![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 10 to 34 of 54. Go back in thread:
Posted by karen_kay on April 29, 2004, at 15:25:35
In reply to Re: spoc » karen_kay, posted by spoc on April 28, 2004, at 12:04:21
<<<<<<< How did you first land at Babble and what has your evolution here been like?
*i don't remember how i first came across babbleland.. i think through google perhaps? but i know that even still today i forget the addy... yes, i can be very dense at times.
i know when i first started posting, i stuck mostly to psychobabble psychology, and now i am rarely over there. i just don't have much to say on the subject. or perhaps i'm trying to avoid the subject? or perhaps i'm just too busy over here? oh, did i mention i think too much and over analyze things? and i feel way too guilty about eveything i say and think and do.
and i used to post on psycobabble too, but since i have been taking the same med (supposed to be plural but i don't always do what i'm supposed to) for almost a year now, i don't post over there unless someone has a question about the med i'm taking and no one is getting back to them.and if you mean my evolution as in "philosophically" i'd say i've gotten a bit less crass, in that i've gotten to know the other posters more. i've become much more supportive. i used to ask question after question. now, i think i give as much as i take. i like to think i do anyway.
Staples or paper clips? both actually, but i prefer paper clips
Bun or pony tail? pony tail, though i leave my hair down 99% of the time
Shave pits and then legs or legs and then pits? arm pits first, as i get a cleaner shave
Nightlight or darkness? nightlight, and most always leave the hall light on if my old man isn't in bed before i go to bed
VHS or DVD? DVD
Oh, and my boobs are bigger than yours. ;- ) are you certain about that?
funny, but i was wondering about your gender. i wasn't sure as to which you were and didn't want to be rude and ask. glad you brought that up, as it was just killing me. i'm curious about those things. what can i say?
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 29, 2004, at 17:45:12
In reply to Re: well, there you go! » Fallen4MyT, posted by karen_kay on April 29, 2004, at 15:02:38
LMAO KAREN this is sad but do NOT marry for money..I did once....it wasn't worth it ..really :) No ceasar salad is nasty with bad fats...I BET your dog rocks...East coast? West Coast? Midwest??? Favorite color..???
HUGS
> i'm not married. never been married. hope to only marry for money! then divorce soon after :) i'm in a relationship that has lasted for 5 years, which seems to be about 4.5 years too long (just kidding, or am i???)
>
> no children, 1 dog. a husky. beautiful, SMART, and red.
>
>
> i love coffee. i'd have an IV hooked up if i didn't fear needles. i love tea as well.
>
> i'm not picky about the color of ink i use. if it writes, i'll use it.
>
> i'd rather not disclose the size of bra i wear. i've said it before and if you feel like looking in the archives, it's there :) ha, ha... now you must do some work if you are that interested...
>
> and i am anything but a health nut. if it's bad for me, i'll eat it. if it's good for me, i won't touch it. except ceasar salad, but that's not good for you, is it? i didn't think so...
>
Posted by spoc on April 30, 2004, at 9:29:35
In reply to Re: spoc, posted by karen_kay on April 29, 2004, at 15:25:35
> ....oh, did i mention i think too much and over analyze things? and i feel way too guilty about eveything i say and think and do.
---
<<<< Wow, what's that like? I would have no clue as to what it's like to be analytical and neurotic (HAAAAA! Need I clarify that that is a joke; to claim otherwise would be to add 'delusional' to the list as well, by default!)---
> and if you mean my evolution as in "philosophically" i'd say i've gotten a bit less crass, in that i've gotten to know the other posters more. i've become much more supportive. i used to ask question after question. now, i think i give as much as i take. i like to think i do anyway.>---
<<<<< Oh boy, takes little to trigger me to go hunting in the archives to capture the flavor of something I've seen referred to... Now I must go and find you in the early days to see examples of what you consider 'crass,' and get in touch with your transformation! I can of course see that you are a live-wire, and haven't lost that! A touch of 'crass' is always entertaining, maybe pasteurized but not altogether homogenized!---
> Staples or paper clips?
>> both actually, but i prefer paper clips ><<<<<< Oh, bummer, I don't know if we can work out this difference, no offense. I can't BELIEVE you can deal with the pages all slipping this way and that and surely not holding consistently in an organized fashion for any length of time. Please do not post to me anymore (har har!). ;- )
Here's your chance to redeem yourself: Do you ever use spring-loaded binder clips? And if so, is it important to you to pick a size that is well-suited to the number of pages you are binding; or can you roll with using a huge one to bind five pages or conversely, a tiny one jammed onto a thick document (HINT: In the latter scenario you will be opening yourself up to some of the same hazards as with the slippy-slidey paper clip choice)?
> Bun or pony tail?
>> pony tail, though i leave my hair down 99% of the time ><<<<< I do as well; however, the correct answer was "Ponytail sometimes, but I NEVER wear buns, ya freak!"
> Shave pits and then legs or legs and then pits?
>> arm pits first, as i get a cleaner shave ><<<<< Acceptable. But let's dig the below the surface and make this meaningful. Please be candid. Do you ever slip in a quick pass over the bikini line; or do you uphold the standard of professional waxing? Or somewhere in between? How does this impact the sharpness life of the blade? How often do you shave; do you shave all areas each time; and under this regime, how long does one razor last you?
Note that if my original question implied that I had jumped to conclusions and put you in the "razor blade" box rather respecting your right to use an electric razor instead, I apologize and hope you do not feel accused.
> Nightlight or darkness?
>> nightlight, and most always leave the hall light on if my old man isn't in bed before i go to bed ><<<<<< Interesting. Myself, being an insomniac who gave up the intentional pursuit of sleep long ago, I usually pass out from exhaustion at some point with all lights and possibly TV on. However, on the occasions I do shut down all electric light and noise sources upon retiring, my inclination is towards darkness, but each time the fear of The Creeps will pass through my mind. As in, when you are just drifting off to sleep and must have just started the descent into some nightmare, because you are suddenly jolted awake and feel kind of terrified, possibly over something/someone in the room if you have recently watched a scary movie.
Does this ever happen to you? Any recurring dreams/nightmares? Toss and turn or stay in one place? Back, side or stomach sleeper? Snore? Do you have an electric blanket; foam egg crate thingy on your mattress; white noise machine; what is your minimum preferred thread count?
> VHS or DVD?
>> DVD ><<<<< I recently got my first DVD player (combo w/ VHS) upon unexpected VCR demise. The salesman told me I would need an expensive adaptor due to my crummy, simple old TV, so I purchased one. Was not immediately apparent from the supporting documentation of either why it would be needed or how it would be hooked up. Nearing the end of the return/exchange period, I had still not attempted to hook it up or test the DVD function. Poured over the manuals, not getting it, nothing made sense, didn't want to open the hermetically sealed adaptor box under such circumstances. Then I tried another idea. Put in a DVD and pressed 'play.' And it did. No adaptor required.
> Oh, and my boobs are bigger than yours. ;- )
>> are you certain about that? ><<<<<<*ABSOLUTELY* not; tis not a likely assumption at all. I was sucking up to you, using your interest in this matter that I lifted from your first post here to Fallen4MyT. But perhaps you only wondered about HER chest, not mine. Alas, I'll get over it, having faith that these things take time and someday when you know me better you'll care about my chest too....
> funny, but i was wondering about your gender. i wasn't sure as to which you were and didn't want to be rude and ask. glad you brought that up, as it was just killing me. i'm curious about those things. what can i say? >
<<<<<< Oh, don't worry, ask away -- I'm never ever bothered by such questions. I have long lamented the boring and rather inadvisable means by which I hastily picked my name. I subsequently decided I would have liked a cute and meaningful name as a visual. Ya know how you see some and just like looking at them? (i.e. "Slinky," as you've said? I never did get to tell my slinky joke, ya know. Slinky the toy, not the person of course....)
So yes, I'm female. And here's a visual for you to go with and offset my standing, dry, boring nickname here: I've been told I look like several people, but over the last few years it's almost always Kim Catrall, Samantha on Sex & the City. When I am in full smile, I am almost a dead ringer, and strangers will come from across the room to tell me that. Younger, narrower face (me that is), but otherwise, very close.
Who do people tell you that you look like? I read your description in the "Breast Men" thread, and it was highly amusing, but somehow I suspect you were applying liberal exaggeration for comic relief.
One last thing -- I was so happy to read that you are not a health nut either. I used to work out a TON (a TON I tell you), but it was mainly so I could look better while I abused my health in every other way! Ok, bye for now! :- )
Posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2004, at 14:25:46
In reply to Re: spoc » karen_kay, posted by spoc on April 30, 2004, at 9:29:35
>...when you are just drifting off to sleep and must have just started the descent into some nightmare, because you are suddenly jolted awake and feel kind of terrified, possibly over something/someone in the room if you have recently watched a scary movie. <
I've had that happen, where you're jolted awake and feel like you just heard a noise, but can't remember what it sounded like. I hate that. Your description also kind of sounds like 'night terrors' which is an actual medical problem. My brother has had that and its really scary. He'll wake up and not be able to move or speak, and have this feeling that there is an evil presence in the room. I don't know what the explanation of the evil presence thing is (its described in medical literature), but I've read the paralyzed feeling is because the part of your brain that keeps you from acting out your dreams just last a little longer than its supposed to.
Also, I was wondering, how did you pick out your babble name?
Posted by spoc on April 30, 2004, at 17:02:59
In reply to Re: spoc, posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2004, at 14:25:46
>...when you are just drifting off to sleep and must have just started the descent into some nightmare, because you are suddenly jolted awake and feel kind of terrified, possibly over something/someone in the room if you have recently watched a scary movie. <
>
>> I've had that happen, where you're jolted awake and feel like you just heard a noise, but can't remember what it sounded like. I hate that. Your description also kind of sounds like 'night terrors' which is an actual medical problem. My brother has had that and its really scary. He'll wake up and not be able to move or speak, and have this feeling that there is an evil presence in the room. I don't know what the explanation of the evil presence thing is (its described in medical literature), but I've read the paralyzed feeling is because the part of your brain that keeps you from acting out your dreams just last a little longer than its supposed to. <
---<<<<<< Has anything been recommended to your brother, or worked? Sometimes I wonder if any of this is why I stopped being able to sleep, or trying, so long ago. But that's from the head, not my gut instinct. Much of the time I don't remember my dreams, so I tend to assume it's not important. But who knows, maybe I'm not realizing something that is actually a part of how I feel when awake! And I wonder if the reason that I often don't remember dreams is *because* of how I stay up until I could just about pass out standing up (and then don't necessarily sleep for more than three to five hours).
But! As for the times I do remember... When I am jolted awake, sometimes there is that sinister feeling in the room, and other times it's just like a strong startle, like you mentioned. When it's more the terror variety, my heart will be racing, can't get to a light quick enough, afraid something will grab my arm as I reach ...
"Funny" experience and surely unrelated, but when I was in college, one night I was alone and drifting off to sleep, and I felt the covers start to almost imperceptibly tighten around me. I tried biting my tongue, which is how I always figure out if something is just a dream or not (because if I don't feel it, I know it's a dream, since I'm not really biting my tongue, only dreaming that I am!), and I *could* feel it! My head spun as I realized wow, this really IS happening, I am not asleep; does evil exist?! (I *was* ptetty groggy at that point!). Well, it turned out someone had hidden under my bed, which was up on cinder blocks, then ever so gently began pulling on the covers from underneath!
Do you ever do the tongue biting thing or know what I mean? Whenever something really bad seems to be happening and I do that and feel nothing, I get more terrified because then I realize I am in a world where anything can happen next, and must get out. I think I've read that it's not supposed to be possible to wake yourself then because you're 'paralyzed' in that stage of sleep, but I can drag myself out. I do it with gasping and throat stuff!
I do have a recurring dream that I've had for about as long as I can remember. It's that something is lodged in my throat and I'm choking. I'll stand up and cough and pound myself on the chest, until I slowly become conscious and realize it was that dream again. Years ago I even broke off several fingernails clawing the wall!
And, lately I've occasionally been waking up at any hour definitely terrified, but it's somehow like a sudden realization that it's too late, it's over, I'm over! Not *thoughts* that form after having had a bad dream, but more like I was just delivered that verdict.
Texas, do you usually remember your dreams? I saw that you enjoy scary movies. Does that affect them in any bad ways? I'm guessing that if you have a 'healthy' enjoyment of them as entertaining farces only -- unlike when someone is 'forced' to watch one or does so anyway when they know it will bother them -- that you'd be less prone to resulting nightmares. I don't actually think any of my night terror (or whatever) stuff comes from scary movies, because while I really do enjoy some kinds of them, I've only seen maybe one in years and never did watch them regularly.
---
>> Also, I was wondering, how did you pick out your babble name?---
<<<<<<< I did so by about the most routine method out there because I was in hurry and didn't think
about.... stuff! Ya know? Anyway! I think some people assume it's a Star Trek thing, but it's not (would've spelled it 'spock' at least in that case). But as you may have 'heard' me say, I do have to laugh now at the parallels with me being so analytical and repressed at times! It wasn't supposed to be a meaningful name, but maybe it is! Still, I wish I picked a cute one, d*mmit! ;- )
Posted by karen_kay on April 30, 2004, at 18:58:19
In reply to Re: spoc » karen_kay, posted by spoc on April 30, 2004, at 9:29:35
i must say, i read this post early this morning and have had a smile on my face every since. even when i read my peer evaluations and several people referred to me as "cocky" and "sarcastic". even when my german professor went over what to expect on the final, and i realized i'll be seeing him yet again next semester. it's a darn good thing i find him so attractive, with his cute belly. he reminds me of santa, only he never brings me presents... perhaps next semester? i even smiled when my friend kept talking about her new "boyfriend". the boyfriend who doesn't realize he's her boyfriend, just like the last 15 she slept with and i tried to point it out to her, yet somehow this time is different and i'm the bad guy for trying to ruin her happiness. so, today i didn't point it out. instead, while she went on about it, i just reread this post and kept laughing. when she asked what i was laughing about, i said, "i'm laughing because i'm crazy dear."
snip: Now I must go and find you in the early days to see examples of what you consider 'crass,' and get in touch with your transformation!
oh, did i mention that i'm paranoid? i like to think that noone listens or reads anything i write here. and the thought that people ever do frightens me to no end. i sometimes reread my own things (not too far back of course, that would cause me to have a heart attack and drop dead on the spot i'm sure) and not only curse at my own misspellings (and i sometimes catch them right as i hit confirm and that drives me nuts!!.. i've forgotten my own point here... give me a second. oh, it scares me to think that people actually read anything i write here. and then to think that they would have any interest in it? good god! i only talk about boobs, bubba, my dog pooping on the floor, and my old man. not much useful information coming out of my head here. but, what scares me even more is when someone refers to something i've said in the past. cripes! that scares me! sheesh, i can't even remember what i wore yesterday. and then to think that other people remember the time i made my therapist cookies, or on march 22, 2004 i wore a red shirt and my skirt flew up... maybe i just feel bad because i can't remember anything (not just about myself, but also about others too). no, i think i'm just afraid that people here know entirely too much about me. no, maybe i'm afraid that i talk too much. no, perhaps i'm afraid i've posted something that makes me look bad. no, maybe i'm afraid you'll find out i'm scared of shopping carts. There! I've said it! I'm afraid of shopping carts. are you happy now????
it still makes me paranoid to think that someone would want to know something about me. trust me, there are plenty of much more interesting people here to know about. honestly, i'm really very boring. honestly...
i'll not get into an arguement about paper clips, staplers, or 3 ring binders with you today. i will tell you however, that i do have plenty of silver binder clips available in a variety of sizes in case i need them. the different sizes are in fact: 1-1/4 and 3/4. does that help to get on a better footing at least? on a side note, when i staple, i staple on the right hand side of documents. i find it is easier for those people who are right-handed to turn pages that way. i'm right-handed and try to be considerate of those like me.i don't recall ever wearing a bun in my hair. never. my pony tails always sit very high on my head. and they are very messy as well. not that i have clumps and bumps sticking out, but my tail is usually (wow, i can't even begin to explain it..) let's just say it's messy... i tease it. it's cute, i think. maybe others don't but i'm not too concerned with them.
snip: Do you ever slip in a quick pass over the bikini line; or do you uphold the standard of professional waxing?*hmmmm, just what are you asking here? that's strange you should mention this subject as i was discussing just the very thing last night and now i feel very obligated to mention it. i'll think about my confession for a while and get back to it perhaps at the end.
i think i may be dense (and yes, i am very dense) so could you please rephrase the question, as i don't want to give away too much information that wasn't asked in the first place. let me take another look at the question, see precisely what you are asking and give it yet another shot. then, i'll try to answer, you'll come back and say "oh dear, i wasn't asking that at all" i'll feel like an as$ (as happens quite frequently) then everyone will know exactly what i shave or don't shave, what i wax or don't wax, where i go to get it done, or if i don't get it done, everyone will feel accused and put down, my life will be in shambles, i'll quit shaving or not shaving, waxing or not waxing, going to get it done, or not getting it done, the board will reopen, and people will say "whatever happened to karen kay?" the answer will be "well, she was confused about a question about her bikini line, answered it (or didn't answer it). from there, one of two things could happen.....
number one... "she decided to start shaving (or waxing). while in the shower (or while getting waxed), the razor was too sharp, she cut herself, had to be rushed to the emergency room, and never fully recovered. of course, if she waxed, the wax was too hot, she was rushed to the emergency room with third-degree burns and never fully recovered."number two...."she decided to stop shaving (or waxing), her old man never completely forgaver her, he dumped her, she never did find another, she lost all touch with reality (as well as respect for men in general) and never did rejoin the land of the living (in other words she remained in her mother's home and had to continue wearing ganny panties, as a thong wouldn't quite look right without the benefits of clean shave).
does that answer your question? were you even asking a question? were you hitting on me? :)
be candid please.... lolagain spoc, you intrigue me because i often ask people how they sleep. i sleep ALWAYS on my belly. i drool. i often awake in a large pile of my own drool (sadly, i'm not joking here). i now curl up with a special pillow with a special name (perhaps spoc???). i talk in my sleep. my old man does too, and i frequently try to get him to talk to me, but he doesn't play along very often. he becomes agitated. it's sad really, but once he was talking about yellow mailboxes and the poor mail carrier who had to deliver the mail to all of the mail boxes on the house. (i don't understand it either, don't feel bad.) so, i sleep on my belly, drool and toss and turn all night if i can't sleep. when i get into bed, my old man says i'm "bouncy". i jump around alot when i first get into bed until i become comfortable. unless he is asleep, then i lie so still that my muscles ache.
i have a cooshey thing between my sheet and matress, but it isn't the egg thingy... i hate eggs!! and i had a rough encounter once with an electric blanket. it almost cooked me. never again!!!!
sometimes i sleep naked, sometimes i wear underpants, sometimes pj's. depends on how much i had to drink the evening prior or who i'm sleeping with. if it's my old man, usually i sleep in a chastity belt.
snip: but each time the fear of The Creeps will pass through my mind
the Creeps? i think i have met them on quite a few occassions. you know, for some reason people wander into my house in the middle of the night. people i've never met. people i'd probably like to never meet again. this has happened on two different occassions, in two different towns. (ok, so i need to lock my door, i get it now!!) one guy was looking for a party in my walk-in closet. my old man jumped up in his underpants and tried to assure the guy there was not a party in my closet. i simply rolled over and went back to sleep. another guy walked all the way up my steps in a duplex and came into my bedroom. i just asked him to leave my house and lock the door when he left. so, yes i've met the Creeps, but i think they aren't nearly as creepy as they seem..
ubt, back to what you were saying, about that feeling you get when you awake and are sure there is someone or something in the room with you.... YEAH!!!! doesn't everyone get that feeling? it's scary. i literally run from one room to the next when i'm turning off lights. so i'm not in darkness. you never know where those creepy things are. and i'm sure they can't get you when there's light on you,can they? no, i don't think they can... but, that feeling stinks... your heart starts pounding.
and i have frequent nightmares about tornadoes. and that girl from the exorcist. sheesh! she's scary! i'm getting scared just thinking about it. i'm always in my car trying to get away from tornadoes. and that girl from the exorcist. she's in my nightmares often. i have scarier nightmares, but i'll not jinx them by discussing that. i swear though, when i dream about that girl, i awake and swear my bed's shaking. and i think that she's in the room somewhere. i asked my therapist about it and he thinks it's about not having control. i think it's because my mom implanted 'the FEAR' in my head. she saw the movie when it came out in the theatre and passed out. and you think i'm crazy? ha! she passed out! passed out! i still tease her aobut it and she gets weak... i'm going to call her when i'm done and tease her some more, but then she may tease me aobut shopping carts and dinosaurs...
Ok, DVD.... you may think i'm dense, but i have another story about my dear, sweet sister... she got a dvd player and we watched a dvd. when it was done she said, 'it's so cool because it rewinds really really fast..." god love her....
so, you are told you look like kim (is it samantha? i haven't watched in ages..) wowsa! she's a looker. i always ask people who would play me in my made for tv movie, but people always used to say molly ringwald. i never liked that answer, so i gave up. i used to have red hair, so i just chalked it up to that. as long as it wasn't roseanne, i guess. my sister says i look like clea duvall. i have another friend who says courtney love, and yet another who says melanie griffith. so, the results are varied. but, i don't really think i bear any resemblance to any of them. i did once see my twin (i swear this is so true i had chills!) while i was visiting my mother. i was eating and my sister said, "look, there's a girl who looks just like you" i looked over and saw a woman who was rather portly and shoved my sister. she shoved me back and said, "not her, the other girl" i looked over and i swear, this girl looked exactly like me. and everyone at her table was pointing at me too. i went over and introduced myself. we even had our hair parted on the same side. it was really very strange. noone had a camera, or we would have taken a picture. anyone else had that happen? i swear, it wasn't just that we kinda looked alike. we really were the same height, weight, facial features, everything was remarkably similar. it was rather creepy.so now i have some questions for you....
what really makes you mad.... and i mean you get hostile, throwing punches, kicking walls, MAD!
i get agitated when i'm under pressure or annoyed. usually my old man annoys me. i guess i find it's easier to allow him to annoy me than other people (strange way to look at things, i know but i do have an image to keep up). i do remember once he pushed my buttons to the point that i threw a coffee table in his general direction. granted, i didn't aim it at him, nor did it hit him and he laughed when i did it because it wasn't anything that i normally do. but darn it he really made me mad. usually i'm annoyed with him first thing in the morning when i wake up and he moves the smokes to a different room. or, if he says "hey baby" and i'm not ready to hear it just yet, as i haven't had my coffee yet. actually, i'm pretty hateful to him.... i should call it quits and try over again with someone else. any takers? i can throw a coffee table with the best of them :)
have you ever had sex with someone you thought was unattractive?hasn't everyone? in fact, i've been told my old man would be considered a 'geek' i'd never noticed. i still think he's cute as poop. (not that i consider him unattractive at all, good lord i hope he doesn't read this)
do you watch lifetime or lifetime movie network?
all the time! in fact, i've been know to actually record progams and cancel plans if there is a movie on that i'd like to see. i actually invited a friend over once and told her we could watch a movie together. when she arrived she was so angry when i turned on lifetime. she still holds it against me. when my sister had her baby and suffered from postpartum, she used to watch lifetime all day long. i watch lifetime for entertainment. my old man hates it, but every once in a while, he'll catch the one about the anorexic gymnast.
do you prefer GIN or vodka?it's rather obvious isn't it?
what is the one thing you would never want anyone here to know about you? (be honest, i am!!!)
i have a stupid (stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid) pink star tattoo on my hand that i got because when i got my tattoo i decided it didn't hurt and i had some extra money. when i was in the hospital someone asked me about it and i told them it was a gang sign. i've decided if i don't have it removed before i get a real job, i can slap a bandaid over it and if asked i'll reply "i cut myself shaving"
your turn, give me something good here. and you have to know how much i hate this stupid (stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid) tattoo.
Posted by karen_kay on April 30, 2004, at 21:15:53
In reply to Re: well, there you go! » karen_kay, posted by Fallen4MyT on April 29, 2004, at 17:45:12
you mean ceasar salad is bad for you? good grief, how do you keep track of what's good or bad for you? i can't keep track of what i wore yesterday, let alone good fat and bad fat. one day, i'll marry a man who can keep track of that nonsense for me, so i don't have to. mark my words! (ok, maybe not marry, perhaps a delicious affair, but it'll be fun too.)
oh, and do you know what a boca burger is? are those things made out of horse meat? and are they good for you? are they really though?
not east coast, not west coast... mid west??? hmmmm.. iive never considered myself mid west really. indiana. i'm in indiana. and don't let the tourism board fool you, there's not more than corn in indiana. i promise. (did i mention i'm frightened of corn fields too? i'd forgotten all the things i'm scared of until i started posting here)
my dog shakes, but he doesn't rock. and he poops. my friend called me today and asked if she fed her cats only roses if their poop would smell better. i started thinking about it. for being so smart, she sure does have some dumb ideas.
my favorite color is red! red Red RED!!! unless it's blood. i don't like the sight of blood. blech.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 30, 2004, at 22:36:11
In reply to if it's green, isn't it good for you? » Fallen4MyT, posted by karen_kay on April 30, 2004, at 21:15:53
Lol KK..The green stuff is OK to good for you its the sauce that goes on its thats nasty....I don't know lol but my mind is like a computer with all the healthy stuff stored on my hardhead :) Trust me you do NOT want a man telling you not to eat this or that it would miff you...Indiana...I have been there a billion times..saw corn :) and ate it too..best corn in the country IMO. My dad was from Indiana...You would not like where I live in the summer I have over 1000 acres of corn all around me....I bet your dog rocks behind your back...when your out the CD's come out..sunchips and pop...I love red too my favorite color is blue
> you mean ceasar salad is bad for you? good grief, how do you keep track of what's good or bad for you? i can't keep track of what i wore yesterday, let alone good fat and bad fat. one day, i'll marry a man who can keep track of that nonsense for me, so i don't have to. mark my words! (ok, maybe not marry, perhaps a delicious affair, but it'll be fun too.)
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> oh, and do you know what a boca burger is? are those things made out of horse meat? and are they good for you? are they really though?
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> not east coast, not west coast... mid west??? hmmmm.. iive never considered myself mid west really. indiana. i'm in indiana. and don't let the tourism board fool you, there's not more than corn in indiana. i promise. (did i mention i'm frightened of corn fields too? i'd forgotten all the things i'm scared of until i started posting here)
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> my dog shakes, but he doesn't rock. and he poops. my friend called me today and asked if she fed her cats only roses if their poop would smell better. i started thinking about it. for being so smart, she sure does have some dumb ideas.
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> my favorite color is red! red Red RED!!! unless it's blood. i don't like the sight of blood. blech.
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Posted by spoc on May 1, 2004, at 18:39:04
In reply to uh oh! kk found another friend :) » spoc, posted by karen_kay on April 30, 2004, at 18:58:19
OK, YOU ASKED FOR IT! :- D
Comments on your comments:---
>> i must say, i read this post early this morning and have had a smile on my face every since. even when (bad stuff)... even when (more bad stuff), i just reread this post and kept laughing.... <---
<<<<<< GOOD GRIEF!!! Now I have to follow my own act, oh, the pressure!! I probably have your attention for only mere NANOSECONDS, in which to succeed again!! Ok, here I go, but my hand is trembling, so I hope you can read my writing! I mean, you actually READ what I wrote? Out of consideration for your paranoia of having people actually READ you, I put on my tin foil hat, closed my eyes, put my hands on the monitor and just ABSORBED your meaning through my skin! Would you PLEASE have the courtesy to do the same?? : )
---
>> snip: Now I must go and find you in the early days to see examples of what you consider 'crass,' and get in touch with your transformation! <>> oh, did i mention that i'm paranoid? i like to think that noone listens or reads anything i write here....it still makes me paranoid to think that someone would want to know something about me... trust me, there are plenty of much more interesting people here to know about. honestly, i'm really very boring. honestly...<
---
<<<<<< Ok ok, I'll cross it off my list. Seriously. You’re probably not as much improved and less crass as you think anyway (harrrr!). Curious Georgette over here, my list is too long already. Quite a healthful hobby though, huh? Spending hours inert in my chair, reading archives like a novel, sometimes reemerging only to miss people I never met. But, at least current research shows that archive-diving burns as many calories as are burned posting to current boards; but not as many as through the robust activity levels often achieved in Open.OOPS -- hope I haven't given anything away -- You DID realize this is all just a weight loss study, didn't you? Your boyfriend is testing whether as many calories are burned through habitation of a civil message board, vs. more cardiovascular frontiers where angst roams free... Preliminary results indicate that so-called "high adrenalin fat-burning sites” actually are in the lead. So if I ever disappear from here for good, it won't be because I couldn't behave myself or anything, it will be because I was getting too fat….
---
>> i'll not get into an arguement about paper clips, staplers, or 3 ring binders with you today. i will tell you however, that i do have plenty of silver binder clips available in a variety of sizes in case i need them. the different sizes are in fact: 1-1/4 and 3/4. does that help to get on a better footing at least? <
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<<<<<<< Well Karen, you're showing a respectable ability to get up to speed on the subject, but please note that a size in between these two is also available; and one might even say is THE size preferred by responsible people who, for personal reasons that we should respect, elect to purchase only one size. Statistics show that the households of individuals who lack the mid-size binder clip are frequently in total disarray across the board, and that these people will never be loved, marry or have children. So it’s your decision, but I must caution you. However, no final pronouncements as to your character will be made as of yet.---
>> on a side note, when i staple, i staple on the right hand side of documents. i find it is easier for those people who are right-handed to turn pages that way. i'm right-handed and try to be considerate of those like me. <---
<<<<< This I do find genuinely intriguing. It would seem to make perfect sense and I'm having a hard time thinking of something to shatter your illusions and make you feel silly. Hmmm….. I think I tried this once, way before you did I’m sure, and found that it was somehow disruptive to other objects on the desk or in relation to some sort of spatial and congruency issues. Yes, that was it. But nice try. : )And along those lines, please expand: When you do staple on any given corner of a document, do you do so horizontally, vertically, or on an angle in the corner? When your stapler gets jammed, do you pull out the offending staple and dispose of it neatly with safety-consciousness in mind; or do you instead flick it across the room? Do you concur that people never have to actually purchase staples or paper clips within their lifetimes; that these are amongst the class of objects that perpetuate themselves; and often you open the box to see that there are more of them than the last time? Can you describe what must be going on in that box, while still remaining civil?
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>> i don't recall ever wearing a bun in my hair. never. my pony tails always sit very high on my head. and they are very messy as well. not that i have clumps and bumps sticking out,... <---
<<<<<< Those clumps that make your hair look greasy, even if just washed it?? I HATE those! Ok, pony tails, but no buns, we are in agreement. Where do you stand on hair clips with hair attached to them (intentionally -- by the manufacturer; not by consumers with messy hair ripping them out hastily)? What if it does look fake and everyone knows it, but the person's appearance is actually greatly enhanced by the additional volume? Is it then excusable, or even worth it? Who should they listen to?---
> snip: Do you ever slip in a quick pass over the bikini line; or do you uphold the standard of professional waxing? <
>> ...that's strange you should mention this subject as i was discussing just the very thing last night..i'll try to answer....then everyone will know exactly what i shave or don't shave, what i wax or don't wax, ...everyone will feel accused and put down, my life will be in shambles, i'll quit shaving or not shaving, waxing or not waxing, going to get it done, or not getting it done...people will say "whatever happened to karen kay?" the answer will be "well, she was confused about a question about her bikini line...from there...she never fully recovered...never did rejoin the land of the living..."---
<<<<<<< I'm so sorry I exposed you here; I think I know what's really going on: you don't shave, wax, OR have it done for you... You don't do it at all, do you? You don't have enough familiarity with these objects and/or procedures to even make up an answer.... I apologize, that is a matter between yourself and your old man and I won't bring it up again... Besides, with you being so nice and fuzzy yourself, you can get rid of all the stuffed animals taking up room on the bed.---
>> I always ask people how they sleep. i sleep ALWAYS on my belly. i talk in my sleep... i sleep on my belly, drool and toss and turn all night if i can't sleep...i jump around alot when i first get into bed until i become comfortable.---
<<<<<<< You and me do not even belong to the same species! I sleep ONLY on my back, and never move a centimeter. You could place a glass of water on my sternum and it would never spill all night. In fact I often sleep all night with my laptop there, and wake up with the screen staring me in the face, all ready to go again (which is just greaaaaaat because I definitely don't spend enough time on it already). I am SO still that -- when I lace my fingers together over my chest, as I often do -- if you just slipped an orchid into my hands I'd be picture-perfect for a mortuary brochure.---
> i had a rough encounter once with an electric blanket. it almost cooked me. never again!! <---
<<<<<< I have two electric blankets and a space heater, and all evening long I go from feeling chilled and cranking them up, to feeling hot and turning on the fans (no, this technology-induced, not menopause). Electric blankets have changed since you were a girl you know (don't you dread the day everyone your own age starts using that phrase). I tried to be self-indulgent when I got mine, and got the kind that are much more expensive but are supposed to adjust to room and body heat by themselves. Well, in reality they do what they want, when they want; often depriving you of warmth when you need it most. I prefer a subservient blanket myself.I also have a top-of-the-line white noise/sound machine, which is a bare necessity of life for me; and other apparatus that have the effect of nailing any of my senses shut that might keep me cognizant that there is a world out there. I used to use a dainty, frilly little eye mask, but could see too much light around the edges. Now I pull one of those knitted band hats over my eyes. I used to use foam earplugs a lot, but found them annoying since they were hard to get in right and after pulling them out a couple times, lost their firmness. So now I use sound-resistant hunting earmuffs, the big plastic kind they also use to land planes with (well, there's more equipment than that involved in landing a plane but you know what I mean), since I never roll over when I sleep anyway.
So. You think YOU look funny, drooling and tossing and turning. Picture me, laid out with an orchid in my fingers, wearing a ski mask and hunting earmuffs. But wait -- you sleep on your stomach, probably giving yourself wrinkles on mainly one side of your face. Since I sleep on my back, I figure mine fall backwards and get smoothed out. So yes, you do have it worse!
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>> sometimes i sleep naked, sometimes i wear underpants, sometimes pj's. depends on how much i had to drink the evening prior or who i'm sleeping with. <---
<<<<<< Almost always, I wear men's style pajamas (NO I don’t have men leaving them here! Do you think I go out with men who bring their jammies with them on sleep-overs??). Anyway, it MUST be something with a waistband, which falls below the belly button – EXACTLY. Do not even TALK to me about letting it fall anywhere else!! I can’t STAND *not* having the feeling of a waistband around me. Very odd, because as a child I could not STAND to have a waistband ON me, and had to wear dresses and culottes all the time.---
>> i always ask people who would play me in my made for tv movie, but people always used to say molly ringwald... my sister says i look like clea duvall. i have another friend who says courtney love, and yet another who says melanie griffith. so, the results are varied.---
<<<<<< Ya know, as I was reading this I actually immediately got an image in my head of someone who’d look like all these people. There is some common thread there, certain angles. I feel like I do know what you look like now -- I bet I could spot you in a crowd! (But I won't do anything to you, promise, just a little harmless following you around..Maybe a photo or two..) ;- )
Posted by spoc on May 1, 2004, at 18:45:25
In reply to Re: Left-overs » karen_kay, posted by spoc on May 1, 2004, at 18:39:04
>> so now i have some questions for you..
what really makes you mad.... and i mean you get hostile, throwing punches, kicking walls, MAD!
... i get agitated when i'm under pressure or annoyed. usually my old man annoys me. i guess i find it's easier to allow him to annoy me than other people ...i do remember once he pushed my buttons to the point that i threw a coffee table in his general direction. <---
<<<<<< Well, the only thing that seems to make me want to indulge a delicious little temper tantrum is disappearing or uncooperative objects. Far and away. Especially if I'm running late, and/or am in one of my rare “off” moods (ha). But it’s not really my fault, because you see, I live alone and have a gnome infestation. They hide things from me and I yell back at them (i.e. "OH SURE, YEAH RIGHT! Like it wasn't right there a minute ago, uh uh, sure! Gimme a break ya little #@%$^!!"). It's a wonder they haven't succeeded in making me think it's just me.You know how it is, when you're getting ready, you’re late late late, can't find anything, drop everything, it rolls behind something where you can't reach it, you break things, lose a button; then finally you're whipping out the door and your purse handle catches on the doorknob and pulls you reeling down to the ground, purse contents all over the floor. That's when I'd enjoy stepping back inside and partaking of a little role playing for six-year-olds. A coffee table would be SWELL, but mine is four feet long, and my place is way too small to miss anything. You're in the Big Leagues.
But people? No matter how angry I might feel or how much of an adrenalin rush I might get, I actually never feel like pummeling and killing them at all! Don't you think that makes me a really neat person, and I should be proud? Please say yes, my list of fabulous qualities is getting too short.
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>> have you ever had sex with someone you thought was unattractive?
….hasn't everyone? in fact, i've been told my old man would be considered a 'geek' i'd never noticed. i still think he's cute as poop. <---
<<<<<<<< You're going to have to provide me with a key to reflect your various definitions of 'poop...' Is this the same poop as your dog does all over the floor? And the old man is as cute as all that, huh??Anyway, the answer is, YES and NO.... (and, thank you for assuming I've had sex). Because long ago, I accidentally discovered the wonders of letting people grow on me first and THEN letting the attraction follow. So, the net result is that, while neither myself nor my friends were necessarily at all bowled over by the person initially (or even thought it possible); the attraction grew. So by THAT time (you do TOO know what time I mean, don't make me spell it out), they WERE gorgeous to me, making the whole question moot!
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>> do you watch lifetime or lifetime movie network?
...all the time! in fact, i've been know to actually record progams and cancel plans if there is a movie on that i'd like to see....when my sister had her baby and suffered from postpartum, she used to watch lifetime all day long. <---
<<<<<<< Um, not exactly, but I know the effect you're referring to. I’ve felt it within an hour or so of being tied to a chair with a gag in my mouth, and made to watch. As when visiting my parents, and by their "sanitized (sterilized) for your protection" definition of entertainment, everything on Lifetime is cute as a button and really really fulfilling. Worthy of setting up the most comfortable seating, pillow and blanky arrangements, and gathering together all kinds of snacks so no one has to leave the room.But I must admit, I will then get in touch with the therapeutic, hypnotic effect. I could come out of the closet and watch at home, but do fear there would be that typical "poop out" effect as with any mind-altering substance before too long. For one thing, commercials drive me nuts, so it would have to be recorded. But, overall I tend to subject myself (even when I can't stand it anymore) mainly to somewhat educational TV; highly rated independent films; and reality shows where the people act kind of …. questionable at times (makes me feel better than them). But I do enjoy being around people who can cut the crap and admit they enjoy fluff, in which case I often will too.
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> do you prefer GIN or vodka?
….it's rather obvious isn't it? <---
<<<<<<< Vodka. Then an upright can of whipped cream. Then airplane glue, then White Out. A lot of people seem to think this isn't a good idea, but I think they're the silly ones because they just aren't taking the time to read the labels. They CLEARLY state, "Do not CONCENTRATE and inhale." So as long as long as you don't CONCENTRATE, you'll be fine!!! Don't you hate it when people overreact?! ;- )---
> what is the one thing you would never want anyone here to know about you? (be honest, i am!!!)
….i have a stupid (stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid) pink star tattoo on my hand ...your turn, give me something good here... <----
<<<<<<<< DRAT!!!! Are we out of time ALREADY???? I *HATE* it when that happens!!!!!! Seriously, off the top of my head (because it hasn't been 24 hours since you posted or anything...), I can only think of either really lame things or things that I wouldn’t want to disclose becaauuuse…, oh let’s see, maybe it has something to do with being the ONE THING I’D NEVER WANT ANYONE HERE TO KNOW ABOUT ME?? ;- )But hang in there, I'm thinking... That kinda spoils the assignment though, I guess!
Posted by karen_kay on May 1, 2004, at 20:01:05
In reply to Re: Left-overs » karen_kay, posted by spoc on May 1, 2004, at 18:39:04
i'd have to say you are doing a fine job of following your own act. but, it's a good thing you aren't following mine (or are you? let's not think too terribly hard about this one) or you may be left feeling a bit insecure.
and you mentioned something about "absorbing the meaning of posts through the monitor"... well, my eyes are absorbing the meaning and i'd swear you are hitting on me spoc. if this were a real life conversation, i'd certainly have you back at my place by now. (how's that for crass? perhaps it did prove your point that i'm still quite crass indeed. but, do you think i'm joking or not? hmmmmm) :)
so, you archive here alot? found any good dirt, like people posting when they are drunk? i do that at times. bad news. very bad news. not just the fact that i can hardely spell or type sober, but also i tend to forget that people do actually read this stuff. i should write in my journal more often i think. or i hsould drink less i think. or maybe i'm not doing a thing wrong. what do you think? anyway, have you found any good dirt? even about me. perhaps something i've given up that i shouldn't have. obviously i'm not too concerned with people finding out who i am. i don't have too much to hide (except that incedent with my sister, the murderer and the STD, but i don't think i've ever mentioned that one here. maybe i'm wrong though and have. again, i talk too much. or maybe not enough?).
i staple horizontally, very close to the edge. if the staple becomes jammed, i pull it out, along with about 10 others grouped together, throw them on the floor, and usually pick them up two weeks later in my foot. it doesn't hurt, i'm tough.and about the binder clips: you are probably right. due to the fact that i don't own the proper size, i'll become an old maid. i'll move in with my mother, never marry, my dog won't even love me, and i'll never have children. all because i don't have the in-between size. i guess that is what staples and paper clips are for?
oh, and about stapling on the right side.... most right handed people would then elect to read the document on the right hand side of the desk, so it wouldn't get in the way of anything. (on a side note, i did once have an english professor ask me not to staple on that side, as it made it hard for her to grade and confused her. i ignored her wishes.)
i'd never purchase a hair clip with fake hair put in it. i don't see the point. either you have hair, or you don't. it would be like buying a rug to put atop your head. don't listen to the manufactors. there are manufactors trying to sell rip-away pants but that doesn't mean you should buy them, does it?
about you question on shaving.... lol. i'm not opposed to answering it at all, and i suppose since no one has said anything about you asking it wouldn't cause harm to answer. but, first of all, where the [insert] did that come from? are you sure you're not hitting on me? (and you honestly can't know the amusement i'm getting from this thread. thank you for it. my old man keeps popping his nosey head in saying, "what's so funny?")
i wax two parts of my body. my eyebrows and my arms. (good grief, i know!) i shaved them when i was 13 and stupid and when the hair grew back i looked like a monkey. i know how it hurts to get my arms waxed and wouldn't dream of allowing that pain to extend to a delicate region of my body. i once tried an at home waxing kit and jumped into a warm bath directly after the first hair was removed. and yes spoc, i do shave. i guess if everyone here knows everything i tell my therapist, what's the harm in knowing that piece of information as well? (and jsut what did you mean to suggest with that "fuzzy" comment anyway? huh?)
you don't move at all when you sleep? how do you know for certain, since you are asleep and all? i've slept in the same bed with people who toss and turn so much that they literally rip the sheets of the bed. that drives me insane. on spring break, i slept with my friend shorty and she would sit up in her sleep. i thought i was sleeping with that girl from the exorcist. good lord, talk aobut nightmares. and she would snore louder than i thought humanly possible. and she kicked me several times as well.
which reminds me of a dream i once had... i was at space camp in my dream and there were cute boys behind me. i was wearing a bikini top (oh no! not bikinis again) and i wanted to flash them, so i did and my friend held my shirt down so i was exposed to everyone who was getting on the bus behind me. i turned around and donkey kicked my friend, but in real life i also kicked to. it happened that i donkey kicked my boyfriend in the back and he screamed. i was half asleep and half awake (some how the kicking woke me up) and i laughed.
so, you sleep with a space heater too. our heating is odd in the house. if i have people sleep over they actually cook in the living room, but i freeze in my bedroom. and my old man turns the heat up so high that we have $400 heating bills each month, just so he can run around in his underpants in the winter. i told him to buy some blankets but he won't listen. he says he'd rather spend the money to remain comfortable, that is until the bill arrives. then i get yelled at for some reason, when he's the one running around in his underpants. men, i'll never fully understand them.
and why do you sleep with the noise machine? i'll stop by and make odd noises if that will help put you to sleep. i sometimes sleep with ear plugs in, but sometiems they fall out and i awake with one in the pile of drool. it doesn't taste pleasant, ear wax that is.
and i frequently shove the pillow over my head if i can't sleep. or over my old man's if i can't sleep. again, i'm hateful to him and for some reason i'm just starting to realize it. today for instance (oh, this is bad!!) i asked him to bring me food home when he got done with work and he didn't. but he got food. and it was 5 and i had one heck of a hang-over and i wasn't feeling well. so i said, 'looks like someone should go to the grocery and get me food, and it's not me because i'm ill!' he said no. so, i said, "give me your credit card", which he did. and i was going to order take-out and he told me that i couldn't order from the place i wanted. so, i threw the phone, credit card and phone book on the floor and layed in bed. i was ill though :) i should be nicer to him. poor guy.
i have a hard time wearing pants to bed, as they get twisted when i sleep. somewhere through the night i end up taking them off and awake without them on. long ago this used to worry me, waking up without clothes on (it's concerning when you are over at other people's houses) so now i try to purchase one piece pj's. i just can't sleep when my clothes are twisted. i think it gives me nightmares that i'm an article of clothing in a washing machine. or perhaps that's why i have nightmares of tornadoes??? hmmmm...
and you said that you don't meet men who bring their jammies on dates.. so, what kind of men do you meet? hmmmm?
you said you think you could spot me in a crowd? does that mean you know me? or you have an idea of what i look like? see, now i'm getting paranoid. not at all, i'm just kidding. and you also said you wouldn't do anything. why not? and you'd follow me around. it's strange you said that because i'm know for being rather annoying and following people around. spoc, you're starting to freak me out here :)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 1, 2004, at 20:27:52
In reply to sloppy seconds (oh dear not for the faint) » spoc, posted by karen_kay on May 1, 2004, at 20:01:05
LOL OH MY...ROMANCE OR HORMOANS :P
Posted by spoc on May 2, 2004, at 17:20:04
In reply to sloppy seconds (oh dear not for the faint) » spoc, posted by karen_kay on May 1, 2004, at 20:01:05
Karen, love, although I am (ostensibly) only passing through, I wanted to say please let's not ever lose what we are building here. My life, for one, has aready been enriched beyond my wildest dreams; and I'm fairly certain I have no mental health issues whatsoever anymore....
But I do still have those technical problems and inconveniences caused by my apartment being located on the other side of the Looking Glass, which are now taking me away from deserving individuals. Location, location, location they told me, but now I wonder what they were implying by that. Is this where they think I belong? In a world of gnome infestation; and clocks that reflect a rate of time passage -- while pursuing activities in a COMPLETELY normal and responsible fashion -- which seems to emanate from a parallel universe?
Ahhh, what a magical and intriguing picture I paint of what is in reality living in squalor (just what the h*ll IS squalor anyway), decay, entrophy, stagnation and life-threatening procrastination. My outlandish, surreal ability to obsessively fritter away time and end up continually slating limits and goals for that elusive "tomorrow" -- since it is usually after midnight when I first begin to suspect that I may have maimed and killed yet another day -- is currently voraciously active.
So today, I have made the great stride of figuratively slapping myself, in a stern fashion -- throwing a glass of ice water in my own face, as it were -- at merely 5:20 PM. Um, yes, I did kinda get off on it too, but is that really any of your business Karen? The point is, I must take this opportunity ball and run with it, far and into glorious achievements such as sorting through piles of stuff on my floor that are starting to run together. Why do I have piles of stuff on my floor? That's how I USED to make sure I'd remember to do things. Rather than making lists, which I make myself ill with, I put things in completely nonsensical and intrusive places so I can't possibly miss them and just walk over them. But now, there are so many nonsensically-placed things on top of the coffee maker, bed, answering machine, in front of the door and all over the floor that nothing has a chance of standing out anymore; and it just looks like my new floor treatment of choice.
Today I had to stand up, introduce myself and welcome myself to an official struggle with something I am powerless over; when I saw that I had achieved the new low of taping some things to my wall in the desperate hope that they would stand out and get done. I'm afraid to go on an archeological dig to see what urgent matters lie buried alive on the floor.
To wit, regarding my lack of control over time, this post was intended to be a mere sentence saying that I reserve the right to horde your comments on this thread to put you down and accuse you at my earliest possible convenience. So for me, even a "quick" I'LL BE BACK LATER turns into a claim to be currently unavailable that assumes the recipient has two or more spare hours to read it.
But, my word-count sister, I'll will be back! We have much unfinished business here, and I have a bevy of other pressing subjects for us to discuss someday, that are equally or even more crucial and transformative than those already discussed. Yes, as hard as that is to believe, because we've already touched on all the REALLY important things in life. I am on the verge of self-actualization, and have you to thank for it ... DEAR! See ((Karen)), I am learning the ropes after all!
Ok, I have to go clean up gnome poop now. If you think dog poop is bad, think again. Must be all those pens, lipsticks, buttons, documents and receipts they eat.
--- ALICE ;- )
Posted by karen_kay on May 2, 2004, at 19:13:37
In reply to Re: *PLACE HOLDER* » karen_kay, posted by spoc on May 2, 2004, at 17:20:04
can it be? am i so dense that i misread (and reread and then yet again read) the meaning of your post. just when i thought i was making headway into getting you into my bedroom, you slap me in the face. now, i've been turned down before and i'm quite certain it will happen again, but never in such a fashion and never by someone quite as fascinating as i find you spoc. i thought we had it all baby. we had the language, we had charm and boy did we have attitude. and just when things were starting to heat up, you call a seat saver? i'm left wondering what i did wrong. i must admit, i do come on a bit strong. and while this appeal isn't for everyone, i thought for certain it was right up your alley. and many times that i've been rejected, i've been able to snap back with a phrase such as "well, i've been turned down by far better looking people than you." but this time i'm not quite so sure i've been rejected by someone with as much spunk as you. i'm left feeling hurt and wondering if i should try out a new approach. it's usually gotten me pretty far in the past. why change a good thing now? but spoc, why go dumpster diving when you have quite a prize right here? sure, you can go play with your knomes or go shuffling through the archives looking for answers but i assure you i'm just as screwed up as everyone else in the world. i may appear to be quite normal, but that's my facade. and to think, i even told you about my tattoo. and my fear of shopping carts. now that's not information i give out on the first date.
so spoc, i'm still left wondering, "why me?" "what did i do wrong?" "surely it wasn't me." but, as i said before i think too much. and i still wonder if i said something wrong. i thought i had a new friend. i had high hopes. i even purchased a new camera. all for nothing. to have it thrown in my face. perhaps one day i'll recover. i guess i can look on the bright side and say that i have something new to discuss this week in group. but, will anyone really believe me? doubtful. so, i'll have another dx shoved up my butt. and a few weeks of paranoid thoughts and constant self-doubts. and i'll archive you and wonder, "what did i do wrong?" and i'll never fully recover. then, perhaps you'll resurface and want to play, and i'll be giddy and full of joy. and we'll play again and all will be right in the world. and then you'll write another "dear karen" letter, with another seat saver. and i'll have to up my antipsychotics and have more to talk about in group, and noone will believe me yet again. and this cycle will continue until someone learns their lesson. i'm guessing it will be you rather than me. but, i ask is it really worth it? you bet your a$$!!! so, at the risk of sounding needy (or dense if i'm incorrectly absorbing your meaning) "do you really have to go??????" couldn't you just save me some pain and stick around a bit longer? or, at the very least, email me at karen_kay12 at yahoo dot com. from there, i'll give you directions to my house :)
Posted by kid47 on May 2, 2004, at 20:33:22
In reply to Re: *PLACE HOLDER* » karen_kay, posted by spoc on May 2, 2004, at 17:20:04
get a room. After reading all your fast, furious, and flirtatious talk, my head is spinning and my kidneys are on fire. Excuse me for butting in here. That's what I do. I even have a Certificate of Proficiency in it. I have used my exquisitely tuned powers of deduction and jumped to some startling conclusions. My many years of undercover work with the FBI and my double aught spy status lend credence to these, what some might consider outrageous, deductions. First and foremost, Karen Kay, Spoc(and don't think for a moment I believe that is your real name), I must give credit to your ability to disguise what is truly at work here. You even, for only a moment, had me doubting my own razor sharp sleuthing insincts. All that nonsense about waxing, shaving, and the sometimes incomprehensible syntax, was just a feeble attempt to throw me off track. Well, Im sorry to inform you, I was not fooled. OH YES!!!...I am on to you! At first it just seemed like coincidental similarities in writing styles. Upon further inspection however.....EUREKA!!! it hit me like a hot kiss on the end of a wet fist!!(plagiarized) Karen Kay and Spoc are.....yes you've probably guessed by now....one in the same.(gasp) Like Michael and Latoya Jackson, these two entities only *appear* to be seperate. "But why?" you might dumfoundedly ask. Possibly some weird manifestation of a tragically confused mind? Perhaps an untreated multiple personality disorder rearing it's ugly little head. I'm a detective, not a therapist. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with all this, but you know how unhappy Dr./Mr. Bob gets when we post under more than one screen name. At this point I was willing just to rat you out to Bob and move on. But wait. Isn't this all just a little too simple. A bit too neat. Too tidy. A might *convenient*. Too "wrapped up and handed to me on a silver platter" kind of a situation....and any other cliches that come to mind? There had to be more to it. (especially since I haven't come close to my word count obligation) Something just didn't fit. Unfortunately, at this time, I have a pressing matter that makes it impossible for me to expand on what I now know to be the WHOLE truth concerning this. There is so much more than you could ever imagine. Please dear readers (both of you) make no attempt to draw your own conclusions. Trust me. You haven't a clue. You will be absolutely astonished, amazed, agog, ( dontcha just love the thesaurus) and at the same time deeply disturbed, when I reveal the REAL story....and reveal it I will. VERY soon. Standby
kid
Posted by spoc on May 3, 2004, at 3:25:24
In reply to well say it aint so! » spoc, posted by karen_kay on May 2, 2004, at 19:13:37
Karen, my little twinkie (now THAT'S a favorite word, deliciously irreverent and suitable for things from people to broad references to junky food... Maybe if I do change my name here I will come back as Twinkie...), first let me say, don't let this eleventh-hour post, issued to try to talk you down from the ledge, fool you into thinking that I am still logged on and paying attention. (How am I doin on syntax so far Kid?).
Next, let me say that my main purpose for coming into your life has surely now become obvious: to smoke Kid out and drive him insane with jealousy and into your arms. He is now clearly ready to leave his wife and family and chase the pants off your butt. I can stick around anyway, but I don't know if he'll have it, because it's obvious you'll always prefer me now.
OR! Maybe this has all been retribution for you never asking me for my slinky (the toy) joke when I selflessly offered it to you long ago. I knew then that I had to make you fall in love with me, and then shatter and abandon you in a grandiose public spectacle.
But seriously Karen, by taking me in here and under these circumstances, you have provided me with much stress relief (and keep your mind out of the gutter please). Oh, were it only permissible to joke about guns and weapons on this airplane, the additional fun and frolicking we could have shared.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.... And it is NOT over! I simply need to start logging off the Internet and in general shutting down my computer -- for hours and maybe days when possible -- for my mental health. Literally. It is THAT Twinkie, and nothing else, which is actually going on here. I have become a mushroom, a thing that lives in the dank dark under rocks, a mere shell of my former self.
I can't describe the extent to which I have taken complete refuge from my life and problems on the Internet (and in computers generally). Additionally, I am an at-home worker who can wildly abuse her flexibility. Oh, how I rue that fateful day when my DSL was connected; and then I started evoking my God-given right to move my laptop with me from room to room; so that no position would ever become too uncomfortable. Karen, have you done much rueing lately?
(Am I fooling any normal people into believing that this is more readable and they should stick with it, by breaking it up into misleading little paragraphs?) I will argue that this DOES qualify as an addiction unto itself until the day there is a neat dx box to put me in. NO, not a dx of addictive paragraph splitting, one of Internet addiction. I kid you not when I say I often wake up with my laptop on my chest, having slept with it there all night (and yes, to answer a recent question of yours, that IS one of the ways I *know* I don't move in my sleep. For I indeed do NOT tie it to myself so that it moves with me all night. The glass of water will also still be on my sternum. Well, ok, not really the latter but really the former. The latter is actually a glass of gin. HA HA HA! Just trying to dry your tears and bring a smile to your uniquely beautiful face, Molly Clea Courtney Melanie.
Yet I am also deadly serious. I am now referring to myself as nothing but cerebral hemispheres languishing on a chair. I have at times signed on and stayed on for three days without sleeping; and at all other times, pause only to visit the water closet or feed my face (Swedish Fish and Sun Chips comprise many of my meals, since I'm in a hurry to get back. And I have the keyboard disabled by embedded crumbs to prove it. Notice how there are some letters I never use? Lately I've had crumbs embedded under my comma key, so that why I have to use so many semi colons).
I used to be an annoyingly dedicated athlete (one who also has little regard for actual health, you'll recall). But only my internal organs knew it, because as long as you look very athletic, people assume you are a disciplined, clean living whirlwind. And you will be perceived as more health conscious and athletic while sprawled on the couch eating Fritos, drinking beer, and chain smoking; than someone who does not look athletic will be as they drink carrot and seaweed juice smoothies, and do pilates in a tee shirt imprinted with protests against all fun things.
But now, from sitting, my normally thin and lovely ankles sometimes swell into cankles, if you know what that is (calf feeding directly into ankle with no graded slope), and my feet look like hams. I think you can get blood clots from that kind of thing. I find myself habitually lying to people to cover my activities, just like any other addict. And worse, I type about 5 wpm, and spend most of my composition time correcting the large percentage of errors facing me whenever I look up at the screen.
Today, as usual, I sat down "JUST FOR A SEC," to "QUICKLY" (insert those irritating finger gestures that represent quotes) check my email and find out what most people in Guam eat for Sunday breakfast; and where that intersects with the breakfast habits of Far Eastern cultures and people on the first six floors of my building. You know, just a quick pass over the really important things. After which I was going to experience some authentic vitamin D and see if my legs still work, using them to creep forth hesitantly into the sunlight like a scared little albino creature ... Or, at least get my exercise skating with no skates required on the explosion of papers and documents on my floor. Also makes a good Slip 'N Slide with no water required.
However, none of those things happened. As a matter of fact, it's after 3 AM and they still aren't, and I got up 8:00 AM. Yesterday. Between my clocks with their delusional and insulting faerie land interpretation of time, and my typing disability, I spent the entire day only on emails, a couple posts, and a few uneventful Internet searches. And I bet you still think I'm exaggerating. But the thing is, I'm not. I'm really really nooooooooot. This has proven to be a perfect and perfectly disastrous refuge for me from things I was *already* very bad at making myself deal with. I'm not sure I'd put it past myself to start buying Depends so I can stay in my chair even longer. So THANK GOD everyone here ignored me! (I am K-I-D-D-I-N-G!!! It's a joke ladies and gentlemen, a joke! I swear!) ;- )
And, think of all the three-D humans that have EXPERIENCED ME IN PERSON and have now had to do without for so long. Could you even *LIVE* through that yourself? would you even *WANT* to???? Besides, Dr. Bob is going to start charging me for bandwidth soon.
So YES, at the risk of disillusioning you, I am flawed, I am obsessive compulsive and I am desperate! Mercy, how is expression of my true potential and capacity for happiness -- already in somewhat short supply throughout my lifetime -- ever going to break through at this rate??? But take heart, I only meant that my heretofore continuous daily posting to this site must slow down and even skip days. I did NOT mean that I won't be back. Or necessarily that I'll even get far. I have briefly seen the lights of a promising town glowing at the edges of these woods, but I have not yet succeeded in walking towards them.
Today, however, I was seriously wrestling with a decision on whether to set up an automatic "Away" message on my email account, which would be very drastic for me but may show signs of intelligent and salvageable life over here. If that succeeds, I may -- horrors, one day at a time, I can't even think about it yet -- lock my DSL modem away where I can't get to it at all easily. Note that I didn't say "Have my DSL disconnected." I don't want to throw myself into delirium tremens and seizures or anything.
And about that heretofore continuous daily posting. I must forewarn you that romps such as those we've shared will not be available in the archives. I had disembarked here fairly recently, and hadn't yet identified other crass, whimsical, irreverent playmates. No one took that ball but Fallen and you Karen, and let's be honest, anyone can tell I've got GREAT balls (got you wondering again, haven't I?). But even so, please, to quote a very wise woman who has left an indelible mark on my life, DON'T *READ* MY OLD STUFF! DO PEOPLE REALLY *READ* MY STUFF?? EVEN MY *NEW* STUFF??? Well, you may locate a couple slight snickers and possibly one guffaw, but most of it will be dry, Spock-like (with a 'k'), repressed, purportedly logical Vulcan tomes. That's how my collective deposits on this site can be referred to, as The Vulcan Tomes (and doesn't 'depositing' on this site sound like a naughty thing to get away with?).
Ok Karen, have I lost your fancy yet by speaking exclusively of myself in tonight's word count? Do we both prefer it when we *pretend* we are not speaking only of ourselves? Alright then, I'll leave you with this question, and I really do want to know the answer:
Has anyone ever played that joke on you where they say it is a coordination test or something, and you put your hands on the table palms down, and they put glasses of liquids on top of both of them and then one on your head? And only then do you realize what has happened; but you can't even redeem yourself by being a good sport and laughing, for fear of vibrating? How did this make you feel and how has it impacted your life?
No, I NEVER fell for that and here is ANOTHER one I NEVER fell for, and I resent you even thinking it. Stop me if you've heard it. Tell the victim you have a coordination test that will show that it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep all five of one's fingers within small circles drawn on a piece of paper (or in your case, a cocktail napkin) while running an object down the exact middle of one's nose. Then take out a quarter (or other grooved monetary increment, although quarters are commonly available and easy to saturate with lead) and draw circles around it with a pencil, pressing firmly against it...You get the rest. And no, they never ask why you need a quarter to guide your drawing of the circles. They are too busy being excited that they will be the one to defy natural laws.
Now, I HAVE heard about a girl who DID fall for that. It's not a pretty tale. She had just gotten back from a family beach vacation in winter and was supremely proud of her tan as she joined in some underage drinking at a basement gathering. She beamed as she entered the room, suspecting that she looked rather pretty; and was planning to sponge bathe only for about two weeks. This heartless coordination test was perpetrated on her, but after the damage had been done, nobody had any moisturizer to rectify all the scrubbing necessary to remove the lead tracks from her face. She was plunged from princess to sucker in an instant, wept in the bathroom, and has long suspected that all of her mental health problems radiate from that evening. Sorry to leave this on such a tragic note, but we can't hide behind jokes forever Karen.
Posted by spoc on May 3, 2004, at 5:46:34
In reply to Re: Impassioned plea from a red eyed mushroom, posted by spoc on May 3, 2004, at 3:25:24
.... AND YOU DON'T TELL THEM! When they miraculously "pass" the quarter coordination test, you scratch your head, exclaim that you don't know what went wrong, and let them walk around in public for as long as possible with a stripe of lead down their face!
...Meanwhile, it's probably turning out that everyone on the planet has been a party to this gag before and has known about it since second grade (where it belongs); **whilst I continue to embarrass myself with my obvious deficit in original or age-appropriate ideas.
Well Karen, I hope you're satisfied. In addition to making the above-mentioned spectacle of myself, I have obviously now decided not to go to sleep AT ALL today... Or yesterday... Or whenever it was. Prompted ONLY by your plea for an explanation that was issued in the early evening (and the demonstration by yet another poster, apparently in the minority thus far, of the ability to appreciate high brow wit); I have been hovering around here like a yellow jacket ever since. And it's time to work, and give any remaining brain cells to that, while fighting the urge to insert liberal references to bra size, drool, bikini lines and flying coffee tables into my reports (which I will staple on the right-hand side, causing my clients great and lasting anxiety).
Whereas otherwise, by now I would have procured a new and fulfilling career, fallen in love, had my first child, plucked that one mutant ape-like hair that grows between my eyebrows, moved mountains, won friends, influenced people, and built my quadriceps back up. THANKS A LOT KAREN!
** "Whilst" -- see? I am in reality far far away in another country, and therefore unobtainable to you. ;- )
Posted by karen_kay on May 3, 2004, at 8:02:01
In reply to Re: Impassioned plea from a red eyed mushroom, posted by spoc on May 3, 2004, at 3:25:24
nie (and bob, that line is too short! how many times must i say it? you can't even get a complete sentence in before it cuts you off, much like my old man when i try to argue. good grief, already i dislike him this morning and i haven't even seen him. oh dear, my breathing is picking up, the coffee table is across the room, i'm stepping away from the computer....)
ok, i feel better, i just threw it at his picture this time, since he's gone for work.
cankles-unfrickenbelievable!! i was just explaining this phenomenon to a friend the other day. not that i have them of course, but i do know someone. and when i need a cheap laugh, i simply ask her to pull up her pants' leg and allow me to have a look. she used to be shy about it, but no longer. when she needs a cheap laugh, i show her my breasts. funny how things work out for the better, isn't it?
spoc, we could make a great team. you could work all the time. i could spend your money. that's precisely what i'm looking for. i don't mind that you don't sleep, why should it bother you? we could always solve such problems. there are ways of wearing one's body out, you know. and by that i meant with alcohol or sleeping pills of course. just what were you thinking dear? and is there really anything wrong with being online most of the day? i hardely doubt it. robots seem to be much better to converse with than people. they don't back-talk, they aren't demanding, they don't eat, and they don't steal your cigarettes in the middle of the night. medication, yes they eat that, but never smokes. and i can live without medication but never without my trusty friend joe camel.
now, i'm not one to throw compliments around very easily, so i won't in this case. and i wouldn't be able to forgive myself if i stopped you from going to that shiny, bright city just outside your door so that others could meet a person like you spoc. but, i'm selfish too. and i won't have it. i realize your mental health may be suffering from being here, but think of mine in this case. and we all know i'm what's important here. if you were to leave (say even for a day) wouldn't that simply leave me open and vulnerable to run to the words of another poster (kid for instance). and you know he's waiting for that opportunity. and i'd run away to montana to live with kid, become a stepford wife, have 2.3 children, and be deliriously happy. is that really what you want for me? i have a feeling you and me could be completely miserable together. and misery is what i adore. are you really any different? (and why do i keep talking about robots? i know i'm scared of them. sheesh. now i'm thinking of becoming one. i must be having hesitations about something. or PERHAPS it's the rejection letter after rejection letter i keep receiving. and you're worried about your mental health? what about me? huh? well? do you even have an answer?)
ok spoc, i think i've got my complaining out. if you think it's best for your health to log off and go play with real friends, then do so. i understand. i won't hold you back. no, really, i'm not playing sappy. i guess you know what's best for you. even though real friends aren't as fun as robots. i'll remember the good times, even if they only lasted a brief 48 hours. and i'll never really find another gal like you, though i'll constantly search. and all my prospective lovers will wonder "just who is spoc? with the pointy ears? is she taking her meds?" see, i told you no one would understand. so, just go. leave. go ahead. it doesn't hurt my feelings. not one bit. oh doll, do you need some sunchips for the road? i'll give you some harvest cheddar. (did that bring you back :( did it? are you back yet? darn it. well then, just one more thing. i think i gave you an std. ha! who got the last laugh?
Posted by karen_kay on May 3, 2004, at 8:26:18
In reply to another feable plea by clea, molly, courtney, mela, posted by karen_kay on May 3, 2004, at 8:02:01
and spoc. yes, someone has played that mean trick on me before. my old man. and i didn't meet him until i was 19. then i played it on my lovely sister, who is a year and a half older than i. so, do you really feel so bad now? and he got that quarter pretty dirty with that stupid pencil, and i, like a dummey rubbed it against my nose. but, i don't recall if it was a coordination test or not. i did find out relatively fast though. my poor sister, on the other hand, did not. and i laughed, because if i fell for it, at least i had the pleasure of viewing someone else fall for it far worse than i.
so spoc, does that make you feel better? it should. i had forgotten about the whole thing until you brought it up. it didn't leave nearly the impression on me that it did you. however, i'm also known for making a jerk out of myself, so things like that don't usually phase me. (of course, not to say that you made a jerk out of yourself. honest mistake.)
but spoc, i think we can make it work. i can fight the gnomes. i have superpowers. i have a recipe for gnome pate which is superb. i can even see them. i'm like snow white in a way. furry creatures tend to flock to me. then, when they least expect it, i catch them and cook their livers, with a hint of garlic. it's a wonderful recipe. but, i must warn you, they have sharp teeth. i don't know why i bother telling you, as they won't come to play with you, only me. so, i can take care of your gnome problem.
so, in this brief (ok, maybe not so brief, but it started that way) attempt to recapture your attention (is it working? am i failing? are you listening?) i've offered suggestions, i've pleaded my point, and i've even been honest about my little infection (btw, a brief visit to the doctor and antibiotics should clear that right up!). isn't that enough? i'm attempting to recall all the things i've learned in therapy, yet reverting back to my old ways. guilt trips. hasseling. stalking even. what else can i do? isnt there so much more for us to discuss? i've yet to tell you about the cowboy style jumping trains while under the intoxication of drugs. i've not even mentioned my encounter with the meth lab upstairs. and aren't you at least curious to know about my affair with mr bob? i suppose all those stories will have to wait for another day, or another play mate.
i can't wait to see spoc again. so i can try to hold her attention for yet another 48 hours, when she'll blow through, tell her fascinating stories and break my heart.... boo hoo... kid? are you around?
Posted by karen_kay on May 3, 2004, at 8:44:50
In reply to OK you guys...Karen Kay and Spoc, posted by kid47 on May 2, 2004, at 20:33:22
kid, i always knew you were talented, handsome, and charming, but so clever? add that to your list... how ever did you figure it out? i now feel like superman caught in the phone booth with his pants down (did you ever wonder about that?). but why did you have to tell? i thought we had something special, a secret that you wouldn't expose. and now, the good time must end between spoc and i because you had to blow our cover (hmmm, this could be fun). now i'm begging you to take it back. get on your calculator watch (which doesn't work), figure out the proper calculations, and email mr bob ASAP to let him know that you were in a drunken haze, one which you've been in the last 3 decades, and didn't mean a word of it. the future of babble is in your hands kid.
now, let's think of what could happen, shall we? suppose for a moment, mr bob reads your post and decides to investigate further. he'll find my ISP, realize that i indeed work for the government, am in fact doing research as we speak on the effects of long-term coffee spillage on keyboards. from there, he'll find that i also work for starbucks, destined to design a new brand of coffee that can be spilled on keyboards without causing any type of damage to the system. he'll also find that at the same time i'm working for folgers, also preparing to create a new brand of coffee specifically designed to be spilt on a keyboard system without significant damage. he'll expose me for the fraud i am, as you can't really work for competing companies at the same time. also, i'll go to prison. granted, since i work for the governement, it'll be a federal prison, complete with tennis court and conjugal visits (and you are married, right kid? it doesn't mean i have to be married to you, does it?) so, while i'm tanning and engaging in numerous other activities, this new brand of coffee and the study will never be conducted (and if it is, it won't be conducted properly, i assure you). people will still be spilling coffee all over their keyboards and complaining about not having a coffee that doesn't hurt their system. humanity will suffer. i'll have a tan. in 20 years, i'll be released and look like an over-cooked bird since there is little to do in prison other than tan. sheesh, by then i'll be middle aged! do you really want to take responsibility for that kid? i didn't think so. quick, retraction please!!!
Posted by All Done on May 3, 2004, at 11:07:06
In reply to Re: Feeble addition from a cross eyed zombie, posted by spoc on May 3, 2004, at 5:46:34
Dear Spoc,
I beg, I plead...please don’t go. Reading this thread has been the only thing keeping me going the last few days (okay, perhaps I exaggerate a bit). But I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve gotten angry, I’ve shaved my legs. Granted, I have the attention span of a two-year old, so sometimes I have to read your posts in "shifts" but you have managed to keep me reading.
In all honesty, though, I must say, you’ve changed my life (again with the exaggeration, All Done!) and I do have an interesting, if not somewhat funny, story related to this thread.
A little background – as of Friday afternoon, my husband knew nothing of my adventures at this site. He did not know I post, he did not know I had been so kindly befriended by the likes of Miss Karen, he did not know we IM each other, ahem, on occasion. Well, when I got home on Friday evening, I logged in to IM for a bit and usually I am vigilant about logging out before my husband sits down to the use the computer, but, that particular evening, I erroneously left IM open. So, there I was, reading to my son his very favorite story about a duck that falls in the mud and gets very dirty. (Don’t worry. It rains and the duck jumps in a puddle. He gets clean. It’s all good.) We were on the couch next to my husband and the computer screen was in plain view. Next thing you know, I see Yahoo messenger pop up with a message. As far as I know, my husband does not use Yahoo messenger. So I realize I must have left it open and I figure odds are, it’s KK sending me a message. Well, I just watch to see what he does, and it appears as though he reads it and closes it out. I wonder what he is thinking when yet another message pops up. And another. He reads them and seems a bit confused, but closes it out again and doesn’t say a word.
Now, you are probably asking yourself, "what in Dr. Bob's name does this have to do with anything, All Done?" Bear with me. Based on the information I have now received from KK and my husband, I have managed to put together a rough description of what the IM’s looked like and the events that transpired in my home on Friday evening...
(Husband is surfing the internet for information on hardy palm trees. We live in Chicago. Don’t ask.)
(IM pops up.)
KK: hey girlie!
(Husband reads, hesitates, and closes the IM pop up)
KK: did you see spoc posted to me?
KK: she asked me if i shave my @#$%^& !!! <------ If I used the actual word here, Dr. Bob might have to have the police ship me off to that jail in Guam with kid.
(Husband reads, confusion sets in, he closes the IM pop up anyway.)
Now, after finally disclosing to him that I have online friends that he was not aware of, he said, "Oh. I thought we were getting some kind of porn pop ups." He thought KK was PORN!!!
He then asked, "so, what *do* you and 'Kelly' talk about?" I can only imagine what must be going through his head.
So, spoc, I believe I have you, in part, to thank for having an integral role in "outting" me to my husband in the best possible way ever and I would miss having more potential opportunities to refer to KK as a porn star.
Keep posting, okay? Even if you do it in your sleep. We don’t care. We aren’t picky.
With much gratitude,
All Done
Posted by tabitha on May 3, 2004, at 12:09:26
In reply to Re: Impassioned plea from a red eyed mushroom, posted by spoc on May 3, 2004, at 3:25:24
Spoc, I hear you on the all-consuming power of the internet. I drag my laptop from room to room even though I have dial-up and a battery that won't hold a charge. Sure I could get new batteries, and a wireless modem, and DSL, but then I'd be online 24 hours for sure.
I tried various anti-addiction strategies, including a 1 hr/day quota, but the only thing that helped over time was going back to work in an office. When left to my own devices, my usage just creeps upward.
I really hope you don't have to cut the cord permanently-- your posts are so well-written and funny, I'd hate to lose your presence here.
Posted by noa on May 3, 2004, at 18:35:02
In reply to Re: Left-overs » karen_kay, posted by spoc on May 1, 2004, at 18:39:04
I swear, the two of you can turn this patter, banter, reparte, what-have-you into a professional act! Take it on the road from the information superhighway to live gigs. The wit is a welcome wonder!
*still giggling* and very very entertained.....
Noa
Posted by spoc on May 4, 2004, at 8:25:47
In reply to Re: Impassioned plea from a red eyed mushroom » spoc, posted by tabitha on May 3, 2004, at 12:09:26
OK, GET READY FOR A GOOD ONE! (I feel *GREAT* today btw!! Maybe it's all that fish oil and ginko biloba I've been consuming lately! Hey do you really think that stuff makes you smarter? I doubt it, but sorry, I digress!) ANYWAY! You’ll be retelling THIS one for years! But actually, I was never so EMBARRASSED in my life, and I kind of can’t believe I’m going to admit to it just for the sake of a laugh! Oh well, I like to share! ;- )
Mich möchten wie das Mädchen in der Singulair Werbung sein!! Das, wer geht, Familie ihres Freundes auf dem Bauernhof zu besuchen! Sie scheint, also glücklich und gut-justiert, könnte ich sie töten! Für Karen, was die Hölle sind Sie Ihr Leben vergeudend, das Deutsches studiert, wenn offensichtlich Ihre Talente in der Abdichtenbadezimmerfliese? liegen? JA -- Ich FAND IHR TAGEBUCH, UND DIESES IST, WAS Ich ÜBER UND ÜBER SAH (SEIEN Sie SO EINFACH ZU SELBST FRAU) ZUTREFFEND:
Yes, actually it HAD started out like any other day! You know how that is?? Where you look back later and can't BELIEVE you how clueless you were about what you were in for??? Anyway, BADEZIMMER-WAND-FLIESE! Ein Haarstrichsprung, beim Überziehen läßt Wasser hinter Badezimmerfliesen sickern. Wenn Sie Sprünge in der Zeit sich verfangen, können Sie aus vorhandenen Verbindungen (a Dosenöffner funktioniert gut) und regrout reiben. Sie können mit Bewurfproben experimentieren müssen, um ein gutes Farbe Gleiches zu erhalten - Altern beeinflußt die Farbe - selbst wenn Sie ein übriggebliebenes Versorgungsmaterial des ursprünglichen Materials benutzen. Wenn angrenzende Fliesen lose sind, erwarten Sie nicht, sie zu sichern, indem Sie den Bewurf reparieren! Überziehen Sie Hilfen, um die zusammen zu binden Fliesen, aber er kann nicht sie im Platz halten. Bevor Sie den Bewurf reparieren, mischen Sie sich weg von den losen Fliesen ein und schneiden Sie hinunter die Kanten des alten Klebers auf der Fliese und auf der Wand oder Fußboden. Lassen Sie den herausgestellten trockenen Bereich, und dann stellen Sie die Fliese mit Kleber zurück und überziehen Sie die umgebenden Nähte!! Tragen Sie Sicherheit Schutzbrillen, wenn Sie Bewurf, Eichmeister anwenden oder kalfatern Sie. Auch etwas Bewürfe, Eichmeister oder kalfatert können Ihre Haut reizen; es wird empfohlen, daß Sie Gummihandschuhe beim Arbeiten mit diesen Materialien tragen. Stellen Sie auch genügende Ventilation während dieses Prozesses zur Verfügung und wenn notwendig, benutzen Sie einen NIOSH-anerkannten Respirator!!
I KNOW, I KNOW! I HAD NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE!! And boy, did I need it that day, so I just had to share! And if you think THAT'S funny, listen to what happened next -- Die Störung, Ihr Badezimmer zu kalfatern und zu überziehen ist richtig eins der größten Probleme mit Hauptwartung!!! Viele Leute denken zweimal nicht an das Kümmern nicht von von um ihren Badezimmern. Sie duschen und benutzen ihre Badezimmer für Jahre und nie einmal Re-kalfatern oder Re-überziehen. Wenn Sie nicht Sorgfalt des Bewurfs anwenden und in Ihrem Badezimmer, über Zeit, in kalfatern und im Bewurf zu kalfatern knackt, sind Ihre Fliesen loser, und Feuchtigkeit kriecht unter Ihre Fliesen und die Wände, die Fußböden und zu beschädigen säubern die Halteträger Ihres Haupt. DANN, die Fliesen. Bevor Sie Re-Abdichten oder Re-überziehen benutzen Sie ein chemisches Reinigungsmittel der allgemeinen Fliese, um die Fliesen.
YES! That is EXACTLY how ridiculous it looked! (But I did continue to date Brad Pitt for about a year, so it wasn't ALL bad!) Anyway, the clincher really is that Überprüfung gänzlich zu säubern der Bewurf und um Hähne und Drehknöpfe zu kalfatern. Überprüfen Sie, um sicherzustellen, daß die Dichtungen um alle Ihre Hähne und Drehknöpfe gut versiegelt werden. Wenn sie nicht sind, müssen Sie die Platten um Ihre Hähne vollständig entfernen und Drehknöpfe, zwecks das notwendige Abdichten und das Überziehen von von Änderungen!!
BUT IT WASN’T ALL FOR NOTHING! Here’s what I learned from it, and you can too: UND, zu bilden, das alte zu entfernen kalfatern. Benutzen Sie einen Schaber oder ein starkes Messer, um alles weg zu reiben, das nicht Fliese ist. Werden Sie den ganzen Überrest los, kalfatern Sie, überziehen Sie und Schmutz. Dieses kann einige Zeit dauern, aber Sie möchten sicher sein, dieses gänzlich zu tun und richtig säubern das folgende!! = 0
I AGREE, that IS hard to believe, and a lot of people think it’s the MOST INTERESTING AND USEFUL THING THEY EVER HEARD, AND MAY HAVE CHANGED THEIR VERY LIVES!! Oder, Ihr Badezimmer wie das folgende! Und, säubern Ihr Badezimmer wieder. Benutzen Sie Ihr chemisches Reinigungsmittel, um die Fliese in Ihr Badezimmer noch einmal überall zu säubern. Spülen Sie den Chemikalien weg gänzlich. Dann, Gebrauch aus, den ein starkes kalfatern. Sie möchten das bestmögliche finden, für Ihr bestimmtes Badezimmer zu kalfatern. Gespräch mit jemand an Ihrem Kleinteilspeicher, zum dieses zu besprechen. Seien Sie nicht geizig. Sie wünschen die Dichtungen die Arbeit erledigen und Letztes ein langes Zeit! = 0 !!!!
RADICAL? SURE! But in order to effect PERMANENT change, sometimes a thing has to be! And it's surely easy enough to see that this could work for you too. Oder, befestigen die Hahn- und Drehknopfplatten wieder. Setzen Sie Schichten von kalfatern unter den Platten, bevor Sie sie festziehen, anwenden dann eine andere Dosis von kalfatern, nachdem sie wiederbefestigtes Abdeckband des! Sogar, Gebrauches gewesen sind, wenn Sie einen Bereich kalfatern, der eine gerade Geraden für bestes Aussehen erfordert. Lassen Sie Abdeckband entlang der Unterseite der Außenseite Ihrer Badewanne laufen, um das beste Abdichten zu haben. Sobald Sie getanes Abdichten sind, entfernen Sie das Abdeckband!!! SO!! If no one ever told you that before, I understand why you are weeping because you know how much your life can now change and improve OVERNIGHT! WITH HARDLY ANY WORK OR EFFORT AT ALL! Turns out there is NO MYSTERY TO BEING HAPPY AFTER ALL! Oh no, don't mention it, you're very welcome! : )
(JA benutzte ich einen Netz-gegründeten Übersetzer, der warnt, daß es einige Sachen oben verwirrt; und ich würde lieben, zu wissen, was dieses WIRKLICH sagt! Besonders weil, sobald ich es verwendete, um etwas in einer Richtung zu übersetzen, dann übersetzte sie zurück zu Englisch, und WIMMERN war es screwy, wenn nicht beleidigend! Haben Sie einen SCHWELLEN-Tag Karen!) :- D
But seriously folks, you like WAY TOTALLY made my day, week and maybe more with your kind words and astute appreciation of me (hee hee)! I WILL be BAAAAAACK! But, I really do have a problem! Or twelve!! ;- )
Posted by All Done on May 4, 2004, at 9:31:02
In reply to Re: OK! You guys asked for it, my BEST one yet! :), posted by spoc on May 4, 2004, at 8:25:47
Well, Spoc, you've absolutely made my day! What a story! Not only am I LMAO, but now I can finally unchain myself from this horrid desk and take my newfound skills to apply for that handyman's position I've always been wanting.
I know it's going to be a great day because I started it with a good laugh! Thanks for that!
Guten tag! (KK taught me that one ;).)
All Done
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