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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 32. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:09:40
I think I must be as hideously unlikeable as I always thought I was.
Posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 18:14:39
In reply to Unlikeable, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:09:40
Posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 18:16:08
In reply to Unlikeable, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:09:40
Posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 18:17:49
In reply to Unlikeable, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:09:40
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:22:10
In reply to your dog peed on your foot and bit you? (nm) » Dinah, posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 18:17:49
Stupid, stupid, stupid of me.
Posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 18:28:36
In reply to I'm sorry I said anything, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:22:10
for offering sympathy!
You can buy fake vomit for 22 dollars a case. I have been busily researching a cure for your emetophobia. sorry it's taken so long.
Posted by evenintherain on April 19, 2010, at 18:39:38
In reply to I'm sorry I said anything, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:22:10
i don't know you, but fwiw you hardly seem unlikeable, quite the opposite. and i'm headachey and hate people today!
sometimes jokes can look crueler on these forums than they were meant to be. some meaning and context seems to get lost in this medium. on the other hand, sometimes people get something out of stirring up trouble. either way, i hope you will not take it personally.
Posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 19:04:11
In reply to Re: I'm sorry I said anything » Dinah, posted by evenintherain on April 19, 2010, at 18:39:38
> i don't know you, but fwiw you hardly seem unlikeable, quite the opposite. and i'm headachey and hate people today!
>
> sometimes jokes can look crueler on these forums than they were meant to be. some meaning and context seems to get lost in this medium. on the other hand, sometimes people get something out of stirring up trouble. either way, i hope you will not take it personally.I hope you weren't calling my attempt to cheer dinah up cruel? I love the whole world and wouldn't hold it against you even if you were tho!
Hope your headache disappears!
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 19:40:58
In reply to Re: I'm sorry I said anything » Dinah, posted by evenintherain on April 19, 2010, at 18:39:38
Thank you.
I don't really know what's gotten into me today. It might be med related.
Posted by obsidian on April 19, 2010, at 20:48:33
In reply to why? I hope i won't be blocked for 2 years, posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 18:28:36
have a nice day *ssh*l*
Posted by evenintherain on April 19, 2010, at 20:49:56
In reply to I won't try to cheer her up again . Sorry. » evenintherain, posted by zazenducke on April 19, 2010, at 19:04:11
no, i'm sorry, i thought your posts were very funny actually. i don't know exactly what i was trying to say, i am having a bad day and was confused. thanks for the well wishes, maybe the headache will go away tomorrow.
Posted by evenintherain on April 19, 2010, at 20:52:53
In reply to Re: I'm sorry I said anything » evenintherain, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 19:40:58
this whole thread has confused me now. i hope you feel better soon.
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2010, at 6:11:43
In reply to Re: I'm sorry I said anything » Dinah, posted by evenintherain on April 19, 2010, at 20:52:53
I'm confused too.
And I am embarrassed I posted it to begin with.
Thank you.
Posted by SLS on April 20, 2010, at 7:03:46
In reply to Unlikeable, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:09:40
> I think I must be as hideously unlikeable as I always thought I was.
Perhaps you should write a list of those features of your being that you feel make you unlikeable. After you are done, you can then read the list and perform reality tests. Hopefully, you will find that your list is unrealistic and full of cognitive distortions. You'll know that the list contains cognitive distortions because people do indeed like you. It is only logical.
I am sorry that you should experience such an existential crisis. I doubt that there is much I could say that will change your state of mind. Let it pass.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on April 20, 2010, at 7:05:58
In reply to Unlikeable, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2010, at 18:09:40
> > I think I must be as hideously unlikeable as I always thought I was.
>
> Perhaps you should write a list of those features of your being that you feel make you unlikeable. After you are done, you can then read the list and perform reality tests. Hopefully, you will find that your list is unrealistic and full of cognitive distortions. You'll know that the list contains cognitive distortions because people do indeed like you. It is only logical.
>
> I am sorry that you should experience such an existential crisis. I doubt that there is much I could say that will change your state of mind. Let it pass.I forgot to mention that I like you.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2010, at 8:31:51
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » Dinah, posted by SLS on April 20, 2010, at 7:05:58
> I forgot to mention that I like you.
Thanks Scott. That actually helps a lot.
I'm tempted to pass this off as a purely physical thing, like a panic attack or a shame attack. The intensity of how it hit me felt physical.
But if I look back over the past few months, I've definitely reversed my trend of taking chances and reaching out to people. The unfortunate truth is that people often *don't* like me, stretching back to middle school. A chance remark, one that my husband said wasn't meant as I feared it was, has me reluctant to go to Sunday School. A sense that my son is embarrassed of me (natural enough at his age) has me feeling like I'm nothing but a social burden to him and my husband and I ought to hide at home. I'm popping back into my shell. It's hard to overcome a lifetime of feeling like an unwelcome outsider.
I hadn't really put everything together though, and realized what I was doing. I suppose I'd better start addressing the issue. Just how to address it I'm not sure, since I think objectively that I am a social burden.
Thank you for making me think.
Posted by Justherself54 on April 20, 2010, at 10:06:34
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » SLS, posted by Dinah on April 20, 2010, at 8:31:51
I think you are marvelous..you've given me support, food for thought and laughs along the way when we've been in chat. Maybe this is just a bump in the road and passes quickly. I'm thinking of you.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 20, 2010, at 12:30:56
In reply to your *ss should be blocked, you're an f'ing sadist » zazenducke, posted by obsidian on April 19, 2010, at 20:48:33
> you weren't quoted in the NY Times?
>
> zazenducke> have a nice day *ssh*l*
>
> obsidianPlease don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're bad people, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express oneself, including a link to a nice post by Dinah on I-statements, are in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dinah on April 20, 2010, at 16:36:43
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » Dinah, posted by Justherself54 on April 20, 2010, at 10:06:34
Thank you, jhs. I certainly have gotten those things myself, so I'm glad if I give some back in return.
Posted by kaylabear on April 20, 2010, at 21:39:23
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » Justherself54, posted by Dinah on April 20, 2010, at 16:36:43
Dinah,
You are very likeable, moreso than many people I know (referring to outside of this forum). I don't know as many people who are as articulate and helpful as you in conveying emotional experiences and related support.
IMO, you're having a shame attack triggered by a recent situation with your T, and it will subside.
Think of it this way - everyone I know feels "unlikable" from time to time. go ahead and quiz people-people who seem confident and self assured....of course only quiz people with enough integrity to be honest about it...
Keep your chin up...you're a jewel for sure. :)
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2010, at 8:05:26
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » Dinah, posted by kaylabear on April 20, 2010, at 21:39:23
Thank you, Kayla. I'll try to keep that picture in mind when the more extreme negative thoughts come up.
Now there's something that EMDR might help, if it worked for me.
Posted by Phillipa on April 21, 2010, at 10:45:25
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » kaylabear, posted by Dinah on April 21, 2010, at 8:05:26
Dinah of all the people here you are kind, compassionate, and supportive, and I think your're very sweet. I don't often read this board any more glad I did. I miss you. Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2010, at 11:02:48
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on April 21, 2010, at 10:45:25
You ought to hang out here more often. I think traffic seems to be picking up.
I feel more like myself today. More stable, more solid, and less like everything is the end of the world.
No obvious hormonal link, but who knows.
Fortunately those mood dips aren't as common as they once were. I used to melt down fairly regularly.
Posted by Phillipa on April 21, 2010, at 20:29:28
In reply to Re: Unlikeable » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on April 21, 2010, at 11:02:48
That would be great we used to have a lot of fun silly threads that lighten the day and lift mood. Love Phillipa
Posted by obsidian on April 21, 2010, at 22:24:50
In reply to Re: please be civil » zazenducke » obsidian, posted by Dr. Bob on April 20, 2010, at 12:30:56
wow, I was bitchy wan't I?
I seem to be very protective of Dinah, and I am also in a bit of a labile mood...strong combo I guessgeez...better not be around anybody too much, I might just tell them whatever comes to mind
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