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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
I have zero respect for my mother. She is just lazy, she is not ill.
She uses her bipolar disorder as an excuse to get out of anything she doesn't want to do.
All she wants is to lie around and pop pills. She has no ability to solve her own problems anymore, she just thinks in terms of the next pill to escape.
She is the embodiment of all that I hate and despise about humankind.
She doesn't think of anybody but herself. She has the energy to go swimming and visit friends, yet when it comes to doing anything around the house she is "too ill".
She is a liar, and I hate her. She is so self absorbed that she cannot see how hard her husband works and how little she does.
She is taking like 8 different drugs, yet still wants more. She increases doses of drugs without asking her doctor, and has absolutely no desire to recover. She likes being ill, as it is a get out of life free card for her.
I think she is a waste of space and I want to tell it to her face but I could no longer live at home if I did such a thing.
Sorry for the rant, but I cannot take it anymore.
Linkadge
Posted by Racer on June 25, 2007, at 17:55:50
In reply to I hate my mother, posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
It's funny, Link, because my T and I were talking about something related to my reaction to this last session. My first reaction is to defend your mother, try to "get you to see how sad it is..." etc.
And yet, my ultimate goal would be reconciling the two of you so that you -- Linkadge, whom I've 'known' for some time -- could be happier, or more at peace.
So, with that explanation of my emotional response to your post, I'm gonna try something new: skipping that whole middle part!
Link, I'm very sorry that things are bad for you, and that you're feeling this way about your mother. It must be pretty frustrating to live with her, in that situation. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I really hope that things improve for you soon.
How was that? ;-)
And I do feel horrible for you -- the more so, because one of my problems right now is that I feel horrible about how little I'm doing around here these days. So, I feel guilty about that, and kinda cringe when I read that -- even though I think I know that it's different... I am, after all, trying to improve...
Posted by Klavot on June 25, 2007, at 17:59:38
In reply to I hate my mother, posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
I don't per se hate my mother. But it has reached a point where I feel she is no longer good for my mental health, and I have had to force myself to start switching off to her and treat her like a stranger. I can no longer allow her inside my zone. Her behaviour simply causes me too much pain. I love my "real" mother, but when she turns into "that woman" I just cannot handle it.
Klavot
Posted by Klavot on June 25, 2007, at 18:11:38
In reply to Join the club, posted by Klavot on June 25, 2007, at 17:59:38
Basically, both my parents are alcoholics, and at some level, I hate them for it. That is why I don't drink at all. And it infuriates me the way they rationalise their drinking. When I say to my mother "Mother, you've got a problem," she responds "Ah, you're such a prude, just get a life." When I say to my father "Father, you've got a problem," he responds "No, see, I don't drink on Mondays and Thursdays, to give my liver time to recover, so everything's OK." He's so clueless, he seems to think alcohol is just about your liver. My mom has had THREE concussions over the years from injuring herself under the influence of alcohol. She's forgotten to fetch me from school due to alcohol. And that's not just something that I can forgive and forget.
Klavot
Posted by Tabitha on June 25, 2007, at 23:16:32
In reply to I hate my mother, posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
She sounds like a great example of what not to do. If you can resolve to *not* be like that you'll come out ahead.
Posted by polarbear206 on June 26, 2007, at 11:30:10
In reply to I hate my mother, posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
> I have zero respect for my mother. She is just lazy, she is not ill.
I would put more blame on the drugs, then her.>
> She uses her bipolar disorder as an excuse to get out of anything she doesn't want to do.
>
> All she wants is to lie around and pop pills. She has no ability to solve her own problems anymore, she just thinks in terms of the next pill to escape.
>
> She is the embodiment of all that I hate and despise about humankind.
>
> She doesn't think of anybody but herself. She has the energy to go swimming and visit friends, yet when it comes to doing anything around the house she is "too ill".
>
> She is a liar, and I hate her. She is so self absorbed that she cannot see how hard her husband works and how little she does.
>
> She is taking like 8 different drugs, yet still wants more. She increases doses of drugs without asking her doctor, and has absolutely no desire to recover. She likes being ill, as it is a get out of life free card for her.Yikes! Polypharmacy, not a good thing. Shame on her p-doc for allowing this.
I would accompany her to her appointments, or write him a letter and tell him how you feel. It's obvious she is not being upfront with him.
> I think she is a waste of space and I want to tell it to her face but I could no longer live at home if I did such a thing.
This kind of toxic enviroment is not good. Can't you hold a job down? Live with a relative or a friend? Maybe that would be a wake up call for her if she is dependent on you.
>
> Sorry for the rant, but I cannot take it anymore.
>
> Linkadge
>
>
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on June 26, 2007, at 12:15:12
In reply to Re: I hate my mother » linkadge, posted by polarbear206 on June 26, 2007, at 11:30:10
Link could it be that she is addicted and needs help medical in getting over the addiction? Love Phillipa
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 26, 2007, at 16:12:41
In reply to I hate my mother, posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
Hey Link,
I'm so sorry that your mom is like that. Was it always that way, or are you just getting smarter and able to see things in a different light?Sounds like you've learned a lot about life and about yourself, per negative example.
I wish she could be a more inspirational and emotionally available parent for you. Are you and your dad close? Sometimes, the hardest thing to do as an adult is to decide when one's parents no longer merit inclusion in one's life, or at least one's mental space.
If only it were easy to sweep away all the memories of when mom disappointed.
Posted by linkadge on June 27, 2007, at 9:29:18
In reply to Re: I hate my mother » linkadge, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on June 26, 2007, at 16:12:41
I have respect for my dad. He works hard and asks nothing in return. My mother is like a pathetic child faking an illness to stay home from school, whereby every time the mention of school comes up, her illness takes a mysterious turn for the worse.
It just bothers me the way she treats my father.
Every time she feels quilty she pops pills to quell the guilt. So she's taking pills to remove the guilt about taking pills.
Man she's messed up!
Linkadge
Posted by Nathan_Arizona on June 27, 2007, at 11:05:49
In reply to I hate my mother, posted by linkadge on June 25, 2007, at 17:48:47
My mother has bipolar disorder too. She lost her job, she's put us in the poorhouse more than once and she goes on these violent rages that just destroy all those around her.
It's really hard. Really really hard.
When she is bad, I don't (and never did) have a mom. Sometimes though she is good (especially with lamictal), which just make the bad times worse.
It's frustrating, and while everyone's experience is different, i do have an inkling of understanding of how you feel.
We are supposed to understand it's an illness. If only it were that easy.
This is the end of the thread.
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