organization. She thinks that because I get interviews, but no offers that I have trouble reading facial expressions and so I don't respond appropriately to them. I'm not sure anymore, I'm just frustrated beyond endurance.

The unemployment people offer resume writing workshops, but my resume is not the issue. I attended a mandatory workshop in how to get a job and it was laughable. "Do no use an unprofessional email address (actual example) 'bootilicious'@blank.com. Also, don't put your address on your resume they don't need to know what neighborhood you live in. I guess I should appear homeless and not show I live in a very nice suburban neighborhood.

Sorry, if I'm ranting. I just have reached the breaking point and am going to talk to my therapist about the crazy card if I don't get something soon. Dr. Clueless is gone for the month of January and I'm going to talk to her, too. Two interviews next week. Maybe 2014 will break my failure streak. Maybe.

Poet

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr

Posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2014, at 17:27:49

In reply to Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on January 1, 2014, at 15:47:46

> My therapist doesn't think it would be wise for me to "play the crazy card" and try to get a job through a mental health organization. She thinks that because I get interviews, but no offers that I have trouble reading facial expressions and so I don't respond appropriately to them.

Okay. I guess my thought was that "playing the crazy card" might be what helps potential employers understand what is going on in the interview.

I'm trying to come to terms at the moment... But the Autistic Spectrum thing is really making a lot of sense of a lot of stuff for me. Perhaps... Something like that might be going on for you?

Do you have trouble looking people in the eyes and processing what they are saying at the same time? I can't do both. I look down a lot - but then I start to feel embarrassed, sometimes. Because it seems sort of submissive. So I started to look sideways instead thinking that at least it was hierarchy neutral. But then I got informed that doing that makes people think I'm shifty / untrustworthy. But the truth of it is: I'm doing my best to really listen and think about what they are saying in order to respond appropriately. And I can't do that and look at the same time.

And... I'm actually quite good at following instructions because of this. So it isn't really such a disability... So much as a difference.

I don't know if your interview stuff might be stuff like this?

And the answer isn't social skills training (pretending to be different from what you are on interview) so much as assistance with your communicating to your employer what you can provide that is different / what they need to do different in order for you to come to the party in a way that is mutually understood...

I'm still thinking on this...

I guess I need to figure a way to tell the Med people that I'm on the spectrum before the interview and be willing for it to come up as a subject of conversation in the interview. Because... If I don't do this they simply will get warning alarms 'something is a bit off about her' in the interview.

Maybe something similar is going on with you.

> Sorry, if I'm ranting. I just have reached the breaking point and am going to talk to my therapist about the crazy card if I don't get something soon. Dr. Clueless is gone for the month of January and I'm going to talk to her, too. Two interviews next week. Maybe 2014 will break my failure streak. Maybe.

You aren't ranting. My heart goes out to you that you have had such trouble finding meaningful employment over the last however many years... Especially when you are obviously intelligent and willing to work etc etc. Hugs (if safe). Has anyone suggested to you that you might be on the spectrum?

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr » alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on January 4, 2014, at 14:09:46

In reply to Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr, posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2014, at 17:27:49

Hi Alex,

Dr. Clueless thought I was on the spectrum, though modified it to "sensory integration" issues. This could explain it if it's true that I can't read facial expressions/body language. I do try to look people in the eye, but maybe I'm really looking away, I never thought of that. I'll really try to look directly at the people in interviews. The other thing I need to do is smile. Smiling does not come natural to me.

I will gladly accept your safe cyber hugs.

I now have three interviews next week, one of them has to come through for me despite my mental obstacles.

Poet

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr

Posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 16:27:35

In reply to Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on January 4, 2014, at 14:09:46

Hi. I hear that sometimes 'sensory integration' or 'sensory processing' issues can be enough to get sufficient accommodations / can be enough to make some kinda sense of what is going on.

Apparently it has more to do with eye contact being 'natural' or not. So trying to look more won't necessarily 'fix' it (people might then think you are staring). I've read some people say they develop rules like 'look between the eyes for 3 seconds then look away' or whatever to have more normally appearing patterns of eye contact... But I don't know that such efforts ever do appear normal to others.

For me... I think I can feel the connectedness that some people get from eye contact... I think this feeling is what they are going for... For me... It burns like a photographic image memory of their face for... Hours. It takes me to recover. Feels like they are crawling inside me for a while there... So... I am reluctant to have this kind of eye contact with people. Certainly not multiple times over the course of a conversation... Or attempting to try and make this connection with every single person I meet on the street - as some people seem to try and do. I think... It is not so much about looking at their eyes... As it is about looking to the middle point inside their head through the black void of their pupils (if that makes sense). And they do that the same time as you. And it is like your minds meld for an instant. like that pic of god and adam touching their finger tip.

I think there is probably some quick little phrase that one can say that would be sufficient for most people. And if that phrase turned out not to be sufficient then that would indicate that the people simply weren't able to be sufficiently understanding / accommodating.

Smiling is a lot like eye contact... There is something about the way that a lot of people are wired up that is a fairly good indicator or... Genuineness. Or honesty. Seems to be how it is typically described. People are able to detect genuine (spontaneously elicited) smiles compared to smiles that people intentionally generate. It isn't really an indicator of honesty, but people take it to be such. It seems to track how people are wired up with respect to their physiology / cognition... Something...

This is where there is starting to be a positive or beneficical stereotype or image that can be positively helpful... You have people like Sheldon on the big bang theory who comes out with the oddest things... That seem borderline sociopathic... Not smiling. Not sharing. Etc. But then things that come hard to others come really easy to him (e.g., loaning Penny money with genuinely no strings attached)... Following through on his promises. Not making promised without careful thought. Ability to focus. Etc.

It is tricky... I have mixed feelings... But it does seem to provide something of a 'way in' for people to understand. You don't need to explain at length... Just trigger that kind of stereotype in people rather than the 'something is off / shifty / shady' alarm. I mean... People find Sheldon... Endearing. Right? And they let him have his chair and they drive him to the dentist... Because there is little else to be done...

I'm thinking of things to say...

I (fingers crossed if all goes well) will have to deal with a med school interview in december. that gives me a while to prepare. one of the things i need to learn is whether i can do appropriate eye contact so i don't come across as odd in this respect. or what to say about it (so it isn't the elephant in the room that results in them bypassing me) that might be acceptable to them. whether to prime them before ... whether to only bring it up in the interview if they notice something is off... whether i can accurately assess whether they notice something is off... i need to figure what to do.

one thing i was thinking was to perhaps tilt my head a bit so one of my ears is a bit closer to them when one is talking. this lets me look (steadily) off to one side. then 'i find it easier to hear what you are saying if i really focus on that' or something... i don't know if that could come across as natural / if that could work. it is another way of saying that i need less sensory input to my eyes (and to try and screen out people reaching around inside my head with their eyes) in order to hear with my ears.

i don't know.

what will patients think? i guess that is really the issue. so i need to figure something that works that i can trot out for most people...

i hope that we both find a way to be that works...

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr

Posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 16:32:24

In reply to Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr, posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 16:27:35

actually students in a one on one situation is fine. because of the power differential it is not really a meeting of minds. they just want to register kindness / respect / beneficence from me is all. they don't really give a sh*t about who i am.

 

Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr » alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on January 9, 2014, at 20:32:30

In reply to Re: Account for all Periods of Unemployment Past 10 yr, posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2014, at 16:27:35

Hi Alex,

I got an email from the company that wanted the ten years of employment history that they changed to a new computer system and I have to do another application. I haven't yet. My unemployment was not extended so I don't have to do a mandatory search of four jobs a week.

Positive news is I had four interviews in four days, one was a second one. Another was a phone interview and she said that I will be contacted for an in person interview, I'm going to be brave and if I don't hear tomorrow I'm calling. That one is really close to my house and a small office which I prefer. Though at this point I will accept any offer and smile like a beauty pageant contestant.

I am worried that I am enough on the spectrum that I don't interpret visual clues, but since I was called back for a second interview within two days I had to read some of it right.

You have time to practice for your med school interview (my fingers are crossed for you that you get at least one.) My father-in-law is probably on the spectrum and aced med school, he couldn't handle patient contact so after his residency he went into research where he did quite well.

Remember you are smart and I will try to remember that I am, too, we're just stuck in circumstances beyond our control.

Poet


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