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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by inja on April 13, 2006, at 10:19:49
hi folks,
I am new, and have posted on the newbie site. I wrote the following post there and it was kindly suggested to me that I may get more help, suggestions or response here. It is a long post, so I humbly ask for your patience in reading it.i've been having a really rough week, which is one of the reasons i haven't posted. i've being triggered all over the place, i guess. my husband and i found out recently that a registered S.O. has been our NEXT DOOR neighbor for well over a year. the landlord was/is a good friend (or at least long time friend) of my husband, and the uncle of the S.O. never told us when he came upon our property to say "hi-dee doo" and "oh, by the way, i've rented the apt. over there".
when we found out (completely out of the blue)we realized that no ONE in our small (and i do mean SMALL!) community knew about it. thus, i made big signs about keeping your children safe, that there is a S.O. living at such and such address, gave the R.S.O. #, the website, etc. that sign i have going one way. the other sign goes the other direction, with a HUMONGOUS woord of "SEX Offender" in order to "catch peoples eye as they travel on my road.
lots of folks are stopping to read it, and such which is great. at least now, folks are aware of it, and can talk to their children about it. i am gratefule that both of my children are grown and have their own lives, and thus i need not be concerned for them (i think) because they are adults now. the landlord (uncle) and his wife wrote us an impassioned letter to encourage us to be "better people", to "pray" for him (the S.O.)and essentially, ley bygones be bygones. needless to say, our signs are still on our lawn and we are making MORE too.
i live in New England (not a native, but have been here 20+ yrs), and it is rather true that folks are a bit cold towards until they get to know you (takes at least 20+ yrs for that...LOL), but i am so frustrated.
New England is a depressed economy state. not everyone has a computer let alone internet access. it appears that the law states that it is UP TO the LOCAL yokels police department)to notify people in the neighborhood about a predator in the neighborhood. They have their own "criteria" for that and are not forthcoming in exactly what that is.
what frustrates me the most, at the moment, is that i do not know how to proceed to get involved (outside of sign posting) in trying to make the changes necessary to keep our most precious "commodity", our children, safe. i want to know what i can do EXACTLY to help make a difference. i have no idea whom to contact for further advice.
i have written to the state offender registry, 2 senators, 3 representatives, the governor, the governor's wife, and a host of other people with little to no results.
now....... i'm sure that most of y'all have come to realize why i am so angry and passionate about this. i am a survivor of molestation, rape, incest, and a few other things. and so, yeah... i'm uptight about this. when i was little, from age 3 to age 14, i had NO voice, no "say in the matter". now that i am an adult, i DO have a voice, and sometimes it can be loud. and i am using it, but it doesn't seem enough for me.
unfortunately, i have let this consume me so much that i am distancing myself from my husband (we were married last august, 3rd time for both-and he's an awesomly understanding, kind and a gentle caring man), my therapist, and most unfortunately, distancing myself from myself, if that makes any sense. i don't have any "real friends", i.e. girl friends as it is so hard for me to make friends, though i am not usually shy.
i'll stop now. i just needed to blow off some steam, and am grateful i have a place where i know i am welcomed to do just that.
thank you so much for listening. if any one has any idea though, as to how i can further this "cause" or how i can become more involved to make a change, i welcome that info. frankly, i welcome any kind of feedback, positive or not (but hopefully positive!).
it's just nice to know that i've been "heard".hope everyone has a nice day....
Posted by wildcard11 on April 13, 2006, at 11:04:53
In reply to Sex Offender in the neighborhood (may trigger), posted by inja on April 13, 2006, at 10:19:49
***from age 3 to age 14, i had NO voice, no "say in the matter". now that i am an adult, i DO have a voice, and sometimes it can be loud. and i am using it, but it doesn't seem enough for me
>>>>i understand all to well how you are feeling and am proud of you allowing your voice to be heard now. who knows how many children you are protecting!! unfortunately, even though registered, most do not realize there is a sex offender in their neighborhood until it has happened again. you have my respect and admiration. you go girl!!!
Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 13, 2006, at 12:30:46
In reply to one hell of a person!!!! » inja, posted by wildcard11 on April 13, 2006, at 11:04:53
First, I just wanted to let you know that I'm a survivor too. I know how you feel, and I would feel a bit unhappy with those who let someone move into my neighborhood without telling people.
OTOH, knowing how frightening it is, and recognizing the potential threat, there are offenders who never violate again. That certainly doesn't mean that I would ever be their friend, or invite them to my house, but there are some who don't repeat their crimes. If this person stays near you, I pray that this is the sort of person it is.
I think the biggest problem is where to put these people. Obviously you don't want them in your neighborhood, but where do they go? The only choices are jail for life, execution, or a geographically isolated colony. No city town or neighborhood wants them there.
I really wouldn't know what to do. I hope that things turn out well for you.
--Dee
Posted by Phillipa on April 13, 2006, at 12:42:05
In reply to Re: one hell of a person!!!!, posted by deirdrehbrt on April 13, 2006, at 12:30:46
What state in New England are you from I'm orignally form Connecticut Fairfield County and it is the richest place in the nation and most expensive to live. I know there that you would most definiely have a voice. Love Phillipa
Posted by pseudoname on April 15, 2006, at 10:02:20
In reply to Sex Offender in the neighborhood (may trigger), posted by inja on April 13, 2006, at 10:19:49
Hey, inja.
What a stressful situation for you! I'm very sorry for you that this is happening.
Do you know what sort of offense he's on the registry for? Was he a child predator?
Posted by inja on April 16, 2006, at 12:37:13
In reply to What type of offense? » inja, posted by pseudoname on April 15, 2006, at 10:02:20
sorry i didn't reply earlier. have been feeling blue, but i have never felt this particular shade of blue before....
he was arrested on the charges of "Financing, Maufacturing, and Distribution" of child pornography. this would also entail solicitation (i.e., "come here little girl..."), intimidation and threatening a minor. also, deliberate intoxication, and a whole host of other charges.
y'know... i apppreciate the support tremendously, but the reality (for me) is that i'm not "one helluva person", really. i'm just an average, starin' down the barrel of 50, (retired) housewife who has serious issues.
but the thing is, i don't think i've "done this" (putting signs up on my lawn) for me, per se. i am doing it for my children, who were also horrifically molested at their father's hand (as i was by my own father), and never charged per my daughter's plea (i HAD to keep my promise to her. it would have been yet another betrayal to her had i not acquiesced to her wishes.). (i DID fix him (my children's father)real good though, once i found out where he was residing. i called all the local schools in his area to warn them of a predator/pedophile in their midst who has yet to be prosecuted. i told them that i was one of his victims. (had i not, they might not have taken me seriously)
and of course, i did it for the children in my area, and their parents who had NO CLUE who or whom was in their locale in order to be able to protect the children.
i know for sure though, that i have really stirred up a bee's nest. i think the police department in my small itty bitty town is getting regular calls, asking questions like "why the HELL wasn't i notified??? i have small children..."etc.
some folks are hoppin' mad in my community.
oh, and one last interesting thing? LOL.... i was driving right by his house ( my house is the next driveway to his) to swing into my driveway, and he flipped me off! ya gotta love it....!
Posted by pseudoname on April 16, 2006, at 12:53:08
In reply to Re: What type of offense? other...may trigger » pseudoname, posted by inja on April 16, 2006, at 12:37:13
> charges of "Financing, Maufacturing, and Distribution" of child pornography
Oh, ugh. Yuck. Erf.
> i have never felt this particular shade of blue before....
You're going through an awful lot. And you've been through a lot, too. Thanks for replying. I hope things improve soon.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 20, 2006, at 19:37:38
In reply to Ugh! *trig* » inja, posted by pseudoname on April 16, 2006, at 12:53:08
Inja,
Just got back to this thread. Having read the offenses, I take back that part about not knowing that the perpetrator will offend again.I personally think that those who traffic in child pornography are sick beyond redemtion. People who use children as objects for monetary gain.... it sickens me.
I say kudos to you, for doing what you did, and for having the strength and courage to do so. Your love for your children shines through.
--Dee
This is the end of the thread.
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