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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyr on April 5, 2004, at 18:21:52
I've been out of work for 2yrs now and I'm scared about going back, what do i say when they ask me why I was out of work for 2yrs , I could blame it on the kids(stayed home for the kids), or do I tell them that I wigged out and couldn't work? I have to go back to work my T getting my nursing licenses back for me how could i not pass it up, I need to work I'm going MAD being in this house w/ no one to talk to all day.
Posted by noa on April 5, 2004, at 19:12:15
In reply to scared about going back to work:-{, posted by kellyr on April 5, 2004, at 18:21:52
Kelly,
Congratulations on this big step! If I remember correctly, you are very good at what you do--caring for very ill and dying people, yes?
As for what to tell people--are you going back to the same place?
Either way, just tell them what you feel is easiest for you to tell them, if you even have to say anything at all. It isn't really anyone's business unless you want to tell them. But as a mom of young kids, you certainly can rely on that as your back up reason.
I can understand being somewhat itchy to get out of the house and have more stimulation. For me, if I didn't work, my depression would be a lot worse--I know from weekends and time off when I'm home, I get more depressed--I know it's different for different people, but I can relate to how hard it would be without people to talk to all day.
Good luck!!!
Posted by kellyr on April 7, 2004, at 1:00:53
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{ » kellyr, posted by noa on April 5, 2004, at 19:12:15
> Kelly,
>
> Congratulations on this big step! If I remember correctly, you are very good at what you do--caring for very ill and dying people, yes?
>
> As for what to tell people--are you going back to the same place?Noa,
no, I can't go back to the same place we move to far away for me to drive it( 1 hr ). there are two places that i'm looking into, there both state mental hospitals. My T wants me to til the boss that I'm ill, so that i don't get in trouble when i can't do things(like make phone calls,talk on loud speaker, ect.)
how do you tell someone like a new boss that your ill away? kellyr.
Posted by spoc on April 7, 2004, at 1:19:10
In reply to scared about going back to work:-{, posted by kellyr on April 5, 2004, at 18:21:52
> I've been out of work for 2yrs now and I'm scared about going back, what do i say when they ask me why I was out of work for 2yrs , I could blame it on the kids(stayed home for the kids), or do I tell them that I wigged out and couldn't work? I have to go back to work my T getting my nursing licenses back for me how could i not pass it up, I need to work I'm going MAD being in this house w/ no one to talk to all day.
---------Hi Kelly,
Does sound stressful to anticipate, but how great for you. You are bound to be so much better off. It sounds like you needed time to rest and heal. But too much more time at home probably would start to work in reverse, if you are already being bothered by it. My soul could also use a job away from home. I used to dream of having just one day a week to work at home, "then I'll always keep things together." Eventually I ended up working from home all the time, and everything about my problems -- and how long things take me -- actually got much worse.
I don't think you should worry at all about just telling people whatever makes you feel most at ease from there forward, such as having cared for your family full-time for awhile. Good luck, please post back about what it's like to make the transition! : )
Posted by gardenergirl on April 7, 2004, at 7:16:23
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{ » kellyr, posted by spoc on April 7, 2004, at 1:19:10
Kelly,
I'm glad you are feeling well enough to take this step. Good for you. Perhaps you can work with your T to write down a short statement that you could share with a new boss. It doesn't have to disclose too much, but just how your illness may affect you and what kind of accomodations you might need.And I agree with spoc about gaps in resumes. It seems like this is less of an issue anymore, as people do take time off to care for family or due to moving, etc.
Good luck with this. Job hunting can be stressful, so please take extra care of yourself. Let us know how it goes!
gg
Posted by spoc on April 7, 2004, at 9:20:44
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{ » noa, posted by kellyr on April 7, 2004, at 1:00:53
> Noa,
> no, I can't go back to the same place we move to far away for me to drive it( 1 hr ). there are two places that i'm looking into, there both state mental hospitals. My T wants me to til the boss that I'm ill, so that i don't get in trouble when i can't do things(like make phone calls,talk on loud speaker, ect.) > how do you tell someone like a new boss that your ill away? kellyr.>
---------
Kelly, sorry, I hadn't refreshed my page before I last posted so I just noticed your second post. Didn't mean to sound like I thought disregarding your doc's advice was the way to go!It does make sense unless you are somehow sure you've overcome those difficulties and/or are not at all hesitant about them. But I assume he's in a position to know, and wouldn't ask that you do that unless it seemed important. You may be in the best possible position here, because perhaps it's not so unusual in this particular field for a potential employer to be told something of this nature. They may have a unique understanding or ability to take it in stride. Maybe you could start by saying that like many others who are attracted to the field, you are good at what you do because you've known what it's like to struggle with certain things yourself. And then go on to cite the ways in which you've grown through that. I agree with gardenergirl that it would be helpful to get your doc's suggestions on what to say, such as how much detail to go into regarding specific limitations you are still working on.
Best wishes! : )
Posted by noa on April 8, 2004, at 17:57:59
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{ » noa, posted by kellyr on April 7, 2004, at 1:00:53
Kelly, how ya doin?
Posted by kellyr on April 13, 2004, at 18:42:34
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{ » kellyr, posted by noa on April 8, 2004, at 17:57:59
well today i had to drive one hour both ways to get my recertification form filled out, they where happy to see me that made me feel good, now i have to get fingerprinting appointment so they can do a criminal background investigation(CBI), I have no record so that doesn't bother me at all. My husband is nerves that i can't do it and would wind up stop working again. that is what i'm scared about too.
Posted by spoc on April 13, 2004, at 19:31:38
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{, posted by kellyr on April 13, 2004, at 18:42:34
> ...now i have to get fingerprinting appointment so they can do a criminal background investigation(CBI), I have no record so that doesn't bother me at all. My husband is nerves that i can't do it and would wind up stop working again. that is what i'm scared about too.
-----
Hi Kelly, glad you are on the move! I'm sure it goes without saying that you're still nervous about returning to work, period. But in the above I couldn't tell whether you meant that; or that you are still somehow bothered by the prospect of being fingerprinted, even though not about anything being found. If by chance the former, did your industry require you to have that done previously? Wanted to tell you just in case, that I've had to have it done too and it was definitely simple. Just one more line to stand in!Other than that, was it a certification agency or your soon-to-be employer that you met with? I don't know the biz, obviously! Anyway I was wondering if this means you're through the part about deciding what and how much to disclose? If not, hope you've helped calm yourself by getting suggestions from your doc! But it really seems like you're in a field with a greatly increased likelihood of all this being understood, including that your experiences enable you to relate better to other people struggling emotionally. We know one doesn't have to be all fixed yet to be helpul to others in that way, just look around here! Maybe things will come more naturally to you now than ever, and with the confidence from that, the specific admin duties you fear may fall into place. :- )
Posted by noa on April 13, 2004, at 19:55:40
In reply to Re: scared about going back to work:-{, posted by kellyr on April 13, 2004, at 18:42:34
Hi, Kelly! Well, you're getting things done, that's good.
Take one day at a time.
Good luck!
This is the end of the thread.
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