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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by iris2 on October 24, 2004, at 10:27:51
Have to make this one quick because I am already half an hour late and someone is waiting for me.
Is this site for any discussion? Correct me if I am wrong in posting what I am going to now okay anybody. I will have more to say but as I said time is short.
I am very upset about my Mother. For at least a year now she has had a terrible time walking. It has progressed more and more. Every time I ask her about it even when she is with me I get a different reason. It generally is something about her back. Lately her hips. I cannot pin down to try and figure out what is wrong. My entire life she would not walk much and always very slow. Okay so now I have to stop getting angry because she is no longer drying wolf anymore but at 73 really cannot almost walk and I do not know why. A couple of months ago I yelled at her and she went to the doctor. She told me she had gone for this before. He sent her to physical therapy. I talked at length with her about it and she said she would make it like a job that she was obligated to go. Then I found out she went twice in about two weeks and stopped going. I asked her because when we went out she could not walk again. So now she said she is going to the therapy three times a week and she does not like a lot of it, which means she is not doing a lot of it, I know her. Her walking is so bad now that when SI took her to the mall she could only walk about the length of three stores before she was in terrible pain and had to stop. We also had to walk so slow it was almost at a stand still. She does not realize that at this rate she will be in a wheel chair within a year or less. She has a few stairs in her new home which I tried to talk them out of buying a retirement place with stairs when she already had problems with them. My father told her she was not going to be able to go up them soon. He is right. She gets very defensive and says sarcastically that she will crawl. I think they will end up selling a place they have not even finished fixing up yet.
She does not understand how hurt, frustrated and upset her not being able to walk makes me. Especially since I think it might be peripheral vascular disease or peripheral artery disease. These things need to be taken care of immediately. She has all the symptoms and was a heavy smoker does not exercise, is overweight and is diabetic.What I am particularly upset about is that for the last few months to a year she has told me at my insistence that she has gone to the doctor. She went only because she was in pain. Now, yesterday she told me, because again I asked the right question, that she has never told the doctor that she has trouble walking except I guess for the pain. So no one of consequence knows that my mother cannot walk for more then 20 steps or so without stopping and being out of breath and in pain and who knows what. She has some cognitive problems and might not communicate well but she made it quite clear to me that she never told him.
Here is my dilemma. I want to speak with her doctor. I am not sure he will take me seriously. He will listen though. She was furious when I suggested going with her because she said I would not be quite. I guess I was pretty verbal yesterday as I am so upset. I do not want her to be in a wheel chair especially if it can be avoided!! So I am thinking of calling or writing to the doctor. The whole thing is even more complicated because the doctor is her friend as in going out outside of the office. Obviously they have not gone out for quite some time else he could not but observe her problem.
Okay so should I call or write the doctor. She needs someone to intervene and it does not look like my father is going to do anything but yell at her and probably make it less likely that she will tell the doc because she will be embarrassed???
irene
Posted by octopusprime on October 24, 2004, at 14:07:52
In reply to My Mother, posted by iris2 on October 24, 2004, at 10:27:51
iris,
i am so sorry about your mom. it's hard to watch people we love age less than gracefully.
but i don't know if you want to call her doctor? the doctor can't force your mother to accept help if she doesn't want it.
it must be so frustrating to lack support. your best bet i think would be to lovingly talk to your mom with whatever family support you can muster up. maybe talk to your dad about toning down the yelling?
i don't know what your family dynamics are like, though.
((iris)). my thoughts are with you
Posted by iris2 on October 25, 2004, at 18:03:33
In reply to Re: My Mother » iris2, posted by octopusprime on October 24, 2004, at 14:07:52
Thanks,
I talked to her and she said she was going to tell them at physical therapy and talk to her docter. Today she told me first that she lied to the physical therapist but they told her to walk every day then she said no she told them the truth. I will never know what she told them. She said she called the docter but he did not call back. That will not help. She will not tell him the truth even though I tried to drill it into her. I do not think she actually understands how bad it actually is. That is not something I can drill into her it would be mean. Talking with my father is a waste of time. He has done the same thing to me all my life. He will critisise intently but never provide any emotional support, in fact he is more likely to tear you apart and blame you for everything that is wrong.
irene
This is the end of the thread.
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