![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 8:29:58
Some of you may remember, my brother's wife suddenly left him and their 2-year-old son a few months ago. They've been sharing *N*, the baby, about 50/50 since then. But N is really starting to *hate* going over his mom's house.
Yesterday, as my brother packed him up to go spend the day with the mom, brother said *we're going over to play at Mommy's*, N got upset and didn't want to go, and said, *I don't like Mommy.*
Isn't that horrible?
What to do? Even though brother really wants custody, he wants N to have a good relationship with his mom, wants her to be in his life a lot. Any kid advice? Brother is going counseling for himself now, and has an appt. with a psychiatrist to see what's the best thing to do for N....
S.
Posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 8:37:46
In reply to Heartbreaker. :-(, posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 8:29:58
N is not too young for therapy. In fact, I think it would probably be a great help to him if your brother sought out therapy with a good child therapist now while the child is still so young. These are when the problems start.
As for N having a relationship with his mom...I can completely understand your brother's point, but at the same time, if N is feeling insecure about being with his mother, which it sounds like he is, then maybe the arrangement could be changed somewhat. But I really think that taking N to a child therapist and getting his or her input into what would be best for him is the right route to take.
I hope things improve for your brother and the baby.
P
Posted by Susan J on December 15, 2003, at 8:46:05
In reply to Re: Heartbreaker. :-( » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 15, 2003, at 8:37:46
Hi, Penny,
> N is not too young for therapy. In fact, I think it would probably be a great help to him if your brother sought out therapy with a good child therapist now while the child is still so young. These are when the problems start.
<<Yeah, that's why he's seeing the p doc on Friday. I'm really proud of the brother. My whole family is so upset with his wife for just up and leaving them, we can't be objective. But brother's not displaying any hostility, especially in front of N, and really wants N to be happy with his mom. I personally, would want the mom out of the picture because I think she's really messed up and hasn't bonded with N, and that's the real reason she left.
> if N is feeling insecure about being with his mother, which it sounds like he is, then maybe the arrangement could be changed somewhat.
<<That might be true. I think my brother is afraid of an ugly custody fight and doesn't want his wife to think he's *stealing* N or anything. In Maryland, at least, for a kid so young, I think the courts favor an arrangement where one parent has primary physical custody (like 5 days a week), for stability and routine, and are willing to modify it when the kid gets older.
>>But I really think that taking N to a child therapist and getting his or her input into what would be best for him is the right route to take.
<<You are absolutely right. Brother is a first time parent, my family's not the healthiest model in the world, and brother really wants his son to be happy and well-adjusted. So a professional's advice would help a lot.
>
> I hope things improve for your brother and the baby.
<<Thanks!S.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.