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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by corafree on November 12, 2004, at 14:40:16
I'm feeling cold to the bone, for the losses and misfortunes of the past year, as we enter this devastating holiday season. I live alone, as some know. I just want to curl up in the warm comfort of my now, 'not of this earth' father's throw. It warms the bones, but helps little re: ache in soul. Feel a lot like 'saw', re: father's passing. Then just the living alone. Hard to get out from under Dad's throw and out the door to attend to my life, and for children's sake, the holidays. cf
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 12, 2004, at 17:22:29
In reply to Cold weather/heart/holidays, posted by corafree on November 12, 2004, at 14:40:16
My dear Corafree, I wish you a warm and lovely holiday. I have been alone many years with the holidays. I am no longer alone but we have no love for the holidays.
If I were the king of the forest....I would wrap you in a warm blanket and send you all the love that exists in the world.
Please if you feel like connecting during these holidays I am forever on this site. Let's make a date.
You will not be alone this holiday.
Jai
Posted by Susan47 on November 12, 2004, at 22:15:15
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays, posted by Jai Narayan on November 12, 2004, at 17:22:29
There's a woman who lives nearby and I can see into her apartment, as she can see into mine (and just about anybody else who lives within a dog's breath of my apt.). She's a bit off, (she might be me but she's not, not yet). She's in her fifties, wears miniskirts and bright pink blush (about half a pot every day I'm sure) and glaring lips, also hair pointing kind of at the ceiling kind of at the wall, she's not totally there in her eyes. Okay, she has two christmas trees in her living room at the window and all the walls are spangled up so if she can get the christmas spirit than GD it I will too. I bought PINK fancy tinsel garland the other day, and am going to do what I've wanted to do ever since I was a little girl. This year, I'm going to have a WHITE FAKE christmas tree with pink tinsel and decorations.
Posted by boomarang on November 12, 2004, at 23:51:11
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays, posted by Jai Narayan on November 12, 2004, at 17:22:29
hi jai,
so sorry you have been alone for many holidays, that is always difficult during the 'happy' season. But now you say you are not alone anymore but the holidays still aren't fun for you? Why?
sara
Posted by corafree on November 13, 2004, at 2:20:42
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays, posted by Jai Narayan on November 12, 2004, at 17:22:29
Oh thank god you answered .. I guess we know each other, in a way. I live in a big metro. I packed enough for an overnight out by my children, and the stepfather, the ex who beat me around. My daughter called, said she had put in a load of laundry at his house, and was coming over here to put in another load. She said she'd be back w/ some white spaghetti (garlic, butter, white cheese) in a little bit. In the meantime, I called Brad's (my ex-husband) home and cell to ask if she could bring back a night light bulb and some two-sided white sticky tape. No one bothered call me back or stop. I'M SAD. I try so immensely hard to keep on movin' own; then no replies, respect, caring; so insignificant as not to deserve return phone call?! I give & give, try & try, even hand my last dollar to children; yet they cannot see me, the grief, the tiring of falling to sleep alone & awakening the same. I'm sorry ... I'm angry. Thank you for what you said. I am one of few that live in Mountain time, so CA is just two hours behind me. Anybody out there could still be awake. I tried babble you, but you are not set up? What is wrong w/ families today? I know, from what you said, the grass isn't always greener on the other side; you're not alone either Jai...I'll help you through. Your response warmed my soul. I was literally bawling beneath tons of covers, but now a little warmer, a little more proud of us and, forgive me, but ashamed of others. cf
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 13, 2004, at 14:34:59
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays » Jai Narayan, posted by boomarang on November 12, 2004, at 23:51:11
>But now you say you are not alone anymore but the holidays still aren't fun for you? Why?
sara
I work retail and this is when my department makes the most amount of money.
So I have to work my tail end off,
sweat all the choices I make,
endure criticism,
get upset when people break, steal or return products
and all the while enduring the agitated energy of a frustrated shopper.
All in the name of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.
There are a few other holidays but those are not so impactful.
So for the last 12 1/2 years this has been my life.That's why I dread the holidays.
Jai
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 13, 2004, at 14:42:17
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays » Jai Narayan, posted by corafree on November 13, 2004, at 2:20:42
I gotta say that being a mom is next to being a saint.
Really if there could be a new religion I would vote for the adoration of moms.
(Dad's are good too)
I don't know how moms do it?
My work is very demanding but nothing like having children.
So Corafree....
Just know that I have you surrounded by votive candles and I am sending you a prayer.You are special and significant.
Jai
Posted by boomarang on November 13, 2004, at 18:32:28
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays, posted by Jai Narayan on November 13, 2004, at 14:34:59
ah, retail. Been there, done that. The holidays are mad there.
sara
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 14, 2004, at 10:40:25
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays » Jai Narayan, posted by boomarang on November 13, 2004, at 18:32:28
How did you get out?
I have been here too long 12 1/2 years and now I'm too old 56 to change careers.
Just really not sure what to do to earn money.
Jai
Posted by corafree on November 14, 2004, at 15:56:01
In reply to Re: Cold weather/heart/holidays, posted by Jai Narayan on November 14, 2004, at 10:40:25
Did you see the post in social re: tutoring. Think I titled it something like $$$ want to make it on my own !!!. Not sure what you're lookin' for, but I'd like to do it in future. Right now, overwhelmed, self-esteem low, courage maybe 2 on 1-5 scale, grief high, lots of doc appts, but saved. Try and I'll try too, cf
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