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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sleepygirl on January 5, 2006, at 4:21:39
and sometimes we don't
Sometimes we can have empathy for behavior that may be frustrating (yes, the recent Deneb postings got me thinking, but more than that), and sometimes we don't
like we know the behavior is about "something", from the ways we've learned about ourselves, and how we haven't seemed to make sense before, haven't been able to understand, communicate clearly.......so we have some patience, but there is the ability to lose oneself in things, becoming "someone else", a part in a play
Why is it so hard to be clear? to understand what we want, what we need?
I still can't be clear - sometimes I honestly and really don't know, so there's a tiny piece of my empathy.Someone said once that you should stand back sometimes and consider the "performance piece" in front of you, what does the audience need to know, and what part will you play - I only partially grasp this.
It's hard to know when holding back is appropriate from when it feels like being witholding, withdrawing, abandoning, all that. I've often thought people were cold when they've wanted to keep themselves removed from all that.
I myself feel removed by commenting on it all like what the heck do I know, but I like the different perspectives and all
well there's my late night/early morning ramblings......
see ya later
Posted by zeugma on January 5, 2006, at 21:15:30
In reply to It's interesting how sometimes we have patience..., posted by sleepygirl on January 5, 2006, at 4:21:39
> and sometimes we don't
>
> Sometimes we can have empathy for behavior that may be frustrating (yes, the recent Deneb postings got me thinking, but more than that), and sometimes we don't
>
> like we know the behavior is about "something", from the ways we've learned about ourselves, and how we haven't seemed to make sense before, haven't been able to understand, communicate clearly.......so we have some patience, but there is the ability to lose oneself in things, becoming "someone else", a part in a play
>
> Why is it so hard to be clear? to understand what we want, what we need?
> I still can't be clear - sometimes I honestly and really don't know, so there's a tiny piece of my empathy.
>
> Someone said once that you should stand back sometimes and consider the "performance piece" in front of you, what does the audience need to know, and what part will you play - I only partially grasp this.
>
to put oneself in another's vantage point. serious if naive question- are we talking about literal acting? (somehow that seems oxymoronic, but never mind- am very serious.) because a stage is a controlled situation where it is reasonable to attempt this, the audience is kept in the dark so as to facilitate one's own signal and reduce audience's noise- now if we are talking about as a psychotherapeutic principle well i would say individuals are too idiosyncratic and signal to noise ratio too low (in most cases- there are exceptions).
> It's hard to know when holding back is appropriate from when it feels like being witholding, withdrawing, abandoning, all that. I've often thought people were cold when they've wanted to keep themselves removed from all that.
>
i distance myself. or communicate only with those i know how to communicate with. and i feel cold for doing this.> I myself feel removed by commenting on it all like what the heck do I know, but I like the different perspectives and all
> well there's my late night/early morning ramblings......
> see ya later
>
i am sleepy too,sleepiness not at all induced by your comments, are you narcoleptic as well? (serious if naive question)-z
>
Posted by sleepygirl on January 5, 2006, at 21:26:07
In reply to Re: It's interesting how sometimes we have patience... » sleepygirl, posted by zeugma on January 5, 2006, at 21:15:30
I don't mean acting literally so I guess it's sort of a psychotherapeutic principle - I just mean we expect others (unconsciously) to play certain roles, and we have also adopted them for ourselves, the script evolves from thereWhat do you mean by signal to noise ratio being too low??
I'm not narcoleptic, just an erratic sleeper.
Posted by zeugma on January 5, 2006, at 21:56:31
In reply to Re: It's interesting how sometimes we have patience... » zeugma, posted by sleepygirl on January 5, 2006, at 21:26:07
>
> I don't mean acting literally so I guess it's sort of a psychotherapeutic principle - I just mean we expect others (unconsciously) to play certain roles, and we have also adopted them for ourselves, the script evolves from there>>got you.
>
> What do you mean by signal to noise ratio being too low??
>
the signal is the amount of information we transmit. the noise is the stuff that gets lost, misunderstood, etc. on both sides. actors (good ones) control this well so the audience gets what they're about. but life isn't like a play, and actors aren't roles- they pretend to be someone else, which in itself i find to be a staggering undertaking. we take on roles ourselves- now 'zeugma' and 'sleepygirl' are great stage names- (well i'm being immodest in my own case) and somewhere dr.bob (or someone he cites) talks about the significance of this- the names i mean- it is very significant. we are playing roles, and are the roles, at the same time. the whole thing you talked about is a valid psychotherapeutic principle, but playing the roles can interfere with seeing what the other person is up to. in a play it's more a one way exchange where the actor can count on a reasonably passive and cooperative audience (nowadays- in shakespeare's day they threw rotten tomatoes at the stage if they didn't get what was going on- hence plays were better then- shakespeare had a more critical audience- but i digress)anyway an actor can step out of the role when the show is over but we can't. so i stay 'zeugma' though that's no more my name than edward alleyn's was tamburlaine. and that's noise, something is distracting, me i mean, as if i confused myself with the role i'm playing. and that is noise, static, confusion on my end. i doubt alleyn thought he spent his childhood out on the steppes.but i am quite convinced that i am 'z', or at least synonymous with him. which is correct. but only to a point.
-z, narcoleptic.
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