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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by fallsfall on January 8, 2004, at 17:22:44
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 8, 2004, at 15:00:42
It's great that you know someone who has seen the counselor. It sounds like he thought the counselor was helpful, and not too scary. That is good to know. He can probably answer some questions you have about seeing the counselor. Lots of times having a little more information can make something less scary.
Good luck! And let us know what you decide.
Posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:37:50
In reply to Re: Saturday » geri122, posted by fallsfall on January 8, 2004, at 17:22:44
Today in one of my classes i lost control. completely. I don't know what got over me, i was so tense and i flipped out. Yes there are more and more situations that send me in the direction to get help. i just.. today scared me. I couldn't control what i was doing. I don't want it to happen again, but i know that i can not control it. What do i do. have i really reached rock buttom.
Posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 14:39:04
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:37:50
Geri - what exactly did you do? Cry, shut down, what? You are right, it is another sign. Tell me what happened!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:41:42
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 14:39:04
i don't know, i was haveing a good day. it was the last block of the day. all of sudden i brok down.. i was yelling and i even threw my notbook.. all i wanted to do was crawl up in a ball and cry
Posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 14:44:40
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:41:42
What happened immediately before this happened - who were you talking to and what were you thinking about? Did you feel some sort of a change in your head? Did you eat lunch today? I've had moments like that and it is all I can do to control myself! It's hard, I know, but you can get through this.
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:52:41
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 14:44:40
i don't know what i was thinking about. I was talking to a fellow student. No i didn't eat lunch i usaually don't.
Posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 14:54:39
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:52:41
Do you remember how you felt when you lost it? It wasn't something the person said? Was there anything you were reacting to? I'm sorry to ask so many questions, but all these things are important and it's sort of fresh in your mind now! I guess you know you should not skip lunch :-).
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 15:06:41
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 14:54:39
im just not real hungry... so i don't eat. No the person didn't say anything.. thats the problem, i just have all of these things running through head. I haven't talked to my friend in a while. I just bottle it all up.
Posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 15:07:19
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 14:52:41
I guess the real question now becomes . . . what do you want to do about it? You have a right to be scared. Was there a teacher around who witnessed it? What did the other student say? How long did you feel this way? Acting out can occur for many reasons - anger is the most natural. Hormonal surges are another. Sheer emotional exhaustion is yet another. What do you think?
If you need to email me on my work email, feel free, and I can send you my phone number if you want to talk, ok? I can't write it out correctly, so I'll use the word "at" for the @ sign. LDavisatcmsstl.com. There are no spaces in my name or the cmsstl part. I'll be here til 6pm your time.
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 15:16:16
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 15:07:19
thanks so much for everything. I don't know what i am going to do yet. i am really thinking about calling someone or somthing. the teacher was there but she didn't do anything. it wasn't toward the student either. it was like an emotional break down
Posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 15:29:42
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 9, 2004, at 15:16:16
Good! Like I said, I have these outbursts from time to time too - where it's like another person just jumped in your brain and you have no idea what just happened! It's embarassing and I immediately regret it. Just realize you're human and it's all a part of what you're going through. I'm kinda surprised the teacher didn't say anything to you like, "are you okay?"
I know you're not hungry, but try to eat a bit so your immune system doesn't get too worn down. That will make outbursts like these more frequent, believe me! I am so much worse and out of control when I don't eat - it just makes everything more off balance. Stay away from sugar if you can, that makes most people more prone to outbursts cuz of how out of whack it can make your chemistry!
Take care and I hope you have a good weekend. The offer is always open to call me if you need to!!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 10, 2004, at 10:25:40
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 9, 2004, at 15:29:42
hey i just want to say thanks. and that maybe i will take up your offer but i will tell you know, i won't be as open. It is easier to write then to say
Posted by fallsfall on January 10, 2004, at 12:47:00
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 10, 2004, at 10:25:40
Geri,
Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and cheering you on. I hope that things will be better soon.
Posted by LynneDa on January 12, 2004, at 9:00:40
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 10, 2004, at 10:25:40
Geri - I understand . . . it is much easier to write true feelings than talk! Just want you to have that option if you need it. My work number is toll free, so there's no long distance charge.
Hang in there and have a good week!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 12, 2004, at 15:08:11
In reply to Re: Saturday » geri122, posted by fallsfall on January 10, 2004, at 12:47:00
thanks... i really need. I just seem to be loosing the mean of everything. People are starting to bother me more and more.. i don't want to hide it anymore. To me.. there isn't a need
Posted by LynneDa on January 12, 2004, at 16:19:35
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 12, 2004, at 15:08:11
I understand. I would get to the point where I was ready to scream at my boss about the idiotic things she had me doing . . . and if my husband gave me one more long explanation to a question that only required a short answer, I thought I would truly attack him! It is awful when you feel so out of control. It wasn't me, wasn't rational, wasn't normal. Is that what you're feeling?
Try to keep moving forward and do what you have to do to get by while you're going through this. The time will come when it feels right to take action. You are getting there!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 15, 2004, at 15:22:49
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 12, 2004, at 16:19:35
exactly... and its scary. I tryto control it but sometimes i don't even know its coming.
Posted by LynneDa on January 15, 2004, at 15:39:13
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 15, 2004, at 15:22:49
I know, it's like I'm going through it and I wake up when it's over, cursing myself cuz I swore the next time I would stop it or try to control my outburst. I've tried figuring out what sets it off or if I feel any warning signs . . . but it's like this tornado just comes roaring through me without notice.
It has to be hormonal. It is so similar to the weird uncontrollable post-partum feelings I had after having my daughter - but those were just weepy feelings, not angry.
I can tell you, now that I'm on meds, I don't have them anymore. I still have mood swings, I guess that's a perpetual female thing, but not nearly as devastating and damaging as before!!
I hope you can find a solution soon. You'll get there!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on January 26, 2004, at 16:25:56
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by LynneDa on January 15, 2004, at 15:39:13
hello, it has been a while since i last wrote. Within this time, i have had a lot of time to think. I thought i was doing better. I thought that i was gaining control. Then all of a sudden things just changed. a fight with my dad, the thought of not wanting to live anymore. all those thoughts just started to flow it.
Posted by LynneDa on January 26, 2004, at 17:04:43
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 26, 2004, at 16:25:56
Hi Geri - Thanks for writing. I've been wondering how you've been! Have you been able to speak to anyone else?
I know you are especially sensitive to maintaining a calm relationship with your Dad, so this fight must have been very upsetting - something like that can really upset the balance of everything you've been fighting to maintain.
Sweetie, please don't give up. Please reach out if you really have a plan to end things. I do know exactly how you feel and I've gotten through those urges many times. I am so glad I did. Your life is worth so much, please don't let your depression tell you otherwise. Just do the basics and get by until you can get help. It's okay to ask for help.
Sometimes you have to take it day by day or even hour by hour. BUT, once you get through the next couple of years, you can chart your own course!!! You will be brave enough at some point to get the help you need - whether it's counseling, meds or both - and then you will be so glad you hung in there.
I so wish you could reach out to your family. It's so unfair that they can't be there for you! Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you. Please reach out to one of your friends. Talking can be such a good outlet for pain and unhappiness & really can allow you to see things more optimistically.
Keep us posted, we all care about you and what happens to you!!
~ Lynne
Posted by sfmom on January 26, 2004, at 22:56:13
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 26, 2004, at 16:25:56
> hello, it has been a while since i last wrote. Within this time, i have had a lot of time to think. I thought i was doing better. I thought that i was gaining control. Then all of a sudden things just changed. a fight with my dad, the thought of not wanting to live anymore. all those thoughts just started to flow it.
Hi Geri,
I too, was wondering how you've been doing. I'm sorry that I didn't write for a while, but was kind of caught up in my own mess.
I couldn't agree more with Lynne. It is completely understandable that a fight with your Dad would throw you off. With me it has always been my mom that I was never good enough for, so I really understand. I actually moved out of my parents' house and in with my best friend and her parents when I was 17 and finished up high school living with them. I don't know if it was the best move I've ever made because with all of my newfound freedom I started doing a lot of drugs and sleeping with idiots. Just another senario to keep in mind.
Have you been talking to your friend about things? You mentioned before having her come with you to see a counselor. I really think that's a great idea. We're so much more empowered when we have someone we know is on our side to back us up. (Or to give us a hug.)
When I read about your "freak out" at school, one of the reasons I couldn't respond was that it hit so close to home. Along with my depression, I used to have (before finding the right medication) panic attacks that were terrifying and and seemingly totally out of my control. The reason I started having these panic attacks was my body's way of telling me that I couldn't ignore my depression any longer. And belive me, I did just that for about two years with all the warning signs in place. The last thing I want to do is scare you more than you must already be, but our bodies have an amazing way of making us deal with the issues we need to, or of making us miserable if we don't. But through it all, I still firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we're not dealt anything we can't handle, even if it takes all of our strength. And once you get through it, and are able to look back at the difficult journey you've been through, you have the knowledge for the rest of your life that you have the strength to protect yourself, heal yourself, love yourself, and overcome whatever obsticles that life puts in your way.
The way you have been expressing yourself to us has been honest and true and we all would do whatever we could to help you. But if things are getting worse for you, and it sounds like they are, it might not be enough. We have so much faith in you and in your inner strength and know that when or if you seek professional help (with or without meds) that you can overcome this and come out the other side.
Please let us know what we can do to help you on this journey.
Love, Lyssa
Posted by geri122 on January 29, 2004, at 14:56:48
In reply to Re: Saturday » geri122, posted by sfmom on January 26, 2004, at 22:56:13
I've been trying so hard to maintain my cool and stay in control. I just don't know anymore. I try so hard to be happy. There are so many things that i want/need and because of how i feel i get scared, i run away. I'm running from a guy who could make me happy, because im scared. I can't turn to those closest to me, how can i turn to one i barley know. Its all a haze. I have been getting these headaches that make me crazy. I just don't know... and i am tired of saying that
Posted by LynneDa on January 29, 2004, at 15:10:26
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 29, 2004, at 14:56:48
Geri - It's okay to admit you need help getting happy and telling us about it is a good way to try and begin the healing process.
Starting a relationship with someone is hard and scary, especially when you are feeling unsure about yourself in the ways that you are. You seem very overwhelmed and I can understand why. What are you scared of exactly? Letting someone in doesn't mean they have to know everything about you in the first few weeks. You can get to know someone a bit without wearing your heart on your sleeve. Take a chance Geri!!! If you know he's a good guy and you know you're strong enough not to let him hurt you, go for it. Let him in a bit! The amount of stress that having a relationship can relieve (by having fun and having someone care about you) could be enough to start turning things around for you.
Can you tell your parents about your headaches? This could be from anxiety, not eating or it could be you need to have your eyes checked! But you really should get it checked out.
Keep us posted sweetie and hang in there, you'll find a way through this and we are here to help as much as we can!
~ Lynne>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I've been trying so hard to maintain my cool and stay in control. I just don't know anymore. I try so hard to be happy. There are so many things that i want/need and because of how i feel i get scared, i run away. I'm running from a guy who could make me happy, because im scared. I can't turn to those closest to me, how can i turn to one i barley know. Its all a haze. I have been getting these headaches that make me crazy. I just don't know... and i am tired of saying that
Posted by sfmom on January 29, 2004, at 17:30:14
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 29, 2004, at 14:56:48
Hi Geri,
I know it seems wierd but sometimes it's a lot harder to open up to the people who are closest to you. One of the great things about therapists is that they do not judge you, no matter what. Also, they've pretty much seen it all so the things that seem so crazy to us actually make sense to them! But it's obvious that you need to talk to someone you can trust. Please keep on posting to us, we'll support you in whatever ways we can, but talking so someone who has been trained to deal with these issues is really helpful and affirming. Take care of yourself and keep us posted.
Love, Lyssa
Posted by LynneDa on January 30, 2004, at 10:31:55
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 29, 2004, at 14:56:48
Hi Geri - Here are a few more thoughts I had.
#1 you have to eat. Even if it's just a peanut butter sandwich or piece of fruit or some string cheese. Something with a little protein may help your headaches. So will water, you may be a bit dehydrated.Some things I do when I feel agitated, out of control, etc.:
* Drink something with caffeine in it.
* Eat some chocolate.
* Scream into a pillow - if you're at school, you could take your coat, go in the bathroom, wad it up and scream. I know, weird, but it helps.
* Walk around outside for a few minutes. Are you allowed to go outside your school building during the day? What about just walking around in the gym or shooting baskets?
* Take 2 or 3 very deep breaths, all the way down to your diaphragm - the place you're supposed to yell from when you cheer so you don't wear out your throat!Do something to change the situation physically at that moment, if you can. Sometimes it helps to stop your mind by focusing on your physical body. Hang in there, kiddo, you will get through this!
~ Lynne
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