![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angel Girl on May 29, 2004, at 11:23:57
I have been a pessimist my entire life and am so accustomed to negative thinking that I don't know how to change that into positive thinking. I think it stems from always being put down and degraded while growing up. My parents never once told me they loved me, although I'm sure they did and they never once told me that I did a good job on anything. I've tried cognitive therapy and I just couldn't seem to find a positive thought to replace my negative one. I see things irrationally and see alterior motives in what is said to me by 'normal' people. I just can't find a way to exchange my negative thinking into positive thinking.
Does anybody else have this problem or is it just me?
Angel Girl
Posted by Angel Girl on May 30, 2004, at 22:49:22
In reply to Postive thinking, posted by Angel Girl on May 29, 2004, at 11:23:57
Posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2004, at 23:21:00
In reply to Postive thinking, posted by Angel Girl on May 29, 2004, at 11:23:57
Hi Angel Girl,
For some reason, I didn't see your post earlier. You probably already know this, but negative thinking is such an evil part of depression. It's circular. Negative thinking is a symptom of depression, AND the more negative your thinking gets, the more likely you are to be depressed. I had a similar childhood in that nothing I ever did was enough. There was always some aspect to what could be called praise that suggested what I did wrong or could improve. I'm a big proponent of the concept of "enough" now. That we are okay just as we are. It is enough. (That doesn't mean we can't choose self-improvement, but we don't need to beat ourselves up over stuff.)I'm sorry CBT wasn't helpful for you. If negative thinking and irrational thinking is primary thing for you, it's a good way to address it. But it can come across as very critical to sensitive people (like me). Who wants to be told they are irrational, after all? If you can remember that you came by this negative thinking honestly...it's not a flaw or your fault, it helps. Then you can think of trying to identify and change negative beliefs similarly to working out to tone and develop certain aspects of your body. If your abs are weak, you do crunches, right? If your thinking is off (again, you came by it honestly), then you have to do brain-crunches.
Another way to go, however, is to try a therapy that is more expressive and validating. You may not work directly on irrational or negative beliefs, but as you start to feel better through expressing yourself to someone who gives you unconditional positive value, then your thinking starts to change as depression alleviates.
We all respond in our own unique way to therapy and to our symptoms. I hope you can find an approach that is helpful for you. You deserve it!
Take care,
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on May 31, 2004, at 6:34:25
In reply to Re: Postive thinking » Angel Girl, posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2004, at 23:21:00
Angel Girl, your post hit too close to home for me to reply right away. I haven't been successful with CBT and stopping those negative self thoughts either. Makes you feel even worse when you think you can't do therapy that has helped oodles of other people.
I am trying to tap into my creativity for validation and expression. In my youth I loved drawing, painting, making things. I have had a collection of sea glass for years now. Three months ago I bought the tools for wire making jewellery so I could make something with it all. It took me until YESTERDAY to even start something.
I was afraid of wasting material, money, time, on something that would be cr*p. I sweated, my hands were shaking like I had a gazillion cups of coffee, and my first attempt looks like I didn't know what I was doing. But I had such a sense of accomplishment afterwards: I made something!! That it really has been better than any CBT I've attempted til now.
I think positive thinking can happen from positive actions. Do something that speaks to your heart, as scary as it seems. Just try it.
((((Angel Girl))))
pc
Posted by Angel Girl on May 31, 2004, at 19:31:11
In reply to Re: Postive thinking » Angel Girl, posted by gardenergirl on May 30, 2004, at 23:21:00
gg
I might not have given cognitive therapy the most effort, although I did find it extremely difficult. I've only seen one therapist and she was very belittling and condesending towards me. That certainly didn't help with my negative thinking, it made me worse. I ended up leaving her and I'm currently looking for somebody else. I'm also extremely sensitive.
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on May 31, 2004, at 19:37:54
In reply to Re: Postive thinking » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on May 31, 2004, at 6:34:25
> Angel Girl, your post hit too close to home for me to reply right away. I haven't been successful with CBT and stopping those negative self thoughts either. Makes you feel even worse when you think you can't do therapy that has helped oodles of other people.
>
> I am trying to tap into my creativity for validation and expression. In my youth I loved drawing, painting, making things. I have had a collection of sea glass for years now. Three months ago I bought the tools for wire making jewellery so I could make something with it all. It took me until YESTERDAY to even start something.
>
> I was afraid of wasting material, money, time, on something that would be cr*p. I sweated, my hands were shaking like I had a gazillion cups of coffee, and my first attempt looks like I didn't know what I was doing. But I had such a sense of accomplishment afterwards: I made something!! That it really has been better than any CBT I've attempted til now.
>
> I think positive thinking can happen from positive actions. Do something that speaks to your heart, as scary as it seems. Just try it.
> ((((Angel Girl))))
> pc
pcTo be perfectly honest with you, I don't even know what that is. I've lost interest in everything. Somehow I have to find something positive to get me out of this. I'm just don't know what.
AG
Posted by partlycloudy on May 31, 2004, at 19:58:10
In reply to Re: Postive thinking » partlycloudy, posted by Angel Girl on May 31, 2004, at 19:37:54
If you could escape from where and who you are,
where would you be, and who would you like to be?
Posted by Angel Girl on May 31, 2004, at 20:16:15
In reply to Re: Postive thinking » Angel Girl, posted by partlycloudy on May 31, 2004, at 19:58:10
> If you could escape from where and who you are,
> where would you be, and who would you like to be?
>
That's the $1,000,000 question. I wish I knew the answer.AG
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.