Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 10:53:29
It makes me feel like such a wimp. Yesterday I had my first ever fender-bender (I was hit from behind) and I'm still shaken up even though I'm fine, I think, and the car had minimal damage.
How can something so small make me fall apart like this? Like everything is out of proportion to its meaning and impact.
Just when I thought I was doing really well! A little thing like this brings me down and glued to my box of tissues. I feel like I'm permamently damaged, to feel so hurt by such a little thing. Like I'm OK as long as things are going along perfectly, but as soon as real life intrudes, the hurt, anxieties and fear are uncovered again. It doesn't feel like a set back so much as something that reveals how superficial my recovery has been.And if anyone tells me to BUCK UP I'll tell them where to BUCK IT.
Posted by sunny10 on March 24, 2005, at 10:57:21
In reply to I don't like me weepy., posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 10:53:29
could it be that you've been "fine" because you're burying feelings?
That's usually why I start crying over the "little stuff"...
Like today...
Posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 11:42:18
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy., posted by sunny10 on March 24, 2005, at 10:57:21
Well, I'd been feeling better overall, on less medications, and not really being able to attribute the feeling better to any thing I've done on my part... but I'm not one to bury my emotions. My feelings are "normally" up front and center, and any attempt to bury them usually results in a banging migraine headache.
I think I'm not as better that I thought I was, and this is how I really am - depressed, weepy, anxious, and feeling pretty darn sorry for myself. And have a whopping load of guilt for feeling bad because I lack for nothing in my life - not love, not material things, not health.
It's this awful feeling that I can't let it all out - I'm at work, sitting at the front desk, the phone doesn't ever stop ringing, and I'm sniffing back all this snot (sorry) and mopping up my mascara before it makes racing stripes down my face. I really want to bawl my eyes out. That's the only thing I'm repressing right now.
I don't like this - been here, done this. Don't like it.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 24, 2005, at 12:01:22
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » sunny10, posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 11:42:18
pc,
chocolate from the easter bunnny is in order..
lvs
Posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 12:17:07
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » partlycloudy, posted by justyourlaugh on March 24, 2005, at 12:01:22
> pc,
> chocolate from the easter bunnny is in order..
> lvsNow THAT sounds like the perfect medication...
Posted by sunny10 on March 24, 2005, at 12:53:32
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » justyourlaugh, posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 12:17:07
do you have a vending machine at work?
Posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 14:21:19
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy., posted by sunny10 on March 24, 2005, at 12:53:32
No, and it is a big deal for me to leave my desk - like to go to the bathroom.
I plan to pick up my chocolate on the way home today :-)
Posted by sunny10 on March 24, 2005, at 14:54:32
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » sunny10, posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 14:21:19
get the five lb bag... oh, and mentally send some my way...
not-so-sunny10
Posted by Phil on March 24, 2005, at 15:27:30
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » sunny10, posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 14:21:19
My drug combo always has chocolate as a major component. It does what it's supposed to do every
time. I can eat it till I hurl.PJ
Posted by gardenergirl on March 24, 2005, at 16:36:12
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » partlycloudy, posted by Phil on March 24, 2005, at 15:27:30
Oh sweetie, that IS a big deal. I cried when I had my accident, too. And worse, I made lots of phone calls to folks because I didn't like sitting there alone (well, the other guy was there, but I felt alone). And I got voice mail everywhere! So it IS a big deal. It's upsetting. I know I would cry. Sometimes that's just how we cope. I know it's embarrassing when others are around, but you know, they can just, well, can't think of anything civil here. I'm sure you get it.
((((pc))))
Sending you sticky chocolate hugs :)
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 17:27:57
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy., posted by gardenergirl on March 24, 2005, at 16:36:12
For sweetening my day. Now I'm home I can cry if I want to.
Posted by anastasia56 on March 24, 2005, at 18:04:50
In reply to Thank you Cadburys, Hershey, and BABBLE, posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 17:27:57
any accident is traumatic. during those first few seconds your body kicks into high adrenaline mode until you know if everything is 'safe'. don't beat yourself up for feeling dramatic over it...it truly was and is a trauma to your body and psyche.
having some easter m&m's for you,
ana
Posted by TamaraJ on March 25, 2005, at 9:20:21
In reply to I don't like me weepy., posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 10:53:29
((((partlycloudy)))
Oh pc, you are not a wimp - you are a human being who experiences a wide range of emotions, all of which are legitimate and add to the strength of your character. I used to think it was wimpy to cry - never let anyone see me cry, who me cry, no way, I'm tough. Hidden behind dark glasses to funerals blah blah blah. But you know what, it takes a stronger person to be able to release the emotion and shed the tears. And, you were in a car accident. It doesn't matter if it was a small accident, it was an accident that left you shaken. You had every right to cry and let it out. That does not mean you are permanently damaged. Most anybody would have reacted the same way. So, don't be hard on yourself.
Take care.
Tamara
> It makes me feel like such a wimp. Yesterday I had my first ever fender-bender (I was hit from behind) and I'm still shaken up even though I'm fine, I think, and the car had minimal damage.
> How can something so small make me fall apart like this? Like everything is out of proportion to its meaning and impact.
> Just when I thought I was doing really well! A little thing like this brings me down and glued to my box of tissues. I feel like I'm permamently damaged, to feel so hurt by such a little thing. Like I'm OK as long as things are going along perfectly, but as soon as real life intrudes, the hurt, anxieties and fear are uncovered again. It doesn't feel like a set back so much as something that reveals how superficial my recovery has been.
>
> And if anyone tells me to BUCK UP I'll tell them where to BUCK IT.
Posted by Susan47 on March 25, 2005, at 16:54:45
In reply to Re: I don't like me weepy. » partlycloudy, posted by TamaraJ on March 25, 2005, at 9:20:21
Im glad you're feeling better with your chocolate, PC. I wish I could make everything go away so you could regroup. I've been where you are, so much, feeling vulnerable and frightened, not exactly ready to fall apart, but falling apart anyway.
Posted by damos on March 25, 2005, at 19:14:47
In reply to I don't like me weepy., posted by partlycloudy on March 24, 2005, at 10:53:29
Sorry to hear you had a bingle and that it's shaken you so.
(((((((((((pc))))))))))
This is the end of the thread.
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