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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 8:33:24
I spent the weekend in Charlotte with the family I used to nanny for. It was so nice - so comforting and relaxing and warm and enjoyable. I feel so loved and appreciated when I am with them...if only I could hold onto that feeling when I'm not there!
The kids were running out the door to greet me before I even got out of the car. They are so sweet. And I love them so much.
I told the parents about the child development/social work program in Chicagoland that I received information about, and they were both excited. They mentioned that I could live with them again. I don't know if that's something I would want to do or not, but it's something to consider. At the least, it's nice knowing I'm wanted.
Of course, there's that whole other aspect of leaving my therapist and pdoc behind. Not that this would be anytime soon, but still. I told my pdoc about it on Friday night and he said that by the time I get ready to go, I'll be doing well and we'll just check in when I'm in the Carolinas and by phone. Glad to know he's optimistic.
Anyway - back at work now and I have things to do...
Hope everyone's week is off to an okay start...this is such a rough time of year!
P
Posted by Dog on December 15, 2003, at 11:27:06
In reply to Pretty good weekend, for a change!, posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 8:33:24
i am so glad to hear others are happy! it gives me some hope..
i have so much to be happy for but can't get away from feelings of dread over the Holidays...i am married with a lovely wife and beautiful 9 year old daughter. i grew up in a dysfxn'l/alcoholic home. Though i am a Christian and appreciate the Christ in Christmas very much, i have the worst time with the Holidays, esp. when it comes to over-spending on gifts and such. i mean, i want to give my wife and daughter the best and the most, but know i can't afford it...i am such a dud and i have so much trouble deciding what to get, esp. what to get for my wife as i let her do most of the shopping for my daughter... i feel that whatever i get for her isn't good enough...
am working with a fairly good job and we're all healthy somewhat, but i feel a constant dread during the holidays plus feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness, etc. i don't want to feel these feelings, esp. during the holidays...and esp. don't want to spoil it for my wife and daughter...
anyone have any advice?
Posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 12:36:59
In reply to Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice?, posted by Dog on December 15, 2003, at 11:27:06
Hey,
I saw Penny's post, too, and I was going to post something similar to you. First, Penny, I'm really happy you are feeling better. Wanna tell us your secret? :-)
I have noticed recently that a lot of my friends/acquaintances who deal with depression have all just taken a nosedive into he** in the past month or so. I don't know why that is...holidays....no sun....?
>>i mean, i want to give my wife and daughter the best and the most, but know i can't afford it
<<Gift-giving anxiety. :-) Been there, done that. I'm totally sure that whatever you get is just wonderful and it's only your perception that the gifts may not be good enough. Why don't you establish a new family tradition around Christmastime that becomes associated with *dad.* In my family, we all went to see the christmas lights in heavily decorated neighborhoods. And the big rich guy in town had a HUGE tree (like 150 ft tall) that he decorated with lights and it was just amazing. So Dad piled us into the car and we went around looking at this stuff.When I look back fondly on Christmas, it's the traditions I remember most, never any particular present. Like Mom making stolen for brunch on Christmas Day or Dad making a fire, or family coming over on Christmas Eve. That type of thing. No $$ involved. :-)
There are so many of those Festival of Lights things these days, where it's $12 a carload or something to drive through the Christmas light sculptures and such....do you have any near you?
...i am such a dud
<<Nope, you are not a dud. :-)>>but i feel a constant dread during the holidays plus feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness, etc. i don't want to feel these feelings, esp. during the holidays...and esp. don't want to spoil it for my wife and daughter...
> anyone have any advice?
<<If nothing's really wrong, then I guess it's just a symptom of depression. I'm nooooo expert, nowhere near. But I *do* find that repeating *good* stuff to myself really makes me start to believe it. I *am* a good dad, I *am* a good husband, etc. Really.Another thing my family did later in my life was adopt a family in the area to give gifts to. We did it through the local social services department, and we'd all get gifts and wrap them, and give them to the family. Giving to someone *other* than a friend or relative, someone who really *needs* stuff, is very uplifting to me, very affirming, and helps replace some of those negative, sad thoughts/feelings I get this time of year.
Dunno if any of this helps. But I wish you the best.
Susan
Posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 12:41:22
In reply to Re: Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice? » Dog, posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 12:36:59
>First, Penny, I'm really happy you are feeling better. Wanna tell us your secret? :-)
Not really feeling better all the way around - the work stuff is still here, the financial trouble is still here, the holidays are still here - I just feel better after seeing my munchkins this past weekend! They always brighten my day.
Now if I can transfer that feeling to the rest of my life...
sigh.
P
Posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 12:55:29
In reply to Re: Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice? » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 12:41:22
Penny,
>
> Not really feeling better all the way around - the work stuff is still here, the financial trouble is still here, the holidays are still here - I just feel better after seeing my munchkins this past weekend! They always brighten my day.
>
> Now if I can transfer that feeling to the rest of my life...LOL! I know the feeling. Is there any way you can visit them more often, if they bring such happiness? I know I actually miss my 2-year-old nephew a lot, and I'm not even much on kids in general. But it's a lot of fun being around them....
Susan
Posted by fallsfall on December 15, 2003, at 13:02:38
In reply to Re: Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice? » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 12:41:22
Penny,
Maybe rooming with them in Chicago is a good idea...
Posted by Dog on December 15, 2003, at 13:24:04
In reply to Re: Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice? » Dog, posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 12:36:59
Susan, thanks, your reply really made my eyes start to tear up...you are so right, its not about me and my feelings and my (perhaps just perceived... i hope so) inability to pick out good gifts , its about family, and love, and giving to others, you gave me some great ideas! you are so right, i don't remember hardly anything i got for Xmas as a child, but i do remember the family dinners and get-togethers, and traditions... i so want to be a better father to my daughter and a better husband to my wife... thanks for the good word!
Dog (who feels better this Xmas because of you!)
> Hey,
>
> I saw Penny's post, too, and I was going to post something similar to you. First, Penny, I'm really happy you are feeling better. Wanna tell us your secret? :-)
>
> I have noticed recently that a lot of my friends/acquaintances who deal with depression have all just taken a nosedive into he** in the past month or so. I don't know why that is...holidays....no sun....?
>
>
>
> >>i mean, i want to give my wife and daughter the best and the most, but know i can't afford it
> <<Gift-giving anxiety. :-) Been there, done that. I'm totally sure that whatever you get is just wonderful and it's only your perception that the gifts may not be good enough. Why don't you establish a new family tradition around Christmastime that becomes associated with *dad.* In my family, we all went to see the christmas lights in heavily decorated neighborhoods. And the big rich guy in town had a HUGE tree (like 150 ft tall) that he decorated with lights and it was just amazing. So Dad piled us into the car and we went around looking at this stuff.
>
> When I look back fondly on Christmas, it's the traditions I remember most, never any particular present. Like Mom making stolen for brunch on Christmas Day or Dad making a fire, or family coming over on Christmas Eve. That type of thing. No $$ involved. :-)
>
> There are so many of those Festival of Lights things these days, where it's $12 a carload or something to drive through the Christmas light sculptures and such....do you have any near you?
>
> ...i am such a dud
> <<Nope, you are not a dud. :-)
>
> >>but i feel a constant dread during the holidays plus feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness, etc. i don't want to feel these feelings, esp. during the holidays...and esp. don't want to spoil it for my wife and daughter...
> > anyone have any advice?
> <<If nothing's really wrong, then I guess it's just a symptom of depression. I'm nooooo expert, nowhere near. But I *do* find that repeating *good* stuff to myself really makes me start to believe it. I *am* a good dad, I *am* a good husband, etc. Really.
>
> Another thing my family did later in my life was adopt a family in the area to give gifts to. We did it through the local social services department, and we'd all get gifts and wrap them, and give them to the family. Giving to someone *other* than a friend or relative, someone who really *needs* stuff, is very uplifting to me, very affirming, and helps replace some of those negative, sad thoughts/feelings I get this time of year.
>
> Dunno if any of this helps. But I wish you the best.
>
> Susan
>
Posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 13:40:24
In reply to Re: Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice? » Susan J, posted by Dog on December 15, 2003, at 13:24:04
Hey,
> Susan, thanks, your reply really made my eyes start to tear up...you are so right, its not about me and my feelings....
<<Well, I don't want you to forget yourself either. You deserve to have a good holiday season. :-) But I know what you mean. :-)
>>i so want to be a better father to my daughter and a better husband to my wife... thanks for the good word!
<<I'm sure you are a wonderful husband and father. And just *wanting* to be better, makes you better. How many people do you know who never acknowledge that there's some room for improvement? And everyone can use at least a little improvement....I do feel for you. Both of my parents come from alcoholic families, and I can still see the effects of it. But my parents never acknowledged, and still to this day deny that anything was ever wrong, or that their behaviors are a little off. *You* can break out of it, though. I have faith. :-) Your eyes are open so everything is possible.....
Posted by Dog on December 15, 2003, at 14:04:41
In reply to Re: Xmas/Holiday Depression! Any advice? » Dog, posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 13:40:24
Susan, i really want to stop the cycle of addiction... both i and my wife come from alcoholic families...its not been easy...and, i am ever vigilant of my daughter that she is as little affected by our sometimes dysfxn as possible...ACOA and CODA meetings, though i haven't gone in awhile, have helped... and most of all God has helped! He is so good!
thanks again,dog
> Hey,
>
> > Susan, thanks, your reply really made my eyes start to tear up...you are so right, its not about me and my feelings....
> <<Well, I don't want you to forget yourself either. You deserve to have a good holiday season. :-) But I know what you mean. :-)
>
>
> >>i so want to be a better father to my daughter and a better husband to my wife... thanks for the good word!
> <<I'm sure you are a wonderful husband and father. And just *wanting* to be better, makes you better. How many people do you know who never acknowledge that there's some room for improvement? And everyone can use at least a little improvement....
>
> I do feel for you. Both of my parents come from alcoholic families, and I can still see the effects of it. But my parents never acknowledged, and still to this day deny that anything was ever wrong, or that their behaviors are a little off. *You* can break out of it, though. I have faith. :-) Your eyes are open so everything is possible.....
>
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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