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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on September 24, 2002, at 14:17:18
"Oblivious Spouse Syndrome"
I've told my husband that I think about killing myself fifty times a day and he still comes home from work and expects a happy, huggy welcome from a smiling, perky wife.
What the hell is that about?
Posted by Ted on September 24, 2002, at 14:40:35
In reply to OSS, posted by tina on September 24, 2002, at 14:17:18
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on September 24, 2002, at 15:06:52
In reply to OSS, posted by tina on September 24, 2002, at 14:17:18
> I've told my husband that I think about killing myself fifty times a day and he still comes home from work and expects a happy, huggy welcome from a smiling, perky wife.
> What the hell is that about?
----------------------------If you haven't actually tried to kill yourself, it probably seems like an exotic and unlikely event to him. Also, I've noticed that people who have never been suicidal lack the ability to understand and appreciate the gravity of the situation, especially since there isn't any visible problem. They think that you're just "being theatrical," trying to get their attention. Probably much like how some people find it difficult to understand how someone could be homosexual. "Why don't they stop that?"
I find it hard to tell my girlfriend of 2 years about my problems, because I don't think she really gets it, either. I'm usually dismissed with "Oh, you're fine. Why do you keep thinking about it?" And she's even been depressed.
Posted by IsoM on September 24, 2002, at 16:48:52
In reply to OSS, posted by tina on September 24, 2002, at 14:17:18
It's also possible that it's his coping style - if he pretends everything is normal & he continues with a happy facade, maybe it'll make you happier. He's probably thinking if he 'feeds' your depression, it'll only grow. It's what stems from another person not understanding depression or not *wanting* to understand it.
If you can get him to accompany you to your pdoc (if he's a good doc), or to a family counsellor, you may both benefit from opening communication about depression between you & your husband.
This is the end of the thread.
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