![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kid47 on September 7, 2005, at 16:46:31
I don't usually pass this kind of stuff along, but as a Dad who is raising a son, it really got a snort outa me. I think we could all use a good laugh!!
peace
kid
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, TX…“Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1. A KING SIZE WATER BED HOLDS ENOUGH WATER TO FILL A 2000 SQ. FT. HOUSE 4 “ DEEP
2. IF YOU SPRAY HAIR SPRAY ON DUST BUNNIES AND RUN OVER THEM WITH ROLLER BLADES, THEY CAN IGNITE
3. A 3-YR. OLD BOY’S VOICE IS LOUDER THAN 200 ADULTS IN A CROWDED RESTAURANT
4. IF YOU HOOK A DOG LEASH OVER A CEILING FAN, THE MOTOR IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO ROTATE A 42 LB BOY WEARING BATMAN UNDERWEAR AND A SUPERMAN CAPE. IT IS STRONG ENOUGH, HOWEVER, IF TIED TO PAINT CAN, TO SPREAD PAINT ON ALL FOUR WALLS OF A 20X20 FT. ROOM
5. YOU SHOULD NOT THROW BASEBALLS UP WHEN THE CEILING FAN IS ON. WHEN USING A CEILING FAN AS A BAT, YOU HAE TO THROW THE BALL UP A FEW TIMES BEFORE YOU GET A HIT. A CIELING FAN CAN HIT A BASEBALL A LONG WAY
6. THE GLASS IN WINDOWS (EVEN DOUBLE-PANE) DOESN’T STOP A BASEBALL HIT BY A CEILING FAN
7. WHEN YOU HEAR THE TOILET FLUSH AND THE WORDS “UH OH”, IT’S ALREADY TOO LATE!
8. BRAKE FLUID MIXED WITH CLOROX MAKES SMOKE, AND LOTS OF IT
9. 80% OF MEN WHO READ THIS WILL TRY MIXING THE CLOROX AND BRAKE FLUID
10. A SIX-YR. OLD BOY CAN START A FIRE WITH A FLINT ROCK EVEN THOUGH A 36-YR. OLD MAN SAYS THEY CAN ONLY DO IT IN THE MOVIES
11. CERTAIN LEGO’S WILL PASS THROUGH THE DIGESTIVE TRACT OF A 4-YR. OLD BOY
12. PLAY DOUGH AND MICROWAVE SHOULD NOT BE USED IN THE SAME SENTENCE
13. SUPER GLUE IS F-O-R-E-V-E-R
14. NO MATTER HOW MUCH JELL-O YOU PUT IN A SWIMMING POOL YOU STILL CAN’T WALK ON WATER
15. POOL FILTERS DO NOT LIKE JELL-O
16. VCR’S DO NOT EJECT “PB & J” SANDWICHES EVEN THOUGH TV COMMERCIALS SHOW THEY DO
17. GARBAGE BAGS DO NOT MAKE GOOD PARACHUTES
18. MARBLES IN GAS TANKS MAKE LOTS OF NOISE WHEN DRIVING
19. YOU PROBABLY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT ODOR IS
20. ALWAYS LOOK IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU TURN IT ON; PLASTIC TOYS DO NOT LIKE OVENS
21. THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IN AUSTIN, TX. HAS A 5-MINUTE RESPONSE TIME
22. THE SPIN CYCLE ON THE WASHING MACHINE DOES NOT MAKE EARTHWORMS DIZZY
23. IT WILL, HOWEVER, MAKE CATS DIZZY
24. CATS THROW-UP TWICE THEIR BODY WIEGHT WHEN DIZZY
25. THOSE WHO PASS THIS ON TO ALMOST ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS, WITH OR WITHOUT BOYS DO IT BECAUSE:
a. For those with no children—this is totally hysterical!
b. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious!
c. For those who have children this age, this is not funny!
d. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning
e. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT YET HAD CHILDREN, THIS IS BIRTH CONTROL :o)
Posted by Damos on September 7, 2005, at 17:20:36
In reply to Raising boys, posted by kid47 on September 7, 2005, at 16:46:31
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 7, 2005, at 17:21:37
In reply to Raising boys, posted by kid47 on September 7, 2005, at 16:46:31
3. A 3-YR. OLD BOY’S VOICE IS LOUDER THAN 200 ADULTS IN A CROWDED RESTAURANTThat is so true! Though I'll replace it with "crowded bus" and I"ll tell you why
I had a friend named Robyn who had two kids, Avery (who was 3) and Haley, they didn't have a car, so whenever they went to the store they would take a cab. In the area we lived I would say 90% (if not more) of the cab drivers were Sikhs, that's just the way it is.
Well, one day I took Avery and Haley out, and we took the bus. A Sikh man with a turban sat in front of us and Avery's eyes went wide and he said "Auntie G, why is there a CAB DRIVER riding on a BUS!!!
Posted by wildcard on September 7, 2005, at 17:50:50
In reply to Raising boys, posted by kid47 on September 7, 2005, at 16:46:31
That is soooo true!!!! lol i have two boys...the 10 year old, we've been there and i know my 9 month old will be next. Plus i grew up w/ 7 boys...i was TORTURED!!! lets just say they got bored w/ the cat and tried to put me in the dryer. or my head in the toilet..lol
thanx for sharing that!
Posted by Phil on September 7, 2005, at 18:34:26
In reply to Raising boys, posted by kid47 on September 7, 2005, at 16:46:31
Thanks kid. LOL
My step-brother once hit a full can of red spray paint with a machete. I was 15' away and that can took off like a rocket and hit me in the head. Didn't hurt but I had paint everywhere. My momma was PO'ed, man.
Back then, I always wondered what 'contents under pressure' meant...til that day.Phil
Posted by TexasChic on September 7, 2005, at 19:53:23
In reply to Re: Raising boys » kid47, posted by Phil on September 7, 2005, at 18:34:26
And to think I was upset because my nephew got spaghetti sauce on my new pillow (and then hid it)!
Posted by linkadge on September 8, 2005, at 10:14:00
In reply to Re: Raising boys, posted by TexasChic on September 7, 2005, at 19:53:23
One time my brother convinced me that the gerble liked being spun by its tail.
So I tried and I lost the gerble, but I still had the tail.
I was only 4 at the time.
Linadge
Posted by TexasChic on September 8, 2005, at 16:11:52
In reply to Re: Raising boys, posted by linkadge on September 8, 2005, at 10:14:00
Okay, this is a little different from the other stories, but cute. When my brother was about 3, he had a little girlfriend that lived across the street (same age). He would stand out on the front porch, and while beating his little chest, do the Tarzan yell as loud as he could. And here she'd come running. Her mother told us she would drop whatever she was doing, & say "gotta go".
These same two were in the backyard one day when I was in the kitchen with my Mom. I saw my Mom look out the window, burst into uncontrollable laughter, and then run to the phone. She called the little girl's mother and said, "you won't believe what our kids are doing!". I looked out the window and saw the two of them sitting real close on the sandbox. They were looking around the yard like they were searching for something. I was just wondering what Mom was talking about when they suddenly kissed! They repeated this over and over and we just stood there and laughed. When questioned later they said they were playing a game they made up called 'See and Kiss'. Whenever you saw something, you kissed!
Posted by wildcard on September 8, 2005, at 16:22:42
In reply to Re: Raising boys, posted by TexasChic on September 8, 2005, at 16:11:52
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.