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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kara lynne on May 19, 2003, at 21:45:10
Wish I had a good therapist. I currently see a counselor (not formerly a therapist, but therapists see her for counseling), but the lines are too blurred. We're friends, but we're not, but we are...
Had tragic experiences with therapists in the past; albeit many years back. One fell in "love" with me, then politely thanked me after 4 years of "therapy" and dismissed me as an object of his projection. When I first met him he told me how he would "love me until I could love myself", and how he would be the first healthy, non-sexualized male influence in my life. Well I still have the inappropriate letters he would write later (with his license number on the letterhead!), but it was so long ago that he can no longer be found. I had a psych. teacher try to help me with this, to try and get that elusive and magical state of closure, but we didn't get anywhere. I actually believed that we had a unique relationship that no-one would understand if I told them---just like he said. Straight out of a Lifetime Channel afterschool special.
That on the heels of dating a therapist for a year. I began as his client also, but only for a few sessions before we "changed" the relationship. And he's a PhD., yadda yadda teaches graduate psychology. Needless to say the relationship failed drastically. And yes, I've considered I might have some father issuues.
I was since in therapy with a woman (smart, huh?), but it only seemed to go so far. We got to the "snap your wrist with a rubber band" routine every time you get obsessive, self-hating thoughts-- and that was about as deep as it went. And that rubber band snapping thing has never worked very well for me.
I'm lonely. I'm isolating. I could have gone to a meditation class tonight where everybody knows my name, but I went home to "show them" and feel sorry for myself. This is never effective. On top of that I'll spend the whole night thinking I should have gone, AND there's no TV on. The bachelor has already made his decision.
Finally, I need to be studying (hello bookgurl) for one more licensing exam in a month, and I am slacking dangerously.
Help? Or just...hello??
Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2003, at 0:43:18
In reply to I So Late, posted by kara lynne on May 19, 2003, at 21:45:10
Wow, it's hard to believe that there are therapists like that out there. You'd think that in today's litigious society, they'd make sure to keep their noses clean. I'm sorry you had such rotten luck.
Even your female therapist doesn't sound all that great. My therapist has suggested the rubber band thing a few times, but accepts that it isn't inordinately helpful for me.
Any chance you could try again, perhaps a different woman therapist? Screened carefully for some common sense and insight, of course. I guess therapists are like anyone else. There are some good ones and some not so good ones.
Is your exam soon? Should we start nagging (with affection of course)?
Hang in there, Kara Lynne.
Posted by whiterabbit on May 20, 2003, at 0:48:51
In reply to I So Late, posted by kara lynne on May 19, 2003, at 21:45:10
For heavens sake, you've HAD some bad luck. I was fortunate in that area, my first therapist turned out to be a very good match for me. But I've picked some bad apples myself out of the insurance provider book, I suspect that happens to nearly everyone with alarming frequency. I had a GP whose peculiar ways started to spill over into downright wierdness. The last couple of times I went to see him at his private office, he was accompanied by a young man in a white coat who was introduced as a resident or intern or something, but he didn't look like any resident or intern to me. He was really scruffy and he smelled bad. I got the creeps and didn't go back.
My next GP was another loser and I dumped him pretty fast. The guy I have now is great, though-
very smart, very careful, very concerned. I feel safe with him, which is how you SHOULD feel with any medical professional worth their salt. I'm in the medical field myself and part of my job is to convey to the patient that they are in good hands.
Actually, that's a fine description for many people who are good at their jobs, whether you're hiring a lawyer or a caterer. You should feel confident that you are dealing with someone who is competent and cares for your well-being without crossing the professional line.I don't think you feel that way with your current therapist/counselor and I can sure understand why you would feel discouraged after the experience you've had. I know it's hard to cut your losses and start all over again...all we can do is cheer you on and reassure you that there ARE good therapists out there, and you need a really good one to overcome the emotional damage that's been done by some decidedly unprofessional professionals. And part of being a good therapist is maintaining the distinctive roles of therapist and patient.
-Gracie
Posted by kara lynne on May 20, 2003, at 2:10:09
In reply to Re: I So Late » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on May 20, 2003, at 0:43:18
appreciated!! My test is in a little over 4 weeks and I'm verging on blowing it. I've made registration deadlines by the skin of my teeth (not my usual retentive, responsible self). My heart is just not in it, but I'm going to try and do it anyway and hope to have a heart in something someday.
I hope you are feeling better, Dinah. I know you're having a bear of a time adjusting right now. My boyfriend has Type 1 Diabetes, he'd be overjoyed to trade it in for Type 2, but I know that doesn't make it any better for you. This taking care of ourselves thing is really a lot to ask.
Thanks for posting.
Posted by kara lynne on May 20, 2003, at 2:19:30
In reply to Next therapist please..., posted by whiterabbit on May 20, 2003, at 0:48:51
Hi rabbit, thanks for posting. You just never know. You can pay $140 for a 45 minute session with someone credentialed up the walls and be very disappointed (this really happened). OTOH, I had a friend who was seeing an intern at a clinic for over 2 years at less than $20 bucks a pop and it was the best therapy she'd ever had.
I'm kind of collapsed around it right now. I want the therapist to come knocking at my door and tell me she/he has finally found me. And they have my future husband in tow.
It is a careful process that may take time. I do have some numbers of people recommended that have been lying on my desk for over a year. I guess I could call one...
Posted by lostsailor on May 20, 2003, at 7:30:00
In reply to Re: Next therapist please..., posted by kara lynne on May 20, 2003, at 2:19:30
Hi Kara Lynne,
Well no need to tell you that it was HIM that crossed all the lines. I think you know what's up there. The father figure thing: might be on to something.
I am glad to see you posting, It seems that you had vanished for a bit. I hope all is well. How's the sometimes on sometimes off relationship going>>?? I hope it's a bit better.
Oh, and what are you being lic for. I am always in need of people with letter after their names to help me with something...=:)
In pieces at the moment--luckily I see doc in 3 hrs. I see new med and , hopefully, a new pen as well in my immediate future...
In peace,
~tonyoh, oh...well forget it. I'll post it another time
Posted by kara lynne on May 20, 2003, at 12:23:56
In reply to Re: Next therapist please..., posted by lostsailor on May 20, 2003, at 7:30:00
Hi Tony,
Good to hear from you as well. My boyfriend is currently vexing me with good behavior. (You know what they say about inconsistency driving children nuts...)What meds are you going to try? Let us know how the doc appt. goes. I'm sorry to hear you're in pieces. You should only be in peace.
K.L.
Posted by lostsailor on May 20, 2003, at 19:26:10
In reply to Re: Next therapist please..., posted by kara lynne on May 20, 2003, at 12:23:56
uuuggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!
Appointment was vexing…
I am "glad" to see things are finally "working out" with you two. Yes, I know what you mean, but maybe he has seen the "light" as I think he has quite a good "catch" right now and , perhaps, he too has finally realized that as well. I don't mean to , make you sound like you are a boring piece of fresh-water cod , but. I think you know that..lol
Doc appt. was rather frustrating. "we're" ( I love that we’re trying “upping lexapro and ambian, and next time 'maybe' the xanax, too"--that would be 10 mgs a day...or 80 mg valium, my choice as “I know what works better“…
As I was leaving, he mentioned that "we" could , perhaps, dig into the MAOI's"--I got p'oed-,reminded him that when I mentioned that 5 yrs ago when he told me to look @ the profile of them and he said the side-effects and precautions (e.g., dietary restrictions, weight gain, water retention ect) were not what "he" would like with the advent of all the SSRI's available and the "minimal" side effects that occur with them."
As I was leaving, I asked him, what "we" really means??--as in, “do you try all of this in concert with me" --"doc. do you know what this is like and that if these are in your own words a med of last resort these in this day and age, what if they don't work… To be honest, at least now, though not feeling well, I can still eat without needing to know all of the ingredients, inc beans--I am a vegetarian, so...???" Of course, he coily answered that he does not swallow all of these to see what he feels like as I "stole" his new Prozac mini-basketball--stating that "I might as well leave with something useful." He said "well' explore things further after this change current change. .. Now off the pharmacy, with my, umm, 7 scripts--3 of which are PRN---how does one deal with three meds to be used as needed BUT never to combine all three, just two???-- just to find out that the xanax re-fill order will pass the 30 day re-fill limitations in NYS and that I'll need to go back to the office and get a new one in a few weeks--I get 3 months at a time.
I have had so many second opinions it is sad. My mom is gonna now "call in a favor" to a pdoc who I played little league baseball with her son ---who I have already seen for a second opinion--does this equal a second opinion squared??
I am sure I will get into her before I see him again, but he is literally noted as one of the best in NYS pdoc literature citations, and she was the one that pointed me in the direction to look on medlib, a great database.
I can go out and exercise now at length, my "meditation on the move" as I call it --b/c I need to concentrate on things so much as I am constantly pushing physical limitations, I can't afford to dwell on things while on a 50 mile bike ride at 25 mph and be able to eat, drink, watch traffic and worry all at once. I am fine, though sadly enough at home, but function fine anywhere other than my own city, as I hate the “what‘s been doing“ that I always get from friends--NYC, bean town and Toronto are my favorites due to the fact that people are literally stepping over the homeless and all are somewhat neurotic and pay no notice to me.
I am at wits end almost and he knows that, but at the same time, he readily admits, that we have almost exhausted all med combos and CBT is only of limited use for me as are groups.
I am seriously thinking about joining the Peace Corps, Salvation Army or Red Cross to get to somewhere 'sane" like Afghanistan...Today after researching though, I found that it is really hard to get into the PC, but the others are “promising”
Sorry to babble so on babble...lmao.
Congratulations are given to all that were able to read this post in it's entirety. Anyone, anyone want to adopt a neurotic????
In peace now that I am at home,
~tonyps...of course Aurora's p'oed at the fact that I will not move out of her house and only come to work at "the farm" instead of having to reside here as well.
My goodness, look at all the quotation marks!!!
>>pieces<< I feel like "a china doll just a lil' fractured from the fall"
Posted by kara lynne on May 21, 2003, at 1:52:20
In reply to Re: Next therapist please...KL and all, posted by lostsailor on May 20, 2003, at 19:26:10
Hi Tony,
I hope you don't leave Aurora anytime soon in favor of Afghanistan. Also I wouldn't go so far as to use those 'working out' words for me and the boyfriend, so you better stick around for the rest of the story.I'm sorry you had such a frustrating appt. I actually felt similar to you when I left my drs. last week, like we had just reached the end of the line. Only I was convinced that was what he was thinking too, and I still am. (And I *did* try MAOI's. )
Do you think the lexapro is dong anything for you? I couldn't take the jaw clenching/muscle tension and switched back to Celexa. I wouldn't completely eliminate the MAOI trial if I were you; I'm sure you've seen our resident miracles here from time to time in response to them.
If it's any help to you, you're not alone. Sometimes it's the only help I have. (((Tony))) K.L.
Posted by noa on May 21, 2003, at 19:34:55
In reply to Re: Next therapist please...KL and all, posted by lostsailor on May 20, 2003, at 19:26:10
>>I am seriously thinking about joining the Peace Corps, Salvation Army or Red Cross to get to somewhere 'sane" like Afghanistan...Today after researching though, I found that it is really hard to get into the PC,
BTW, the Peace Corp can be very hard on the volunteers' mental health. A lot of them are very isolated, which can drive a lot of people over the edge. My therapist has done work for the peace corps doing therapy by phone, etc. and evaluating if someone should come back to the states for treatment. From what he tells me it doesn't sound like the best situation for someone already in the throes of struggling with depression, etc. And, I guess, as you say about how hard it is to get in, I bet they screen for such vulnerability.
Maybe you are on the right track, though, and should get involved locally in a project of some sort.
I have been thinking something similar. Lately I have been feeling like I am tired of all my self-absorption and should get back into volunteering. I used to volunteer regularly at a hospital program but the program shut down. I started to look into another volunteer opportunity after that, and visited, got the papers to fill out, etc. and then September 11th hit, and I never got back on track with that.
I should. I think it could help me put things in perspective better.
This is the end of the thread.
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