![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 8:29:48
I would post this on Parenting but it's a little dead and echoey over there.
I seek words of wisdom and coping from those who have make it through the process.
I thought putting on the school bus at 5 years old was hard. I thought taking and leaving her at college was hard. I thought her moving back home from college was hard. Now, she fully grown and striking out on her own and this too is hard and difficult and bittersweet. It feels like the end of the journey. A journey that has been good and difficult and filled with laughter and tears. Our best work. She's my only child.
I know I'm blessed. I know this is a good transition. But, good transitions can be very difficult nonetheless.
Advice, encouragement, tissues, prehaps a hug?
Posted by Tabitha on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:49
In reply to Empty Nesters?, posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 8:29:48
and a pat on the back for a job well-done.
Posted by Berberis on January 31, 2006, at 12:12:01
In reply to Re:((((Glydin)))), posted by Tabitha on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:49
I'm also experiencing the empty nest syndrome. I haven't found my purpose for existing anymore. Volunteering, hobbies, college classes have been considered many times, but I find no interest in anything. I have no hope for any happiness in my future. All I see is getting old, sick and bored.
I'm sorry this wasn't supportive and, in fact, very depressing. But at least you know you're not alone.
Maybe others here can offer us both some worthwhile advice...
Posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 12:51:51
In reply to Re:((((Glydin)))), posted by Tabitha on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:49
Thank you so, my good friend.
Hey, at least I have another home to help put together and organize. (smile)
Posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 13:05:06
In reply to Empty Nesters?, posted by Berberis on January 31, 2006, at 12:12:01
>
> I'm sorry this wasn't supportive and, in fact, very depressing. But at least you know you're not alone.
Feelings you expressed about this transition are just honest and I think "normal"?I do think the key is craving out a life and interests for oneself. In other words, keep busy.... I've needed to work on *my own* interests for a while. If your experience is like mine, when they are around sixteen, there is the slow progression of them coming into their own. Adapting is almost more difficult for us than them. At least they have a bit of a guidebook and expectations as least as far as society expects. We don't have that advantage.
I'm fortunate I'm in a good place emotionally - better than probably anytime before. My head can rationalize what needs to be done by me but my heart may need a little while with some bandaids before I can work on plans.
I hope we both work it out.
Posted by Berberis on January 31, 2006, at 14:05:58
In reply to Re: Empty Nesters? » Berberis, posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 13:05:06
I found this support forum for empty nesters. Maybe it'll help us both.
Posted by AuntieMel on January 31, 2006, at 16:03:26
In reply to Empty Nesters?, posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 8:29:48
The baby is off at college, but still has us as a "permanent" address. I'm getting real used to not having a lot of commotion.
Well, except when my mom is staying with us, which gets more and more often. Talk about commotion - she finally got hearing aids, but she won't wear them and the tv is cranked up really loud.
Posted by thuso on January 31, 2006, at 17:06:11
In reply to Empty Nesters?, posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 8:29:48
> I would post this on Parenting but it's a little dead and echoey over there.
>
> I seek words of wisdom and coping from those who have make it through the process.
>
> I thought putting on the school bus at 5 years old was hard. I thought taking and leaving her at college was hard. I thought her moving back home from college was hard. Now, she fully grown and striking out on her own and this too is hard and difficult and bittersweet. It feels like the end of the journey. A journey that has been good and difficult and filled with laughter and tears. Our best work. She's my only child.
>
> I know I'm blessed. I know this is a good transition. But, good transitions can be very difficult nonetheless.
>
> Advice, encouragement, tissues, prehaps a hug?You may assume that you are now an empty nester, but it still might not be the case. Take me for example. Went off to college (brother was still in H.S.)...graduated college...brother then moved out...2 weeks later, I moved in to try and find a job....2 years later I moved out to go back to school...2 years later, I moved back in to find a job...3 months later, my brother moved back in because he lost his job...the plan now is to move out this spring after getting a good amount of money in savings from my new job. Who knows what will happen next. hahaha! ;-) And my parent's neighbor just had their daughter move in with her husband for a couple years so that they could save cash to buy a house.
I'm telling you...all you parents who think you are empty nesters, may not be quite yet. If no child moves back in over a 5 year period...then you can consider yourself an empty nester. hahaha!
The funniest part...as soon as I graduated H.S. (my brother was in 8th grade), my parents got a personalized license plate that said "Empty Nest". They were dying for the day to come...and 10 years later, my brother and I are still in the house. HAHAHAHAHA! Joke's on them!
Posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 18:29:28
In reply to Re: I can't wait » Glydin, posted by AuntieMel on January 31, 2006, at 16:03:26
> Well, except when my mom is staying with us, which gets more and more often. Talk about commotion - she finally got hearing aids, but she won't wear them and the tv is cranked up really loud.
~~~ You want me to have your Mom over for a while?I might need the company. (smile)
Posted by Phillipa on January 31, 2006, at 18:34:30
In reply to Re: I can't wait » AuntieMel, posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 18:29:28
Glydin will she be living near you? That would help. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 18:40:25
In reply to Re: Empty Nesters?...Not necessarily... » Glydin, posted by thuso on January 31, 2006, at 17:06:11
I have been warned of that.
Right now, the "repeat, repeat preformance" (this is the leaving after the return to home from college for my daughter) seems preferrable, I'm sure that's not the way I'll continue to feel.
I remember when I left home, I never gave a thought to the effect on my folks. It's just not something I thought about then. I think that's typical. It's strange to be on the other end of this.
Posted by Glydin on January 31, 2006, at 18:51:30
In reply to Re: I can't wait » Glydin, posted by Phillipa on January 31, 2006, at 18:34:30
> Glydin will she be living near you? That would help. Fondly, Phillipa
Yes, she's quite close to home.
My Dad has been trying to lighten (with humor and stating the obvious) this mourning I seem to have imposed on myself by pointing out: "Hon, she's not moving three states away...."
Alright, don't laugh at me.... She's about 35 miles away for home. It just feels like it's so far away..... in principle.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.