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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Gabbi on July 29, 2002, at 21:45:00
We believe you were right, even if it was an accident.Saw super doc, was going to stay in town, but came back, too tired. Superdoc hasn't seen me in a long time, so it wasn't neglect on his part.. however when I mentioned the hypothesis, and explained the not sleeping, as well as my phone problems, (For the last year, I've actually had to block myself from phoning friends, its a trick usually used by parents to keep their kids from making long distance calls, but I would for periods have to put a block on phone numbers, and get my Dad to invent a password, , otherwise I would phone people up to 6 times a day, I knew it was rude and awful, but couldn't seem to control it). I was also diagnosed with A.D.D. years ago: suicidal on a cyclical basis. Put this all together and what does it look like? Bipolar 2,
I have to wait two weeks because he wants to be sure it wasn't brought on by the medications various Dr.s have put me on and off over the years.
But he's pretty sure. I'm relieved actually. Just the sound of "mood stabilizer" ahhhh.
Though I know its not all fun. Yeah! more side
effects. If you hadn't mentioned it I wouldn't have told him because I have this fear of being labeled a self-diagnoses addict.Lucky me to have had you mention that.
Thanks
Gabbi Gabbi
Posted by Tabitha on July 29, 2002, at 22:26:31
In reply to Thank-you Tad-bitter Tabitha , posted by Gabbi on July 29, 2002, at 21:45:00
Well, um, congratulations, sort of, and welcome to the bipolar club. Seriously, if "mood stabiliser" sounds like a good thing to you, it probably is.
I was confused too about whether my hypomania was just Prozac-induced, but recalled a counselor from my pre-medication days telling me I had mood swings from depression to hypomanic. Really though, I need ADs, and if ADs induce hypomania, then I need a mood stabilizer, so the Dx doesn't matter all that much.
Posted by Tabitha on July 29, 2002, at 22:35:38
In reply to Re: Thank-you Tad-bitter Tabitha » Gabbi, posted by Tabitha on July 29, 2002, at 22:26:31
Speaking of your phoning, I also used to do compulsive socializing. Like for instance, I got obsessed with getting into this one social group, and pestered and emailed and called and crashed parties and hit on the group leaders one after the other, until they were all soooo pissed at me, I was completely ostracized, and still I couldn't stop. Every time I got the slightest response to my pestering, I'd be convinced that total acceptance was about to happen, and I'd ramp up my efforts. Just an awful, awful feeling.
Posted by Bobby on July 29, 2002, at 22:35:43
In reply to Thank-you Tad-bitter Tabitha , posted by Gabbi on July 29, 2002, at 21:45:00
Hi Gabbi, sorry to barge in on your messages but I'm glad to hear that you saw the Doc. today. My dr. tells me that I'm bipolar too. It doesn't matter to me---I'm cutting out my mood meds( zyprexa/lamactil). I'm already feeling better just being ABLE to feel. It sounds as if you have some sense of relief. That's good. By the way, we don't have mangoes in Georgia--that was my wife that made the comment about growing up eating mangoes. She should have signed her mane to it. Bobby
Posted by Gabbi on July 29, 2002, at 23:42:41
In reply to Re: Thank-you Tad-bitter Tabitha , posted by Bobby on July 29, 2002, at 22:35:43
I've read all your posts, and a hearty thank-you from MOI, but I want to say something more about every single one and well we know what happens when Gabbi gets started....
So I'm actually showing some ahem..restraint. I kind of feel like Tigger when he was "de bounced" but I think its time I learned.
Love
Gabbi-Gabbi
Posted by Tabitha on July 30, 2002, at 0:06:25
In reply to dinah, bobby ,dreamer, tabithaWould you believe?, posted by Gabbi on July 29, 2002, at 23:42:41
No need to restrain self, Gabbi. Bounce away. Here it's safe to be a tigger :)
Posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 0:33:35
In reply to Re: dinah, bobby ,dreamer, tabithaWould you believe? » Gabbi, posted by Tabitha on July 30, 2002, at 0:06:25
However, somehow you knew I was still lurking didn't you, and while I was lurking I had certain lyrics jangling through my head.. And I know its already been done... but ITS STILL CRUEL.....
I have this RainMan like ability to remember all the lyrics to just about every song I've heard from age 5 to 16 even the ones I hated, albums I never owned. As a matter of fact my sister told me proof of my mental illness lies in the fact that I know every verse of copacabana EVEN the last one, and trust me no one else in the world know's the last verse of that song unless they own the bloody album or at least are a fan, and I DETEST barry manilow.
So now I know just how much of Shadow dancing I remember THANK_YOU TABITHA
do it right takin me through the night shadow dancin you know that you do it right Oho (falsetto) how can I hold you when you ain't even mine,,,, only love will see me through (with passion) I leave it up to youooooo. Do it more drag me across the floor shadow dancin uhhhhAnd now I'm even wondering if that wasn't the BeeGEEs not Andy Gibb. See what you've started Woman!!!
And you do this to an insomniac.
Oh and the last verse of copacabana is.
Her name was lola she was a showgirl
but that was 30 years ago when she used to have a show,
Now its a disco, but not for lola
still in the dress she used to wear
faded feathers in her hair
she sits there so refined
and drinks herself half blind.
She lost her youth and she lost her Rico now she's lost her mind...
All at the copa copa cabana.need I go on.. oh I already have. but its your fault. Now my head is going to start reminding me what other horrible songs I remember oh yes, here is one now
Do you like Pina coladas
and a walk in the rain
not much into health food
but more into champagneoh if you weren't so likeable I wouldn't like you one bit. There. That'll fix you.
Posted by Tabitha on July 30, 2002, at 0:41:49
In reply to Re: Oh tabitha I bet you say that to all the girls, posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 0:33:35
>Her name was lola she was a showgirl
but that was 30 years ago when she used to have a show,
Now its a disco, but not for lola
still in the dress she used to wear
faded feathers in her hairWhoa, hearing that just transported me back to 7th grade gym class, locker room radio, yikes. Eeerie!
Posted by ctrlaltndel:( on July 30, 2002, at 1:37:09
In reply to Re: at the Copa, Copa Cabaaaana! Music and passio » Gabbi, posted by Tabitha on July 30, 2002, at 0:41:49
You fired that one in my head like a poison arrow...that crappy song is well embedded for the day ...
Posted by ?Ta@@@@Bit-Ha:) on July 30, 2002, at 2:24:33
In reply to Copa, Copa Cabaaaana! AAArrrrrgggggNO » Tabitha, posted by ctrlaltndel:( on July 30, 2002, at 1:37:09
Posted by CtrlAlT@~ndel*^] on July 30, 2002, at 2:50:16
In reply to Twasn't my fault, was just replying innocently (nm) » ctrlaltndel:(, posted by ?Ta@@@@Bit-Ha:) on July 30, 2002, at 2:24:33
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2002, at 5:47:17
In reply to Re: Oh tabitha I bet you say that to all the girls, posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 0:33:35
I confess that Copa was not one of his finer achievements (did you see the TV movie?), but still....
Posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 13:13:17
In reply to I should read posts more carefully (nm) » ?Ta@@@@Bit-Ha:), posted by CtrlAlT@~ndel*^] on July 30, 2002, at 2:50:16
Can't really say I did that on purpose to you t'was directed at Tabitha for her slamming me with
OH iiiiiii jest wanna be your everything open up your heart and let me be YOur eVerything( Andy Gibb)However I am quite pleased with the results...
Posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 13:34:01
In reply to Upon my soul! You detest Barry?! :( » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2002, at 5:47:17
I must clarify I do not detest Barry Manilow, no, I am sure he's a kind lovely man,
But I think it was Denis Leary who said "I want to drink beer out of his skull"NO Not that extrememe either but I certainly am somewhat ashamed of having the dubious gift of knowing the words to his songs without being an "appreciator"
I love what you wrote about the football game,your husband sounds really funny, and like he likes you for your quirkiness. True?
I dated a guy for two years, TWO YEARS, and he knew I worked with the mentally challenged, was a vegetarian, a conscientious consumer blah blah,
and We were watching T.V on the anniversary of Martin Luther Kings death, and there was a commercial advertising an upcoming biography of him, and of course it had a clip from his "I have a dream" speech.So I said " Oh big deal you have a dream we all have bloody dreams, I hate that, there is nothing worse than waking up and having someone give you all the details of the dream they had the night before"
Ahem, Dinah, would I need to explain that I was dripping with sarcasm and pretend "shallowness" to you? and you've maybe "known" me for a month. Well, I had Martin Luther King and his principles explained to me by this man ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHAND THEN
A while later he was tut tutting about the horrors in Bosnia, and I shrugged and said "well its not like we were planning on going there for holidays or anything" Once again... the explanation..
Well lets say I haven't found my soul mate yet.
And the deflating,and not directed to you disclaimer. Its the P.C stuff I hate having to defend..Other than that I would hate to think anyone took what I said as a personal slight and don't mind making sure they don't
When I find things particularly horrifying and indescribable I make comments like that, but only to people I know, I'm not trying to make light of anything, its the only way I can "deal" if I can't actively help.
Super Doc... Not much to say about this visit, but I see him again in two weeks
Posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 13:51:36
In reply to Re: My word that was a tad harsh Dinah.., posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 13:34:01
I just read the post about your father, it used to be both my parents, now, its my mother. She's the only person who makes me angry enough to injure myself.
I turn the anger inward too. I'm sickened by the fact that at my age I'm dependant on them again, and of course because I admit I have a problem anything that she doesn't like is caused by me. I can't get angry at her, or even prove her wrong, there would be no point because then she will do something like "decide not to pick up my medication"
The frustration the powerlessness, I just don't know what to with it, and the only release I get is from cutting. And ranting...
More Calvin and Hobbes WisdomAfter tearfully burying the little racoon he'd befriended, Calvin said
"Well I guess even though I'm sad Rocky died, I should be happy that I knew him for a little while" then...
"Geez, what a stupid world"
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2002, at 15:19:42
In reply to Re: More disconnected blather Dinah, posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 13:51:36
Thanks for the Calvin and Hobbes quote. I didn't think anything would make me smile at the moment.
I do think that feeling of impotence has a lot to do with my reaction to my father. I usually just end the conversation quickly when he starts to rant. Don't know why I was too slow today.
My husband is far from perfect, but he is my best friend. He appreciates some of my quirkiness, but I notice he seldom introduces me to his friends. :)
I rarely admit to my taste in music as it is decidedly uncool. But I like Barry Manilow, as well as a few other singers that would probably make you cringe. I also have a real taste for gregorian chants. But I hope you'll like me anyway. :)
Dinah
Posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 19:57:50
In reply to Re: Hi Gabbi, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2002, at 15:19:42
Dinah,
When I was a teenager I was really a nerd because I did like Barry Manilow, and even now it was fear of being mocked that made me say I detest him. I wouldn't buy any of his music now, but I really shouldn't have said detest... now, Celine Dion I detest, not because I don't think she has a good voice, its just that well, sometimes I think you have to leave some of the emotion to the listener, not ram it down their throats.Gregorian Chants, I do like, they give me the creeps, but in the way that sometimes really affecting art can make you feel uncomfortable.
I have the worst guilty pleasure and that is Kid Rock, all the logic in the world tells me I should not like his music, but help me I do. Its inexplicable.
Now, seeing you are obvious love of language(arcane archaic)and its been a long time since I've spoken to someone who mentions those topics as if they are normal conversation (and to me they are)
Two unimportant but still bothersome questions. 1. regarding the word vicarious. To me, saying something like: I live vicariously through her sounds redundant, because vicariously means to live through someone. However, saying I live vicariously period leaves the question to be answered, well through whom or what do you live vicariously? So what is the point of the word?And one more
The term "it changed the course of history"
How can you change something like history, when it only exists in retrospect, otherwise it wouldn't be history would it?Now, please don't think my life is plagued by these unanswered questions, and I feel so awful
only physically thankfully, I don't even know if I'll be back at the computer tonight so please, put this at the very very bottom of your "to do " list if you put it anywhere at all.
Now if I can think of another way to make you smile, I will post it.Love
Gabbi-Gabbi
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2002, at 20:12:00
In reply to Re: Gracious no, this changes everything » Dinah, posted by Gabbi on July 30, 2002, at 19:57:50
I'm rather brain dead so I'll have to puzzle over your word questions for a while. But they did make me smile and give me something else to think about other than how rotten I feel.
Kid Rock I don't know. I don't think I know anything post 1983.
But I love most 60's bubblegum music, because it makes me smile. In fact I love most 60's music except the most extreme and I can't give you examples of those because I am blissfully unaware.
Do you perchance have a fondness for English Madrigals or poetry of the Stuart period?
Here is one of my favorites, by Sir John Suckling.
Out upon it, I have loved three whole days together,
And am like to love three more if it proves fair weather.
Time shall moult away its wings ere it shall discover,
In this whole wide world again, such a constant lover.I'm doing that from memory, so I may have the punctuation wrong. But I love Suckling. He's like the Weird Al Yankovic of the Stuart period.
This is the end of the thread.
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