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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan J on June 1, 2004, at 10:27:06
Brother and wife in messy separation/divorce. No formal custody agreement. Brother is supposed to have the kid on Monday all day, his day. Sis-in-law turns her phone off Monday morning so my brother can't contact her. Left a message saying regardless of whether she calls back, he's picking the baby up at 10am. She immediately calls back and said she didn't agree to 10am, and wouldn't give him up until after noon.....
She's been a real jerk for the past 8 months or so, but it hasn't really detrimentally affected the baby. NOW she's playing games with my brother using the baby as the bait. I hate her. I hate the pain she's causing everyone. I hope it doesn't get to N, the baby, but he seemed really wound up when my brother got him back, and then the kid slept 4 straight hours yesterday afternoon, which he never does.
I know she's in pain, probably depressed out of her mind. I can totally relate. But I can't stand it when she plays mind games with my brother and tries to hurt him.....why does she do it and what would stop her? My brother is polite to her, but told her to please follow the visitation schedule and that way they'd never have to see each other. I think she wants the attention/reaction from my brother, even if it's only NEGATIVE attention/reaction she elicits from him. Anyway to take the wind out of her sails?
My brother is an angel in this. I know that sounds subjective, but believe me, he's so nice I think he's being WAY too much of a pushover. I want him to have some backbone, daggit.
Posted by Emme on June 1, 2004, at 21:46:12
In reply to I hate my sis-in-law, posted by Susan J on June 1, 2004, at 10:27:06
Ah geez, I'm sorry to hear your family is still going through this hell. It doesn't sound like it's simmered down any. Is your brother keeping a careful log of all of his interactions with your sister-in-law? And of things like the state of the child when he sees him? Is his lawyer competent?
It sounds like she's trying to really stir up conflict. At least your brother's not stooping to her level, even if he's more lenient than he should be. Someone I knew managed to gain control over a lot of situations by coldly stating "That is not acceptable." Sounds too simple but it worked for her. Of course your sister-in-law seems to defy all expectations of normal human behavior.
Good luck to you all and I'm so sorry that your nephew is caught in all this. Poor fella.
Emme
> Brother and wife in messy separation/divorce. No formal custody agreement. Brother is supposed to have the kid on Monday all day, his day. Sis-in-law turns her phone off Monday morning so my brother can't contact her. Left a message saying regardless of whether she calls back, he's picking the baby up at 10am. She immediately calls back and said she didn't agree to 10am, and wouldn't give him up until after noon.....
>
> She's been a real jerk for the past 8 months or so, but it hasn't really detrimentally affected the baby. NOW she's playing games with my brother using the baby as the bait. I hate her. I hate the pain she's causing everyone. I hope it doesn't get to N, the baby, but he seemed really wound up when my brother got him back, and then the kid slept 4 straight hours yesterday afternoon, which he never does.
>
> I know she's in pain, probably depressed out of her mind. I can totally relate. But I can't stand it when she plays mind games with my brother and tries to hurt him.....why does she do it and what would stop her? My brother is polite to her, but told her to please follow the visitation schedule and that way they'd never have to see each other. I think she wants the attention/reaction from my brother, even if it's only NEGATIVE attention/reaction she elicits from him. Anyway to take the wind out of her sails?
>
> My brother is an angel in this. I know that sounds subjective, but believe me, he's so nice I think he's being WAY too much of a pushover. I want him to have some backbone, daggit.
>
Posted by TexasChic on June 3, 2004, at 15:56:05
In reply to Re: I hate my sis-in-law » Susan J, posted by Emme on June 1, 2004, at 21:46:12
Emme's right, he should definately document everything that happens. If she doesn't change her attitude, which it doesn't sound as if she will, this will probably turn into a custody battle. If I were your brother, I would get the lawyers involved at this point. He needs someone not emotionally involved to give him advice on how to proceed.
Keep an eye on little N, he has no control over the situation. Children need all the advocates they can get.
This is the end of the thread.
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