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Posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 1:04:46
In reply to Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION, posted by kara lynne on August 11, 2003, at 20:17:14
My doctor had written my diagnosis as Chronic Refractory Depression and they somehow turned it into aggression.
Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2003, at 2:36:41
In reply to In case that wasn't clear..., posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 1:04:46
Chuckle. I was wondering about that, and searching my mind to recall if you were in a country that didn't follow the DSM-IV guidelines.
I wonder when DSM-V is coming out? Sorry, just a tangent.
Do you think that taking the test when you're feeling a bit better than you were last time will be enough? My friend who was unceremoniously dumped right before a licensing test and spent a fair portion of the test in the bathroom throwing up retook the test about six months later and did fine.
Posted by yesac on August 12, 2003, at 8:56:28
In reply to Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION, posted by kara lynne on August 11, 2003, at 20:17:14
Yeah, I was wondering about that diagnosis too!
I feel like I should know this, but what is the exam for?
Posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 12:54:14
In reply to Re: In case that wasn't clear... » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2003, at 2:36:41
Hi Dinah,
Well I sure hope I'm feeling better by then--October something. I haven't studied a wit since the test, I mean nothing. But moving twice in six weeks will do that to a girl.Maybe just being out of the chaos will help, as well as the fact that they've redesigned the format to make it less confusing (!) (that oughtta say something in my defense...)
Because at this rate I'm not up to jumping through the hoops to get that additional time--it's making me far too chronically aggressive.
Dolts. Hrrrmph.
Thanks.
Posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 13:00:52
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION » kara lynne, posted by yesac on August 12, 2003, at 8:56:28
Hi yesac,
No, I haven't said because I'm too nervous in the face of all these exams. I'll be more comfortable talking about it after I re-take the test.Except now all of you know I had to take part of it twice so maybe I'll feel worse saying it...!
Oh, it's very difficult, this career thing yesac. I have never had one, and I'm trying to gather momemtum before the chance slips away. It's hard when depression takes over and I literally do not want to do anything, and I can't muster interest to do what I've at least gone to school for.
Today I will have my 2nd therapy session. He seems to be focused on my getting that together, so maybe it will help.
How have you been doing?
Posted by yesac on August 12, 2003, at 13:25:21
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION/ yesac, posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 13:00:52
I'm not really doing too well lately. Up and down, but just really sad overall and feeling like my life is extremely pathetic. I know that I really need to get more involved in some activities or something, but yeah, it's kind of that momentum thing - like it just seems to take too much effort to try to find something and then actually do it.
I understand about being so nervous about a big test. I guess most people probably do, but it is worse when you are depressed and it's so hard to get yourself to study. And when you feel that your future rests on the test to some degree. That's how I felt for a number of months earlier this year, when I was gearing up to take my GRE. I took it in June and did well (at least, well enough), so that was a huge burden off my mind. Anwyays... I'm probably not making you feel any better about the test though, am I?
I'm just starting off on the career path, too. Sort of. This is really my first real job out of college, well, second if you count a year of AmeriCorps. And this job is certainly not my "career job." I know what I want for my career, but I have some work before I get there. I'm applying for grad school this fall, and I am EXTREMEMLY afraid of not getting in. Of course, I won't even know until next spring, and I already know that if I don't get in, if I get that small flat envelope instead of the big thick one.... it will just crush me. But, I'm getting way ahead of myself.
Only your second therapy session? Second ever, or is this with a new therapist? Well, I hope that it goes well!
Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2003, at 18:31:19
In reply to Re: In case that wasn't clear...Dinah, posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 12:54:14
>
> Because at this rate I'm not up to jumping through the hoops to get that additional time--it's making me far too chronically aggressive.
>
ROFL.> Dolts. Hrrrmph.
>
You should try my now proven method for dealing with dolts. Get totally hysterical and cry. Not that I'm really recommending it, but it got me in one day what a month of sweet reasonableness couldn't deliver.
Posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 18:47:35
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION/ yesac » kara lynne, posted by yesac on August 12, 2003, at 13:25:21
Hi yesac,
I know just what you mean. It's that inordinate response---some people would fail tests repeatedly in school and not even question whether or not they should go on living. A mystery to me.You sound quite smart to me-- I want to be reassuring about your getting into college, but I know sometimes that's hard to take in or can make someone feel worse----ok, I'm really projecting now. I hate to be dumb, but what does GRE stand for?
I think it's really cool that you studied all that neuroscience in college, by the way.
And no, not 2nd session ever. Second session this round. I've been in counseling but not with a psychotherapist during the past few years. Before that I had some pretty screwed up experiences with therapists, and just plain not-so-effective therapy.
How about yourself? I'm sorry you're not doing so well. I feel very much the same way. And this therapist today did nothing much more than make me feel my pathetic-ness.
It's such a Catch 22 about the activity thing when you're depressed. It doesn't *always* make you feel better, but sometimes I try to push myself, but sometimes I'm just too tired, but then I'm lonely.....
Posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 18:51:21
In reply to Re: In case that wasn't clear...Dinah, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2003, at 18:31:19
Hmmmm....and there must be a DSM code for that...that might just do the trick!
It would hardly be a stretch for me.
Posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:45:40
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION/ yesac, posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 18:47:35
> I know just what you mean. It's that inordinate response---some people would fail tests repeatedly in school and not even question whether or not they should go on living. A mystery to me.
Yeah, it's funny. I don't think that I've ever failed any test (oh god, sorry, not to make you feel bad!)... but the point is, even without failing, I question whether I should go on living all the time. Whether I am a "failure" and my life is pointless and I'll never "succeed". I guess it just means different things to different people, and people have different ways of judging themselves. There are some people who by all accounts could be considered a "loser" (including several of my ex-bfs and my sisters' ex-bfs --> we just seem to have that knack). Not that I would say such a thing about anyone. But anyways, these people might be totally happy and content though, or at least not really care about these things that haven't exactly worked out for them. I guess I'm rambling, sorry.
> You sound quite smart to me-- I want to be reassuring about your getting into college, but I know sometimes that's hard to take in or can make someone feel worse----ok, I'm really projecting now. I hate to be dumb, but what does GRE stand for?Thanks for the reassurance. You are right - it is sometimes hard for me to take such encouragement because I am just so filled with self-doubt. But it is nice, nonetheless, to have other people think that I seem worthy or smart or good in whatever way. I think somewhere deep down I believe it too, but I see my shortcomings above all else, and I see how much better other people are compared to me. GRE stands for Graduate Record Exam - it's a standardized test for getting into grad school - like the SAT except for grad school not college.
>
> I think it's really cool that you studied all that neuroscience in college, by the way.Thanks. It was a very fascinating major in many ways. But it also makes you realize how much you *don't* know.
> I've been in counseling but not with a psychotherapist during the past few years. Before that I had some pretty screwed up experiences with therapists, and just plain not-so-effective therapy.
Counseling not with a psychotherapist? What kind of counseling was it? That's too bad about your past therapy experiences. I think that it can just be really hard to find the right therapist. Like I said above (in the other thread), I really think that if that guy didn't strike you the right way, maybe he isn't for you. I don't think any therapist should ever make you feel pathetic... I think that they should always be gentle even if they are being confrontational, and they should show their compassion for you and your feelings, whatever they may be. At least that's what I expect from a good therapist for myself. I guess others might like it more rough!
> It's such a Catch 22 about the activity thing when you're depressed. It doesn't *always* make you feel better, but sometimes I try to push myself, but sometimes I'm just too tired, but then I'm lonely.....
Yeah, and there's no way to know. Sometimes I really do feel better. Other times, I feel just as bad being out and I can't wait to just get the activity over with and go home. Usually, though, I do feel glad that I actually did something.
Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 12:40:05
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION/ yesac » kara lynne, posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:45:40
Hi yesac,
That was actually my first fail. My therapist said I should frame it. And may I defend myself? She doth protest too much, but I have to keep saying they are *restructuring* the exam because it was too confusing for people. I knew the answers, that's what's so frustrating. But the way they had it designed you had to measure, and if you measured wrong all your answers were wrong. I know I'm not explaining this well, sorry. It's just that I feel like I have to pay for someone's disorganized exam format. I do have to pay for it.By now I'll have to study all over again, but this time the exam will be multiple choice, no pin the tail on the donkey kind of thing. But the fact that they're making this so hard for me to get extra time is truly humiliating. It's like I have to really prove how defective I am, and I'm too defective to prove it. I think I'm just going to let it go and take it in the allotted time. If I can just get myself to pick up studying and not have to focus on moving and getting away from an abusive boyfriend, maybe I'll do alright.
Thanks for letting me qualify my failure. Failure really is an inside job, and my mission should I decide to accept it--or not.
Posted by lil' jimi on August 14, 2003, at 1:16:52
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION/ yesac, posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 12:40:05
hi kara lynne!
hi yesac!i saw this great link posted by jrbecker and i wanted to make sure y'all saw it.
see http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa006&articleID=00083A00-318C-1F30-9AD380A84189F2D7
i figure the more we can understand about this, the better our chances finding our individual solutions.
and i also see benefits of having a context for assessing the effects we experience from medication and that process offering guidance in discovering our keys.there IS hope.
we CAN survive this.
we WILL find the solution(s).yesac, i'm pulling for you!
hang in there!!kara lynne, do not call your ex!
... read mind boosters
... read this article for me
... read the meds posts
... read the lex thread
... sing, dance, exercise
... write poetry ... post it for us
... (and you too on all of these, ms yesac ... please?)
... anything
BUT do NOT call him!take care!!
~ jim
Posted by kara lynne on August 14, 2003, at 13:25:03
In reply to re: neuroscience, posted by lil' jimi on August 14, 2003, at 1:16:52
Thanks jimi!
That's so cool to hear from a guy. It gives me new inspiration.
I will go read the article now...
Posted by lil' jimi on August 14, 2003, at 15:32:19
In reply to re: neuroscience, posted by kara lynne on August 14, 2003, at 13:25:03
Kara Lynne!
> Thanks jimi!
>
> That's so cool to hear from a guy. It gives me new inspiration.
>
> I will go read the article now...well, you're just as welcome as all get out!
And, as a guy, Do Not Call ex-o!
too many fish in the sea ...
aggravate your-own-self ... you can do it better than anybody ... ... why bother with the inept, when you're good enough for your own suffering!... ... so, okay, the goal is to not do the pain and suffering thing any more ... ... well, the way to start is to ....
NOT CALL HIM!!!
kisses!
~ jim
Posted by kara lynne on August 14, 2003, at 18:31:03
In reply to re: neuroscience, posted by lil' jimi on August 14, 2003, at 1:16:52
Yes, our dear Noa who (I forget why) hasn't posted for awhile presented us with a lot of amygdala information. I told her she should start a band called "Noa and the Flaming Amygdala's". She said I could sing back up--or even lead.
Posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 1:29:39
In reply to re: neuroscience, posted by kara lynne on August 14, 2003, at 18:31:03
>
> Yes, our dear Noa who (I forget why) hasn't posted for awhile presented us with a lot of amygdala information. I told her she should start a band called "Noa and the Flaming Amygdala's". She said I could sing back up--or even lead.oh, could i join?
... .. ... or i could be your roadie? ... ... please?hi, noa! ... ... where ever you are .... ... ... hope you are well ... .... you are missed here ... ...
... Ah, Mig, Dallah! ... on fire!!
Posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 2:40:31
In reply to re: noascience » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 1:29:39
Yes of course you can! Whatever position you want. Just find our dear noa and let's get started...
Posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 3:14:02
In reply to re: noascience, posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 2:40:31
well, then maybe i could open for y'all with the
"Lexapro Rockers"!
?
~ jp.s. hello noa, you out there?
Posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 13:09:36
In reply to re: noascience » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 3:14:02
Where is noa? Did you used to talk with her?
NOAAAA.....
GRACIEEEE...
Posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 14:24:39
In reply to re: noascience, posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 13:09:36
> Where is noa? Did you used to talk with her?
>
> NOAAAA.....
>
> GRACIEEEE...yesac posted to me just this morning that she recalls noa saying she was taking a break from pb ... ... or something ... ? ... but yesac seemed to know about her.
i never posted to noa nor to whiterabbit ... well, maybe to gracie a little, but not like i'd expect her to know or remember me ...
.... .... although, i did read their posts quite a bit ... ... maybe i posted to noa once too .... ? .... something to look up to see just how bad my memory is/was/has gotten ...
even so, i miss them too .... so i upgraded our subject line, just to give Noa a shout ...ever look in the archives to read your own old posts?
i have.
scary ... i way underwhelm myself.
do you like to drink coffee?
~ jim
Posted by gabbix2 on August 15, 2003, at 17:14:46
In reply to NOA !!!! we miss you !! » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 14:24:39
Noa said she'd be offline for a while,
we still miss her though.
WhiteRabbit, I'm worried about.
Posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 17:19:41
In reply to NOA !!!! we miss you !! » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 14:24:39
LOVE coffee. Strong and bad for me. Every day.
Posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 17:20:29
In reply to Gracie I'm worried :( » lil' jimi, posted by gabbix2 on August 15, 2003, at 17:14:46
Isn't there anything we can do??
Posted by Sabina on August 15, 2003, at 17:33:59
In reply to Re: Gracie I'm worried :( Me too gabbi, posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 17:20:29
...and this is what i've been asking for three weeks. can't we do anything when a poster (gracie, in this case) says shes living in an increasinly volitile household and asks us to "call the cops" in case she disappears? i've been more than a little worried.
Posted by lil' jimi on August 15, 2003, at 17:58:34
In reply to Re: NOA !!!! we miss you !!, posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 17:19:41
> LOVE coffee. Strong and bad for me. Every day.
me too .... strong ... guatemalan !
... ... my "cup" holds 32 oz.
.... ... aka a QUART !
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