![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by owenus32 on May 26, 2004, at 12:16:39
I have a career I've worked in for 4 years and was laid off. I was afraid of everyone and so isolated but they cut me slack. Eventually though I got better but my prior attitude towards others still lingered and I ended up being laid off bc I wasn't in a good spot when the firings came. I am sober in AA, diagnosed as medium depression severe anxiety and maybe mild bipolar.I just wonder if I don't change and can't hold a career what do I do? Live on the streets? I just wonder. I guess I could "survive" by working in a less stressful thing than advertising but I just wonder
Posted by Racer on May 26, 2004, at 14:30:02
In reply to What If I can't hold down a job?, posted by owenus32 on May 26, 2004, at 12:16:39
If you're worrying about that, no wonder you're anxious. That sounds flip, even to me, but it's meant sincerely. That's such an overwhelming life issue that it'll set the sanest person living onto the thin edge. Can you see if you can put that thought out of your mind? (Yes, practical suggestions are coming, but that would be a good first step for easing your distress.) It's Tolstoy's White Bear, but if you can let go of the Big Picture, and concentrate on the details that make it up, I'd bet you'd at least feel a bit better.
For practical suggestions, I guess I'm hardly the poster child for success. I have lowered my ambitions over and over again, and can't live up to any of them, so I worry about the same thing. Last ditch effort, to keep yourself off the streets, is Social Security. That's the final answer, and it's not a good one, but it's better than thinking in terms of living on the streets. Between where you are now and all that, though, you've got a lot of incremental options. Once that anxiety kicks in, you may not be able to see them, but they exist. Advertising, huh?
1. Moderate your ambitions and look for a smaller agency, or one that caters to a less glamorous clientele. A smaller firm with less competition for its clients may have an easier time accommodating your reserved demeanor, and since smaller firms tend to have less turnover, your coworkers may adjust and learn to say, "Oh, well, that's just how owenus32 is" when you're particularly withdrawn.
2. Look at your core competencies and see what other interesting careers are open within them. I'm actually thinking that something like creating informational campaigns for science related subjects might be a perfect fit for you -- a lot of scientists are more than a bit socially withdrawn, so you'd get empathy rather than sympathy, and even if you had contact with a very social scientist, at least you'd just look like another scientist ;-) Also, scientists tend to have a certain distrust of the high pressure advertising types, so a nice, quiet, competant advertising advisor would be a great find for them.
3. Non-profit organizations are another avenue to explore. Believe it or not, a lot of non-profits pay pretty darn well, and there's always a need for people who can get the word out for them. PR advisors are very important, and there's usually a pretty good understanding of people with personalities a little out of step with Corporate Sector. That's one of those win-win situations, too, since they'll get someone who has the high caliber skills to make it in the private sector, while you'll get a more accommodating environment and the satisfaction of knowing you're doing Good, as well as doing well.
I hope that helps, and I hope you'll find your own answer, and through it satisfaction.
Posted by owenus32 on May 26, 2004, at 19:21:28
In reply to Re: What If I can't hold down a job?, posted by Racer on May 26, 2004, at 14:30:02
I'd love to become an IT guy with possible track to admin system admin but I'm not sure on that .
Posted by Noa on May 28, 2004, at 7:20:32
In reply to Re: What If I can't hold down a job?, posted by owenus32 on May 26, 2004, at 19:21:28
How about seeing a vocational counselor to sort out some of these factors? You want a less stressful work environment, you might be interested in IT, etc. etc. There are subsidized vocational counseling services run by philanthropic social service agencies in most large cities, I think.
The thing about IT you should ask about is what kinds of hours various IT type jobs would require and then think about what hours would be healthiest for you. Also, some IT jobs require on-call for emergencies, and this can be potentially stressful (like when you have to work all night to protect a server and all the computers attached to it from the latest virus, etc.) But I'm sure there are other IT jobs that don't have that requirement.
I guess advertising business is one of those areas that have a rep for being high stress and competitive, etc. But like Racer said, there are other ways of doing advertising--the non-profit is one idea--doing in-house public relations and marketing. Or doing in house advertising for a small company. I had a friend a long time ago who did that and loved it. It was not at all like the corporate advertising job she had first had out of school. Much more laid back and collaborative and they appreciated her skills. Obviously, what she had given up was the potential for higher salaries and bonuses, etc. that the big agencies offered, but she earned enough for her needs and she was so much happier that it balance out anyway.
Anyway, I think it would be good to see a vocational counselor to find out more about what your options might be.
Good luck!
Posted by sageblue on May 28, 2004, at 21:14:26
In reply to What If I can't hold down a job?, posted by owenus32 on May 26, 2004, at 12:16:39
Hey Owen,
You _did_ hold down a job for 4 years. That's the Gen X equivalent of staying somewhere long enough to earn a pension, especially for a high-stress career. Our parents' generation has had a bit more luxury to sort these issues out in one company (my Dad's worked for the same place since I was born 25 years ago!) -- but we're dealing with a rockier economy.
Getting a new job might be tough right now. Some of my friends have been unemployed for more than 6 months, and they have doubted themselves.But they're just 'as good' as they were before, even if they have to take a 'lower' job to pay the bills. In a way, the crappy economy gives you a great excuse when they wonder why you were let go at job interviews -- "cutbacks." You won't be the only one.
I think you can see this job as something that you learned from. Like, you can use the same methods to overcome your fear of others in your new job, and use the same positive skills you developed to make sure that you _are_ seen as a good employee wherever you go next.
Just remember that you _have_ been successful. You don't have to end up on the street somewhere -- you will be able to hold a job.
Posted by owenus32 on May 31, 2004, at 19:58:32
In reply to But you _did_ » owenus32, posted by sageblue on May 28, 2004, at 21:14:26
LOL , you're right I DID. If I had been better with others I feel I'd still be there but I got MUCH better towards the end so. Youre right/
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.