![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dominique on August 31, 2005, at 21:29:11
According to my family, I'm a "pack rat"... it runs in the family. I'm not disgusting with dirty dishes or anything in that nasty realm; but, I just can't clean up. Every time I try, I just make more piles everywhere.... My husband just laughs at me and shrugs his shoulders. Kitchen is tidy, clothes are washed; yet, it is as if I am a teenager again with piles of clothes (clean), magazines, and ..well.. clutter all over the rest of the house. I look at the place and get uneased about the entire situation, but can't seem to fix it. I'd much rather tend to an overgrown flower bed than to spruce up and pick up in the living room/bedroom area. The fact that I'm practically living in an attic w/no storage space also seems to be working against me....
Stuck in piles
Dom
Posted by ClearSkies on September 1, 2005, at 13:01:52
In reply to Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Dominique on August 31, 2005, at 21:29:11
So do you want to be able to tidy up the piles? I get into phases when I seem to herd them from one place to another without actually putting things away. I filed away household paperwork this week that had been collecting for several months. It seemed insurmountable and I was only able to do it by "schnibbling" away at it every few days. It doesn't help when you know that it'd going to return eventually...
Is it a matter of being able to organize the stuff?
ClearSkies
Posted by Ilene on September 1, 2005, at 13:57:19
In reply to Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Dominique on August 31, 2005, at 21:29:11
I can't clean up either, but it's gotten to the point where I have some control over my piles. I've at least restricted them to certain places. I'm a packrat too, but I'm starting to realize I no longer want all my stuff. I've given some things away on FreeCycle.
A bigger problem is my husband's and daughter's stuff. My daughter is a complete slob. I'm willing to let her keep her room any way she wants. She's got a large bedroom and a separate dressing room. (Meanwhile my husband and I share a modest closet.) My husband keeps empty boxes! He also says I have to help him file. I don't like filing!
I've had the most success nibbling away at my piles and trying to do a little every day.
I.
Posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 19:09:24
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Ilene on September 1, 2005, at 13:57:19
Its funny you mention this - I know exactly what you're talking about. I just discovered a 12-step program called Messies Anonymous. They have books and meetings and tips and such. From the research I've done, I believe my affliction is associated with my OCD. But its not the only cause.
One tip they offered was to set aside three boxes labeled: Throw Away, Give Away or Recycle, and Put Away Later. You start at one point in a room and just start sorting. The idea is, people have trouble throwing stuff away because they think the item is still useful. I haven't tried this yet, but I intend to this weekend. I'm such a procrastinator though, so we'll see.
-T
Posted by Ilene on September 1, 2005, at 19:45:03
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 19:09:24
> One tip they offered was to set aside three boxes labeled: Throw Away, Give Away or Recycle, and Put Away Later. You start at one point in a room and just start sorting. The idea is, people have trouble throwing stuff away because they think the item is still useful. I haven't tried this yet, but I intend to this weekend. I'm such a procrastinator though, so we'll see.
>
> -TThat's why I like FreeCycle
http://www.freecycle.org/
You can give things away to people who need them. I gave away a comforter, picnic supplies, a coffee/spice mill, and a pound of espresso that I accidently bought in ground form. (We have a very nice coffee grinder.) I'm eyeing some other things that are cluttering up the garage.I.
Posted by Phillipa on September 1, 2005, at 20:53:03
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Ilene on September 1, 2005, at 19:45:03
I can't because I don't want to pure and simple. But my husband is worse than a packrat. He goes through dumpsters, brings home anything he finds. It runs in his family. My sister-in-law sneaks out at night to throw something away. And I've caught my husband rummaging through the garbage to see what I've thrown away. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by crazy teresa on September 2, 2005, at 20:09:50
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Ilene on September 1, 2005, at 19:45:03
That is one of the coolest websites I've seen! My town is not listed, but one not too far from here is. I've very excited! :~}
Thanks!
crazy t
Posted by crazy teresa on September 2, 2005, at 20:13:44
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Phillipa on September 1, 2005, at 20:53:03
LOL! My husband is always picking stuff out of the trash! Never know when you might NEED it... In the mean time, I'm resigning myself to yet another winter that I won't be able to park in the garage because we have so much stuff we don't need that he thinks we may need!
I keep telling him what he NEEDS is medication! ;~}
crazy t
Posted by Phillipa on September 2, 2005, at 20:49:24
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice.... » Phillipa, posted by crazy teresa on September 2, 2005, at 20:13:44
I agree they both do maybe for trashacholism? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by rainbowbrite on September 2, 2005, at 22:54:45
In reply to Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Dominique on August 31, 2005, at 21:29:11
It is really difficult to be organized. they have personal organizers....people who come in but they cost. you could go to the container store and buy some organization. try to keep your piles contained. i LOVE that store. It will take awhile to actually do it but I have found that to be very helpful, it helps keep things compact too, well until you develop more cluttter. but it is worth a try and then you just have to get more containers :-)
Posted by Mal on September 3, 2005, at 6:40:54
In reply to Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by Dominique on August 31, 2005, at 21:29:11
Dom-
I LOVE this website- http://www.flylady.net
You can sign up for daily "nagging" emails, if that would help. Flylady is all about "baby steps". She says your house didn't get this way overnight and it won't get cleaned up overnight. The basis for her plan is making new habits- she calls them routines. I have done her plan to a degree. I go through cycles of doing well and then not doing so well. But I can see taht if you stick to her plan your house will be in great shape.My DH is a NON clutter person, and I come from a long line of junkaholics, so it is hard for me to throw stuff out. I donate to the Goodwill here several times a year. Our house is small so I can't keep everything without REALLY piling up. And we are pretty piled up as it is.
I hope this helps someone...
MAL
Posted by crazy teresa on September 3, 2005, at 13:28:58
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice.... » crazy teresa, posted by Phillipa on September 2, 2005, at 20:49:24
Posted by TexasChic on September 3, 2005, at 20:52:24
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice.... » Dominique, posted by Mal on September 3, 2005, at 6:40:54
I bookmarked both freecycle and http://www.flylady.net/. I'll take all the tips I can get. Thank's yall!
I almost feel like my clutter is self sabotage. I mean, no one can ever come over with it the way it is. And I seem so intent on isolating myself despite how much I don't want to it to be that way. But I want so badly for my home to be my sanctuary. I have such great decorating ideas. but the floor is covered with clothes, mail, newspaper, trash and books. You don't have to wade through it or anything, but its bad enough. I feel like if I can ever tackle this 'affliction', I will be on my way to becoming the more balanced, happier person I want to be.
Posted by Sarah T. on September 4, 2005, at 1:08:49
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by TexasChic on September 3, 2005, at 20:52:24
Hi Texas Chic,
I have a problem with clutter, mostly magazines, journals and newspapers ("I can't throw this out because there's a really interesing article I have to read first"). I do keep the kitchen and bathroom clean, but there are piles of papers and magazines all over the place.
I do have to mention two things that have helped me:
1) When you decide to tackle the clutter, don't plan on doing everything. Just say, "I'm going to work on just this one table today, or just this one section of the table." If you break up the task into tiny portions, it doesn't seem so daunting. Once you've gotten through that one section, you'll feel so much better that you just might have the energy to do one more section.
2) This next suggestion probably isn't feasible, but I've found that moving helped me get rid of a lot of clutter. Moving is horribly stressful. I don't know how I made it through the last move, but somehow I finally got through it, and I managed to throw out and/or shred tons of papers I'd been saving. It felt really good to finally get rid of a lot of that stuff.
I do think the most important thing is to break the task down into TINY segments. Also, consistency helps. For example, if you do the dishes every time you use them, then you don't end up with a whole sink-full. If you're really stressed out and/or going through a particularly tenacious depression, then it helps to buy paper and/or plastic plates and utensils and disposable aluminum pans for eating and cooking. Granted, it's wasteful and eco-unfriendly, but at least it will free you from having to worry about that until you have more energy.
Posted by TexasChic on September 5, 2005, at 18:54:27
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice.... » TexasChic, posted by Sarah T. on September 4, 2005, at 1:08:49
My nephew came to visit this weekend (he's 7), and he'll complain (in childish innocence) about it being messy at my house. I don't really want him to be exposed to my chaos. So I actually cleaned up my living room! Vacuumed and everything! It may not seem like much, but it was a major accomplishment for me. There isn't even anything under the couch! Now, my bedroom is still a mess, but that's beside the point. He was really impressed. We were able to sit in the floor and color and play games. It was great. His dad is a total jerk, he always yells at him. So I like to have his visits to my house be a refuge from all that. I guess it takes someone else's happiness to motivate me.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on September 6, 2005, at 20:50:10
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by TexasChic on September 5, 2005, at 18:54:27
I've cleaned my kitchen too now! I'm sure no one cares, but after months of being unable to get up off the couch, I'm pretty impressed with myself. Its got to be the Wellbutrin I just started again.
I did have a weird depression/paranoia dip this afternoon though. It took me a while to realize it could be because of getting used to the Wellbutrin again. I know some meds can give you opposite reactions initially. I hadn't felt like that in a long time. But once I analyzed it and realized it wasn't 'real', I was able to get past it. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.
Posted by rainbowbrite on September 7, 2005, at 0:30:15
In reply to Re: Why can't I clean up??Need help/advice...., posted by TexasChic on September 6, 2005, at 20:50:10
Thats great TC! I understand the feeling of acomplishment you get from finally cleaning.
I just cleaned a mirror today and I was amazed at how my vision improved! No Sh*t! I really like the mirror without dust on it. But I never knew it was dirty till now :-o
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.