Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by catachrest on July 31, 2003, at 15:21:42
I'm getting really freaked out here. Why can't I cry? I get these huge upwellings of sadness, and feel wretched like I should be crying, and I want to cry, but I just sit there like a stone. The closest I can get is breathing a little differently, and a little moistening in my eyes. I feel like I would feel better, if only I could have a good cry. I find myself even at work, trying to make myself cry just for the catharsis, though it still doesn't work.
I hate this! I feel like I'm just plugged, stopped from all movement in any direction, emotionally, like I'm in stasis or something....Sigh. Nothing ever changes.
Susan
Posted by Dinah on July 31, 2003, at 16:22:13
In reply to Why can't I cry?, posted by catachrest on July 31, 2003, at 15:21:42
Wow. I really know how you feel. I sometimes think that's how therapy works. The only place I really allow myself to cry is there. Sometimes something will happen where tears will race down my cheeks, outside therapy, but it isn't the sort of cathartic crying that helps.
The only other thing I try to do that has any effect at all, and that is just a stronger almost crying, is crank up the emotions. Watch "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" or "A River Runs Through It", listen to "No More Tears in Heaven". There's another one too, can't recall it right now. Dog stories can work (the darn dog always dies), but I dislike that feeling so much that I avoid them anyway.
Do you go to therapy? It's amazing the way that works. It's like a crying permission slip.
Posted by yesac on July 31, 2003, at 17:24:11
In reply to Why can't I cry?, posted by catachrest on July 31, 2003, at 15:21:42
Are you on any meds? I've heard of some people not being able to cry even though they felt like it, because of meds.
Posted by catachrest on July 31, 2003, at 22:52:44
In reply to Re: Why can't I cry? » catachrest, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2003, at 16:22:13
I only wish I were in therapy. I can't afford to pay for it myself (my bills are such that my next three paychecks are pretty much spoken for), and I can't get in to see the publically-funded people (I live in Canada) until October - the waiting list is that long. :( :( I'm looking into other options, but right now I'm feeling somewhat outlet-less.
I'll try the emotional movie angle: sounds like it might have promise! Thanks.
> Wow. I really know how you feel. I sometimes think that's how therapy works. The only place I really allow myself to cry is there. Sometimes something will happen where tears will race down my cheeks, outside therapy, but it isn't the sort of cathartic crying that helps.
>
> The only other thing I try to do that has any effect at all, and that is just a stronger almost crying, is crank up the emotions. Watch "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" or "A River Runs Through It", listen to "No More Tears in Heaven". There's another one too, can't recall it right now. Dog stories can work (the darn dog always dies), but I dislike that feeling so much that I avoid them anyway.
>
> Do you go to therapy? It's amazing the way that works. It's like a crying permission slip.
Posted by catachrest on July 31, 2003, at 22:54:51
In reply to Re: Why can't I cry? » catachrest, posted by yesac on July 31, 2003, at 17:24:11
I have been on Effexor for two weeks (just finished the 14th day) but haven't noticed any real effect other than a slight decrease in panic attacks, a lot of yawning, and some really crazy dreams. I don't know if I can attribute this to the drug though - I haven't cried in months and months.
> Are you on any meds? I've heard of some people not being able to cry even though they felt like it, because of meds.
Posted by KimberlyDi on August 1, 2003, at 8:37:30
In reply to Why can't I cry?, posted by catachrest on July 31, 2003, at 15:21:42
<copied from an earlier post of mine. it applies. my, i'm getting lazy.>
Have you forgotten how to cry? I have. Oh, I'm improving. Angry or hurt tears can squeeze out of my eyes, almost with me unaware of it. But those gut-wrenching sobs, when you give up CONTROL of your emotions and just feel... I can't do it. It's like I locked the door and threw away the key.
>
My husband ran over my cat, my special cat. The one abandoned by its mom and I had to hand feed. So scrawny & fearless with tiny legs/paws smaller than my pinky finger. She would stand by my feet, barely taller than my shoes, and meow at me to pick her up. Demanding. Imperial. Adoring. Full grown, she was half the size of a normal cat. My mini-meow. ANYWAYS, when he ran over her I felt nothing. My heart was frozen. I was also numb from side effects from Effexor.
I should have been hurt. I should have grieved for her. I was too successful in protecting my heart years ago. I don't know how to undo the damage that I did back then.Wish you luck,
KDi in Texas> I'm getting really freaked out here. Why can't I cry? I get these huge upwellings of sadness, and feel wretched like I should be crying, and I want to cry, but I just sit there like a stone. The closest I can get is breathing a little differently, and a little moistening in my eyes. I feel like I would feel better, if only I could have a good cry. I find myself even at work, trying to make myself cry just for the catharsis, though it still doesn't work.
>
> I hate this! I feel like I'm just plugged, stopped from all movement in any direction, emotionally, like I'm in stasis or something....Sigh. Nothing ever changes.
>
> Susan
Posted by catachrest on August 1, 2003, at 11:18:34
In reply to Re: Why can't I cry?, posted by KimberlyDi on August 1, 2003, at 8:37:30
>I was too successful in protecting my heart years ago. I don't know how to undo the damage that I did back then.
>Wow, that sounds familiar....That's exactly how I feel, often! I used to cry so much as a child, and finally I made myself stop because I couldn't stand being called a baby anymore, and now it takes a big, tempestuous grief for me to really cry - I hide my feelings too well now, even from myself.
Just on the lighter side for a moment - have you ever heard of Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts? This is one of my favourites:Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.
This is the end of the thread.
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