![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DramaQueen on January 1, 2004, at 18:36:29
over the holidays i have become a complete sloth! help! i am the biggest procrastinator always it is really screwing up my life :( i can't even get myself to do dishes they just pile up GROSS! any suggestions would be appreciated
i hope i posted this in the right place
Posted by jay on January 1, 2004, at 22:06:56
In reply to can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by DramaQueen on January 1, 2004, at 18:36:29
> over the holidays i have become a complete sloth! help! i am the biggest procrastinator always it is really screwing up my life :( i can't even get myself to do dishes they just pile up GROSS! any suggestions would be appreciated
>
> i hope i posted this in the right placeSounds just like me. :-) But..there is hope. Don't look at the big picture...do it small and step-bye-step. Act as if you have never done it before. Maybe make it a bit of a ritual...and doing certain little things are your "little victories". You are far from being alone on this. Keep posting...
Best,
Jay
Posted by Emme on January 1, 2004, at 22:47:22
In reply to can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by DramaQueen on January 1, 2004, at 18:36:29
Well, I haven't found a good way to not procrastinate on major projects, and I don't always have it in my to keep up with my apartment. But if I can get myself moving, I use the "ten item" method. I tell myself I will put away ten things, like putting a book back on the shelf, hanging up a skirt, whatever. Often, after the 10 things, I'm moving enough to do another 10 things.
Emme
Posted by octopusprime on January 2, 2004, at 0:26:55
In reply to can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by DramaQueen on January 1, 2004, at 18:36:29
> i can't even get myself to do dishes they just pile up
move into an apartment with a dishwasher. it's the best investment ever.
seriously, i would not do dishes without one.
i might come up with some more advice for you later :p
but then again i am a chronic procrastinator
i am considering changing all of my lazy habits at once, like a monkey flinging poo at the wall, in the hopes that some of the habit changing shall stick. but it sounds painful. i'll try it later :p
Posted by DramaQueen on January 2, 2004, at 10:11:57
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by octopusprime on January 2, 2004, at 0:26:55
I think in the area where I live there are only a handful of apartments w/ dishwashers. it sucks! and i can't afford to buy one or move :-(
Here is a disturbing thought, I don't know how long a dishwasher would help for, i top the charts with procrastination, in every part of my life.> > i can't even get myself to do dishes they just pile up
>
> move into an apartment with a dishwasher. it's the best investment ever.
>
> seriously, i would not do dishes without one.
>
> i might come up with some more advice for you later :p
>
> but then again i am a chronic procrastinator
>
> i am considering changing all of my lazy habits at once, like a monkey flinging poo at the wall, in the hopes that some of the habit changing shall stick. but it sounds painful. i'll try it later :p
Posted by DramaQueen on January 2, 2004, at 10:13:55
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by Emme on January 1, 2004, at 22:47:22
Thanks, that is a good idea I will try that
> Well, I haven't found a good way to not procrastinate on major projects, and I don't always have it in my to keep up with my apartment. But if I can get myself moving, I use the "ten item" method. I tell myself I will put away ten things, like putting a book back on the shelf, hanging up a skirt, whatever. Often, after the 10 things, I'm moving enough to do another 10 things.
>
> Emme
Posted by DramaQueen on January 2, 2004, at 10:16:48
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? » DramaQueen, posted by jay on January 1, 2004, at 22:06:56
> > over the holidays i have become a complete sloth! help! i am the biggest procrastinator always it is really screwing up my life :( i can't even get myself to do dishes they just pile up GROSS! any suggestions would be appreciated
> >
> > i hope i posted this in the right place
>
> Sounds just like me. :-) But..there is hope. Don't look at the big picture...do it small and step-bye-step. Act as if you have never done it before. Maybe make it a bit of a ritual...and doing certain little things are your "little victories". You are far from being alone on this. Keep posting...
>
> Best,
> Jay
>
>
Sometimes I feel like I am alone with it, even though I know I am not.
I look at everything in the big picture, shrinking it might be very useful. Thanks
Posted by fallsfall on January 2, 2004, at 18:31:41
In reply to can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by DramaQueen on January 1, 2004, at 18:36:29
I used paper plates (actually plastic) and cups for about 9 months because I couldn't get my dishes into the dishwasher. It was really helpful.
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 3, 2004, at 13:36:19
In reply to can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by DramaQueen on January 1, 2004, at 18:36:29
> over the holidays i have become a complete sloth! help! i am the biggest procrastinator always it is really screwing up my life :( i can't even get myself to do dishes they just pile up GROSS! any suggestions would be appreciated
>
> i hope i posted this in the right placeI was gonna post to this thread before this, but I just didn't get around to it.
Procrastination is a big part of my life. No getting around that. When you've got chronic fatigue, recurrent depression, and joint problems, what else might you expect?
One of the things I've done, to put procrastination in the context of my life, is to put it into the context of my life. Sorry if that sounds redundant, but it is not. So often, procrastination is seen as a comparison of yourself to others. What could be more demoralizing and diminishing than that, if you're not well?
Procrastination serves a purpose in my life. It is a choice, and if I don't come to see the benefits (yes, benefits) it offers me, I will not find out why it is that I choose it (yes, choose it) over other potential paths.
One of the things I do, once I recognize I am procrastinating, is to stop right there. Once I have come to that conclusion, it serves no useful purpose to re-examine the issue again, whether fifteen seconds later, fifteen minutes, or fifteen days. Fine, I am procrastinating. If it comes up again, I literally tell myself to shut up (or to f off, actually). It does draw a little reaction if I do so in public, but hey!, it works for me.
Then, I examine why.
I am fatigued. That is my existence. If I chose eating over eating and doing the dishes after, then I have chosen to conserve my energy, or to limit my energy expenditure to the available energy. I have an energy budget, just as I have one for money. Borrowing energy is just as frought with danger as is borrowing money, as it steals from my future. So, if I don't have the energy, I don't have the energy.
Years ago, this all came to crystal clarity, in the following way. I was going through a very difficult time, one I called my "couch days". I would get out of bed, stumble down the hall, and end up curled up on the couch. At the end of the day, I'd stumble back to bed. I may or may not get up from the couch that day to feed or to bathe myself, but I invariably lay there compulsively looking at the disastrous mess around me, and bemoaning my inability to do anything about it. One day followed another, each the same as the one before it, and the mess just got deeper around me. I was in such a routine, that there even appeared a "Larry-shaped dent" in the futon-couch where I lay every day.
Then, one day, something cognitive happened, that seemed to change everything. I realized that as I approached the couch, and upon seeing that Larry-dent, I would begin to feel self-reproach. I had been telling myself that lying on the couch each day was "resting", but lying there compulsively thinking about what I wasn't getting done wasn't resting in the least. I was fooling myself.
That day, I saw that Larry-dent in a different light. It was the couch, custom-fitted to accept me, to cradle me. And, as I lay down there, I let the couch hold me, and I let myself rest. I thought of none of the mess. I only rested. For the first time, I actually rested there, I came to see. When I got up later, I actually found myself feeling better. And the next day was my last couch day. I never had another one.
I truly believe that beating myself up over getting nothing done was the actual cause of my not being able to get anything done. Sure, I had lots to do to get back on track, but I wasn't wasting energy worrying about it.
That's another part of the problem, seeing the immensity of a task, without recognizing that all tasks are done in little bits. One simple way to change procrastination is to not let yourself pass things that are out of place without picking one up, and putting it back. Not all of them. One of them.
A wise person once told me that she could move mountains. Silencing my protest, she continued, "Anyone can, one stone at a time."
Best,
Lar
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2004, at 13:53:14
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? » DramaQueen, posted by Larry Hoover on January 3, 2004, at 13:36:19
>
> I truly believe that beating myself up over getting nothing done was the actual cause of my not being able to get anything done. Sure, I had lots to do to get back on track, but I wasn't wasting energy worrying about it.
>
I need to really grasp that concept, because I really think it's true. The weight of not doing something is so heavy that it's hard to squirm out from under it to actually get anything done.> That's another part of the problem, seeing the immensity of a task, without recognizing that all tasks are done in little bits. One simple way to change procrastination is to not let yourself pass things that are out of place without picking one up, and putting it back. Not all of them. One of them.
>
> A wise person once told me that she could move mountains. Silencing my protest, she continued, "Anyone can, one stone at a time."
>
That is awfully wise. That's the other thing I do, see the load of what I need to do as that big boulder in Indiana Jones, and the only thing to do is run as fast as I can. I need to see it more as a bunch of little stones (or at least moderate size or large ones, not crushingly gigantic ones).
Posted by LostGirl on January 3, 2004, at 15:45:22
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by octopusprime on January 2, 2004, at 0:26:55
I once went to a workshop on Perfectionism. They said most perfectionists are procrastinators. I don't know if this applies to you, but it did to me. She said perfectionists are not people who line up their shoes in a row. They feel they have to do things really well in order to feel worthwhile and procrastination is a feature of perfectionism because since you set high standards, you can't even approach the things you have to do. I know it's also related to the lack of energy in depression, for me. The only thing that works for me is deadlines. I'll plan to have people over just to force myself to clean the mess.
Posted by DramaQueen on January 3, 2004, at 22:59:11
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? » DramaQueen, posted by Larry Hoover on January 3, 2004, at 13:36:19
>
> I truly believe that beating myself up over getting nothing done was the actual cause of my not being able to get anything done.
hi Larryi totally agree, i think i am making my situation worse, i tell myself regularly that i am such a slob and i tell myself that i will clean up everyday, well nothing ever happens. and i only just identified that i have a procrastination problem, hopefully that is the first step. thanks DQ
Posted by DramaQueen on January 3, 2004, at 23:12:45
In reply to Re: can anyone help with procrastination?? , posted by LostGirl on January 3, 2004, at 15:45:22
> I once went to a workshop on Perfectionism. They said most perfectionists are procrastinators. I don't know if this applies to you, but it did to me. She said perfectionists are not people who line up their shoes in a row. They feel they have to do things really well in order to feel worthwhile and procrastination is a feature of perfectionism because since you set high standards, you can't even approach the things you have to do. I know it's also related to the lack of energy in depression, for me. The only thing that works for me is deadlines. I'll plan to have people over just to force myself to clean the mess.
as contradictory as it may appear to those coming in my home, i do think i have perfectionist traits. everything is such a pigsty except the bathroom, and my cupboards are really organized (probably cause everything is on the floor), i want everything to be perfect even my coffee (i hate when people don't measure). although, i would never have thought procrastination was a perfectionist trait, that is very interesting. now that i think about it, deadlines are awsome! they really do help me function. thanks DQ
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.