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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Raven on August 4, 2002, at 18:29:38
Sorry for not taking this to the therapy board, but I’ve noticed that more people hang around over here and I’m really hoping to generate a lot of your opinions.
Brief history: Outlived a terminal health diagnosis by two years, but I guess that husband of 30 years got tired of waiting for me to exit gracefully, and divorced me last year. Went into mega depression and have been in therapy ever since. Last November, I went into an IOP program for a month because I thought everything was rather hopeless. My hospital plan is a well known national HMO. I plan to end my therapy after my next visit because I believe my therapist is under pressure to end the therapy, because by HMO standards, I’ve probably been around too long.
I’m an illustrator and do graphic design. While in IOP, I grabbed a bunch of their outdated forms and brochures, re-did them to make them current, and created a series of posters on getting help for depression. The counselors and staff loved the stuff. This HMO has their own graphic department, but the IOP has some degree of autonomy because they work with public agencies so they can produce lots of their own joint material. While attending IOP, I thought it would be great if I could work for them a few days a week as a volunteer. Being there helping would be very gratifying for me because I so much appreciated all the help I had been given by my therapist, the IOP, and the psychiatric department in general. The head of IOP told me, on several different occasions, he would be very happy to have me as a volunteer.
The problem being that they never called me. I kept dropping off samples as gentle reminders of my availability, and when someone from IOP saw me in the hall or in a waiting room, they would come up to me and tell me my latest sample was, quote, awesome, cool, great, etc...but still no call.
Exit, stage left, and the regular psychiatry department is right across the hall from IOP...where my therapist is.
Now eight months later I have a new pdoc who happens to be the head of psychiatry! On my second appointment I gathered up all the stuff I had produced for IOP, gave it to him, implored him to let me volunteer to work a few days a week doing graphics or just grunt work or whatever...He admitted that I was good and that no one had ever volunteered to work in that department out of appreciation for their services before, and said he was very impressed. Then he told me that, unfortunately, they couldn’t use me because I was in therapy. Nor could they use me for a two year period after I left therapy. Geeeez...I just didn’t understand. I went into therapy because I was rejected, and now I’m being rejected because I was in therapy. Anyhow, I might not even be alive in two years.
So I went home and hopped on the internet and did a little research and think I discovered why they may have refused me. It seems to have something to do with protection from harm. Something else I don’t understand. They seem to want to protect me from my therapist, like we shouldn’t shoot the breeze in the break room if we’re there together...I might go berserk if I saw her as just another human being who might nurture her kids, sleep with her husband, burp, fart or sweat. Or maybe she has to be protected from me in case I’m a stalker.
I’m just so thoroughly disappointed that they can’t use me. After going through all the stuff with divorce and my health, I was so jazzed that there was something I felt strongly and positively about...then fizzle. Sometimes the system just doesn’t work and therapy gets in the way.
Does anybody have any creative ideas on how I could maybe convince them to change their mind and let me volunteer?
Thanks!
Raven
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2002, at 19:12:44
In reply to The bad side of therapy...advice wanted!, posted by Raven on August 4, 2002, at 18:29:38
Raven, my only advice is to not take it personally. The rules were created to protect all patients from confusion or boundary violations, and they can't break them for one patient because, well, that would cause confusion and boundary violations. :)
They just want to make sure they are giving you the best they can in therapy, and that nothing else gets in the way. I can see a few things that might happen if you were to volunteer that would affect the therapeutic relationship. And as I'm sure you probably know, the therapeutic relationship doesn't end at termination.
I'm sure they appreciate your offer and like your work, and it's not at all personal. It just can't be done. They should have told you earlier, and not left you hanging. But other than that, I think they are doing the professionally appropriate thing.
But that doesn't mean you can't take your talents to volunteer elsewhere. I'm sure many small non-profits could use what you can offer and you could do a lot of good, while not jeapardizing the sanctity of the therapeutic relationship.
By the way, it sounds like you've been through quite a lot. That you are happy and excited about giving of yourself is terrific!
Dinah
Posted by Ctrlaltndel : | on August 4, 2002, at 19:25:19
In reply to Re: The bad side of therapy...advice wanted! » Raven, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2002, at 19:12:44
Hi..
I agree with Dinah..use the therapy and take your talents somewhere else..Boundries oh boundries (I think maybe it's more rigid in US , I live in UK)...my pdoc (no therapist)and I are like good friends- he makes me laugh..he loves my art but trying to get him to buy one : )
You are a kind soul to offer your designs for free..
be well.....dreamer
Posted by susan C on August 4, 2002, at 19:54:14
In reply to The bad side of therapy...advice wanted!, posted by Raven on August 4, 2002, at 18:29:38
wow, what a special talent you have. It sounds like they were disappointed too, and were unable to say anything in a timely (for you) matter.
Perhaps you can ask the doctor who explained the situation to you to recommend an alternative place where you could volunteer, if you dont know of somewhere yourself.
I know about volunteering to work in an area not used to volunteers; I talked my way into the technical services department of the local library. they did not offer volunteer opportunities in that department, because they thought no one would be interested. Oh well.
Do you remember the movie 'pay it forward'? I cant remember if that was the title, but it certainly was the concept. Your appreciation doesnt have to be returned in a 'one to one' way.
I also call it "making a deposit in the bank account in the sky". Sometimes, I have to make withdrawals.
mouse in the drive up line
Posted by bookgurl99 on August 4, 2002, at 22:43:45
In reply to The bad side of therapy...advice wanted!, posted by Raven on August 4, 2002, at 18:29:38
Raven --
I'm sorry that you're feeling rejected right now. The truth, is they probably love your work and genuinely like you as a person. But mental health agencies have to be very careful to not bend the rules for anyone -- and while you know that you can handle having this volunteer position at the agency without a meltdown, in all likelihood there are people the agency treats who could not. In order to avoid even the appearance of a conflict of interest or breaking boundaries, the agency puts you under the same standards as everyone else.
You can be grateful that at least the psych gave it to you straight. Now you don't have to waste your time trying to figure out when they'll call you back.
Right now, I can't imagine that you'll be able to convince the agency that you should volunteer for them -- and the request will only make them wonder if you _are_ the kind of loony this request was set up for. What I would do, instead, is find a similar treatment place (that you have never been a patient with) or social work agency that you could volunteer to do similar work for. You would still have the benefit of having your work put to good use, and feel appreciated for your effort.
Good luck! And remember, don't take this personally --
bookgurl99
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