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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay on April 28, 2006, at 20:19:50
Well, I signed up for not one, but two online webdate services. I talked to a few women, and then focused in on a few who seemed interested. One of them just kind of "vanished"...but it is really the other one I am a bit scared about. She is a school teacher, self-reliant and all that, and seemed to really enjoy talking with me. We always message each other really quickly..or asap. We've seen each other in pictures. Now, tonight is Friday. She didn't write back yet...but that is ok...she has a life to live. I feel really pathetic, sitting here on a Friday night, nowhere to go, and have to be at work by 11:00p.m. I am writting this from my dingy little bedroom in my parent's house. She just bought a condo, and is having a 'housewarming' party tonight. I have MAYBE ONE friend (who I see once a year)to do something like that with..and that is stretching it. It's going to take me years to buy my own house...heck to even own a car...and it's like...how am I supposed to keep up with that? Will she just not care and ignore it...or think.."What a GEEK and LOSER!".
Ohh boyyyyy...if anybody has something to say...I'd really appreciate it. I am so damn tired of being a hermit. "What is the meaning of this...???".
A very humble..
Jay
Posted by madeline on April 28, 2006, at 20:39:37
In reply to Jay's Online adventure..The Reality comm. please, posted by Jay on April 28, 2006, at 20:19:50
that you have to be there at 11:00 pm?
Posted by Phillipa on April 28, 2006, at 21:58:08
In reply to Where do you work? » Jay, posted by madeline on April 28, 2006, at 20:39:37
Working night shift may be one of your problems meeting women unless it's in a bar or club. Love Phillipa
Posted by Jay on April 29, 2006, at 7:32:47
In reply to Where do you work? » Jay, posted by madeline on April 28, 2006, at 20:39:37
> that you have to be there at 11:00 pm?
I work in a group home. Shift work is mandatory.
Best,
Jay
Posted by Jay on April 29, 2006, at 7:35:48
In reply to Re: Where do you work?, posted by Phillipa on April 28, 2006, at 21:58:08
> Working night shift may be one of your problems meeting women unless it's in a bar or club. Love Phillipa
>
>Yep...I know Phillipa...it's just it is a great job that pays well and has all the perks. In a few years I will be management and work straight days.
Thanks for your thoughts,
Jay
Posted by Tabitha on April 29, 2006, at 12:26:03
In reply to Re: Where do you work? » Phillipa, posted by Jay on April 29, 2006, at 7:35:48
Jay, now that you have a good job, is it time to focus on getting your own car and apartment? I think that might help your love life.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on April 29, 2006, at 13:22:46
In reply to Jay's Online adventure..The Reality comm. please, posted by Jay on April 28, 2006, at 20:19:50
Hey Jay,
>It's going to take me years to buy my own house...heck to even own a car...and it's like...how am I supposed to keep up with that? Will she just not care and ignore it...or think.."What a GEEK and LOSER!".
Nah, I don't so! And if a gal does think that, then thats a pretty materialistic point of view, don't ya reckon? She's got to like *you* no matter if you don't own a house or a car!! I think its about personality not anything materilistic.
Posted by Jay on April 29, 2006, at 15:23:41
In reply to Re: Where do you work?, posted by Tabitha on April 29, 2006, at 12:26:03
> Jay, now that you have a good job, is it time to focus on getting your own car and apartment? I think that might help your love life.
>
Hi Tabitha:Thanks for responding. It's the cost of education, and the fact I only work part-time that keeps me stuck at home. Plus I gotta pay for 6 medications. There are always openings for full-time jobs where I work, that I fully intend on pursuing once I'm done university. I'm just kinda 'in that spot' for the moment being. I dunno...I could work full-time and just go to school part-time, but my university degree is what will give me the ULTRA good wage and position. Ohhh geezz...I just don't know.
Thanks...and take care,
Jay
Posted by Jay on April 29, 2006, at 15:29:03
In reply to Re: Jay's Online adventure..The Reality comm. please » Jay, posted by Meri-Tuuli on April 29, 2006, at 13:22:46
> Hey Jay,
>
> >It's going to take me years to buy my own house...heck to even own a car...and it's like...how am I supposed to keep up with that? Will she just not care and ignore it...or think.."What a GEEK and LOSER!".
>
> Nah, I don't so! And if a gal does think that, then thats a pretty materialistic point of view, don't ya reckon? She's got to like *you* no matter if you don't own a house or a car!! I think its about personality not anything materilistic.
>
>Hi Meri:
Well..it just doesn't feel right. And the last time I mentioned, eventually, to someone I met online I was living at home, they split right away! So....I dunno...I will eventually get around to it...I guess.
Thanks for your kind comments,
Jay
Posted by Racer on April 30, 2006, at 17:01:59
In reply to Re: Job, car, apartment,, » Tabitha, posted by Jay on April 29, 2006, at 15:23:41
>> It's the cost of education, and the fact I only work part-time that keeps me stuck at home.
Jay, I don't know how old you are, and I don't know anything about your history, etc, that would help me form a stronger picture of you, BUT from what you've written right here, I'd say that that's a good reason for living at home. And that it's a sign of good judgement, and wise decision making, and all sorts of Good Things, things I'd want to see in a man I was considering dating.
Mind you, if you're 50 years old, living in your parents basement, and studying for a degree in basketweaving, that might be a different story... ;-) Otherwise, just tell the truth: "I live at my parents, because my priority right now is to finish my degree. I could work full time and go to school part time, but that doesn't seem like a good decision for me to make."
I'm not saying that I wouldn't be put off by hearing that someone lived at home, by the way. I'm only saying that I would hear your explanation as making sense, and that it would strongly influence how I reacted to hearing that you lived with your parents. If you showed me other Big Red Flags, of course, I would head for the hills, but living with your parents is not a deal breaker, in and of itself, for me. Nor would it be for any other woman worth getting to know.
(I guess that's a long version of "it's not *that* you live with your parents, it's *why* you live with your parents." If you told me that you lived with your parents because you don't have to pay any bills, you don't have to feed yourself, you don't have to do laundry or clean house, that's a different story. If you told me that you lived with your parents because you lost your job, got depressed, and couldn't live on your own for a while, and were now rebuilding your life, that would also be a reasonable answer, which wouldn't chase me away -- although I admit, I'd watch a little closer for other signs of trouble. So, it won't matter enough to ruin potential with any woman you would actually want to meet.)
Good luck to you. And maybe work on finding friends, rather than dates, either as well as or instead of. Friends make it easier to have successful dates, for a lot of reasons that are pretty intangible.
This is the end of the thread.
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