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Posted by _alii_ on August 21, 2002, at 16:06:14
In reply to anyone here? (serious post), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:03:15
> so painful to breathe to exist--found apartment--but there are complications--my mood is so ill--i had to take more..to stop the exit door from creaking
Dreamer,
I'm only here for a sec.........sending you every ounce of goodness I have left in my little soul.........it's all yours toots..........please keep posting away.......let this come out...........I would do anything to ease your complications.
with loving kindness,
alii
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:12:27
In reply to Re: i feel so ill (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:07:54
I've been working suprisingly well I'm god damn suprised --my mood has dropped because of one stupid person a greedy unenlightened unaware frukwitted punt..
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:14:23
In reply to Re: i feel so ill, posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:12:27
Things aren't as they seem
Things aren't as they seem..(repeat)
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:25:20
In reply to Re: oh ..bob's animated again.., posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:14:23
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:30:22
In reply to when do i live ? where's the manual ? (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:25:20
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:36:19
In reply to my liver is crying (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:30:22
...the essence evolves flows into the bloodstream everything is an illusion work with it or against it..bend and re-shape or remain asleep
Posted by Dinah on August 21, 2002, at 16:54:12
In reply to life is a lesson we forget but..., posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:36:19
Ahhh, dreamer. I'm so sorry you're feeling poorly. Does this have something to do with the new apartment?
Is there anything I can do to help? If you need an ear, I'm here.
Dinah
Posted by shar on August 21, 2002, at 17:12:30
In reply to life is a lesson we forget but..., posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:36:19
Posted by Gabbi on August 21, 2002, at 17:28:33
In reply to anyone here? (serious post), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:03:15
Hey Sweetie,
Glad you found an apartment. type is so misleading
I'm falling apart but the letters look so straight. My teeth are chattering like a rabid dog. Last night I didn't sleep and I was thikng
Am I living yet? There's a world out there that doesn't apply to me. I don't get it. Waht the hell could anyone do to deserve this????????
I really feel for you, Man computers are frustrating at times like this, I just want to shake it and talk to you.
I'll hang on if you will.
I can't say anything happy, I'd feel like I was lying. If I find any good energy in the back of my closet i'll send it your way.Gabbi Insane....
Posted by mist on August 21, 2002, at 17:47:04
In reply to anyone here? (serious post), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:03:15
Housing-related problems can be very stressful. After all, it's such a basic need. I hope things work out with your apartment and that you begin to feel better.
Posted by Greg on August 21, 2002, at 18:07:41
In reply to anyone here? (serious post), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:03:15
Would it help to talk about the complications? 2 minds are better than 1, 5 minds are better than 2, etc, etc, etc.
Damn you have a lot of friends.... :)
That's a good thing BTW.
GG
Posted by phil on August 21, 2002, at 19:30:35
In reply to Re: anyone here? (serious post) » ctrlaltndel, posted by Greg on August 21, 2002, at 18:07:41
dreamer, Keep the faith. Relax if you can. Breathe in through your nose, start from the stomach pulling in air till it your belly sticks out then breathe in all the way to the top of your lungs. Take 7 counts to take in air, hold your breath for 4 counts, then take 8 counts to exhale thru pursed lips. Repeat 4 times. Do it when you feel overwhelmed.
Will this help, you say? How the hell should I know! It has helped me in the past. And it will occupy a few moments of ' no thinking' time. Just try accepting where you are and "know" it'll be okay.
There isn't a person on this board that wouldn't help you. Like Grandpappy Greg said...sorry, I forgot what he said. Though I'm sure it was good coming from the old geezer. BTW Greg, I am really happy for you and your family. You're one of the best around these parts, so I hope you stick around.
Dreamer..I'd love to hear your first initial reaction and feeling when I started in with breathing directions, okay? I have a feeling it might be funny.
Who's the one person?Phil
Posted by Ritch on August 22, 2002, at 1:41:18
In reply to anyone here? (serious post), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:03:15
Posted by .tabitha. on August 22, 2002, at 2:59:47
In reply to Re: i feel so ill, posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:12:27
Posted by jay on August 22, 2002, at 6:37:50
In reply to life is a lesson we forget but..., posted by ctrlaltndel on August 21, 2002, at 16:36:19
Well...I've said this before...and I don't think there is anything wrong with 'forgetting'. Buddhists value the concept, and I think we over-value 'memory' too much here in the West.
Not that I think we should just forget everything we have learnt in our past, or the good times we have had, but when we let that take away from the joy of today, that's where the problem is.Maybe that is the value in 'letting-go'...there is a liberating freedom in that. I think back to a VERY dark period in my life a few years ago, and I am SOOOO happy to burry that.
You know, ya, I miss some of who I 'used to be..'...but it really doesn't matter now. I've got to value who I am now.....it's called me up to create a new life for myself. To be honest, I know I am doing and feeling my best when I speak like this, because it is that persistent, dark melancholy "..and the infinite sadness..", that causes me to want yesterday...and grieve over things that may seemed to have been great at the time, but really weren't so great.
So...I hope I make sense here. This may sound a bit escapist, but I am fond sometimes of the memory lapses caused by benzos in particular. On a bad night, I would sometimes pop back a few extra Xanax, and put on some soft music, maybe have a bit of wine or whatever, and as long as my other meds where doing their job, it worked out great. I could 'break' a really foul mood like that. Now, I don't mean every night doing this....but I guess that's why I find benzos just beyond 'excellent'. Without any tolerance, they always cause this nice super-sized relaxation in me, great for 'winding down'. And no...I never need 'more'...and take the same dose I have for the past eight or so years.
Anyhow...I'll shut up now. :-)
Peace,
Jay
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 8:06:39
In reply to Re: life is a lesson we forget but... » ctrlaltndel, posted by jay on August 22, 2002, at 6:37:50
Wowz replies are shooting at me...LANDLADY FROM HELL messed with my brain..her voice is enough to win wars...
I will return later when my med~drunken but rational brain defeats this on going problem..takes a lot of meds Oh NHS
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 8:49:34
In reply to Re: I am hung over but ready from big medz, posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 8:06:39
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 9:02:04
In reply to ..When problems get ......FUNKY (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 8:49:34
mania
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 9:15:18
In reply to ..When problems get ......FUNKY (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 8:49:34
OK..advice i have been given if i go to court i would win to stay here but because my landlady is in denial of her mental state and low IQ ..I want out of here...
So...all I need now is nice man with big van who has delicate hands to handle my paintings.
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 9:25:38
In reply to Re: ..When problems get ......FUNKY, posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 9:15:18
Took flat on February 8 2002 through **** in ****. Deposit was paid by Miss **** but first month's rent was granted by the Rent in Advance Charity ***8
Rent is £600 per month but Council pays every four weeks; this gives an apparently
reduced amount which will eventually work out as the landlady will be paid twice
during one month.Landlady cannot see how the rent will work out and constantly complains that she is
short of money. We believe that she is now being paid the full amount through
*****.Ms. Dummer (her REAL name folks)asked the Council to change rent payments from ***** to herself
but payment is now back to being made to ******. This had a knock-on effect in
that payment from the Council to Ms. Dummer was delayed which caused more complaints.Ms Dummer has also required Miss **** to have the gas and telephone bills made up
to Ms. Dummer - no reason has been given.The hot water failed during late April; there is no hot water in the flat and Ms. Dummer
has so far refused to have it repaired.All Miss **** wants is to be able to live quietly . She has complied
with Ms. Dummer's requests and has not argued or complained at any time. She is
now extremely upset and cannot understand why her landlady is making life so
difficult for her.I have written this course of events for Miss *****as she finds it difficult to
communicate, especially face to face. This is not a measure of her intelligence
but of the severity of her depression. I have known her for six years and lived
with her for four of those years; she is honest, truthful and does not wish to make
any trouble for anyone but simply to live undisturbed so that she can paint
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:14:26
In reply to Re: anyone here? (serious post), posted by Gabbi on August 21, 2002, at 17:28:33
Can't move into it till the estate agency give back money to the charity that gave one months rent as a holding deposit on this place..so may never move into it..blah blah..got to go out and get legal advice and scare the crap out of them..it's getting more complicated for me--i'm heavily drugged now to stop me going crazy--even the meds aren't helping--not sleeping much.
I'll hang on if you'll hang on--and NOT literally sweetypie
Posted by Dinah on August 22, 2002, at 11:17:55
In reply to Re: Delightful dread » Gabbi, posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:14:26
And do hang on...
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:19:46
In reply to Re: Go get 'em with those lawyers! » ctrlaltndel, posted by Dinah on August 22, 2002, at 11:17:55
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:34:36
In reply to Re: thanks Dr Dinah--and Everyone (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:19:46
Posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:36:09
In reply to The Cure (music band) whack whack (nm), posted by ctrlaltndel on August 22, 2002, at 11:34:36
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