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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 8:19:23
I called him last weekend. After him calling me on Thursday, I felt I had a right to call him.
He did not answer his phone or his messages. The worst is I pull into the parking lot and there he is sitting in his car, pulling his hair back.
I am so weak to him, it hurts so much.
Sleep has always been my get away from everything, but now he is there everynight in my dreams. There is no getting away from him.
How do I stop this cycle? It is affecting everything from work to even sleeping.
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 9:31:24
In reply to Yep, I called him... I am so weak., posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 8:19:23
I am only doing myself harm. And bringing him into it also. He says he did not call back because I had told him before not to call me anymore...
Ohh yeh... and I am using the Allergies excuse for my eyes today! But I do not think anyone is buying it.
Posted by lostsailor on July 21, 2003, at 10:12:32
In reply to Please help... I just emailed him. , posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 9:31:24
>>Ohh yeh... and I am using the Allergies excuse for my eyes today! But I do not think anyone is buying it.
<<Perfect, ask someone to get you some benadryl and drift off to sleep.
I wrote in another post yesterday that I prefere my dream life to my waking one often...I wonder if they can just be reversed with serious CBT??
(gig)
~tony
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 10:26:04
In reply to Re: Please help... I just emailed him. , posted by lostsailor on July 21, 2003, at 10:12:32
I wish there was something just to make everything go away, all the pain and heart break. I guess there are meds out there that clear your memory, that sounds worthful right now.
Yeh, I have so many medical problems, they know I have a drug for everything, and they know not to ask me for something like asprin or motrin.... They laugh at my med chest in my purse!
But what do I do about him? Give me a guys point of view please....
> >>Ohh yeh... and I am using the Allergies excuse for my eyes today! But I do not think anyone is buying it.
> <<
>
> Perfect, ask someone to get you some benadryl and drift off to sleep.
>
> I wrote in another post yesterday that I prefere my dream life to my waking one often...I wonder if they can just be reversed with serious CBT??
>
> (gig)
> ~tony
>
Posted by lostsailor on July 21, 2003, at 10:30:50
In reply to Re: Please help... I just emailed him. » lostsailor, posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 10:26:04
maybe just the truth as, and I hate to say this, it you wont just get over it....
((giget))
~tony
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 11:43:05
In reply to Re: Please help... I just emailed him.--giget, posted by lostsailor on July 21, 2003, at 10:30:50
Are you saying that
"I am never going to get over it" or
"I will not let myself get over it"
Thanks for being honest, I would rather have that then someone telling me a lie to make me feel better.> maybe just the truth as, and I hate to say this, it you wont just get over it....
>
> ((giget))
> ~tony
Posted by gabbix2 on July 21, 2003, at 12:57:32
In reply to Re: Please help... I just emailed him » lostsailor, posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 11:43:05
Giget Its been an awfully short period of time,
for heavens sake it takes me longer than two weeks to get over dating someone I didn't like!Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes you don't completely get over someone, especially the first person you have real feelings for, but it does always fade to a liveable level, I can promise you that.
And don't be surprised if you think you're over him, and you start dating other people, and then your feelings for him resurface,
because they don't measure up, that happens too.
It just takes time. And it takes a lot longer than two weeks.
Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to feel the pain. Thats what all those love songs are about.Take care of yourself.
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 13:20:51
In reply to Re: Please help... I just emailed him » giget, posted by gabbix2 on July 21, 2003, at 12:57:32
Thanks for your words. I have been fighting this for 2 years now. We were so on and off, that I have thought ever other breakup was the last. How much more of my life can I devote to this? 5 years, 2 more on and off...
It is great haveing somewhere to vent... thank you people!
Posted by girl on July 21, 2003, at 13:46:47
In reply to Yep, I called him... I am so weak., posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 8:19:23
We have drugs for all our psych needs. How come there aren't drugs for when we're having relationship trouble? It would be nice, wouldn't it?
Hang in there, gidget. it hurts like mad and it's worse when you can't even escape him in your sleep. It will get better, just not fast enough for you.
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 14:22:39
In reply to Re: Yep, I called him... I am so weak., posted by girl on July 21, 2003, at 13:46:47
Thanks I am still looking for another job, so at least I will not have to see him here along with in my dreams.
Our lives were so involved with eachother, that now we can not escape!
Posted by kara lynne on July 21, 2003, at 14:24:18
In reply to Re: Yep, I called him... I am so weak., posted by girl on July 21, 2003, at 13:46:47
You are human. And he called you first (??)
I am trying to regain some power by realizing that (at this point) my angst is no longer all about him. "He" becomes the focus of it all, but it's not really all about him.
My (for lack of a better term) 'dysfunction' has me repeateldy going back to places for love and validation where I will not get it. That is where I can get some power back--regaining control over that pattern.
You are going to kill me for saying this, and I'm sorry in advance, but you are young. Not that it doesn't hurt at much, because I believe it does, and not that you didn't invest a lot of time with him because you did invest a significant amount of time. I'm only saying that because you really do have so many opportunities ahead of you. Maybe you really will move to California, who knows?
And I go through the same thing--I told my therapist yesterday that I still wasn't over my first boyfriend--how would I ever get over this one? That's when she reminded me that I was repeating an unfinished pattern--God, I hate to sound so psycho-babbly (!) but it's true. It's not the guy, that's true; the guy was a first class alcoholic, abusive jerk. Why would I still want *that*? But something keeps me stuck.
She told me, and I will pass it on to you, that the key is 'forward movement'--something I find extremely difficult. You are already on track, you are working and doing things with your life--you are looking at possibilities for really moving, to another state.
The idea being that when you do your own life it gathers momentum, and brings you who and what you need to be happy.
This is so hard for me to do that I'm forgetting it while I'm writing the sentences, so I don't claim to be in any more enlightened a postition as you. Actually it's an opportunity for me to practice it myself, to try and share it with you.
Well I hope I haven't made you angry--I'm off to my pdoc to discuss more meds that I've already tried that won't work the 5th time around either.
With hope and hopelessness in the ring together--neck and neck...
Kara
Posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 14:43:24
In reply to You are not so weak., posted by kara lynne on July 21, 2003, at 14:24:18
I am so happy to hear the truth from people, it makes me see the real life.
ummmm I called first, shrinking in her seat, but he called back and that is why I called again.I am still very younge... you are correct. I even look younger than I am also. Each person is different at different stages of life. I will learn from experiences and learn how to deal with emotion like this... I can not wait.
I am making a big deal of this, because this is all I know. My life to this point and even now is so absorbed with him and the dream.
I will continue to try to push forward, it is just so overwhelming some times.
Thank you for helping me. Funny when you got kicked out I was the one giving advise... now I am the one who is a complete wreak, and saying it to everyone, and you are my advisor. Thank you....
Posted by lostsailor on July 21, 2003, at 19:30:14
In reply to Re: Please help... I just emailed him » lostsailor, posted by giget on July 21, 2003, at 11:43:05
we all have hearts...I don't know if I meant either, but I do think it's ok to say "hey for now I am upset with this and it is f****n* hard so please try to be kind"...know what I mean???
maybe it's just me that is so tired of trying to make up excuses for having feelings...???~tony
~~Are you saying that
"I am never going to get over it" or
"I will not let myself get over it"
Thanks for being honest, I would rather have that then someone telling me a lie to make me feel better.~~
This is the end of the thread.
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