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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 5:03:18
Thinking lately about how babbling is different from 3D socializing. Besides the obvious lack of non-verbal communication, these differences strike me:- if you say something to someone, and they don't respond...
-->3d life: would be incredibly rude
-->babbling: happens all the time, probably means nothing- having an unknown number of anonymous lurkers listening to conversations....
--> 3d life: would be incredibly creepy
--> babbling: doesn't seem to matter that much- remembering relationships and conversations...
--> is hard to do exactly
--> it's all there in the archives, just look- socially anxious people...
--> get tongue-tied and sweaty in social situations
--> feel safer- appearance...
--> makes a huge difference
--> totally removed from the equation- conversations last for
--> minutes or hours
--> days on end, a luxury of time
Posted by mair on July 28, 2002, at 11:14:23
In reply to 3D world vs babble world, posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 5:03:18
>
> -" if you say something to someone, and they don't respond...
> -->3d life: would be incredibly rude
> -->babbling: happens all the time, probably means nothing"Maybe in babble world it means nothing to the person who doesn't respond but I don't think it means nothing to the poster. A lot of people have complained here about feeling invisible, and it's always pretty aggravating when someone solicits support (starts a thread) and doesn't acknowledge the advice or support offered.
>
> - having an unknown number of anonymous lurkers listening to conversations....
> --> 3d life: would be incredibly creepy
> --> babbling: doesn't seem to matter that muchProbably true
>
> - remembering relationships and conversations...
> --> is hard to do exactly
> --> it's all there in the archives, just lookIt's tough though to work your way through alot of archives.
>
> - socially anxious people...
> --> get tongue-tied and sweaty in social situations
> --> feel saferAbsolutely true I think
>
> - appearance...
> --> makes a huge difference
> --> totally removed from the equationTrue again
>
> - conversations last for
> --> minutes or hours
> --> days on end, a luxury of timeWhen the conversation is a little poisonous, I'm not sure time is a luxury or a curse.
Mair
>
>
>
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 14:01:24
In reply to 3D world vs babble world, posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 5:03:18
The part about appearances fascinates me. I wonder if I would assume someone was speaking from a completely different perspective if I knew what they looked like.
But Tabitha, being the vivacious, stunning social butterfly you are who is completely at ease all the time,don't you find it hard to not be able to smack someone occasionally?
:) :) :) :)
Gabbi-Gabbi
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 14:17:44
In reply to Re: 3D world vs babble world » tabitha, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 14:01:24
A huge clarification... I meant nothing about anyone regarding the (smack someone)I hadn't realized how it could have looked considering a "situation" I seem to be blissfully ignorantly unaware of. Sorry, can I please blame it on my medication withdrawl
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 14:53:10
In reply to Re: 3D world vs babble world, posted by mair on July 28, 2002, at 11:14:23
Mair, I'm probably guilty of the not thanking or acknowledging people occasionally. I get overwhelmed with the posts sometimes and forget I even started a thread. Especially when I'm hypomanic.
I'll bet that happens to other people as well. On another message board I participate on, the messages fly so fast and furious that I feel my head is spinning in a circle, so I rarely participate at all and if I do, I probably forget what I've posted a minute or so later.
I like the way Dr. Bob has arranged this board in threads so my poor easily overwhelmed brain can focus a bit better.
But I generally assume that if someone doesn't respond, or if my post is a thread-killer (as it often is) that it isn't personal.
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 14:56:13
In reply to Re: 3D world : Fools rush in......Sorry, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 14:17:44
Stay blissful Gabbi. :)
No need to apologize.
I doubt anyone took any offense at all, and on the off chance someone did, it's just because they don't know you yet.
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 15:09:22
In reply to Re: 3D world : Fools rush in......Sorry » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 14:56:13
Dinah, Bless you again
I was determined to cut down on my wordiness(except when I do it jokingly) , but I'm so worried about not covering all the bases in case someone takes offence that I feel like I want a permanent disclaimer printed on all my posts.
And as you probably saw, your Mango story, saved me from the pit last night. That was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. The kind that I want to phone people and tell them about, but then it would have gotten lost in the "translation"
Gabbi-Gabbi
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 15:19:40
In reply to Re: 3D world : » Dinah, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 15:09:22
Thanks Gabbi, glad to help anytime. :)
I know what you mean about disclaimers though. I've started almost making them standard. I don't mind reviewing my posts, but looking at them from every possible angle to see if there is anything that someone could read something into is tiresome. And deflating.
Tell you what. I'll always interpret what you've written in the best possible light if you'll do the same for me. And if there is a misunderstanding we'll ask for clarification instead of getting upset. Deal?
A somewhat more sober,
Dinah
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 16:19:32
In reply to Re: 3D world : » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 15:19:40
Always assume the highest intention. Which is when one is feeling dooooown hard to do, so I will ask too.
And just to clarify.... he he
My wanting to not offend anyone is absolutely genuine, and I KNOW that yours is too. Its not something I think is some horrible obligation.
But I know from experience its impossible, because when my brain is subconsciously looking to feel hurt or insulted or shamed, it will find it ANYWHERE.
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 16:22:22
In reply to Re: 3D world : Deal: Dinah » Dinah, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 16:19:32
I have to work on that Gabbi, because I always do tend to see it as an obligation (and sometimes a horrible one).
Always room for personal growth. :)
In ME, In ME I meant!!! (grin)
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 16:29:04
In reply to Re: 3D world : Horrible Obligation » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 16:22:22
Posted by ctrlalt n del on July 28, 2002, at 16:40:33
In reply to Re: 3D world : Horrible Obligation » Gabbi, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 16:22:22
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 17:26:43
In reply to Re: 3D world- hope U weren't hinting at me too:):) (nm) » Dinah, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 16:29:04
Posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 18:31:14
In reply to Re: 3D world : Fools rush in......Sorry, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 14:17:44
Gabbi-Gabbi, I took no offense. I thought you meant just that sometimes the cyber-distance is a good thing and sometimes it isn't. Besides not being able to slap someone, we also can't give real hugs or pats on the head, right? Though now that I type this, I realize some people are adept at the art of cyber-slapping, and cyber-hugging, and... Must stop here
Posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 18:40:25
In reply to Re: 3D world vs babble world » mair, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 14:53:10
>
> But I generally assume that if someone doesn't respond, or if my post is a thread-killer (as it often is) that it isn't personal.Haha, thread-killers, good phrase. When I first started posting I got obsessed with the notion that my posts were more often than others, the last one in the thread. Yes, I was personally responsible for killing the conversation. Then I noticed, Duh!, there are dates on the posts, and I was tacking on a comment a week after the last reply, when everyone's attention had already moved on.
Also, it's just that we're conditioned to find it insulting or hurtful if someone doesn't answer in real life, but the protocol is a bit different here. People only answer if they want to. While that means you might not always get an answer, it also means that the answers you get are more likely to be meaningful, since people can pick and choose the conversations they want to join, and bow out at any time. I still fight the reaction of reading something terrible into it when I was the last person who posted, you know, "I said something terrible" or "so-and-so doesn't like me", etc etc.
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 19:07:20
In reply to Re: 3D world vs babble world » Dinah, posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 18:40:25
I didn't come up with "threadkiller". I got it from Jane. :)
Just wanted to make sure to post this so you wouldn't think you had killed this thread. (grin)
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 19:46:35
In reply to Re: I cannot tell a lie... » tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2002, at 19:07:20
You know Tabitha, It wasn't you I was worried about offending, I actually now feel worse that you thought I might have not given you enough credit to know I was just fooling around...
Umm we did have a conversation about flesh eating right? Neither of us felt we had to confirm that we weren't really cannibals :):) :)Its just that I'd written that lightheardly but by the time it was posted another post was between your post and my answer, and it was quite serious and I didn't want anyone to think the smack was a reference to that letter, or the "situation' it referred too, (which I'm still unaware of)
No darling flesh eating Zombie pal
You are the reason I am now Gabbi-Gabbi
Its perfect, quirky enough that I'm comfortable with it. Thanks
Posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 21:27:23
In reply to Re: No I'm the thread killer ME -tabitha pls read, posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 19:46:35
Posted by Gabbi on July 28, 2002, at 21:38:49
In reply to All is well Gabbi-Gabbi. PS I'm really a cannibal (nm), posted by tabitha on July 28, 2002, at 21:27:23
This is the end of the thread.
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