Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 14:10:48
That I don't find myself crying. I am broken beyond reason, and it is all I can do to stick around. I have NOTHING. My future is nothing more than my present, which is heartbreakingly intolerable.
I have no answers. I have no hope. I am tired.
Sandy
Posted by Deneb on October 2, 2006, at 15:17:52
In reply to Not One Day Goes By.........., posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 14:10:48
((((((((((((((Sandy))))))))))))))))
You are not broken beyond reason. You're just having a hard time right now. No one is broken beyond reason.
You don't have nothing. Everyone has something. You have something very precious. You have children right?
It's just a temporary set back Sandy. You will feel better again.
(((((((((((Sandy))))))))))))
Deneb*
Posted by ClearSkies on October 2, 2006, at 16:30:12
In reply to Not One Day Goes By.........., posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 14:10:48
((((SandyWeb)))))
What's going on, friend?
Posted by gardenergirl on October 2, 2006, at 17:36:12
In reply to Not One Day Goes By.........., posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 14:10:48
Hi Sandy,
Emotional pain is so exhausting. Such an everyday battle, as you describe. I hope you find some respite here or wherever suits you best.It's nice to see your name pop up on the boards.
Take care,
gg
Posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 19:47:12
In reply to Re: Not One Day Goes By.......... » SandyWeb, posted by gardenergirl on October 2, 2006, at 17:36:12
My son moved out 6 months ago to live with his girlfriend. My daughter attends "boarding school", so I only see her for a weekend every couple of months.
I am alone in a 2-bedroom apartment, and I can't even find the strength to sit out on my private balcony.
Even with Ativan and my little cocktail of meds, I can't get out of the apartment. I can't see a therapist. I have trapped myself within my own four walls.
My day consists of geting up (sometimes), and going back and forth between the computer and reading a book. Day after day after day.......this is my life.
It is purposeless, it is a waste, and it will not be changing simply because I've come to the end of options. THIS IS IT. And to me, this life is intolerable. I can't even answer the phone, for goodness sakes.
I miss my daughter so much that I wrap myself up in a comforter and just cry and cry and cry.
I cried for my son when he first left, but he's just about ready to turn 18 now...and we still see each other. He's a good boy.
I have thought a lot about "you know what". I am so sad because I had a very eventful past, but now my empty present is also what my future will be. And if I died, right here and now, no one would even know......until they started smelling me. I'm just saying that my usefulness is over. I can't even leave my apartment. I have no worth.
It doesn't matter. I'm just rambling. I'm lonely, I'm heartbroken, I'm ashamed for being so worthless, and I'm so sorry God. I'm so sorry, God.
Just tired. Guess I should go to bed. Sorry about the ramblings.
Sandy
Posted by Phillipa on October 2, 2006, at 21:43:58
In reply to Re: Not One Day Goes By.........., posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 19:47:12
Sandy believe me I am going through almost the samething as you. It's horrible. I just keep going and hoping and trying to make things better. One thing I do that helps is force myself to ride my bike daily. Get out of the house. I know how you're suffering. My babblemail is always open to you. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on October 3, 2006, at 19:53:56
In reply to Re: Not One Day Goes By.........., posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 19:47:12
((((((((((((((((SandyWeb))))))))))))))))
I'm not sure what to say but I just wanted to comfort you a bit. I know I can never get enough hugs when I'm upset.
Deneb*
Posted by ClearSkies on October 5, 2006, at 19:28:58
In reply to Re: Not One Day Goes By.........., posted by SandyWeb on October 2, 2006, at 19:47:12
Posted by SandyWeb on October 7, 2006, at 13:54:25
In reply to Sandy, how are you today? (nm), posted by ClearSkies on October 5, 2006, at 19:28:58
I'm doing better. I actually had to play around with my meds to find something that would stop the suicidal urges. I was getting so close to slicing my wrist again, and I needed help immediately. Interestingly enough, I found that an increase in my Seroquel dose put an end to those STRONG urges. I only increased it from 100mg to 300mg, but it seems to be working its magic on the suicidal tendancies.
Thanks for your concern!
Sandy
Posted by ClearSkies on October 7, 2006, at 20:04:23
In reply to Re: Sandy, how are you today? » ClearSkies, posted by SandyWeb on October 7, 2006, at 13:54:25
Thanks for letting us know, Sandy. I hope this adjustment works for you!
CS
Posted by Phillipa on October 7, 2006, at 20:38:07
In reply to Re: Sandy, how are you today? » SandyWeb, posted by ClearSkies on October 7, 2006, at 20:04:23
Does seroquel really help? Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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