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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 0:19:28
Sorry about going on and on about it, but I just have to say something else about the Babble trip. It doesn't feel like it really happened. I feel exactly like I always do, nothing has changed for me. I look at the picture at the top of the page and I don't feel like it has anything to do with me at all.
Somehow, being on Babble feels more real than the Babble trip, if that's possible. Does anyone else feel this way? It's really bizarre. I feel just as close to the Babblers I haven't met as the Babblers I have met. I don't think the trip really changed anything significant for me. Or maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet?? I dunno. This whole experience has been surreal. I really don't know who the heck I am anymore. Am I shy or what? I'm shy, yet bold?? I dunno.
Larry was exactly as I had imagined him, not just physically, in every way. I recognized him right away when I met him. Larry is really Larry in real life. He really is.
Dr. Bob surprised me just a little. He talks more in real life. LOL Dr. Bob doesn't talk about himself, he mostly adds comments to others' conversations. Dr. Bob is a pretty cool guy. I don't think a lot of things rattle him. He was able to stay collected even while I asked for hugs and professed my love for him. Dr. Bob makes it seem like those sorts of things happen to him everyday, like it's no big deal. I think it's really quite amazing how he can do that.
10derHeart, Poet, AuntieMel, Pseudoname, Canadagirl and Fallsfall all surprised me in different ways. They are all very kind, thoughtful and sincere people.
One thing that really struck me on the trip was that the Babblers I met really are who they say they are. We're for real. I think most online relationships are for real now. When I love Dr. Bob in the online world, it really does transfer over to the real world. When someone is worried about me online, they really are worried about me in real life. People are posting and being real everyday. I hope I can finally get it through my head that posters are real people.
I really hope now that I've met Dr. Bob and others that my acting out will decrease. I hope I will never send threatening e-mails to Dr. Bob again. He's not just some administrator who absorbs everything and never flinches. He's a real person. Dr. Bob is pretty stable, (at least he seems that way), but he's still only human. But...he really does seem to have things together. LOL I didn't faze him one bit. Seriously, what would you say to a person professing her/his love for you when they've only just met you?
LOL, I always seem to end up writing about Dr. Bob somehow. Good golly, am I obsessed or what? No, maybe fascinated is a better word. I'm just extremely fascinated by him. LOL
Deneb*
Posted by Phil on May 26, 2006, at 6:20:44
In reply to Sorry about going on and on about it, posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 0:19:28
Seriously, what would you say to a person professing her/his love for you when they've only just met you?
___
Deneb,I would say thank you, I'm flattered. Then I'd walk away. I would expect that response if I did that to someone. Matter of fact, I probably have done that at some time in my life. I was actually afraid to love so I went after the impossible or I was in love with wanting to be in love.
What would you do if someone approached you and started professing their love for you? Would you feel that it would be the start of a 'healthy' relationship? They wouldn't know if you had a husband and two kids waiting in the car.
Hope this makes sense. I'm not trying to be hurtful.Phil
Posted by pseudoname on May 26, 2006, at 10:31:28
In reply to Sorry about going on and on about it, posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 0:19:28
Deneb, I’m so glad you’re posting a lot about the trip. I can’t get all my own thoughts & feelings about it out well enough. I can’t convey enough about what it meant to me and what I still think it’s doing. So I am *very* glad that you are still posting about it because that’s helpful to me. Otherwise I would think my persistent thoughts & feelings were just an overreaction and I should “move on”.
Did you ever go to summer camp as a teen? I remember that after about a week, everyone said they felt like they had never lived anywhere else, that camp had been their whole lives.
And after 2 weeks, you’d have a moment where it was like camp was just a foreign blip, and your real life was elsewhere, and camp was imaginary.
Weird. But everyone seemed to report having the same perspective changes at about the same time.
‘This American Life’ had an episode about summer camp, and a lot of adults look back on camp as still the purest, most authentic experience of their lives. I never had that at camp (not at all), but I think Toronto maybe had some parallels to that for you? Maybe not.
People were a little different than I expected, but also very much like their online selves. Except you are much shyer in real life. So I'm glad I knew you a little through Babble first.
I think it was different because people were so, so, relaxed & honest when we met, because we'd all been so exposed on Babble. That's a lot different than any other real-life get-togethers.
Posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 21:38:40
In reply to Re: on and on about it » Deneb, posted by pseudoname on May 26, 2006, at 10:31:28
Deneb I think it's very important that you know Dr. Bob is a real person with real feelings for others. But I also think you need to interract with more people IRL. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 23:36:52
In reply to Re: Sorry about going on and on about it » Deneb, posted by Phil on May 26, 2006, at 6:20:44
Hi Phil
I'm not too sure what you mean, but I think you are saying that Dr. Bob shouldn't accept my love?
I don't think I need Dr. Bob to accept my love. I mean, he didn't accept my scarf and I was okay with that... I just need to know that it's okay for *me* to love him. I surely don't expect him to love me back. I'm just glad he doesn't mind that I love him.
I find it interesting that you would go after the impossible love because you were afraid to love. Maybe that's happening with me. I'm afraid of real relationships. I'm not very good at them.
If someone just approached me out of the blue and said she/he loved me, I think I might be curious about it. I don't think it would be the start of any real relationship. I think I might be a little flattered and I think I might worry a little about hurting the other person's feelings because I don't share the love she/he feels.
Dr. Bob won't hurt me by not loving me back. I don't expect a real relationship with Dr. Bob. I wouldn't want a relationship. I just want to love him and for him to not mind and that's exactly what is happening. Everything is perfect just as it is. :-) I think maybe I like that Dr. Bob isn't even my friend. Friendships can get complicated. My Bob love is simple.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 23:56:27
In reply to Re: on and on about it » Deneb, posted by pseudoname on May 26, 2006, at 10:31:28
> So I am *very* glad that you are still posting about it because that’s helpful to me. Otherwise I would think my persistent thoughts & feelings were just an overreaction and I should “move on”.
I'm glad I help. :-)
>
> Did you ever go to summer camp as a teen? I remember that after about a week, everyone said they felt like they had never lived anywhere else, that camp had been their whole lives.No, I've never been to summer camp.
I feel like I've been on Babble my entire life. LOL Yes, it feels that long, even though it's only been 14 months for me.
> And after 2 weeks, you’d have a moment where it was like camp was just a foreign blip, and your real life was elsewhere, and camp was imaginary.
Yes, that's exactly how I feel about the Babble trip. It feels imaginary...like it was all in my head. I'm back home and everything is just like it was before the trip.
I don't think I really left "Babble mode" the whole time I was on the trip. I posted everyday during my trip. It was strange, Babblers were right in front of me, but at times, they felt more real to me on the boards. Reading what they say seemed more natural to me than hearing what they say. I wasn't able to be Deneb completely in real life. A big part of me was missing in real life. I realized that meeting Babblers was terrific, but it wasn't enough. I *need* the boards. In many ways they are better than real life friends for me.
> ‘This American Life’ had an episode about summer camp, and a lot of adults look back on camp as still the purest, most authentic experience of their lives. I never had that at camp (not at all), but I think Toronto maybe had some parallels to that for you? Maybe not.
Yes, I think you are right. I'm not sure I was totally authentic. As I said before, I felt like a big part of me was missing in real life.
> People were a little different than I expected, but also very much like their online selves. Except you are much shyer in real life. So I'm glad I knew you a little through Babble first.
It's strange, but even though I've seen Babblers in real life, I still get into the habit of imagining them the way I did before I met them. I have to remind myself of how they really are in real life. I'm glad that I knew Babblers through Babble first too. I would have been intimidated otherwise. It was really good to know how Babblers think.
> I think it was different because people were so, so, relaxed & honest when we met, because we'd all been so exposed on Babble. That's a lot different than any other real-life get-togethers.
Yes, definitely. I liked that we all knew of each others' problems and weaknesses beforehand. With other people, I feel like I must hide my vulnerabilities and eccentricities. I liked being able to show vulnerabilities and eccentricities and know that people won't laugh at me or attack me.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on May 26, 2006, at 23:57:48
In reply to Re: on and on about it, posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2006, at 21:38:40
> Deneb I think it's very important that you know Dr. Bob is a real person with real feelings for others. But I also think you need to interract with more people IRL. Love Phillipa
I think I need to interract with more people IRL too. The Babble trip was good practice, I think.
Deneb*
This is the end of the thread.
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