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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 45. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 16:18:51
I told my husband that I got the feeling he didn't like me when I was happy, cheerful, and playful, and asked if that was an accurate perception.
He answered that he didn't think I was all that productive in that mood, and he likes to get things done. So he gets annoyed with me when I'm not productive.
I think I'll quit asking questions.
Posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 16:40:56
In reply to And another one...., posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 16:18:51
Oh I do that to myself all the time.
My former fiancee was always remarking on how beautiful my roomate was. Seeing my roommate and I were at the same club where he introduced himself to me, I asked why didn't approach her. I asked for it, I wanted to hear that she didn't compare to me.
He answered "She was talking to someone"A quote you've probably heard already from Ibsen
"what the world needs now are more people who are mad, look where the "sane" ones have gotten us.Gabbi
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 16:55:22
In reply to Re: don't ask questions., posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 16:40:56
I really needed that smile. My ego is rather deflated right now.
Your crazy, unproductive pal,
Dinah
(grin)
P.S. Another guy to thank, hmmm?
Posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 17:17:22
In reply to Re: don't ask questions., posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 16:40:56
Yes I have many men, to thank
Come on over for tea and fresh baked bread,and then you can help me with my pile of thank-you notes. :)
About the happy vs. productive
My dad always wants me to kick this depression, but if I do have a good day, he thwarts it almost instantly, I don't think its conscious but it happens far to often to be coincidence.
But, In an uncharacteristic fit of restraint, I will spare you the exact details of my no-win situation.Love and Carboydrates
Gabbi
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 19:54:13
In reply to Re: don't ask questions and ., posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 17:17:22
Posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 20:17:02
In reply to Re: I love your clever use of commas. :) (nm) » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 19:54:13
Chuckle,,,
I use them to remind myself that I'm going on, and on and on and Okay, Every post is a Rorshach, spelling AND punctuation test.:) :) :)
Gabbi, the gorgeous, glamorous, yet gormless, and harmless, goofy, and gaff-ey, perpetually post- post ponderous and therefore retractory kind of GAL
Posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 20:25:03
In reply to WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!!! » Dinah, posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 20:17:02
"I have many men, to thank."
It was one of those sentences I just love. In fact, it was a quomma moment, had the computer been capable of making quommas.
A very sincere, slightly crazy, irresponsible,
Dinah
Posted by Gabbi on August 14, 2002, at 20:44:11
In reply to Re: No really, I meant it. » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 20:25:03
But why stop there when its an opportunity to go on?
Posted by Ted on August 14, 2002, at 23:16:18
In reply to And another one...., posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 16:18:51
Dinah,
>He answered that he didn't think I was all that productive in that mood,
>and he likes to get things done. So he gets annoyed with me when I'm
>not productive.Sounds like your >husband< is the one who is depressed, and perhaps a little unhappy and jealous (of your good moods) to boot. I think he needs counseling <g>.
I would give anything to have my wife happy, playful, and cheerful, even if for just one day a month. And I like to get things done too! (Tell him you work better when you are happy, playful, and cheerful, so you will be more productive when in those moods.)
Gabbi,
>He answered "She was talking to someone"
What a putz! Good for you he's a *former* fiancee. He had to have low self esteem if he thought he couldn't just wait and talk to your roommate. Geez.
Ted
Posted by .tabitha. on August 14, 2002, at 23:37:50
In reply to And another one...., posted by Dinah on August 14, 2002, at 16:18:51
What does that remind me of? Hmm, something about ME... Oh I remember. I used to have a male friend and I always felt like he didn't really respect me. So one day I asked if he respected me. He hemmed and hawed, and said it was hard to respect me when I was struggling so much. I asked him what kind of woman he *would* respect, and he said someone who had her money invested in lots of different places, a little here, a little there. Ewwww!
Posted by .tabitha. on August 15, 2002, at 2:15:21
In reply to Re: Productive?! Ewwww...., posted by .tabitha. on August 14, 2002, at 23:37:50
*I* like you when you're happy, cheerful, and playful. Bet I'm not the only one either.
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:16:31
In reply to I'm butting in - Gabbi, Dinah , posted by Ted on August 14, 2002, at 23:16:18
Hi Ted, always glad to have you join a conversation.
I think you hit the nail on the head. My husband probably is mildly depressed and that's why he likes me mildly depressed as well. And while he admits the truth of that, he's not willing to seek counseling. And my reactions to meds have scared him off that idea too.
I have to admit two things though. First, I really like that he is responsible and dependable, and I suppose I have to realize that his placing such a high priority on productivity is just part of that.
And second, I really am not productive in a really good mood. I usually want to go to the park with the munchkin or have an imprompty picnic on the living room floor while watching Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:21:33
In reply to Re: Productive?! Ewwww...., posted by .tabitha. on August 14, 2002, at 23:37:50
Thanks for the P.S. :) You're right. My son loves me in that mood. And that's the most important thing.
About that guy, it was a quick and easy way to learn his priorities, wasn't it? You and Gabbi should get together and write a book....
Posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 10:45:36
In reply to Re: I'm butting in - Gabbi, Dinah » Ted, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:16:31
Hi Dinah,
> Hi Ted, always glad to have you join a conversation.
Thanks
> I think you hit the nail on the head.
My coworkers and my former pdoc all thought I should offer counselling services because of my uncanny ability to diagnose.... :-)
> I have to admit two things though. First, I really like that he is responsible and dependable, and I suppose I have to realize that his placing such a high priority on productivity is just part of that.
Well, it sounds like a classic case of OCD! Be sure to tell him that any SSRI will help, with both the OCD and the depression. If he refuses to listen, crush some prozac and put it in his peanut butter sandwich. :-)
> And second, I really am not productive in a really good mood. I usually want to go to the park with the munchkin or have an imprompty picnic on the living room floor while watching Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.
This sounds *so fun*. I wish I had both a mother and a wife like you! :-)
Ted
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:52:40
In reply to Re: I'm butting in - Gabbi, Dinah » Dinah, posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 10:45:36
Posted by Kari on August 15, 2002, at 13:36:26
In reply to Re: LOL and Thanks :) (nm) » Ted, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:52:40
Hi Dinah,
Just wanted to say that a family member of mine can't stand when people (whether adults or toddlers) are in a good mood, laughing, playing or behaving in any way that is short of being robotic. The kind of behavior described above results in this person becoming angry, sarcastic and insulting. He suffers from compulsive personality disorder and chronic mild depression but refuses to admit anything is wrong.
There really are people like that...Kari.
Posted by Gabbi on August 15, 2002, at 14:38:55
In reply to Re: LOL and Thanks :) (nm) » Ted, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:52:40
Posted by Gabbi on August 15, 2002, at 15:37:02
In reply to Re: LOL and Thanks :) (nm) » Ted, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 10:52:40
Unproductive my ______ is it unproductive just because you also enjoy it? My favorite memories from growing up are days like those, except it was bananna bread and l'il rascals repeats, after "snow sliding" down the Dad-made snow hill in the back yard. Having memories like that is what make your child feel special and secure.
Unless of course when your son is 19 you tell him that you regretted every moment of it...But wait I think I'm projecting my Mom onto you.
You Rock
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 19:50:11
In reply to Sounds familiar, posted by Kari on August 15, 2002, at 13:36:26
It's good to see you on this side of the site.
Yes, it's funny. Once I had left my OCD book out and my husband was reading through it. He called me all excited and said "Listed honey, this describes me perfectly". When I checked what he was reading, it was the description of obsessive compulsive PERSONALITY disorder. And I have to admit, the man knows himself. (grin)
But he has many fine and wonderful qualities, and I suppose I just have to take the bitter with the better.
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 19:55:42
In reply to Re: Dinah and boy genius, posted by Gabbi on August 15, 2002, at 15:37:02
Well, I can't imagine telling my son that, no matter what age or how obnoxious he grows up to be. :)
(And sorry again about your mom.)
I would never give up those times no matter how much my husband thinks they are unproductive. It just saddens me that he doesn't enjoy it, I guess.
I do wish though, that I had more of those moods. There are also many times when I just have to retreat and can't take a whole lot of fun. Those are the moods that I don't like in me. :(
Oh the joys of mood and anxiety disorders, for both me and my family.
Ah well, I do my best, and I keep hoping to do even better.
Posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 21:21:42
In reply to Re: Welcome to PB Social, Kari! :), posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 19:50:11
> ... I suppose I just have to take the bitter with the better.
Ahh! But like I said earlier, you can sweeten the bitter with a little powdered prozac in the PB&J :-) There are *SO* many people I would like to do that with that I would run out of paper writing all their names down.
Ted
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2002, at 21:29:05
In reply to Re: Welcome to PB Social, Kari! :) » Dinah, posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 21:21:42
We sort of did that with my father. The doctor told him Remeron was a sleeping pill. It did help his sleep, but didn't do much for his depression or disposition I'm afraid.
Perhaps Prozac in the PB&J isn't what's needed after all. But I'm not sure how to slip in a full course of psychotherapy without him noticing. (grin)
Posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 21:32:04
In reply to Re: Dinah and boy genius, posted by Gabbi on August 15, 2002, at 15:37:02
Gabbs,
> Unless of course when your son is 19 you tell him that you regretted every moment of it...But wait I think I'm projecting my Mom onto you.
That's awful and just plain mean. My parents weren't mean, just uninterested. They never had a clue and didn't want to. I had to talk them into coming to my highschool graduation, and I graduated with honors in the top 3% (I didn't have to beg, but they were just not particularly interested; they took no photos at all). They just didn't care and no mattter what, I didn't do well enough. I live only 1 (long) day's drive from them, and they have come to see their grandson only twice in 6-1/2 years.
Oh well. I guess we're not all lamenting our lives here because of stellar childhoods & parents. :-)
Ted
Posted by Dinah on August 16, 2002, at 5:00:10
In reply to Re: Dinah and boy genius » Gabbi, posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 21:32:04
How awful for you.
I'm not sure plain out mean isn't better in a way. At least it gives you something to fight against.
I'm sure this is something you already know, but it certainly wasn't personal. I'm sure that's just the way they are wired. :(
Posted by SandraDee on August 16, 2002, at 10:10:23
In reply to Re: Dinah and boy genius » Gabbi, posted by Ted on August 15, 2002, at 21:32:04
I have got some uninterested family members and then the mean ones (err one really).
Anyhow... I think it just goes back to our expectations. I had to really back down my expectations of my mother. And when she says mean stuff right to my face without even flinching, I just force myself to let it roll off my back like water of a ducks back. Some still gets in and hurts, but it's been easier, for me, since I've lowered that bar. My dad helped me a lot with that. Long story... so I'll spare you all and end it here. Sounds like you are doing well these days. Glad to see your posts more and more.
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