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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on April 22, 2009, at 18:16:30
I just feel so alone and unsupported right now. And I have friends. I just need my husband back. We loved each other so much. I'm so sad. There are no words. I'm doing everything I can to deal with the grief, lots of therapy and grief support, but I need more. I need him. I find I am starting to isolate. I'm not reaching out and calling people like before, and they are not calling me so much. I don't know what to do. I'm just venting. I don't need suggestions; I just need support and encouragement. I can't envision the rest of my life. After he passed away, it was like I regressed back to the way I felt when I growing up. It was a very dark, bleak environment, emotionally speaking. He was love and light and happiness. I miss him. Right now I feel so hopeless. I'm really having a hard time.
Posted by Deneb on April 22, 2009, at 19:23:17
In reply to I'm having a hard time, posted by Cass on April 22, 2009, at 18:16:30
((((((((((Cass)))))))))))))
I don't think I can even imagine the pain you are in. Hang in there. I think grief gets easier to deal with as time goes on. There will be bad days, but overall it gets easier.
My only real experience with grief was losing my hamster. It was hard, I can't imagine how bad it feels to lose husband.
(((((Cass)))))
You hang in there, lots of people care about you. I'm glad you're reaching out.
Posted by Kath on April 22, 2009, at 20:07:47
In reply to I'm having a hard time, posted by Cass on April 22, 2009, at 18:16:30
Dear Cass,
I am so very sorry you're going through this dark time.
I'm glad you're talking about how you feel.
Please try to get through 1 day at a time, or as I have sometimes had to do, 1 minute at a time.
You can do is Cass. I'm sorry it's so very painful. I have never experienced something like this, so I don't know how awful it must feel.
I remember how dreadful I felt when my first husband left me. But in that case, I was VERY codependent & had very low self-esteem so it wasn't a case of mutual, wonderful love as it was with you & your dear husband.
Please let us know how it's going Cass. I'm not online every day these days, it seems. Hopefully others will be if I'm not.
Love, Kath
Posted by Dinah on April 22, 2009, at 20:11:55
In reply to I'm having a hard time, posted by Cass on April 22, 2009, at 18:16:30
I've heard that that isn't uncommon. That immediately after a loss people go to an effort to reach out, but that that drops off after time.
I'm glad you're fighting that trend, and continuing to reach out to others.
I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling.
Posted by Cass on April 22, 2009, at 23:41:19
In reply to Re: I'm having a hard time » Cass, posted by Dinah on April 22, 2009, at 20:11:55
Thanks, you guys. Your support helps, and I called a couple people today too. Not only that, I did some cleaning which makes me feel a little bit better. The animals are shedding and I could hardly see the carpet!! I just have had no motivation. I still don't know how I'm going to make it through, but I do feel a little glimmer of something positive.
Posted by Phillipa on April 22, 2009, at 23:42:23
In reply to Re: I'm having a hard time » Cass, posted by Dinah on April 22, 2009, at 20:11:55
Cass I remember what it was like when my Mother died and I was 17. Used to smell her clothes in the closet. It's hard. Love Phillipa
Posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 16:25:14
In reply to I'm having a hard time, posted by Cass on April 22, 2009, at 18:16:30
Please hang in there Cass. I lost my mom when I was 12, my daughter's best friend in a car accident. I quit going to church, gave up, and turned to booze.
In spite of what I've been through, I can't imagine your loss. Losing a loving spouse isn't something I know about.
I used to rock back and forth, trying to get through one more day.
I'm really sorry for your loss, and not to minimize what you're going through, your perspective will change and hopely brighten over time.
I'm up to my neck in the mud and not sure I should be giving advice. Heart goes out to you.
Verne
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