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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by elbee on February 22, 2003, at 22:48:16
Hello. I'm new here. Am in school but in early 30s. Recently got a crush on a guy in school & realized he just thought I was probably an undesirable loony. I'm not sure...but sometimes it seems really hard to perform and be bpd because there are often embarrasments. Or there are occasions in school when I look less competent than others (due to being drugged up, etc.). I'm trying not to care too much. But it's hard. It can be liberating to care less about what other people think (after mentally processing the humiliation). However, it's really hard. How have others experienced/dealt with this?
Posted by notagain on February 22, 2003, at 23:23:54
In reply to Bpd: must I always be so embarrased?, posted by elbee on February 22, 2003, at 22:48:16
hi again
i am embarrassed all the time around people too and feel strange and uncomforgable and anxious. i do know what you mean. i was doing a little better on ssris but lately have been very anxious again. im not sure that is the same thing you mean, but i do undertstand feeling embarrassed.
Posted by elbee on February 24, 2003, at 12:54:03
In reply to Re: Bpd: must I always be so embarrased?, posted by notagain on February 22, 2003, at 23:23:54
Thanks notagain. That makes me feel that someone can relate...Hope you get hooked up with pdoc for the anxiety & reasons discussed in prev. thread. Write back about what's going on.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 24, 2003, at 13:32:39
In reply to Re: Bpd: must I always be so embarrased?, posted by elbee on February 24, 2003, at 12:54:03
I also have BPD..
I hate it.. I want to be free of it...
CBT is *really* helping me.. a huge amount.. but having a temporary blip and feeling like crap...
Sorry.. promise to be more positive next week :o)
Nikki
Posted by rayww on February 24, 2003, at 14:58:42
In reply to Bpd: must I always be so embarrased?, posted by elbee on February 22, 2003, at 22:48:16
Right before I was diagnosed Bipolar, I thought most of my ideas were fairly good and normal. I went to some business seminars to do with developing personal skills needed to be outgoing and assertive, overcoming fear, how to master small talk, etc, stepping outside the box, and stuff. Well, I got motivated and did I ever step outside the box. Instead of trying to subdue and control my "swinging", I let it fly and took it as far as it would go. Bad move.
After being diagnosed I became embarrassed for all my previous actions, thinking my whole life had just been invalidated. I tried to lock my ideas inside a box, and I stopped writing.
I have now decided that's not the way to go either. With the understanding I have gained since being diagnosed, and reading on PB, I am ready again to go back to the training. I find it very helpful to listen to motivational speakers and tapes. It is also helpful to walk, not necessarily for aerobics, but slowly to look around and think and clear your head.
You can learn how to change the tape in your head that is playing to your embarrassment. Learn to take risk and extend yourself a little more. I think we all get embarrassed when we take a risk. Just writing to you here makes me feel embarrassed because I don't know if this is a good idea or if I'm swinging out of control again with a bad idea. That's a risk with bipolar, one that we all have to learn to live with.
Posted by lostsailor on February 25, 2003, at 1:21:42
In reply to Re: Bpd: must I always be so embarrased?, posted by rayww on February 24, 2003, at 14:58:42
Actually Elby it is not over. Actually, although seeing my pdoc and beings treated for maj. depression, recurrent and a variety of anxiety disorders. When depressed it sucked. When manic it was great until you come down and find the past three weeks you, me at least, have been out causing more disarray in my life. Once diagnosed Bp, though, and fond the right meds my mood is almost totally stable but doc is allowing me to take a slightly lower dose of my mood stablelizor
and live with almost a slightly elevated mood but not manic or hypo manic. Life is odd from actions in the past, prior to meds, but definitely better.Your meds and treatment will help what you may look at now Chaos and regain perspective. actually BPD is one of the more manageable psych diagnoses'
Good luck keep us posted...
~toyn
Posted by elbee on February 25, 2003, at 18:49:01
In reply to Re: Bpd: must I always be so embarrased?, posted by rayww on February 24, 2003, at 14:58:42
Thanks. I agree with your message about taking risks. Maybe I'm too easily humbled by my own feelings of self doubt if a risk doesn't work out. Thanks for the motivation/insight.
This is the end of the thread.
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