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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by photojenny on March 23, 2003, at 12:32:46
HiI`m not coping at all with this whole war/conflict situation ... I don`t want to know about it, but I feel I should. So I end up watching all the stuff on the telly, and my mood just ends up on the floor. I hate this because I just end up feeling too bad to do anything at all (my motivation isn`t great at the best of times).
Any ideas?
Anna.
Posted by beardedlady on March 23, 2003, at 13:02:18
In reply to The War - coping strategies, posted by photojenny on March 23, 2003, at 12:32:46
Hi, P.J.:
If you are addicted to the war coverage (as many of us are) and find that once you turn on the TV, you can't turn it off, try using it as a reward for doing something.
For example, don't allow yourself to turn on the tube until you've earned it, say, doing laundry, finishing a report, shopping for groceries. Assign some catch-up time with each task; in order to watch more, you have to do more.
I don't watch the coverage. I would rather watch comedy or a soap opera, if I watch TV at all. Lately I'm drowning myself in music--Nick Hornby's new book has a great CD attached, and it's got Paul Westerberg and Teenage Fanclub on it, so I've been listening to that and the Walkmen.
But every now and again (about half an hour ago today for the first time), I turn it on to see what's transpired. And here's what I learned: A British plane was shot down by a Patriot Missile; some (10? 12?) Americans took a wrong turn and were ambushed by the Iraqis; 10 Americans were captured by the Iraqis and POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death; a U.S. soldier in Kuwait threw a grenade in the tents of his sleeping unit, killing one and wounding the others; and a British journalist was killed by friendly fire.
That's my death quota for the day, I'm afraid. It's back to spring cleaning for me.
I hope this reward system works for you. I find it helpful in motivating me when I'm low, as I'm less likely to cheat on myself (except when it comes to overeating--and why is that?).
Good luck, P.J.
beardy
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2003, at 13:05:23
In reply to The War - coping strategies, posted by photojenny on March 23, 2003, at 12:32:46
I'm guessing that it is a relatively individual thing. I have more anxiety when I have less information, and less anxiety (tho a significant amount of sorrow) when I have more information.
No matter what though, it is unsettling, and unsettling is never good for me.
I guess the thing that is most comforting to me is sharing my sorrow and fears. I was at church today, and you would have never been able to tell whether anyone in particular was opposed to the war or backed the US administration. We were united in praying for the safety of American soldier and Iraqi citizen alike. We were praying for a swift end to the war with minimal pain to everyone involved. And that, I found comforting.
But that was what *I* found comforting. Someone else might find something else works better for them.
Posted by photojenny on March 23, 2003, at 14:15:20
In reply to Re: The War - coping strategies » photojenny, posted by beardedlady on March 23, 2003, at 13:02:18
> If you are addicted to the war coverage (as many of us are) and find that once you turn on the TV, you can't turn it off, try using it as a reward for doing something.
I`m reassured to know that I`m not the only person here with this compulsion. It makes no sense to me; it brings me right down and yet I can`t stay away ... I suppose it`s about being a `responsible and aware`. Maybe.
>
> For example, don't allow yourself to turn on the tube until you've earned it, say, doing laundry, finishing a report, shopping for groceries. Assign some catch-up time with each task; in order to watch more, you have to do more.That sounds really sensible.
>
> I don't watch the coverage. I would rather watch comedy or a soap opera, if I watch TV at all. Lately I'm drowning myself in music--Nick Hornby's new book has a great CD attached, and it's got Paul Westerberg and Teenage Fanclub on it, so I've been listening to that and the Walkmen.I didn`t know that Nick Hornby has a new book - what`s it called? I`ve never heard of Paul Westerberg, but I`m a HUGE fan of the Teenage Fanclub.
>
> But every now and again (about half an hour ago today for the first time), I turn it on to see what's transpired. And here's what I learned: A British plane was shot down by a Patriot Missile; some (10? 12?) Americans took a wrong turn and were ambushed by the Iraqis; 10 Americans were captured by the Iraqis and POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death; a U.S. soldier in Kuwait threw a grenade in the tents of his sleeping unit, killing one and wounding the others; and a British journalist was killed by friendly fire.Yes - it`s a very bad business indeed.
(except when it comes to overeating--and why is that?)
Why is that?
Anyway, thanks a lot for the reply. I often use CBT techniques when things are really bad, which you may know is about challenging negative thoughts. E.g. if I`m telling myself I`m a total failure as a person because I`m single, I`ll write a list of all the stuff I`m saying (`I`m ugly`, `I`m unloveable` etc etc) and go through and challenge each one. Doesn`t always help, but enough times to be worth it. However with this war stuff, I can`t `reason` at all ... so your reward thing is probably a good idea.
Thanks again,
Anna.
Posted by photojenny on March 23, 2003, at 14:33:42
In reply to Re: The War - coping strategies » photojenny, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2003, at 13:05:23
> I'm guessing that it is a relatively individual thing. I have more anxiety when I have less information, and less anxiety (tho a significant amount of sorrow) when I have more information.
>
> No matter what though, it is unsettling, and unsettling is never good for me.
>
> I guess the thing that is most comforting to me is sharing my sorrow and fears. I was at church today, and you would have never been able to tell whether anyone in particular was opposed to the war or backed the US administration. We were united in praying for the safety of American soldier and Iraqi citizen alike. We were praying for a swift end to the war with minimal pain to everyone involved. And that, I found comforting.
>
> But that was what *I* found comforting. Someone else might find something else works better for them.Hi Dinah
Thanks for replying. `Unsettling` is a bad trigger for me, as is uncertainty and change. This conflict has all of these PLUS all the added sorrows of human death and pain etc. It`s a truly horrible thing.
I`m glad that you can get some comfort from the church; not being a religious person, this isn`t an option for me. But I can see how helpful it would be. It seems that there are casualties now on every side.
Anyway, I really appreciate your reply.
Thanks,
Anna.
Posted by beardedlady on March 23, 2003, at 15:19:51
In reply to Re: The War - coping strategies » beardedlady, posted by photojenny on March 23, 2003, at 14:15:20
Anna (sorry for the P.J. previously):
The book is called "Songbook." It's not Nick's best, and I don't think he's as wise a music interpreter as he thinks he is! But the songs he has written about are terrific.
Paul Westerberg is from The Replacements, another fab band.
beardy : )>
P.S. Everyone has compulsions, including and especially me. That's why I've been cleaning my closet for the past four hours. I'll reward myself with a little news time in a minute!
Posted by OddipusRex on March 23, 2003, at 16:42:08
In reply to Re: The War - coping strategies » photojenny, posted by beardedlady on March 23, 2003, at 13:02:18
I heard that they were shot in the forehead execution style. As horrible as war is, I hope that this was not true and they died in battle.
It's also horrible to think of women and children used as human shields.
It's horrible to think of accidental casualties.
It's horrible for me to see the young soldiers that live near me and know they may be asked to go.
I despise the newscasters who are treating this like the superbowl.
I can't imagine someone using watching the war as a reward for anything.
Posted by beardedlady on March 23, 2003, at 16:58:33
In reply to POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death » beardedlady, posted by OddipusRex on March 23, 2003, at 16:42:08
> I can't imagine someone using watching the war as a reward for anything.
Then maybe you didn't understand that the idea was to keep a person from watching the war and being rendered immobile. And maybe you don't understand my position on the whole thing. Maybe you do.
The word "reward" is about the closest word I could find to what I meant. If you find a better one (that matches my meaning), by all means, substitute it.
beardy
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2003, at 17:03:09
In reply to POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death » beardedlady, posted by OddipusRex on March 23, 2003, at 16:42:08
> I can't imagine someone using watching the war as a reward for anything.
Aww, Oddipus. You know Beardy didn't mean it like that. She hates the war and the loss of life. She was just talking about dealing with the obsession with the news.
I tend to be obsessed myself, although it's limited by a husband who doesn't want the war coverage on at all. I get anxious when I don't know what's going on. But the war coverage makes me agitated. Especially things like what you spoke about.
It is all horrible and so unspeakably sad.
I hate the way the reporters seem so excited, too. But I think it's also good to have war coverage with reporters in the field. Anything that reminds people that war isn't a John Wayne movie. It's also a good thing to hear relatively independent descriptions of the reaction of the ordinary Iraqis to the soldiers, and the treatment of ordinary Iraqis by the soldiers. I guess we just need to wait out their adrenaline rush. They sound today like they might be coming to their senses a bit.
I continue to be impressed by the attitude of the military, though. I guess that senior military officials more than anyone know the stark reality of war.
Posted by OddipusRex on March 23, 2003, at 19:47:52
In reply to Re: POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death » OddipusRex, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2003, at 17:03:09
> > I can't imagine someone using watching the war as a reward for anything.
>
> Aww, Oddipus. You know Beardy didn't mean it like that. She hates the war and the loss of life. She was just talking about dealing with the obsession with the news.
>
Okay if you say so. Thanks for responding.My obsession seems more like standing vigil to protect people. It seems like I have to be there. I have to stand with them. I know that's crazy but I honestly don't think going out on the streets a and screaming is going to help either or I'd do that too. Even if I turn the TV off I can hear planes etc from the base near me. I can't ever forget. I am also obsessed with torture. I keep thinking about all the Kuwaiti prisoners who have been missing all these years since the first Gulf War. No one ever says anything about them. Do you think they'll be left alive if The US goes into Bagdhad but I think I would would want to hear the bombs and know someone was finally coming even if I was dead before they came. I'd take that chance. I'd want to die knowing I hadn't been forgotten. So it's all gotten personal to me and in other ways as well. It's not just checking a body count. And the chemicals,etc. What I worry about is smallpox or something like that being set loose. End of the World time. No going back now total helplessness. Armageddon awaits.
So have a nice day! Sorry to dump all this on you. You're a very kind person. Thanks I'm supposed to go see a councellor Tues. I feel like I don't really want someone to see me this crazy but I guess that's kind of the point.
Posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 6:15:15
In reply to POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death » beardedlady, posted by OddipusRex on March 23, 2003, at 16:42:08
> I heard that they were shot in the forehead execution style. As horrible as war is, I hope that this was not true and they died in battle.
>
> It's also horrible to think of women and children used as human shields.
>
> It's horrible to think of accidental casualties.
>
> It's horrible for me to see the young soldiers that live near me and know they may be asked to go.
>
> I despise the newscasters who are treating this like the superbowl.
>
> I can't imagine someone using watching the war as a reward for anything.
OddipusI understand all that war entails, and the whole concept of war as `entertainment` (or some kind of gruesome soap opera). I don`t know about these `newscasters` you are taking about - the UK reporters/newsreaders are NOT treating the conflict like a superbowl, or whatever the English equivalent would be. (It actually seems to me that the worst offenders for this type of presentation are the US military.) But there ARE those who watch every grisly detail for extremely questionable reasons.
Having read beardedlady`s post to me, I am absolutely certain that she is not one of those. I understood immediately what she was getting at - the use of the word `reward` is one I can relate to. It isn`t an accurate description, but it`s actually the only word that she could have used. I think you have misunderstood what she was saying altogether - obviously images of death, combat, suffering etc. are horrific and I don`t think that anyone was disputing that.
My point was that, having spent 5 years absolutely immobilised by my depression (something I didn`t mention), I work very hard to keep it at some kind of manageable level in order to function. I find the whole war thing very difficult for similar reasons (I`m sure) to most other people. I feel that I *need* to know about what`s going on, so I watch the TV. I then have to work doubly hard to stop myself from going completely under ...... at the end of the day there is absolutely nothing I can do about the situation. I joined a million people in February in London, to protest against the war - this had no impact whatsoever. So - is it actually necessary for me to spend hours in front of the box? Probably not. But, as beardedlady pointed out, it`s hard not to - hence her 'reward' remark. I took her to mean that doing other things *before* catching up on events, and limiting viewing is a way of dealing with the horrors of the situation (I could be wrong, but I think this is what she meant).
Anna.
Posted by OddipusRex on March 25, 2003, at 6:48:19
In reply to Re: POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death » OddipusRex, posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 6:15:15
Posted by beardedlady on March 25, 2003, at 6:53:19
In reply to Re: POWs, and four were, possibly, shot to death » OddipusRex, posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 6:15:15
Posted by OddipusRex on March 25, 2003, at 8:35:42
In reply to Disagree about UK newsreaders/reporters (nm) » photojenny, posted by OddipusRex on March 25, 2003, at 6:48:19
Posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 12:49:00
In reply to Thank you, Anna. (nm) » photojenny, posted by beardedlady on March 25, 2003, at 6:53:19
Hi
How come I can`t read the posts? When I tried to read the replies to my last post, all I got was my earlier post ... and what`s this `nm` thing?
I`m probably being really stupid, but I have no idea what`s going on. Could someone let me know?
Thanks a lot
Anna.
Posted by beardedlady on March 25, 2003, at 13:37:46
In reply to Re: Thank you, Anna. » beardedlady, posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 12:49:00
Posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 15:24:25
In reply to NM means No Message inside! : ) (nm) » photojenny, posted by beardedlady on March 25, 2003, at 13:37:46
Posted by lostsailor on March 27, 2003, at 11:36:08
In reply to Re: Right!! Thanks for that ... :) (nm) » beardedlady, posted by photojenny on March 25, 2003, at 15:24:25
to voice my opinion on the war topic. It all seems just so sureal to me. ~tony
Posted by lostsailor on March 27, 2003, at 18:52:16
In reply to not that I'm not interested but I have been trying, posted by lostsailor on March 27, 2003, at 11:36:08
This is the end of the thread.
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