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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 18 to 42 of 42. Go back in thread:
Posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 8:49:40
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update, posted by no_rose_garden on October 18, 2008, at 19:29:53
Thanks you guys, your support is greatly appreciated. I may not be completely out of the woods, I'm still in my 90 day trial period, so I'm going to try to keep up the momentum I believe I've been maintaining. However, according to my T, I'm also supposed to be making a change and standing up for myself with this job. So I'm trying to do that too.
I witnessed one thing this past week that was kind of eye opening. One of the guys had been working on a job and the customer was being completely unreasonable. They had already gone past the point where they were losing money on the job rather than making it. So the boss comes in and is all yelling about it and being rude like he was to me that one time. Then the boss, thinking he was going to start telling my coworker what to do, he said, "What are you doing right now?" (meaning what is he working on). My coworker, who is this very passive hippy type dude, said without hesitation, "Going home" (it was well past our 8 hours and he had plans to go out for dinner for his birthday). But I was just so stunned that he said that! The boss said, "Well, I guess I'll just have to do it myself!" and stormed out. The surprising thing was, the next day, boss man was being all nice to this same dude and talking rationally about the job. I was just like, whoa, you really can stand up to the boss without the world ending! I made sure the tell my coworker, "You the man! You'll have to teach me how to do that!"
-T
Posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 13:44:16
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update, posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 8:49:40
Wow TC - It's just another example of the formula for dealing with bullies I guess...
Bully is bullying... victim allows bullying ... bullying continues
OR
Bully is bullying... victim stands up for self/is assertive... bully backs off
I don't know if this is always true, but I certainly know that sometimes it is.
I didn't know that the boss had yelled at you. I guess I missed that post; sorry.
This event re boss yelling; hippie being assertive; the world not ending/hippie not getting fired or treated badly - this is VERY good for you to have witnessed isn't it!
Thx for letting us know.
hugs, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 16:16:28
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update » TexasChic, posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 13:44:16
I might have just thought I told about it. I guess saying he was yelling is not really true, its more like just really hateful talking. There was this job I was working on where the customer didn't include the font I needed, so I sent it back to the sales person to contact the customer for it. Apparently the customer went all crazy and yelled at them saying that job didn't even have that font. Then this guy who they hired to do some freelance work did the job that evening without the font. So boss man said that made us look really foolish, asking for a font we didn't need. I finally figured out the freelance guy had substituted a font, which is really risky. This was a job that didn't require a proof before printing out several big posters, so they were just lucky the substituted font worked out. I tried to explain this to him, but he just kept on talking about looking foolish. Its like he was having a temper tantrum or something. After he left, the other new guy, who was the only other person there at the time said, "Damn, he's REALLY a dick sometimes!" (He doesn't hold back on his opinions). I was glad to know it wasn't just me thinking it!
But boss man has been okay since then. I'll just have to make sure I stand my ground with him and not let him intimidate me. BTW, he's the one I had to call in and tell I needed to take the day off to handle a personal emergency!
-T
Posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 18:28:13
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update, posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 16:16:28
>Its like he was having a temper tantrum or something. After he left, the other new guy, who was the only other person there at the time said, "Damn, he's REALLY a dick sometimes!" (He doesn't hold back on his opinions). I was glad to know it wasn't just me thinking it!
~ ~ ~ Good that the other guy was there AND said that!!! Validating for you ~ ~ ~
> But boss man has been okay since then. I'll just have to make sure I stand my ground with him and not let him intimidate me.~ ~ ~ I'm really glad he's been okay since then. Also, it sounds like he DOES throw tantrums & that that's the way to take them! Just as tantrums & know that the next day (or maybe even later the same day) he'll be "over it". Pretty important information for you. I suspect you're like me - others' anger & rage & upsets really throw me. ~ ~ ~
> BTW, he's the one I had to call in and tell I needed to take the day off to handle a personal emergency!
~ ~ ~ Oh BOY! Is he the one you phoned back & asked if you were in trouble? I think that was someone else, right?
I think the tantrum-guy falls into the category of people who I find this method helpful:
I have a part of my mind that knows that THEY TOO go to the bathroom, & sweat, & blow their nose, & have wake-up-hair & sometimes bad breath!!! If necessary, to put things in perspective, during a tantrum, one could always imagine he's standing there in his bare feet because he forgot to put his shoes & socks on, or perhaps that he has mustard spilled all down the front of his shirt & doesn't know it - or if you need to get extreme, that, being forgetful, he's standing there in his shirt, underwear, socks & shoes!! LOLHugs to ya TC. xoxox Kath
Posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 19:39:19
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update » TexasChic, posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 18:28:13
Hee, hee! Good advice!
But yeah, that was a different guy I had to call back - that was my supervisor. Something funny happened with him the other day. You know that 23 year old I told you about that seems to have a crush on me (he's the kinda cute one, the REALLY cute one is 22), well he and the guys I work with are always constantly making fun of each other, and its usually pretty hilarious. Ever since I started, 23 year old guy has been talking about supervisor guy being old. For instance, one day he didn't want to stay late because he was going out, and he was telling the supervisor, "Come on, try to remember what it was like when you were my age, you know, 20 years ago"? Everybody, including supervisor guy fell out laughing. So somewhere along the line I just came to assume he was in his 40's. The fact is, he's really one of those people that doesn't look young or old: shaved head, long goatee, kind of biker looking dude. So the other day, 23 year old guy was as usual, ragging on supervisor guy about how old he was, and I said, "Now come on, he can't be that much older than me, so when you make fun of him you're making fun of me too!" And 23 year old guy asked how old I thought supervisor guy was, and I said, I don't know, a couple of years older than me? Then supervisor guy asks how old I am, and I say 38...
23 year old guy falls out laughing! Turns out supervisor guy is 34, 4 years younger than me, and about 10 years younger than I was thinking! Everybody died laughing but I was really embarrassed.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on October 19, 2008, at 19:44:57
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update » TexasChic, posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 18:28:13
Picture him naked it's even better. Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 20:51:36
In reply to And something funny that happened, posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 19:39:19
Oh how embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Lucky you didn't make a statement that would have been even worse!!!!!!!!! LOLSounds like you guys have some fun. That's great.
Is supervisor guy nice?
xo Kath
Posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 20:52:58
In reply to Re: Thanks - and an update » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 19, 2008, at 19:44:57
LOL - okay! you're even ruder than I am!
LOL
hugs, Kath
I was going to mention snot hanging from nostril, but whatever!
Posted by TexasChic on October 20, 2008, at 18:10:40
In reply to And something funny that happened, posted by TexasChic on October 19, 2008, at 19:39:19
Same old thing, the perception of me rather than my actual work. They said they noticed me shaking and thought I was really nervous about the work (people always comment on me shaking, I don't even know I'm doing it). And because I seemed uncertain when asked a question - and a few other things that were directly ADD related. And then some other stupid things that weren't my fault (that whole font thing for one). It didn't help for me to explain all this, their minds were made up.
The guys were completely stunned. I'm talking mouths hanging open in disbelief. They all seemed to think I was doing okay. They also worked with me and knew that I was knowledgeable (I showed them more than a few things they didn't know how to do).
The only good thing is I got a really big check, and they gave me some referrals. They said they thought I was a good employee, but it was just too stressful an environment for me. I just don't know what to do anymore. How can a person work so hard and be acknowledged by their peers as extremely good at the job, but still keep getting this same reaction from management? Am I unemployable? Are my disabilities keeping me from being able to hold down a job? I just don't know right now.
Anyway, I'm okay, just really bummed. The big check helped - at least I have a little bit of cushion to look for a new job (I'm talking a couple of weeks as opposed to a couple of days. And I will check out those referrals (they said they would give me a recommendation). But I'm so sick of it all right now. I don't know how much more my confidence can take.
I wish I could work freelance, then I could work from home and nobody could see me shaking or think I'm spacey and slow cause of the ADD. But I don't know how to get started - you have to have a customer base. If anyone has any advice in that area, let me know.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on October 20, 2008, at 19:06:17
In reply to Bad news, got let go, posted by TexasChic on October 20, 2008, at 18:10:40
T I'm really sorry didn't think that would happen. Sorry don't know that line of work other than posting on ebay. Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 7:57:20
In reply to Re: Bad news, got let go » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on October 20, 2008, at 19:06:17
Thanks Phillipa. Obviously, I didn't think that was going to happen either. Apparently they were going to do it Friday but then I didn't come in. I'm just so tired of this. I try SO HARD, I work SO HARD, I know I'm an intelligent person and I have talent. All I want to do is be able to support myself. But yet, here I am again.
Oh well, to not try would be worse, so I guess I'll keep trying. What else can I do?
-T
Posted by Poet on October 21, 2008, at 17:08:40
In reply to Bad news, got let go, posted by TexasChic on October 20, 2008, at 18:10:40
Hi Texaschic,
Unfortunately I have been that great employee who for no good reason just didn't fit in and either was let go or forced to quit. I truly feel for you and I think it's a great idea to take a break before you start job hunting and contacting those referrals.
About the only thing I know about being successful at freelance work is you have to really market yourself. Be willing to go out and drum up business. This is something I am horrid at, thus Poet the failed realtor, so no help her on how to market yourself- sorry.
I wish someone would recognize your good qualities and stop worrying about your shaking hands.
Take care.
Poet
Posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 17:21:41
In reply to Re: Bad news, got let go » TexasChic, posted by Poet on October 21, 2008, at 17:08:40
Thanks Poet, I know you're a fellow commiserator when it comes to employment woes. I really appreciate your words of encouragement.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 17:35:01
In reply to Re: Bad news, got let go » Poet, posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 17:21:41
Can you believe that? Its a place I applied to after I came home last night all upset. In fact, I came across it when I was on the phone with my Mom telling her I'd been let go. She thought it sounded really good because its a lot closer to where my family lives than I am now. I've liked having some distance from them because they are so disfunctional, but being SO far away makes it hard when I do go visit or pick up my nephew to come stay with me. So who knows, maybe it was meant to be.
So wish me luck! Whether I get it or not, I think its a good sign. Its certainly encouraging anyway!
-T
Posted by Phillipa on October 21, 2008, at 18:46:40
In reply to Good news, interview tomorrow!!!, posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 17:35:01
T the best of luck and please post the outcome. Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on October 21, 2008, at 20:07:57
In reply to Good news, interview tomorrow!!!, posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 17:35:01
Wow - look what can happen if one is away from here for a coupla days.....here you get let go & have a new interview all before I get back!
So sorry about the first job.
If it were me, once I got the next job, I think I'd mention - don't know quite when, or quite to whom, but I'd definitely mention your hands shaking. I'd try to figure out a good way of describing it. Hmmm - not sure how. But I would definitely point out, maybe while talking about how much you enjoy this type of work, that you want to let them know ahead of time that you're quite comfortable with having to work to deadlines - that your hands do tend to shake slightly sometimes, and it has nothing to do with being nervous. Something along those lines. Maybe someone else will have a good way to word it if you decide to mention it.
I think it's one of those things to get out of the way near the first (but AFTER you get the job!).
Best of luck. I am so glad that you got an interview so quickly.
I send biggie hugs, love, kath oops - small 'k' NOT intended - wouldn't want kk to get any mistaken ideas of grandeur!!! LOL
hugs, Kath.
Posted by Poet on October 22, 2008, at 8:32:51
In reply to Good news, interview tomorrow!!!, posted by TexasChic on October 21, 2008, at 17:35:01
Good vibes and luck are coming your way. Right now they are surrounding you.
Poet
Posted by Kath on October 22, 2008, at 10:55:59
In reply to Re: Good news, interview tomorrow!!! » TexasChic, posted by Poet on October 22, 2008, at 8:32:51
Posted by TexasChic on October 22, 2008, at 17:14:50
In reply to Re: Good news, interview tomorrow!!! » TexasChic, posted by Poet on October 22, 2008, at 8:32:51
Must have been all those good vibes! I could tell I'm definitely in the running. They kept saying I had everything they were looking for. I really liked the place, and the job would be great - getting a chance to learn some things I don't know in web and video and photography. That's just what I've been looking for. They're supposed to let me know something by the end of the week. So we'll see!
-T
Posted by Angela2 on October 22, 2008, at 17:25:10
In reply to Interview went very well!, posted by TexasChic on October 22, 2008, at 17:14:50
Good luck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Posted by TexasChic on October 22, 2008, at 18:14:42
In reply to Re: Interview went very well!, posted by Angela2 on October 22, 2008, at 17:25:10
Thanks! This has been a crazy few days. Just goes to show you never know what's around the corner!
-T
Posted by Kath on October 22, 2008, at 18:29:48
In reply to Re: Interview went very well! » Angela2, posted by TexasChic on October 22, 2008, at 18:14:42
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you also. Sounds very hopeful.
(((((((((you)))))))
Posted by Phillipa on October 22, 2008, at 19:24:30
In reply to Very nice news TC, posted by Kath on October 22, 2008, at 18:29:48
T me too. Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on October 22, 2008, at 19:52:11
In reply to Re: Very nice news TC » Kath, posted by Phillipa on October 22, 2008, at 19:24:30
Thanks you guys! I feel very good about it, but I know it still could go either way. I believe the guy that was the head graphic artist felt I was the best (he's the one who said I have experience in everything they were looking for), but he didn't seem to know how the higher ups would go. He said he wish he could tell me more, but ultimately it wasn't really up to him. I spoke to the sales manager for about 5 minutes. There was a lot of joking around and laughing (by him!), but I tried to sell myself. He asked if I was easily offended. I said, "Are you talking about when someone looks at your work and says, 'No, no, no! That's not what I was looking for at all! Start all over!' because that's just the nature of the the business". And he said, yes, that's what I was talking about. So hopefully that went over well. The rest had to do with why I left this job or that, which I believe I handled fairly well. But someone else may have been more impressive, so we'll just have to see what happens! Thanks for the support!
-T
Posted by Kath on October 22, 2008, at 20:44:41
In reply to Re: Very nice news TC, posted by TexasChic on October 22, 2008, at 19:52:11
Deat TC,
Sounds like you did a great job!!
luv, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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