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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 9:45:13
Damn I wish I could post anon here!!
But, I'm suffering from vaginismus.. Its been a problem for the last 10 months, but finally got a diagnoses today.
I'm booked in for in patient treatment for 2 days.. (in 3 weeks time).. the nurse specialist who'll be doing said it will be 3 sessions each day of vaginal dilation and relaxation techniques.
I've read up on internet about it, but wondered if anyone here had any personal experiences of it (though I will totally understand if no one posts, as its not a nice subject).. Mine has no cause (very annoying) that they can work out by the way.
Thanks everyone..
Nikki
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 15, 2004, at 10:27:44
In reply to Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 9:45:13
What is vaginismus?
Posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 10:34:14
In reply to Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 9:45:13
To some extent, I have this problem. Not to where it makes sex impossible, but it does make it painful. Along with other problems that make sex very painful. For example, I have a small remnant that my gynecologist wants to do a hymenectomy on. And I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't want to do some stretching at the same time since she wants to do a general anasthesia.
I didn't realize there were specific medical techniques to solving the problem. Not that it makes much difference. I tried to make the appointment for the hymenectomy once, and couldn't go through with it. There is too much internal ambivalence about it.
I realize that my thoughts are not rational but they go something like. "Sex hurts and I don't like it. I don't want to get whatever it is fixed because then I'll have to have sex more often, and I don't like it. No! No! No! I will not do this to myself. I will not have this surgery."
Sorry, my ramblings probably haven't done you a bit of good, except perhaps to know that you aren't alone (and are far more rational than some).
My cursory view of the internet showed that there are lots of support sites.
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 10:44:01
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 15, 2004, at 10:27:44
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001487.htm
> What is vaginismus?
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 10:45:35
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 15, 2004, at 10:27:44
Its an involuntary spasm in the vaginal muscles.
Nikki
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 10:51:45
In reply to Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 9:45:13
First- never feel embarassed here! I'm glad you posted.
My mom and my cousin both went through this. Their reason was because of sexual abuse when they were children.
My cousin went in for treatment, as you have scheduled. She is much much better- in fact she hasn't had a problem for a long time.
My mom, however, took a different approach. She didn't want to go to the docs because she was so embarassed. She thought that "Everyone would know what happened to her" if she went. So she started doing Keegal (sp?) excersizes and worked with my dad to make sure she was eased everytime they attempted sex (geez- I'm talking about my parents sex life... I think I'm going to be sick ;))
My mom hasn't had a problem since. She also started running and taking bathes instead of showers. She swears the bathes helped, though my cousin, when she went for treatment was never told that a bath would help... but apparently it can. My mother tells me it had a lot to do with relaxing her lower half of her body. She even got into pilates to keep limber. My mom is no doc, but she seemed to be able to ease a lot with everyday stuff.
You are going to be fine... and you'll be able to do the horizontal limbo soon! ;)
Let me know how it goes!
> Damn I wish I could post anon here!!
>
> But, I'm suffering from vaginismus.. Its been a problem for the last 10 months, but finally got a diagnoses today.
>
> I'm booked in for in patient treatment for 2 days.. (in 3 weeks time).. the nurse specialist who'll be doing said it will be 3 sessions each day of vaginal dilation and relaxation techniques.
>
> I've read up on internet about it, but wondered if anyone here had any personal experiences of it (though I will totally understand if no one posts, as its not a nice subject).. Mine has no cause (very annoying) that they can work out by the way.
>
> Thanks everyone..
>
> Nikki
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 10:52:57
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 10:34:14
Hi Dinah,
Well, the pain could well be causing vaginismus.. From what the nurse said today, if sex has been painful for you, then when you get close to it, your brain says "this is going to be painful", and thus, vaginisum happens.
If you have the hymenectomy this doesn't mean you have to have sex again remember.. but if you do have it, you could maybe start to enjoy it again over time. The nurse specifically said not to start having penattrative sex again quickly.. it all needs to start again very slowly to re-teach my brain that its all OK and no longer painful.
The nurse was very good, I have to say. She spent 45 minutes with me, showing me the things they'll use for the "stretching" etc. But I was a bit, well, freaked out by it and close to tears the entire time.
I'll let you know how I get on with it all though..
Nikki x
Posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 10:56:06
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 10:52:57
Thanks, Nikki. I would be interested in how it goes.
Although I of course will not do anything that might lead to my having more sex. :)
(I drive my therapist nuts sometimes.)
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 10:56:29
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 10:51:45
Thanks so much for that.
I've been doing my keegal exercises for a few years now, and was actually worried it was them causing it!! *lol*
And I don't have a shower, so only ever bathe.The nurse did tell me to mention this to my physiotherapist as I'm currently being treated for some nerve problems, and there is a chance this could all be related.
I've just got to learn to pronounce it first *lmao*
Thanks so much for your stories.. they really do help. I know I can go to other online support groups, and I will do that for info, but experiences from people who you trust is always so much better.
Nikki xx
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:05:14
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » Angielala, posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 10:56:29
Anytime Nikki! Know that you have all us gals here behind you. We feel for you!
And speaking of keegal excersizes... a guy in one of my yoga classes said that he keeps his mind sharp by doing keegal excersizes. He had no idea what he was talking about, obviously, and since he was the only male in the class- the entire class, including the instructor laughed hysterically. (This guy is sort of an ego maniac, with his matching speedo outfit and the sock he stuffs in his shorts haha)
i took him aside afterwards and asked if he knew why everyone was laughing. He got a little mad, and then I explained. Ahhhh... to talk openly about vaginal excerisizes to complete male strangers. Hahahahaha
> Thanks so much for that.
>
> I've been doing my keegal exercises for a few years now, and was actually worried it was them causing it!! *lol*
> And I don't have a shower, so only ever bathe.
>
> The nurse did tell me to mention this to my physiotherapist as I'm currently being treated for some nerve problems, and there is a chance this could all be related.
>
> I've just got to learn to pronounce it first *lmao*
>
> Thanks so much for your stories.. they really do help. I know I can go to other online support groups, and I will do that for info, but experiences from people who you trust is always so much better.
>
> Nikki xx
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 11:15:53
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 10:56:06
Dinah honey.. if you don't want to have sex, there is no reason why you should have to. I hate people that pressure people by saying that you HAVE to have it to be normal.
That is SO untrue and angers me so much. I know for a fact that a relationshsip can be just as loving and close without sex.. more so often I think.
Nikki xx
Posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 11:20:42
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 11:15:53
Well, I'm not saying I don't have it. That wouldn't be fair to my husband, and contrary to our marital agreement. I'm just saying I don't want to have it *more often*, not even if I somehow learn to like it or if it doesn't hurt.
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:20:52
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 10:52:57
Do you miss having pleasurable sex?
(Sounds weird, but I don't want you thinking that you HAVE to have sex either!)
> Hi Dinah,
>
> Well, the pain could well be causing vaginismus.. From what the nurse said today, if sex has been painful for you, then when you get close to it, your brain says "this is going to be painful", and thus, vaginisum happens.
>
> If you have the hymenectomy this doesn't mean you have to have sex again remember.. but if you do have it, you could maybe start to enjoy it again over time. The nurse specifically said not to start having penattrative sex again quickly.. it all needs to start again very slowly to re-teach my brain that its all OK and no longer painful.
>
> The nurse was very good, I have to say. She spent 45 minutes with me, showing me the things they'll use for the "stretching" etc. But I was a bit, well, freaked out by it and close to tears the entire time.
>
> I'll let you know how I get on with it all though..
>
> Nikki x
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:23:23
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 11:20:42
That's right- you have it when you want it! And if you don't, your hubby should understand, does he know?
Did you ever like it?
> Well, I'm not saying I don't have it. That wouldn't be fair to my husband, and contrary to our marital agreement. I'm just saying I don't want to have it *more often*, not even if I somehow learn to like it or if it doesn't hurt.
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 11:27:25
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:05:14
*laughing* Oh that's funny.. so so funny!! *lol* I wouldn't have told him.. but suggested he spread the word and tell other people!! Maybe got him on local radio discussing his keegal exercises *giggles*
Nikki xx
Posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:37:19
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » Angielala, posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 11:27:25
HAHAHAHA- imagine if he wrote an article or something about he's so smart because he does keegal excersizes... that's his mentality. HAHA. This is the same guy that told me that a female would never be president because politcal women are ugly. That was a good day- that was the day I started making fun of him in the gym and everyone joined in. AM I mean? Not at all... but this guy is just so.... UGh, you know?
> *laughing* Oh that's funny.. so so funny!! *lol* I wouldn't have told him.. but suggested he spread the word and tell other people!! Maybe got him on local radio discussing his keegal exercises *giggles*
>
> Nikki xx
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 11:40:37
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 11:20:42
Sorry.. all came out wrong as usual with me!!!
What I meant was.. what ever you are happy with, is what you should do!
Nikki xx
Posted by deirdrehbrt on January 15, 2004, at 21:09:45
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:37:19
I'm just wondering if the world might be flooded by e-mails.....
Subject: SECRET exercises increase size and....
<<Body >>
Top secret "kegal" exercises can increase your size and make you more successfull. Please your partner. To learn this secret, send $nnnnnnnnn
Your secret trainer.
Could happen, right?
Posted by deirdrehbrt on January 15, 2004, at 21:27:39
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!) » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on January 15, 2004, at 11:40:37
I don't know if this will help at all, but some medical supply companies sell instruments called vaginal stents, more commonly known as dilators. These instruments come in various sizes, and are sometimes offered as kits of perhaps 5 - 7 different sizes. They are used primarily after Male to Female Sex Reassignment Surgery, and after vaginal surgery as healing and scarring can cause shrinking.
I did a quick search, and found a few suppliers, a hospital or two, and a number of transgender sites.
Hope this is at least interesting, if not helpfull.
Dee.
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 16, 2004, at 6:02:46
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by deirdrehbrt on January 15, 2004, at 21:27:39
Thanks.
the nurse did show me the dilators they will be using, and explained they are generally used after vaginal reconstruction surgery (she's actually a specialist in vaginal defects.. such as girls born with no vagina)..
Thanks for the message.
nikki x
Posted by Emme on January 16, 2004, at 12:27:09
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by deirdrehbrt on January 15, 2004, at 21:27:39
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I was given smooth cylindrical objects with rounded ends to use for stretching tissues and helping with any potential vaginismus problems (I don't think I had too much of that problem) after some surgery down there.
I personally didn't like them, and my gynecologist sent me to a local store that sells "personal massagers". I got one of those long ones with a gently tapered end. The tapered end gave me more gradual control than jumping to an entire different size dilator. Plus it glowed in the dark! I also had a prescription for topical lidocaine to numb the tissues so I could really stretch them out without causing pain.
I don't know if this'll help any with vaginismus per se, but hope that helps someone with stretching issues.
BTW, the Kegel Guy is hilarious!
Emme
Posted by deirdrehbrt on January 16, 2004, at 12:39:00
In reply to Re: dilators, stretching » deirdrehbrt, posted by Emme on January 16, 2004, at 12:27:09
There are a number of different theories and a number of different shapes to satisfy those theories. These addres such problems as insertion, amount of stretching, etc.
Most people don't know that stretchng actually causes microscopic tissue damage. When a single cell is damaged, the adjacent cells will go into their reproductive state and there essentially becomes two cells where only one was before. It is also why doctors may use a number of different sized stents.
Women can use these dilators on their own, but it requires a good amount of education on use and strict cleansing of the stents. As you are expanding the tissue, and getting these micro-tears, any contamination on the stent could enter the body.
Dee.
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 16, 2004, at 13:54:36
In reply to Re: dilators, stretching, posted by deirdrehbrt on January 16, 2004, at 12:39:00
The nurse showed me a range, from a number 1 to a number 8 (though she said number 8 was rather large, and most women didn't bother with it!!! It looked huge to me!!) and said we would work up them..
I am so hoping I get some pain relief during it!!!
Nikki xx
Posted by Dinah on January 16, 2004, at 17:53:15
In reply to Re: dilators, stretching, posted by deirdrehbrt on January 16, 2004, at 12:39:00
Tears! Oh heavens, no wonder I hate sex. :(
Posted by gabbix2 on January 21, 2004, at 19:29:33
In reply to Re: Embarrassed... Vaginismus (one for the girls!), posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 11:05:14
Actually Kegal excercises are a tantric yogini
excercise for men, used to prolong intercourse/prevent premature ejacualation. I'm really surprised your instructor wasn't aware of this!
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