Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 10:03:00
Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who on earth that is looking back at you?
I remember that I have a long slim frame, with perky breasts and a flat stomach. My face, while never pretty, looked like my Dad's not my Mom's.
Then I look in the mirror and see this thing that bears no resemblence to the me I see in my mind, and I say "Who are you, and why are you occupying my space?"
(It's exceptionally startling when I'm in a good mood, and expect to see "Happy Dinah" looking back at me.)
Posted by Ted on November 17, 2002, at 12:14:02
In reply to Do you ever..., posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 10:03:00
Hi Dinah,
> Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who on earth that is looking back at you?
All the time. I have never in memory liked my image/reflection. Having to shave is the ultimate in torture.
> with perky breasts
I never had perky breasts. Maybe that was my problem.
Ted
Posted by NikkiT2 on November 17, 2002, at 13:27:43
In reply to Do you ever..., posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 10:03:00
I have just spent the weekend at my inlaws... they got some photios out of the past few smonths and they anded me one, and I htough "who the hell is that.. they're look awful and very fat"... suddenly the realisation hit that it was me... it was a hideous moment.
I *have* to get slim... I can't live without getting slim... but I don't know what i can do.. I started a diet two months ago.. the first month I was great, took Xenicol and eat really well.. this month I just can't seem to turn away from temptation.. and I'm so hungry all the damned time and I feel so sick all of the time and I haven't touched the xenicol for 3 weeks *sighs* I can't even face going to the docs as he'll weigh me.. Now I have run our of my celexa (took last one on thurs) and feel wierd (not too bad though after effexor withdrawal!).. and to top it all.. my husband "made advances" on me for the first time in 9 monthd.. we had sex and it hurt so damned much and I bled afterwards... I wasn't *coughs* dry at all.. so now I have to ask doc about this too... Oh, and did I mention that I have yet another (about 20th in 2 years) ear infection and its oozing onto my face and causing a rash....
I hate mirrors... they are the worst thing int he world... I avoid them all I can...
Sorry.. gone of on one haven't I... sorry for disrupting your thread
Nikki
Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 13:40:55
In reply to Re: Do you ever..., posted by NikkiT2 on November 17, 2002, at 13:27:43
Not a disruption at all! I have the same problem with photos, and have been known to stab myself out of them. I duck photos most of the time, because I just don't like that person in the photos. Fortunately I don't look at mirrors or photos that often, so it's everyone else who has to suffer through looking at me. That doesn't give me enough incentive to go thru the misery of losing weight. Of course, I've had people tell me I'm doing a terrible disservice to my son because he'll want to have photos of me, and won't care that I'm fat. So maybe I'll let them take some pictures of me again.
It's not even really the fat. It's more of the discrepancy between what I think I look like and what I actually look like.
Some truly honest soul once told me in great surprise while looking at my photos from long ago "Hey! You used to be pretty!" in great and honest and not unkind amazement. :)
Take care of your health, and see your gyn, who I'm sure can straighten things out. What a disappointment after nine months. :(
Oh, and I've got swimmers ear again, and am trying to avoid going to the doctor because this is the second time in a few months and he's going to want me to give up baths, I just know it!!! And that I just can't do.
A commiserating,
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 13:47:24
In reply to Re: Do you ever..., posted by Ted on November 17, 2002, at 12:14:02
> Hi Dinah,
>
> > Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who on earth that is looking back at you?
>
> All the time. I have never in memory liked my image/reflection. Having to shave is the ultimate in torture.Oh, you poor thing. I don't have to look at the mirror that closely. Just to make sure my hair isn't sticking straight up. Unless of course ... Well, never mind - entirely too much information. First time I've ever felt sorry for men in grooming areas.
>
> > with perky breasts
>
> I never had perky breasts. Maybe that was my problem.
>
LOL. I suspect it wouldn't have had the confidence generating ability in young men that it does in young women. :)
>
> Ted
>
>
Posted by Phil on November 17, 2002, at 16:04:44
In reply to Re: Do you ever... » Ted, posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 13:47:24
I avoid the mirror. Just check in every so often to make sure I don't have toner on my face. Everytime I look, I don't like what I see.
What's worse, had my picture taken at work last week in a group shot.
Holy sh*t!! Who's that pale person with a face only Ted Kennedy could love. First picture in years..I've got work to do.
Posted by Tabitha on November 17, 2002, at 16:28:11
In reply to Do you ever..., posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 10:03:00
Dinah, I'm telling you, soft-focus is the answer. Those darn cheap 35mm cameras with auto-focus are the root of all this trouble. And for that mirror? A coat of vaseline over the glass. In all the lamps, 25 watt pink bulbs. We can all be young and lovely again!
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 18, 2002, at 9:14:35
In reply to Do you ever..., posted by Dinah on November 17, 2002, at 10:03:00
> I remember that I have a long slim frame, with perky breasts and a flat stomach. My face, while never pretty, looked like my Dad's not my Mom's.
-------------Well, that implies that you at least appreciated your own appearance at some time in the past. I've never been entirely pleased with the way I look. Too boyish and slender (like 133lbs and 5'10" kind of slender). It hasn't been until now, at 30, that I can even grow a beard. I seem to have all the qualities that women would like in themselves, but none that they would like in the opposite sex.
The main weirdness of the mirror is the confrontation of myself altogether. Looking into my own eyes and having that moment of dissociation where it amazes me that I'm that guy, and wondering what other people think of him.
Just as bad is hearing myself on tape. Agh.
Posted by Tabitha on November 19, 2002, at 2:34:00
In reply to Re: Do you ever... » Dinah, posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 18, 2002, at 9:14:35
don't discount yourself Eddie Sylvano. boyish can be very appealing. personally i've always had a thing for androgynous skinny guys. i wonder... does that make me a closeted lesbian?
and Dinah, if you want yet another way to feel better about aging naturally, just browse some celebrity plastic surgery horror websites. Your Melanie Griffith, your Mary Tyler Moore, Michael Douglas, etc. Be proud to sag, bulge and wrinkle. The alternative is sooo unpleasant.
Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2002, at 4:51:39
In reply to Re: Do you ever... » Dinah, posted by Phil on November 17, 2002, at 16:04:44
I do like the Vaseline idea. I wonder what hubby would say.
Oops, Phil, a bit of toner right there, yes, under that eye...
Yes, Tabitha, you're right about plastic surgery. If it doesn't work well for the rich and famous, I'm sure not going to do it. I don't actually mind getting older. And I've got a chubby face that doesn't wrinkle easily. :) Now that's looking on the bright side.
The nice part is that this only bothers me when I'm in a good mood. The rest of the time I look in the mirror and say "Yeah, that's me all right".
Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2002, at 5:02:32
In reply to Re: Do you ever... » Dinah, posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 18, 2002, at 9:14:35
> Well, that implies that you at least appreciated your own appearance at some time in the past. I've never been entirely pleased with the way I look. Too boyish and slender (like 133lbs and 5'10" kind of slender). It hasn't been until now, at 30, that I can even grow a beard. I seem to have all the qualities that women would like in themselves, but none that they would like in the opposite sex.
Tabitha is right, boyish is attractive. Don't underestimate yourself. I don't know that I've ever been pleased with the way I look. At seventeen I would have probably complained about all the flaws, and there were quite a few. But for some reason, I think all very very happy seventeen year olds are lovely in their own ways. And I want to recapture that very very happy again, I think, more than the looks. And that sense of possibility.
> The main weirdness of the mirror is the confrontation of myself altogether. Looking into my own eyes and having that moment of dissociation where it amazes me that I'm that guy, and wondering what other people think of him.
Yes! That's it exactly! Altho I rarely wonder what others make of my appearance. Something to look forward to as you move from thirty to forty. But it's that feeling that you just aren't who you expected to see. There's an intellectual awareness that, yes that me. But no psychic recognition. At a gut level, I see that person as an intruder who stole my very physical space.
Posted by Tabitha on November 20, 2002, at 1:43:58
In reply to Re: Do you ever... » Eddie Sylvano, posted by Dinah on November 19, 2002, at 5:02:32
darn I hate getting old. my eyesight just isn't as sharp as it used to be.
bwa ha ha.
This is the end of the thread.
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