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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Squiggles on September 23, 2002, at 9:30:43
My genius husband has a very
'biological psychiatry bent' with
regard to meds and the general
controversy; i am far for more
critical and have immersed myself
in the anti-psychiatric literature.I've not come to any final conclusions,
but let's just say i am far more sympathetic
than he is.Unfortunately, this has caused a lot
of problems, and irreconcileable disputes.Do you guys have this problem? Should i
back down - a lot is at stake - but i also
don't wish to stress my marriage and
wonderful husband.thanks for reading this - it's really the
first time i speak of it openly and i hope
i am picking the right Psycho place.Squiggles
Posted by Ted on September 23, 2002, at 11:57:05
In reply to Conjugal bliss~, posted by Squiggles on September 23, 2002, at 9:30:43
Hi Squiggles,
> Do you guys have this problem? Should i
> back down - a lot is at stake - but i also
> don't wish to stress my marriage and
> wonderful husband.By all means, back down.
We (wife and I) don't have this sort of disagreement; our disagreements are of a different nature. However, using your own words, you have a wonderful husband. So let me propose something that works well for us and for many couples: Agree to disagree and agree not to force your own beliefs on the other. Both partners must abide by these rules. You will be much happier for it.
Our example is the following: I am atheist and my wife is catholic. She doesn't drag me to mass and I don't prevent her from going (I even take her myself sometimes). I don't make fun of the superstition and dogma of her religion and she doesn't nag me that I'll burn in the fires of hell. It's called *compromise*.
Ted
Posted by Squiggles on September 23, 2002, at 16:06:34
In reply to Re: Conjugal bliss~, posted by Ted on September 23, 2002, at 11:57:05
Thanks Ted, i like your answer which
I guess that means that is the attitude
i prefer - it does get hairy at times;But religion? Oy Vey-- good luck :-)
Squiggles
Posted by Ted on September 23, 2002, at 16:21:58
In reply to Re: Conjugal bliss~ » Ted, posted by Squiggles on September 23, 2002, at 16:06:34
Squiggles,
> Thanks Ted, i like your answer which
> I guess that means that is the attitude
> i prefer - it does get hairy at times;Thanks.
> But religion? Oy Vey-- good luck :-)
Well, we've been married 15-1/2 years and have one child. Luck? No, compromise.
Ted
Posted by Squiggles on September 23, 2002, at 17:32:59
In reply to Re: Conjugal bliss~ » Squiggles, posted by Ted on September 23, 2002, at 16:21:58
I am tempted to say may things which
your wife may not approve of --
"compromise" - is that what the kids
are calling it now? say no more :-)Squiggles
Posted by Tabßitha on September 23, 2002, at 22:17:36
In reply to Conjugal bliss~, posted by Squiggles on September 23, 2002, at 9:30:43
I'm glad to see you over here. Drop in anytime you need a break from all those left-brained med experts (god love 'em.)
Tabitha
Posted by Squiggles on September 24, 2002, at 7:15:35
In reply to Re: Hi Squiggles, posted by Tabßitha on September 23, 2002, at 22:17:36
thank you Tabitha,
There's a left hemisphere and a right
hemisphere, and sometimes i wonder if
my bouncing around from one to the other,
isn't the true sign of bipolar disorder.Squiggles
Posted by Roo on September 24, 2002, at 9:05:06
In reply to Re: Hi Squiggles » Tabßitha, posted by Squiggles on September 24, 2002, at 7:15:35
I'm sorry...I didn't quite understand what the two
of you disagree about? Is one of you pro med, and the
other anti-med? Do you both suffer from depression?
Posted by Squiggles on September 24, 2002, at 9:11:39
In reply to Re: Bliss---Squiggles, posted by Roo on September 24, 2002, at 9:05:06
My husband tends to be pro-med, though
he has seen the effects of Xanax addiction
on me, and cannot deny the absence of
panic attacks now that I successfully withdrew.
He does believe that drugs are necessary
for mental illness. So do I -- the fights
are over whether the diagnosis is correct
mostly, with me pointing to the many mistakes
and therefore unnecessary medication, not
to mention confusing withdrawal with a mental
illness.Squiggles
Posted by Ted on September 24, 2002, at 10:30:16
In reply to Re: Bliss---Squiggles » Roo, posted by Squiggles on September 24, 2002, at 9:11:39
Squiggles,
You must understand that psychiatry is more of an art than a science. There are no specific diagnostic tests for any disorders or illnesses (as there are for diabetes, for example). What is accepted by the medical community as an illness may actually be two or three distinct illnesses which have not yet been differentiated. Add to that the fact that the mechanisms how the medications work are also poorly understood in most cases, and where it is "understood" it is often rediscovered to be something different. A good example is the fact that everyone knows depression is the result of a lack of serotonin in the synapses, right? Well there are about a dozen *different* serotonin receptors and each is related to a different condition, eg., OCD, depression, hunger (binge eating), anorgasmia, etc. By targeting the correct receptor, the specific condition may be treated. Older, "dirty" drugs targeted them all so work for many at the same time, both good and bad, hence the numerous side effects.
In my opinion, you and your husband are both right. But you must each respect the fact that the other is responsible for him/herself. If you fear the medications because of past misdiagnoses and addictions, then your husband should support you. Likewise if he wishes to trust the diagnoses and medications for himself, let him; it's his body and as long as he isn't hurting you with it, he can do as he pleases with it.
Ted
> My husband tends to be pro-med, though
> he has seen the effects of Xanax addiction
> on me, and cannot deny the absence of
> panic attacks now that I successfully withdrew.
> He does believe that drugs are necessary
> for mental illness. So do I -- the fights
> are over whether the diagnosis is correct
> mostly, with me pointing to the many mistakes
> and therefore unnecessary medication, not
> to mention confusing withdrawal with a mental
> illness.
>
> Squiggles
>
>
Posted by Squiggles on September 24, 2002, at 10:37:32
In reply to Re: Bliss---Squiggles » Squiggles, posted by Ted on September 24, 2002, at 10:30:16
Very wise words Ted,
thank you - yes, i agree with every word
you say and i take heart -- thanks; i know
that the MRI is now showing promise and hope
for diagnostics - that's another bone of
contention between us - sigh ... oh well,
at least we can both fight on a similar
knowledge base;Squiggles
Posted by Dinah on September 24, 2002, at 10:48:44
In reply to Re: Bliss---Squiggles » Squiggles, posted by Ted on September 24, 2002, at 10:30:16
Ahh. A sensible man. I still say you have a lucky wife. My husband and I usually have the same attitude. Usually. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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