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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 35 to 59 of 72. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dominique on September 1, 2005, at 18:22:53
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress, posted by alexandra_k on September 1, 2005, at 18:09:46
Can we be civil adults here???? I apologized for accidentally hurting someone's feelings. But I believe that we have now come to the point where assumptions are running wild....
And by the way, yes my best friend is black. He's my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by alexandra_k on September 1, 2005, at 18:35:00
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress, posted by Dominique on September 1, 2005, at 18:22:53
if you look at the time on my posts i was composing mine as you were apologising
Posted by alexandra_k on September 1, 2005, at 18:40:00
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress » Dominique, posted by alexandra_k on September 1, 2005, at 18:35:00
> if you look at the time on my posts i was composing mine as you were apologising
sorry that might not be so clear...sometimes posts cross. if you start composing a post then you don't see what other people have contributed to the thread in the time it takes you to compose your post.
if you check out the time of posting (at the top of the post) then this can give you an indication.
if you beat someone by 30 seconds then its probably safe to assume they didn't read yours before they responded.
and sometimes... i go for a cigarette break while composing...
so i missed your last two posts before my response
make sense?
Posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 18:46:24
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress, posted by Dominique on September 1, 2005, at 18:22:53
I'm so sorry. I have an interest in all things psychological, and when I made that statement I was thinking about what could possibly explain the mentality of looters. I didn't mean it as an excuse for them. I just like to try to figure out why people act the way they do. I'm sorry if it sounded as if I was defending people who are selfishly taking advantage of a terrible situation just to benefit themselves.
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 19:06:01
In reply to (((sorry for hurting your feelings))) (nm), posted by Dominique on September 1, 2005, at 18:09:26
I'm sorry that was our first interaction on the board, I'm glad we worked it out.
Now, onward and upward : )
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 19:12:06
In reply to Whoa! Did I cause all this???, posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 18:46:24
No, of course not! Threads end up being like that old game of telephone sometimes. And to me it didn't sound like you were trying to defend looters. There's a big difference between trying to find an explanation, or understand and defending or excusing.
People try to get into the heads of all kinds of criminals, without intending to excuse their actions. And besides, people can "feel" a sense of entitlement, or a justification for looting, or even murder, but stating that as a possiblity for how they might think, doesn't mean that you agree that it's correct.
Posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 19:27:05
In reply to Re: Whoa! Did I cause all this??? » TexasChic, posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 19:12:06
Dominique, just as the "looters" say that they are acting out of frustration, I think that people should realize that your venting the other day was out of frustration as well
keep the smiling.
I love all of you postors.
Posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 19:57:52
In reply to Re: Whoa! Did I cause all this??? » TexasChic, posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 19:12:06
Thanks Gabbix2. I just thought I may have come off as sounding insensitive toward the people this is actually happening to, which of course was not my intention.
I'm thinking about trying to do some volunteer work this weekend since I can't really help financially. Alot of the New Orleans refugees are being relocated here. One thing I wish I could do is to find a way to get some toys and games to the kids. I know that's not a necessity, but I just feel so bad for the kids. They must be so bored and miserable. I can't stand to see kids in pain.
-T
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 20:43:21
In reply to Re: Whoa! Did I cause all this???, posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 19:27:05
> Dominique, just as the "looters" say that they are acting out of frustration,
Yes, but if in fact the looters said that, would you be willing to accept their behaviour? I don't think so.
Spousal abusers often say they are frustrated, or had a bad day, do we allow that as an excuse?Of course Dominique was venting out of frustration, and I think we do understand that. I totally accept Dominque's apology and this is the last I'll say on the subject. (Sorry dominique, I know this is a moot point between us now)
But when other people are *hearing* your frustration, and hearing themselves being unjustifiably catagorized, or associated with those who commit such cowardly heinous acts, it's also fine to say "Hey! that's not okay, promoting those myths about people on welfare hurts!"
Be angry at the hurricane, be angry at the looters, be angry at God, but don't blame those who are perpetually being scapegoated only because they are at the bottom of the food chain. We have feelings too, and get frustrated and hurt at continually hearing those myths about people on welfare.Welfare is difficult enough to deal with. Getting something for nothing? ha. You only have to sell your soul.
Having a mental illness and being on welfare can destroy your spirit, and the stigma and comments associated with is what pounds the final nail into the coffin.
The truth is the truth, even when inconvenient. It wasn't being used as a tool to make someone feel bad, but a refusal to roll over an play dead when being targeted again, by what amounts to an almost daily assault on our humanity and seems to be one of the few socially acceptable prejudices remaining.
Had that comment been made about Jews, or Blacks, no one would have thought it was okay no matter how frustrated the person venting was. It may have been forgiven, but no one would have been considered insensitive for speaking out about it.My silence will not protect me, and the day I become silent is the is the day I give up all hope, of bettering myself, and of feeling I deserve the most basic considerations afforded others. I will not let that happen.
As Dr. Bob has pointed out, it is when you are stressed and frustrated that you have to be most careful about what you post. And that's why it took me four hours until I could post about this topic.
Posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 20:56:40
In reply to Re: Whoa! Did I cause all this??? » lynn970, posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 20:43:21
I was just trying to keep the peace.
When my dad had TB we were on welfare...Dont like to see babblers argue
Posted by TexasChic on September 1, 2005, at 21:01:31
In reply to Re: Whoa! Did I cause all this??? » lynn970, posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 20:43:21
I don't think you did anything wrong by trying to correct what you felt was an inaccurate portayal. We're all entitled to our opinions. And discussing them is what makes this the 'Social' board!
-T
Posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 21:06:50
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress, posted by Dominique on September 1, 2005, at 18:22:53
>But I believe that we have now come to the >point where assumptions are running wild....
>And by the way, yes my best friend is black. >He's my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does the society you live in make it tough to be in a bi-racial relationship? (assuming that you are in one)
Posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 21:28:53
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress, posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 21:06:50
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 1, 2005, at 21:29:01
In reply to Re: Whoa! Did I cause all this???, posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 20:56:40
> I was just trying to keep the peace.
> When my dad had TB we were on welfare...
>
> Dont like to see babblers argue
>I appreciate that, and your concern and It's not my favorite thing either, but then neither is a forced, tepid congiality.
I did understand that she was speaking in frustration and I'd mentioned in my previous post that people are far more likely to say things they wouldn't normally, when in a frightening position such as Dominiques.We cleared it up. It was not an argument. I said how I felt, and she apologized. But I'm not going to let a hurtful generalization, slip by for the sake of keeping peace.
After all it's during times of frustration that we are quite likely (not always) able to find out where people really stand. It's more simple to be fair and kind when everything is going well.
I find it more peaceful after the people involved have talked it through, and worked through things, as we did. You get to know someone that way, I mean it's not ideal
And I don't do it as a matter of course :)As it is, the fact that Dominique apologized, said more to me about her than her original post. I really respect that, and if I'd not said anything, I would only have the hurt I felt at her remark to associate with her.
Now I feel really bad for Dominique, don't worry, I won't mention your name, at least not about this subject, again, I promise : )
It's gone on long enough
Posted by Dominique on September 1, 2005, at 22:12:26
In reply to Re: Dominique is under a great deal of stress, posted by lynn970 on September 1, 2005, at 21:06:50
Yes it does. Walking through shopping centers and so forth... you can feel eyes shooting through you. It took a long time for my family to get used to the idea, but now everything is somewhat better.
Dom
Posted by Nickengland on September 2, 2005, at 6:06:12
In reply to Do you think, posted by Bobby on August 30, 2005, at 18:34:54
If anyone is interested how to help, who are living outside of the US, I thought this may be of some help and to those living inside the US too of course.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4204066.stm
Warm regards
Nick
Posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:17:50
In reply to Re: I wondered about foreign aid also » sunny10, posted by Damos on September 2, 2005, at 15:58:49
I just wish there was something I could do to help. But it seems the only help they want is money (I've already donated what little I could). If I were to drive out to one of the evacuation centers it would probably cost more than I could afford in gas anyway. I just feel so bad for the kids, elderly, and ill.
-T
Posted by TamaraJ on September 2, 2005, at 17:30:08
In reply to Is anyone else getting depressed because of this?, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:17:50
It's hard to sit by and watch people suffer knowing there is not much we, as individuals, can do to ease the suffering. This may sound stupid, but perhaps there is something you could do within your own community - like a community drive to collect clothes, shoes, household items (including even second-hand furniture and drapes, etc.), toys for kids and other things that can distributed to the victims for when people are in a position to start putting their lives back together. I am sure some could even use clothes and such now. So many have been left with little more than the clothes on their backs. They have lost so much. It has been beyond heartwrenching to watch the news coverage. One man was holding an eight-week old baby and was distraught that they didn't know where they would get milk to feed the baby. So much suffering, so much despair, so much loss.
T
> I just wish there was something I could do to help. But it seems the only help they want is money (I've already donated what little I could). If I were to drive out to one of the evacuation centers it would probably cost more than I could afford in gas anyway. I just feel so bad for the kids, elderly, and ill.
>
> -T
Posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:42:38
In reply to Re: Is anyone else getting depressed because of this?, posted by TamaraJ on September 2, 2005, at 17:30:08
Yeah, I obviously need to try harder. There's definetely a need, so there must be a way. I mean all these refugees are right here in my neighborhood. I guess its just so overwhelming to me. I think I need to stop watching all the news coverage. I'll be no use to anyone if I fall into a deep depression over this.
-T
Posted by lynn970 on September 2, 2005, at 17:48:11
In reply to Is anyone else getting depressed because of this?, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:17:50
I just wish there was something I could do to help. But it seems the only help they want is money (I've already donated what little I could). If I were to drive out to one of the evacuation centers it would probably cost more than I could afford in gas anyway. I just feel so bad for the kids, elderly, and ill.
-T
It is so sad. I feel bad for the babies and the nice people.
The violent ones are making it hard to help. My friends and I are doing all that we can around here. We wanted to go to Baton Rouge, but were told not to go there. They said that they dont want people to go because we would just get in the way. (Baton Rouge doubled in population) Besides, I was also told that some of the people are holding people up and taking their vehicles.
I was just notified that a bus carrying people away just flipped off of Hwy 49 in St Landry Parish.If you believe in prayer. Just pray.
Posted by lynn970 on September 2, 2005, at 17:54:51
In reply to Re: Is anyone else getting depressed because of th » TamaraJ, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:42:38
TC, please dont go into a depression over this. Your heart is in the right place and I am sure that you will be a blessing to someone in or near your neighborhood.
Posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:58:45
In reply to Re: Is anyone else getting depressed because of th » TamaraJ, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:42:38
The government knew it was coming, but they just left it up to the individuals to get themselves out! Why didn't the gov. help them?! So many people had no means to get out! They didn't even try to get the ill, elderly, and children out. Then, knowing the terrible conditions these people were stuck in, they still left them for days in unsafe, unsanitary conditions with no food or water. I just feel like the gov. really dropped the ball on this one. They should have been better prepared to handle this after the 9/11 experience. Its no wonder its chaos and violence, that's the way people get when desperate and scared. And these people are terrified. They think they are forgotten and ignored. They think that because the majority is black that they are not getting the immediate attention they would have otherwise. This whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach. I just needed to vent, I hope I didn't inadvertantly insult anyone. Please regard it as a miscomunication if I did.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 18:06:32
In reply to My rant, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:58:45
Oh God, I just heard how people are getting crushed against gates trying to get out. And a cop just said 'they're raping children in the superdome'. The reporter said, how do you know? And she said 'because they're coming up to us and telling us'. The reports of good people are mixed in with the bad ones.
Posted by lynn970 on September 2, 2005, at 18:08:11
In reply to My rant, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:58:45
I want to know why levees were not updated. Louisiana knew that the "big one" would come sooner or later. The levees were only strong enough to withstand a category 3 hurricane.
Posted by TamaraJ on September 2, 2005, at 18:08:33
In reply to My rant, posted by TexasChic on September 2, 2005, at 17:58:45
I was thinking the same thing as you. I have just been shaking my head in disbelief at the delayed response the people of the areas hit by Katrina have been subjected to. Deprived of the basic necessicities - water, food, shelter . . . - for four days. It is all so unacceptable, and it is beyond heartbreaking. I agree with you, TexaxChic, the government, IMO (and I am sorry if I offend anyone) was caught with its pants down. It is not like people did not know Katrina was coming. Nor could people not have known the devastation Katrina would have left in her wake, especially after Andrew. I mean, people were being asked/told to evacuate days before Katrina hit. So, why did the government not have an emergency measures plan of some kind in place that could have been implemented once the hurricane passed? I guess that is the question I have, although I know no answers will be forthcoming. Why were trucks not ready to roll into the area with provisions like food water, medical supplies, clothes, etc., to ease some of the suffering these people are experiencing. Why was the possibility of shelter not arranged on a contingency basis, and transportation waiting to roll in and take these people to safey? Why? Why? Why? People should not be standing in the streets screaming We want help! We want help! four days after the fact.
> The government knew it was coming, but they just left it up to the individuals to get themselves out! Why didn't the gov. help them?! So many people had no means to get out! They didn't even try to get the ill, elderly, and children out. Then, knowing the terrible conditions these people were stuck in, they still left them for days in unsafe, unsanitary conditions with no food or water. I just feel like the gov. really dropped the ball on this one. They should have been better prepared to handle this after the 9/11 experience. Its no wonder its chaos and violence, that's the way people get when desperate and scared. And these people are terrified. They think they are forgotten and ignored. They think that because the majority is black that they are not getting the immediate attention they would have otherwise. This whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach. I just needed to vent, I hope I didn't inadvertantly insult anyone. Please regard it as a miscomunication if I did.
>
> -T
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