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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyr. on June 1, 2004, at 0:43:52
I found out yesterday that the guy that sexauly abused me for yrs when i was a child is in jail for drug dealing. they finally got him. I don't know how many kids he abused, but i of 2 and girl that i babysat for, she didn't say it in to many words but i caught on.
I been having a fload of memberies of what he did to me that i can't sleep, I keep dreaming that i'm being abused all over again. how do i stop thinking about it?
Posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 8:55:46
In reply to forgive forget / hate remember, posted by kellyr. on June 1, 2004, at 0:43:52
This news is churning up all sorts of memories and fears - I should think it would be unusual not to be upset just at having this person resurface even if it's good news.
I'm sorry it's upsetting you - do you have an appointment with your therapist coming up soon?
Posted by kellyr. on June 1, 2004, at 12:42:15
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember » kellyr., posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 8:55:46
> This news is churning up all sorts of memories and fears - I should think it would be unusual not to be upset just at having this person resurface even if it's good news.
>
> I'm sorry it's upsetting you - do you have an appointment with your therapist coming up soon?
>
I have a Therapist appointment on friday this week, i was wondering if i should call him, i don't want i seem like a baby for calling him. kellyr.
Posted by Racer on June 1, 2004, at 13:07:14
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember » partlycloudy, posted by kellyr. on June 1, 2004, at 12:42:15
Call him. It's not being a "baby" -- it's a crisis, even if it seems to you that you're overreacting to nothing current. Calling your therapist in a crisis is considered normal.
I went through something similar about 15 years ago. The man who subjected me to years of emotional and sexual abuse died, and I broke into tiny pieces -- and berated myself daily for being affected by it. It would have been much healthier for me to have gotten therapy at the time (no means of access then) and would have processed all the perfectly appropriate feelings about it. Hearing about him at all probably brought up the memories and feelings for you now, as it did for me then. For me, knowing he was dead was no relief, somehow. It felt as if it hurt worse that nothing ever happened to him for what he did to me, and to others. In a lot of ways, I'm still not over it -- neither the abuse itself, nor the trauma his death caused me.
When I was in college, my college roommate's coworker was raped at work. She came to stay with us for a few days, and I was there when the police came to interview her with pictures. She identified the rapist, and the detective closed the folder and said something like, "OK, that's over then -- we found his body this morning." Then he left. That poor girl was devastated -- it certainly wasn't anything like over for her, but there was nowhere to focus that upset. I think we need some sort of action in order to close out the trauma, and most of us never get it. That, of course, is what therapy provides us.
My heart goes out to you, kellyr, and I wish you the best.
Posted by Noa on June 2, 2004, at 19:37:07
In reply to forgive forget / hate remember, posted by kellyr. on June 1, 2004, at 0:43:52
Kelly, I think partlycloudy and Racer said it well. It is hard when memories get stirred up by news about the abuser, etc. Definitely call your therapist--it is not being a baby at all.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 21:19:19
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember » kellyr., posted by Noa on June 2, 2004, at 19:37:07
Kelly,
I recently had the same dilemma...do I call my T when I really feel like I need to see him before my next scheduled appt.? Will that make me look dependent? Does that matter? Am I worse off than I thought? All I can say is, I'm glad I called him and I did get to see him earlier. It's worth it if you are hurting.((((kellyr)))) Glad you are posting!
gg
Posted by kellyr. on June 4, 2004, at 22:16:57
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember, posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 21:19:19
I hate my T he doesn't listen to me, he does all the talking, Don't get me wronge he a nice guy and all but I think i need a new T mybe a female.
Posted by Noa on June 5, 2004, at 11:17:36
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember, posted by kellyr. on June 4, 2004, at 22:16:57
Kelly, that is a shame that your T does all the talking. Didn't you used to have a female T in the past?
Do you have access to other therapists?
Posted by kellyr. on June 5, 2004, at 18:17:03
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember » kellyr., posted by Noa on June 5, 2004, at 11:17:36
> Kelly, that is a shame that your T does all the talking. Didn't you used to have a female T in the past?
>
> Do you have access to other therapists?I did have a female T but she said that i need more help then she could give me. I could ask for a new T but i think i might talk to him first about the problem if it doesn't help then i'll get a new T, or i could tell him that i would feel more better w/ a female T. I wish I could have my old T back. I have no insurince so it's hard to go somewhere else. i've been paying w/ my own money.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 18:33:00
In reply to Re: forgive forget / hate remember » Noa, posted by kellyr. on June 5, 2004, at 18:17:03
Kelly,
That's really tough. Sometimes my T talks more than I would like. Sometimes I just talk over him, which is odd. But I'm sorry yours talks so much. I do think, as noa said, that you might try talking to him about this. He may not even be aware.good luck, dear.
gg
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