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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 2:23:25
I'm writing some pretty depressing stuff and I don't want to offend people or get into trouble again.
Maybe my morbid thoughts should not be expressed. No good can come from them.
I don't think people believe me when I say how I upset I get over little things. I think I have really bad coping skills. It doesn't take much to tip the balance. No one will believe me. It's ok, maybe I'm insane.
I don't know how I survived so long...
I'm guessing it is because I still live with my parents and they are around every day.Deneb
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 2:31:03
In reply to More depressing stuff *possible trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 2:23:25
I don't think crisis lines take me seriously. I've never threatened my life when on the phone with them, but I have been very distraught over little things...like not studying for a midterm.
I actually called the crisis centre a couple of days before the OD that landed me in the hospital.
I went to the doctor and told her that I was having thoughts of hurting myself the day before.
I still did it.
I don't think people take me seriously. Maybe it is a good thing.
Deneb
Posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 4:47:13
In reply to Re: More depressing stuff *possible trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 2:31:03
What do you say when you phone the crisis line? I remember having trouble around that - and I still do. Sometimes I think hospital is the best place for me but I feel like they aren't taking my call seriously. Is that what is going on?
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 12:22:31
In reply to Re: More depressing stuff *possible trigger* » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 4:47:13
> What do you say when you phone the crisis line?
Usually I'm not very coherent. I mainly just cry and cry and talk in fragments.
Than I usually calm down and thank the person and leave.
Deneb
Posted by Annierose on September 18, 2005, at 13:07:41
In reply to More depressing stuff *possible trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 2:23:25
I think it's a good idea to remember times like this when you are deciding whether or not you need therapy. I remember a thread you started a week or two back, that you were happy and didn't need someone to help you. A therapist would help you understand why you get upset over little things, and help with coping skills. It's not a bad thing to go to therapy. It's a good thing.
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 14:10:49
In reply to More depressing stuff *possible trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 2:23:25
Last night, I thought about ODing again.
I cried myself to sleep, it was way past my bedtime. I couldn't see a future for myself.
I even thought about killing Hammie, even though I would never do that. I love Hammie. He needs me.
Deneb
Posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 14:35:12
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of myself *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 14:10:49
>I don't think people believe me when I say how I upset I get over little things.
Why do you think people don't believe you?
If they believed you then how would they act differently?>I think I have really bad coping skills.
IMO the best way to learn some new ones that might work out better for you is to get some psychological treatment.
>It doesn't take much to tip the balance. No one will believe me.
What are they supposed to do?
Thats a hard one...
Other people can't take your pain away.
You can learn coping skills so it is a lot more bearable.
You can learn more about asking for help appropriately.
Your life can get a whole heap nicer than it is at times right now.
But only you can do it.
But you do need a little help.When is your appoitment?
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 16:59:32
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of myself *trigger* » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 14:35:12
> Why do you think people don't believe you?
I'm not too sure why. There just never seems to be enough support. People try to fill me with support sometimes, but I think there is a leak...
Pretty soon people stop trying to support and comfort me, because I cannot be consoled. :-(> If they believed you then how would they act differently?
Again, I'm not sure. Maybe. But then even if they did believe me, they still can't console me enough.
> >It doesn't take much to tip the balance. No one will believe me.
>
> What are they supposed to do?I don't know. :-(
I just want people to make me feel better, but I think I have to make myself feel better.> When is your appoitment?
This Tues.
I think there is something wrong with me. I haven't done anything productive the whole weekend. I sleep most of the time when no one is around. I sleep even though I am not tired. It's like I don't want to live my life.
Deneb
Posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 19:15:16
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of myself *trigger* » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2005, at 16:59:32
>There just never seems to be enough support. People try to fill me with support sometimes, but I think there is a leak...
> Pretty soon people stop trying to support and comfort me, because I cannot be consoled. :-(Yeah. I hear you there. Linehan talks about this... About how at times people with BPD seem to be in so much pain... And about how clinicians can sometimes feel like they are leaky in the sense that no matter how much support and encouragement they offer it never seems to be enough. And so people with BPD can come to feel that way too... And her answer to that... Was that basically thats not true. But you need to learn about that too. I do hear you. Sometimes I'm in such a bad place and I really want / need support. But the support that is offered doesn't seem to be enough... And the answer is that it does help when people offer support. And it does hurt when people don't offer support. But even when people do offer support... They can't fix it / make it all better. You need to do something active with the support that they offer. And you can learn to do this (and I need to learn to do it better too). And you can learn to look after the people who are trying to help you too. There are things you can do to help people want to help you. But they have to be learned too... And it is hard. And I hear you there...
> I just want people to make me feel better, but I think I have to make myself feel better.Yeah. Its about learning how to actively do something with the support that people offer. Like how your p-doc has said some things to you... And they are things that you remember sometimes when you aren't doing so well and they seem to help.
> > When is your appoitment?> This Tues.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I really really will. Can you ask about whether you might be able to do DBT? DBT will teach you a LOT of skills that I reckon will be really really helpful to you.
> I think there is something wrong with me. I haven't done anything productive the whole weekend. I sleep most of the time when no one is around. I sleep even though I am not tired. It's like I don't want to live my life.
Sounds like my weekend ;-)
I get the sleep thing going on too... Trying to sleep my life away... And sometimes it is hard to muster productivity... Don't beat yourself up about it (that will probably make you feel like going to bed to escape it all!)((((Deneb)))))
Posted by Phillipa on September 19, 2005, at 18:18:00
In reply to Re: I'm afraid of myself *trigger* » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 19:15:16
Deneb, I like to stay up late and sleep late. That way the day seems shorter. I wish I wasn't so afraid of the real world. Let us know how that appointment goes maybe you can others too. Fondly, Phillipa
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