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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 17:41:14
Well, I went to my pdoc. I was right at first. I would pretty much be admitted if I only actually was in the proccess of trying to committ suicide. Since ideation and intent are two different things, I'm not suicidal enough to warrant admission. I did SI last night, the worst yet. My upper right arm is a gory essay in shallow cuts. yes, I have it bandaged and I'm taking care of it.
Plus, there are no programs available until I have Medicare (years out and I can't get Medicaid) or turn out certifiably homeless (then I can get Medicaid). These are the state rules. Utah sucks big time.
So, while I'm waiting for SSDI I guess I'll try not to kill myself and try to make money that I can't make.
My pdoc also FINALLY gave a definitive diagnosis. Borderline Disorder. I suspected it, in a way it's good to finally have an angle of attack to work on. It's tough and it'll take a long time, but I wanna beat this b*tch of a disease.
As always, I thank all of you for your support and kindness. You guys rule.
Posted by Penny on March 17, 2004, at 17:52:10
In reply to now I'm BPD. No hospital stay this time *trigger*, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 17:41:14
Jeff,
You're right - it's absolutely ridiculous that you have to be 'actively' suicidal in order to be admitted to the hospital. For me it was always a question of if I did get there (actively suicidal) would I even tell anyone at that point? I mean, last summer I had a 'plan' and I did tell my pdoc, and I was admitted to the hospital, but would I have really gone through with it? I don't know.
It's sad that folks who need help can't always get it *when* it would still be helpful, rather than being forced to wait until it might be too late.
Hang in there, Jeff, as best you can. I think it's awesome that you were able to broach the topic with your pdoc, period. Really. I know from personal experience just how hard that is.
(((Jeff)))
P
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 18:58:08
In reply to Re: now I'm BPD. No hospital stay this time *trigger* » socialdeviantjeff, posted by Penny on March 17, 2004, at 17:52:10
> Jeff,
>
> You're right - it's absolutely ridiculous that you have to be 'actively' suicidal in order to be admitted to the hospital. For me it was always a question of if I did get there (actively suicidal) would I even tell anyone at that point? I mean, last summer I had a 'plan' and I did tell my pdoc, and I was admitted to the hospital, but would I have really gone through with it? I don't know.
>In Utah it seems that you're relegated to the social trash bin until you are so far-gone that there is no answer but institutionalization. Unless, of course, you have medical insurance. I also have a "plan". I would never carry it through. I could care less about me but when it comes to my daughter, living and trying to be a good parent matters.
> It's sad that folks who need help can't always get it *when* it would still be helpful, rather than being forced to wait until it might be too late.
>
> Hang in there, Jeff, as best you can. I think it's awesome that you were able to broach the topic with your pdoc, period. Really. I know from personal experience just how hard that is.
>
> (((Jeff)))
>
> P
Thanks so much. Right now I'm trying t get SSDI. I don't want it to be a lifelong thing, but it's the only way to get access to treatment that might help. It was really hard to talk to him. I let it all out, showed him my SI wounds and all. Told him about my hallucenations and delusions. He's good at clinical detachment, he didn't seem in the least bit surprised.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on March 17, 2004, at 19:32:00
In reply to Re: now I'm BPD. No hospital stay this time *trigger*, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 18:58:08
Hi Jeff,
You are right, the system does stink. I remember when my psychiatrist told me to apply for SSDI. I was unemployed, but still collecting. I remember the day that I had to check the box that said I was unable to work, with the knowledge that I would have to survive for months with no income, nothing in my bank acount, and no assets that I could live off available. Basically it was that I had no access whatsoever to money to pay for my living expenses. I was then on SSI and foodstamps. I did after a month or so get medicaid, so then my meds would be paid. Once, before medicaid I had to go to my city welfare office to pay for meds.
Even with medicaid and SSDI I'm stuck working with the community mental healt organization. I think that this organization is sicker than I am.
As far as the borderline diagnosis, Welcome to the club. It seems that just about everyone who cuts gets that. In any case, if you find that you get the chande to take the DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) course you might find it helpfull.
Good luck,
Dee.
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 19:56:18
In reply to Re: now I'm BPD. No hospital stay this time *trigger*, posted by deirdrehbrt on March 17, 2004, at 19:32:00
> Hi Jeff,
> You are right, the system does stink. I remember when my psychiatrist told me to apply for SSDI. I was unemployed, but still collecting. I remember the day that I had to check the box that said I was unable to work, with the knowledge that I would have to survive for months with no income, nothing in my bank acount, and no assets that I could live off available. Basically it was that I had no access whatsoever to money to pay for my living expenses. I was then on SSI and foodstamps. I did after a month or so get medicaid, so then my meds would be paid. Once, before medicaid I had to go to my city welfare office to pay for meds.
> Even with medicaid and SSDI I'm stuck working with the community mental healt organization. I think that this organization is sicker than I am.
> As far as the borderline diagnosis, Welcome to the club. It seems that just about everyone who cuts gets that. In any case, if you find that you get the chande to take the DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) course you might find it helpfull.
> Good luck,
> Dee.
Thanks. Do you know if there are any *good* DBT books? I'm employed, but so underempluyed it's not even funny. Sometime in the forseeable future I might have money for a book. It's amazing how bad off one has to be to get any help. the term "mental health care" should have it's own chapter in the worlds unfunniest jokes. Well, gotta go.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on March 17, 2004, at 21:44:14
In reply to Re: now I'm BPD. No hospital stay this time *trigger*, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 17, 2004, at 19:56:18
One of the best, perhaps THE best is "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder".
My therapist keeps a number of these on-hand. The first part might seem dry, but it will help you understand the numerous handouts, where the real work gets done, that constitute the last third or half of the book. It isn't inexpensive, but it is worth the investment.
Dee.
Posted by fallsfall on March 17, 2004, at 22:09:02
In reply to Re: now I'm BPD. No hospital stay this time *trigger*, posted by deirdrehbrt on March 17, 2004, at 21:44:14
I made sure that my library purchased a copy. You might also find "Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder" also by Linehan (this one is geared for therapists, but I like it).
P.S. If you go to your local library, and they don't have these books, they can probably get them through Inter-Library Loan for you. They borrow them from another library (may take a couple of weeks, but should be free to you).
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 19, 2004, at 20:34:43
In reply to Re: DBT books, posted by fallsfall on March 17, 2004, at 22:09:02
Tahnks to both of you for the recommendations. They were at the library, I looke dthem over and liked what I saw.
I was wondering if either of you or anyone else know any good consumer oriented books. It seems every T and their dogs have a book out, but it seems impossible to know the good from the bad ones.
Posted by fallsfall on March 19, 2004, at 21:13:33
In reply to Re: DBT books, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 19, 2004, at 20:34:43
I read mostly books for therapists...
"Stop Walking on Eggshells; Coping When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder" is the best known consumer book - but it chooses to see BPD very narrowly and so assumes that every person with BPD acts the same and has the same issues. This is clearly very untrue. IF you happen to fit the very narrow mold that they describe, I think it is not a bad book.
I have also read "New Hope for People with Borderline Personality Disorder: Your Friendly, Authoritative Guide to the Latest in Traditional and Complementary Solutions". My therapist had it on her desk one day, so I found it in the library. I found it pretty dull, but that could be because by the time I read this one I had read probably 20 book on BPD, so there really wasn't anything new here. It did seem to be a reasonable summary, though (if I remember correctly) - so it might be good as one of the first books you read.
I kind of liked "Borderline Personality Disorder: A Clinical Guide", too. This one is more for therapists.
Let me know if you want more therapist oriented titles.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on March 19, 2004, at 21:29:40
In reply to Re: DBT books » socialdeviantjeff, posted by fallsfall on March 19, 2004, at 21:13:33
One that I liked was "Lost in the Mirror". It kind of surprised me in that I saw my self incredibly clearly in many places.
Dee
Posted by obSession on March 21, 2004, at 13:14:51
In reply to Re: DBT books, posted by deirdrehbrt on March 19, 2004, at 21:29:40
How new is DBT just recently heard about it?
its sucess rate has been amazingly high!
I dont like the fact that in BPD some information to me feels very derogatory......
its almost like saying " i use the aspect of my death to threaten people to get what I want"
BPD is viewed in a strange light in some aspects and it really starts to get to me , has anyone else experienced this?
This is the end of the thread.
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