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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 17:47:03
How important are my feelings? I used to know. Now I'm not so sure.
I always found it easy to seek out feelings in order to spackle over my image of self. I was lost in my blizzard of feelings.
Once I decoded my image of self and the interconnectedness of my feelings to my motives and my behaviors, I found that I had an ongoing sublime waltz with my life at stake. I was creating and carrying feelings as the basis of my life 99% of the time.
Isn't life about more than just feelings? I wasn't finding fulfilment from my feelings. Never could. Always confused. Never fulfilled. But wasn't I always doing what I was supposed to do? I had discovered the cause of my chronic anger and upsettness. Upsetness? Isn't that a feeling?
Sidenote: When I die, my feelings, along with my motives, die with me. These are two of the three things I can change about my life, and they die with me, leaving no trace of my success at changing them. What is left are my actions as a chronical of my behavior, which will be how I am remembered.
So, how important is this or that feeling I might have?
Rod
Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2004, at 21:21:56
In reply to Feelings ...more or less..., posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 17:47:03
You're right. For the most part all others care about is actions, not feelings. At the very least, people pretty much don't give more weight to your feelings than you yourself do. So any honoring of your own feelings needs to come first from you. Only you can answer how important they are.
So how important are your feelings, Rod? How much honor do you give this gift from the source of all gifts?
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on September 20, 2004, at 0:22:39
In reply to Feelings ...more or less..., posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 17:47:03
Well, I think feelings help make up who we are. We are more than just thoughts. Even numbness is still feeling.
What caught my eye in your post is you stated that you use to know how important your feelings were. What separated you from them?
Posted by AuntieMel on September 20, 2004, at 13:36:53
In reply to Feelings ...more or less..., posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 17:47:03
Actions are important...
But the motives for the actions come from feelings. Or they come coldly from a need to manipulate.
Doesn't that matter? Can't people tell the difference?
If not the man on the street, then certainly those we are closest can tell between good motives and bad.
And that is where our feelings live on. In the hearts and minds of those we are close to. And they pass it along to those they touch.
In this way, for good or bad, we are all immortal.
For me, getting the feelings and my rational mind to agree pose the biggest problems.
Posted by Dinah on September 20, 2004, at 13:53:46
In reply to Re: Feelings ...more or less..., posted by AuntieMel on September 20, 2004, at 13:36:53
Mine neither notice nor particularly care about feelings, as long as I behave well. And they'll tell you as much, too.
(Except my son of course. He doesn't appear to notice, youngster that he is, but he would never tell me outright like the rest of them that what I feel doesn't matter.)
Posted by gardenergirl on September 20, 2004, at 14:23:45
In reply to Feelings ...more or less..., posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 17:47:03
Rod,
I think feelings are an integral component to human experience. Without them, we might as well be computers. I wouldn't trade them or diminish mine for the world.gg
Posted by RosieOGrady on September 20, 2004, at 15:13:13
In reply to Feelings ...more or less..., posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 17:47:03
I think you should ask someone about Marsha Linehans term Wise Mind. This is something that transcends Emotion and Reason without denying either one of them. It isn't either/or. It's possible to value your feeling and feel your feelings without being caught helpless in a blizzard. Sometimes it's painful but it's worth it. Never be afraid or ashamed of being human and having human feelings.
Anger/upsettedness is a feeling and like all feelings it has something to tell you. Feeling unfulfilled was valuable as a message to you that something in your life wasn't working, right? If you are satisfied with the resolution you reached regaurding those feelings don't the feelings get credit for leading you in that direction? And if you feel satisfied with the way you lead your life now, isn't that a feeling too which is giving you feedback and I assume is pleasant to you?
Posted by AuntieMel on September 20, 2004, at 15:26:46
In reply to Your loved ones must be perceptive » AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on September 20, 2004, at 13:53:46
I never said that they care about my feelings. And I don't think that is important for what I am talking about.
I am more talking about the concept that our feelings die when we do. I think that our feelings *do* affect the people close to us and in that matter we are all immortal. You and your feelings influence the way your son feels and his feelings will carry on to the people around him.
And to some point, we influence strangers. A thank you or a smile has repurcussions, as do complaints and sneers.
So, others might not care about our feelings, but they do matter to others.
and i'm having one of those days where my mind is clear but it can't get through the fingers.....
This is the end of the thread.
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