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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
today i'm worried.
i'm worried about a new car in the driveway that i wasn't even told about (not that i should assume he has to ask me before buying a car, but a quick note saying he was would be nice.)
i'm worried about money.
i'm worried that all the 'fairy tales' i have in my head aren't going to happen.
i'm worried there's no one here to hold me and tell me everything's ok.
i'm worried about running home to my mother and she'll just tell me to stop crying and grow up.
i'm worried i'm not living life the way i should be.
i'm worried about my present, past and future (actually i'm terrified about my future).
i'm worried i'll never be able to take care of myself or find someone to take care of me.
i'm still worried i'm the little girl that no one wants and that worries me the most.
this list could go on forever, but i'll stop here.
Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2004, at 19:09:36
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
>>i'm still worried i'm the little girl that no one wants.
Karen,
I want you.
Falls.
Posted by Jai Narayan on July 5, 2004, at 21:45:56
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
I know sometimes things can look bleak.
I get scared too.
I love you and care deeply.
Hold on and breath....remember that life does get better. It's one heart beat away.
love you
Posted by All Done on July 5, 2004, at 22:17:00
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
(((((Miss Karen))))),
You know that I worry enough for the both of us and more. Let me worry today (and tomorrow and the next day and the next day if you need it, too). Then, instead of worrying, you can spend your time and energy thinking of what a wonderful person you are.
I believe you will work things out with your old man if you want to. But first, throw a table or two in his direction for me.
I believe you are resourceful and you have your house painting job. You can work out the money stuff.
I believe you will make your fairy tales happen someday.
I believe everything is going to be okay and while I'm not there to hug you (this will have to do - (((((kk)))))), you can call me and I'll tell you it's going to be okay.
I believe your mom loves you and wants what's best for you even if she doesn't always say the right things.
I believe you are living a beautiful life. You're kind, caring, compassionate, lovable, funny and you genuinely, genuinely care about others.
I believe your past has shaped the person you are, the present is the person we love so dearly, and your future, well, let's just say I believe you are destined for greatness.
I believe you will find the perfect someone who will love you so much and take care of you exactly as much as you need to be taken care of. And that love will breed the confidence you need to take care of yourself when you need to as well.
I believe that there are more people that want you than you know.
I believe in you.
Gosh, Miss Karen. I wish I knew all the right things to say to make you feel better. Things will be okay. Hang in there, sweetie.
(((((((Karen)))))))
Laurie
Posted by octopusprime on July 5, 2004, at 22:19:49
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
kk i wish i could hold you and tell you everything is ok.
well i'll just tell you that everything *is* ok kk.
we do want you and we care.
i hate hate hate that it's so painful to find your own path. i hate hate hate that it's so painful when your gut is giving you a little message but your head and heart is not in line. and i'm sorry you have to go through it.
but the pain is temporary kk, please hold on. these things have a way of working themselves out. *you* will find away. take care of yourself. deep breaths, ice cream ...
Posted by desufnoc on July 6, 2004, at 2:37:45
In reply to Re: about miss karen, posted by octopusprime on July 5, 2004, at 22:19:49
I just wanted to say that I appreciate your honesty in admitting all that you are worried about. I don't know that I could do the same.
Peace.
Posted by fallsfall on July 6, 2004, at 6:25:53
In reply to Re: about miss karen, posted by desufnoc on July 6, 2004, at 2:37:45
I'm thinking of you this morning and hoping that you slept well last night. Be patient with yourself. Have ice cream for breakfast and cream of wheat for lunch. Pamper your self today (if you have trouble doing that then I can make it an order instead of a suggestion).
It WILL be OK. I promise. After all, you have the perfect name.
If you still feel this badly in a day or two you should call Bubba.
(((((Karen)))))
Sending love,
Falls.
Posted by fallsfall on July 6, 2004, at 7:23:27
In reply to Re: about miss karen » desufnoc, posted by fallsfall on July 6, 2004, at 6:25:53
Posted by partlycloudy on July 6, 2004, at 7:48:39
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
(((KK))) It took me a while to digest your post, sweetie, because it was a startling look into in own head. I've had these same worries for most of my life - and I have a 20 year head start on you! Let me try to give you the perspective that these extra years have given me on these worries...
> today i'm worried.
>
> i'm worried about a new car in the driveway that i wasn't even told about (not that i should assume he has to ask me before buying a car, but a quick note saying he was would be nice.)Talking to each other would be a GOOD THING - does he know how freaked out this made you?
>
> i'm worried about money.*sigh* Who isn't? You look in the driveway and see a new bill; you look at your summer job and you see uncertainty. This,unfortunately, is so normal and a really nasty rite of passage, I think.
>
> i'm worried that all the 'fairy tales' i have in my head aren't going to happen.My fairy tales get re-written every couple of years. Just think of what you dreamed of at age 10; at age 15. Don't be afraid of having to come up with new ones now.
>
> i'm worried there's no one here to hold me and tell me everything's ok.Yes, wouldn't an understanding mom have come in handy now?? Mine doesn't ever seem to know what to say to comfort me; she might as well be talking to someone she met on the street. So I find comfort in other places. In the friends i have managed to cultivate; in music, in books, and from within. We have a remarkable power to heal ourselves: you give everyone here so much comfort and encouragement - you know that it's there for you to give to yourself, too. Let that healing energy that you direct outwards and reflect it upon yourself. You're a healer, KK.
>
> i'm worried about running home to my mother and she'll just tell me to stop crying and grow up.See above. When I finally accepted that my mom did not have the ability to give me the sympathy, understanding, and support I craved so badly; when I saw it as a shortcoming in HER and not in me; it felt better (but you never stop wishing for that mom).
>
> i'm worried i'm not living life the way i should be.Hmmmm. I'm still working on that one. Perhaps that's the journey we take every day, to try to find that path and do the best we can to get there.
>
> i'm worried about my present, past and future (actually i'm terrified about my future).I think we can all eventually come to terms with our past, though it may take many years; I think that being worried about our present is what drives us to change and hopefully improve; I think that worrying about our future is human nature.
>
> i'm worried i'll never be able to take care of myself or find someone to take care of me.OK, so after having 20 years on you here, I can say that once I stopped being afraid of taking care of myself, it became much easier. Once I stopped trying to find someone to take care of me, I became a more content person.
>
> i'm still worried i'm the little girl that no one wants and that worries me the most.That little girl is safe. She's wanted, she's not invisible, she's inside KK. If you met that little girl today, what would you tell her?
>
> this list could go on forever, but i'll stop here.I hope that you feel that you're not alone in your concerns and worries, Karen. It's this part of growing that is one of the most painful things I've gone through yet. It does make us stronger.
love,
pc
Posted by Emme on July 6, 2004, at 8:12:56
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
I'm sorry you're feeling bad about so many things. I wish I could tame all your fears. You are most certainly wanted here. And you're such a kind person I can't imagine anyone IRL not wanting you!
((((KK))))
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 6, 2004, at 8:26:01
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
Missy Karen,
I see a big SHOULD in your post and that is a no no! I also see fears of what others think about you. That is a big no no!
What helps me when I start thinking these worries (and they are a daily part of my life, believe me, your exact ones) is I get out my list of rational thoughts which addresses each and every one of these worries and pretend they are dead horses and beat them with a stick.
You said Bubba was CBT. DId you come up with a list of rational thoughts to deal with your anxieties?
Posted by karen_kay on July 6, 2004, at 9:12:43
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
i feel better today. i think the liquor from the weekend caught up with me yesterday (and i'm NEVER drinking again :)
i've decided to not worry about the car anymore. he's responsible and knows what he's doing. it's in his name, not mine. i'll worry about him, but not the car.
i'll still worry about money, but don't we all?
the 'fairy tales': how can i not worry about them? i'll worry half as much and work twice as hard to make them happen. is that a good plan?
my dog will always hold me. and i have plenty of people who can tell me everything's ok, even if they can't hold me when they say it. so, i can get what i need, even if it's not at the same time.
i think i may be right about my mother, but i can always run home to my sister and she'd never tell me to stop crying. and i still know my mother loves me very much (she looked so lovely this weekend too!).
heck, i know i'm doing everything right! what was i worried about?
i always worry about my future. but, i think that's because i'm hesitant to make decisions that i really need to. perhaps this is a good learning experience for me?
about taking care of myself: i think i'm doing fine right now. i don't see any reason for that to change anytime soon.
about that little girl that no one wants: my beautiful niece wants to sit on my lap all the time (and i'm going to steal that little girl one day, i promise!!!!), any of my sisters would be here in a minute if i called them, my old man still puts up with my crap, and i still want me.
thanks everyone for saying the right things. you're all amazing! and i really feel much better today. promise!
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 6, 2004, at 9:50:30
In reply to Re: about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 6, 2004, at 9:12:43
Now those are good, rational thoughts! Bean would say those were beautiful thoughts.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 6, 2004, at 10:50:37
In reply to Re: about miss karen » karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 6, 2004, at 9:50:30
KK,
I am a day late and a dollar short, here. But I wanted to let you know that you are loved, you are wanted, you are beautiful, and you are okay. I sincerely believe that you have a beautiful spirit, a kind heart, an empathic nature, and a spunky style. How can you go wrong with that? And if you do, that's okay too. You are still loved, you are still wanted, you are still beautiful, and you are still okay.Just as you are.
(((((((Karen Kay)))))))
gg
Posted by daisym on July 8, 2004, at 0:38:44
In reply to Re: about miss karen, posted by gardenergirl on July 6, 2004, at 10:50:37
Karen,
I'm late...again.It's OK to worry about yourself and your dreams. Just as long as it is motivating in some way and not overwhelming. It reminds us that we still have so much to do with our lives.
It sounds to me like you are taking very good care of that fragile sweet little girl inside you. She needs you to love her and protect her.
Never forget we here love her...and you too.
*smiles*
Daisy
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